Saturday, January 4, 2014

Part 4

Theme from Jaws.
Tessa must really love you because I think you need breath mints.
Also - that swift head turn gave me whiplash.
When I sleep with a woman, I don't play.

The classics never go out of style.
"Jesus Christ he fake bit my face."

I'd be lucky if Scott Moir even remembers my name after he goes home.

I'm not frigid. I'm focused.
Oh God, oh God, will my girl parts ever work!?
"I love my dog!"
"I love your dog!"

"Let's make a lot of space between us for the dog!"

I got nothin.
Casssandra: Show business even more exciting than I dreamed it would be!
It almost looks like I'm limply hand-jobbing a tiny wang.
(Not Scott's. His is ENORMOUS.)
Tessa and her sexless Liz Lemon slipper socks.
Tessa and her sexless everything.
I - I had to get out of bed this morning. There was a new message in
my email in-box. I saw another vehicle at the cross street when I reached
the stop sign. The orange juice at The Bag Lady had pulp in it. I think
I have to re-fill the gas tank in my car. My i-phone made a sound
when Marina texted. The security guard at the arena called
me "Tessa".
Next week:

P-Chiddy is straight but if he wants any poontang Scott says he
needs to go through Scott.
Oh - rilly?!

55 comments:

  1. No one, not even the fans who believe Tessa and Scott's public narratives, ever thought Scott wasn't crazy about his beautiful skating partner. It looks to me one of the objectives is to make Tessa as unappealing to Scott as possible. It makes it easier to swallow that there's another girl in his life.

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  2. A fan posted this in the VM thread:

    http://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/showthread.php?90333-Tessa-amp-Scott-34-Together-Every-step-Every-breath&p=4086246&viewfull=1#post4086246

    a translation of what they had posted in an Italian forum http://fenice.forumcommunity.net/?f=8540151

    Some highlights:

    "Then I noticed that the MC steps are very small, many but small steps; TS make few steps but long and "regular" without skipping or interruptions."

    "DW are miles away and I still don't see finnstep in their movements"

    (about the FD)

    (SlLi) "The vertical lift is un-watchable if I think of TS's... or Pechalat / Bourzat's too, that is just as hard ... never mind ... Meryl is all clinging on Charlie ... "

    (CiSt) "Meryl especially, I never see her stretched knees .. never ..."

    (DiSt) "In TS I see 2 legs and 2 bodies that become ONE! Besides deep edges, speed, millimeter proximity... MC miles distant , flat blade and aren't "Un corpo e un'anima - a one body and one soul " .... (Un corpo e un'anima its an old italian love song)"

    I wish I understood Italian because from the translations this forum seems to actually have open discussion of the skating and judging (the horror!). There is someone else there who does a breakdown of the physics of the skating with frame-by-frame comparisons (someone re-posted their post here, i think). I wish we saw more of this stuff at FSU and GS. More than that, I wish we saw skating commentators, journalists, coaches asking these questions.


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    1. That's a great forum.

      Only fans are critiquing the skating from an informed perspective. Everybody else in the sport is busy telling us it's a style and personality contest, the better to dismiss VM's difficulty. I don't think anyone's even pointed out the difficulty of the straight line lift. They'll use a word like spectacular, which translates mostly to effective or having impact, but not point out the skating skills it demonstrates.

      The fact that Meryl and Charlie take many many small steps has been noticed by fans attending in person for years. So has the fact that their twizzles slow down and don't cover much ice. So has the fact that they're slower than VM. This doesn't matter. There's a unified message everybody is saying and it has nothing to do with the skating.

      It's definitely like S&P versus B&S, which is ironic. Canada may forget that it's the U.S. media that got that done for Canada. Without the U.S. media, S&P wouldn't have a "here, shut up" second gold medal. Now they're using the same playbook on DW versus VM.

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    2. "Now they're using the same playbook on DW versus VM."

      With Skate Canada's full support. Canada doesn't care about ice dance gold this time. They want mens gold, and they know they have to give some to get some.

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    3. I like Patrick but just on that basis I'm rooting for Yazu.

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    4. Count me in on team Hanyu and Brian Orser...

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    5. "It's definitely like S&P versus B&S, which is ironic."

      I posted the same thing (actually it is in agreement with a comment you had made) under one of the other posts. All of the sudden the things that are supposed to get you the marks (in this case, the things that actually make ice dance ice DANCE and figure skating figure SKATING) don't matter. Everything that made BS superior was disregarded because they were a Russian team up against a crowd-pleasing North American team. Therefore, a noticeable error cancels out things like superior line, skating skills, and far more complex choreo. And SP were actually a very talented pair--BS were just superior and deserved a cushion. I think DW's overmarking is even worse because they have serious deficiencies in their technique (skating and dancing) and are not skating throughout enough of their programs when other teams actually are and have superior technique. Nothing against DW--I just can't say they are deserving champions when there are several teams who are superior to them.

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  3. Thanks for the recap, OC. I need to find a reason to say "limply hand-jobbing a tiny wang" in my everyday life. These two and what they've done is beyond absurd.

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  4. TSL also did a recap. MESS. of course they'd love this show http://www.theskatinglesson.com/tessa-scott-a-recap-love-story/

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  5. The fallout from putting their lies on National TV, under the guise of "documentary," won't be pretty. People generally take it in stride when they discover celebrity relationships were lies, as long as they feel there are legitimate reasons and nothing falls in the category of egregious grotesqueness. But the disgusting sham antics being fed to the public as "real" won't pass the smell test (all of it - Scott's sexual acting-out, the reality of a daughter in the wings, the denial of a long-standing marriage).

    Sorry Tessa and Scott, I can predict with certainty your lies will be exposed and fans won't take kindly to being mocked and made fools of.

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    1. You start to wonder, though, if they'll get away with never coming clean. It's becoming clear that no one more public than this blog is going to call them out. So maybe they can get away with it indefinitely. I certainly hope that can't.

      I don't want someone to out them to prove anything, I'm entirely convinced. But I want someone to out them just so we can stop being subjected to this crap.

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    2. @ 4:14 PM
      Others here on the blog have made a good point that this time it's different and the likelihood of an exposure is much greater. This time they're not restricting themselves to social media crap while carrying on a different story in legit media. What before were facebook albums on Jessica's or Alma's public walls, this time will be the "albums" come to life during each of these shows, on nothing less than a televised national stage.

      Tessa and Scott's history shows they prioritize shamming over good skating-PR. I expect this series of shows to be no different. It's the stupidest type of PR possible heading into the Olympic games but then they've always been more sham-oriented in their PR than skating-oriented. That focus wasn't going to change with this type of show and especially not with this type of TV network.

      Since this public stage is not just national but thanks to fans' sharing of videos it's worldwide, the chances are greatly increased that many many people who know the truth and consider what VM are doing to be outrageous will be fed up and decide to do something about it. I used to think they would get away with it indefinitely. No more. Not after this stunt.

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    3. They are ALREADY exposed. I don't think people get that. People already KNOW. Much of the media that writes about them and promotes their bullshit already KNOW. That lady who wrote the hilarious re-cap - do we think she doesn't have a pretty good idea how much bullshit this is? Why doesn't she call it out directly instead of just her hysterical backhanded commentary?

      Who exactly do you think is going to be inspired to call them out? People already KNOW. They just pretend they don't.

      They're not on our side. This is product. Most of entertainment media is product. In my observation and experience, entertainment reporters identify more with their subjects than with the public. We're just the paycheck. They also love knowing the story behind the story that we don't know.

      Figure skating is entertainment. Nobody in the media wants to blow the whistle because then they're not trusted and the access is going to shut down, not just for Scott and Tessa but for others. Even news is entertainment most of the time.

      All of this is facilitated by the fact that figure skating is such a small sport, with such a small audience, and it's arcane to most sportswriters who have no idea how to evaluate figure skating. Instead the focus is on personalities and performance. Figure skaters are protected because nobody is paying attention in the mainstream reporting. It's not football. It's not baseball. Football and baseball players have legions of fans watching them and huge media outlets following them, AND they have gossip pages and tabloids keeping tabs. Figure skaters don't. The matrix around bigger sports supports people being called out, because if "X" media outlet doesn't do it when the opportunity is there, some other outlet will. There is no such competition in figure skating. The people who want to report on it usually have a bigger field they cover in depth and figure skating is their add on, where they get to be groupies and star fuckers. To them it's soap opera and the fans are just a bunch of sex starved no-lifers.

      What I would ask yourself is what would be in it for someone - or for whatever media - to "expose" them. Where would it get them?

      The ONLY thing that would expose Scott and Tessa is a tabloid. I don't think any of the major tabloids hang out in either Canton, Windsor, Ilderton or London. Furthermore, any tabloid that took an interest would have to get up to speed on everything going back ten years - why would they care? The tabloids just shell out the money and write the story - they don't care about being liked by their subjects - they are who they are.

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    4. OC, do you think that once the spotlight on Tessa and Scott, and by proxy Moirville, goes down that some of Moirville might start talking to get the spotlight back on them?

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    5. OC 6:34
      Maybe a traditional media expose couldn't happen because of all the reasons you mention. But too many people know and having this garbage on TV might make someone decide to find a way to publish some photos. That's all it would take. If something apparently innocuous gets leaked, at some point the media has to pay attention and say something if for no other reason so that their competition doesn't report on it first.

      On paper it looks like it could never be revealed. But I think it could happen now simply because this stage is too public and too big and many more variables are out of Moirville's or the skating-media's control.

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    6. They'd have to have an incentive. I think for a lot of the non-Moirville people around them; they've known for so long and have their own lives it's more like - let this play out. They don't care enough. Why should they? It's not their problem; gossip-wise they know the dirt and it's old hat for them. Who needs the agita?

      I've been wrong before about how certain journalists react once they're in on it. Rosie DiManno briefly seemed to have come to Jesus but then she tacked back. But she's the sort of personality who is most susceptible to attention from a celebrity subject. A little flattery and she's their bitch. SC knew that early when they tweeted thanks for her "sensitivity."

      I am curious about Ryan Pyette, but there's not enough there to determine how much he's protecting himself. He quoted like a quote machine in the last article he wrote about VM, an article summing up the interview he conducted with them about the reality show. EVERYTHING was quoted. He didn't even describe them clearing their throats without attributing it to them. In skating pieces it tends to be quotes and then journalists summing up in their own voice. Pyette's last piece was pretty conspicuous in the way he didn't sum up, describe, or assert anything in his own voice. Everything was in quotes or reported as something Scott and Tessa were representing or saying.

      I'd never seen him before I saw a small piece of video - he was younger than I thought and seemed very earnest. I don't know if that means anything though. Maybe next time he'll be their bitch.

      IMO Steve Milton needs to start following his example. There is no excuse for an active sports journalist to lie for Scott and Tessa. At this stage, if Milton is THAT slow, he needs to check what he's been told by Scott and Tessa (presuming he hasn't been lying for them on the grounds that they're figure skaters, their fans don't count, and it's not real journalism). His situation is really bad. It's one thing to be in the tank and produce the most flattering version of a subject's story, it's another to proactively hoax.

      I don't know what will happen after Sochi. Maybe somebody with a big mouth who is all set in life in some way and out of figure skating will blow the whistle.

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  6. yeah, as that poster said, this image says it all:

    http://i.imgur.com/XjlnSEl.jpg

    This is how they enter into their NTMiSt. Jumping to get momentum. Give em top marks!

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    1. People aren't kidding when they say DW fly across the ice.

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  7. I had to give away my Canadians tickets because I have a business trip to Boston this week. Tried to get practice tickets but they are only available if you get the whole event pass :-( I was hoping to see how slow dw are when viewd from a fixed point

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  8. New hire at SC; a new role of Chief Marketing Officer:

    http://www.skatecanada.ca/AboutUs/NewsDetails/tabid/2157/sni%5B2797%5D/3147/language/en-US/Default.aspx

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    1. What happened to Debbi? SC is just gonna stop pretending she's anything but the equivalent of a mob hire?

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    2. Wow Mr. Halliday - the economy must be rough - if you went from marketing Ultimate Championship Fighting in Canada (and I am assuming that there was job cuts) to going to Skate Canada - good luck. Couldn't even make back to marketing in hockey in Canada...and to think this is a new position within Skate Canada - upper management heavy...

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  9. This New Chief Marketing Officer is from the world of "Ultimate Fighting".

    You think Skate Canada's tough campaign was not so subtle discrimination. This guy is going to come out swinging with Tough 2.0" the Chuck Norris version,..... where they actually have people like Johnny Weir arrested before entering the competitions. and I guess this is why Jeff Buttle announced on twitter today he was going to Boston for US Nationals, instead of his planned trip to Ottawa for Canadian Nationals.

    Barb MacDonald is doing back flips (which is pretty good for a 5 foot tall 300 lbs 56 year old women)

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    1. Anon at 1:30 pm - actually if I had to guess I think Barb MacDonald will eventually get the boot.

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    2. 1:30 - no, Boston was a connection on his flight to Ottawa. Probably got re-routed because of the storm.

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    3. I'll reserve judgment re the new marketing guy. We could assume Barb shared One Way Ministry's values when she was their marketing person because she was a member of One Way Ministries. For this new guy, Ultimate Fighting could have been just a gig. That's what markeing people do.


      I haven't researched Ultimate Fighting, but a marketing team is generally executing and strategizing a vision determined by somebody else, not necessarily sharing it personally.

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  10. So...I went a little OCD on spins.

    First up, refuting a post by Noted COP Expert Dorispulaski, the one that claimed V/M have been using the same pair spin longer than D/W have been repeating twizzles. http://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/showthread.php?87432-Davis-amp-White-16-Magical-Wizard-Hair/page46

    http://youtu.be/gm3X7Skrhrc

    Then a breakdown of how often the teams have repeated spin positions.

    http://youtu.be/wXjKPVuDrFs

    And then a collection of their entrances, exits, and transitions between poses, comparing both to themselves and each other.

    http://youtu.be/W_ESTVfji3I

    Conclusion - by pretty much any measure, V/M have had more variation in their spins. Vs D/W's spins that is, not just their twizzles.

    The promised video with all the D/W hops and all the...well, everything, is going to be a couple weeks still, because it will be very comprehensive indeed ;)

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    1. Thanks! I hope to put these up on the blog tonight so we get a break from the reality show.

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  11. "Noted COP Expert Dorispulaski" Thanks for the laugh! she's so desperate

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    1. Doris pretends to know the system and skating so well, but the claims she makes to show DW are superior make no sense. What she says completely defies the laws of physics. I can't believe so many people see her as an expert.

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  12. Thank you so much for the videos. Great work and as always very illuminating. :)

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  13. This is very OT now but do you think Lindsey Vonn's dropping out of the Olympics will force NBC to focus more on DW now and try to push them towards the gold medal ?
    Lindsey was everybody's darling and nearly the entire NBC coverage focused on her. DW were mostly ignor but now they need a new gold medal contender for their coverage. Without Evan and with Ashley's limited chances to even win a bronze do you think they will spend all their energy on DW and how would this affect VM ?

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    1. Anon at 6:37 am - good question - NBC and Procter and Gamble took a hit with Vonn decided to think long term and drop out of the Olympics. But Procter and Gamble have been smart with their Mom campaigns and showing that winning is not necessarily everything. Will DW get a bump in coverage - not sure. There are several new events at these Olympics - so who know what stories develop. If there was that much current US figure skating talent / personalities with DW, Ashley Wagner, Max Aaron, Jeremy Abbott, Adam Rippon etc (no dissing of course) then why the barrage of ex skaters getting air time (Lysacek, Yamaguchi, Kwan, Boitano and re-hashing of the Kerrigan story).
      It's mid week before US Nationals and Canadians - how many legit figure skating articles have we seen? Very few. It's a niche sport on the decline in North America...

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  14. Well I think it's safe to say that we in the beginning stages of the Tessa Virtue marketing campaign. Obviously part of the reason is that Tessa is a beautiful woman and that women's magazines have an interest in women (like Canadian Bride and Chatelaine). And then I expect Tessa will be front and center of the Procter and Gamble ads for Canada. And then add the reality show.
    Let's see where this goes...but then again do you see Patrick Chan getting the same exposure - no.
    Let's hope VM skate well at Nationals. And it will be interesting to see who ends up in the Kiss and Cry with them - as most likely Marina Zoueva will be in Boston at US nationals...

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    1. Oh yes, the Tessa Virtue marketing campaign has definitely begun. She is a very lovely woman, so on one hand, good for her. On the other, she's marketing herself as a single, completely unattached, stylish woman. Is that how she sees herself? Is that how she wishes her life really were? Married and mama Tessa doesn't exist, cannot exist.

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    2. Well she definitely comes across as someone who is financially very comfortable, likes the finer things in life and is way out of Scott Moir's league (or actually the average joe's league).

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    3. Scott Moir doesn't even exist on the same planet as Tessa Virtue.

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  15. It's looking like the reality show plus all their PR at the moment is a targeted rebuttal to the blog and/or anyone who thinks they live together as husband and wife and parents.

    For a while it will look like they're winning. The question is for how long?

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    1. The question is 'winning what'. The competition is in their heads.

      The important thing for the blog, at least, was to demonstrate that the web was democratic. If you want to absolutely fuck with people you have to pay for it through your p.r. people and marketing people. If you want to fuck with people on social media there is going to be push back. It's true of the most famous, celebrated people in the world; it should be true of Virtue and Moir. I think the blog does that, and as a value add if people feel funny or smell something bad about Virtue and Moir, it's here to tell them WHY it feels off - they're lying.

      They remain appealing personalities, although the reality show is going a pretty long way to mess THAT up. They both come across as stilted and obnoxious. And they're wonderful skaters. And, they're polite, nice, friendly people in their world. How much there is there is a different story.

      The big mystery now isn't their relationship or what motivates the sham, but their characters, the real who are they, I guess. Are they fucked up, know it, but are powering through, or are they really this psychopathic.

      I think inside the sport the surface appeal - the skating, the friendliness, the demeanor - helps paper over a bunch of deeper questions about them for anyone who considers somewhat deeper questions.

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    2. These people are lying. In the most recent article on Tessa it's repeated that they're not a couple (no matter how fans wish it). You kind of figure that the way the repeat "no matter how fans wish it" has sort of been appropriated as a euphamism for "fans are the ones who are lying."

      I do wonder what justifies this. What they're doing is gaslighting and scamming. It's very different than plain old deniability.

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    3. It also looks a lot like their facebook shamming brought to life, before the blog even existed. They were doing all this stuff on social media before the blog.

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  16. From the sounds of it, they're not even arriving at Nationals together. From Twitter: "My dad and Tessa Virtue are on the same flight right now , I'll probably cry"

    If dad recognizes Tessa, he'd surely know Scott as well. I guess it wasn't enough to sit separately on planes, now they don't even bother flying together.

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    1. It sometimes comes across that there's this weird overlay of cult with Tessa. Her personality and temperment is what it is, and then she looks for philosophies that support it, but she doesn't seem all that fit to critique these philosophies. So far we've got Objectivism and we've got "Positive psychology" (I've read up on it and still want to know - as opposed to regular psychology?).

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    2. yeah i doubt she follows objectivism.

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    3. I doubt she's really got a strong grasp on any of it. Logical implications don't seem to be her forte.

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    4. im going to assume she doesn't know what it is and just likes rand casually

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    5. I don't know about casually - four + years touting it as a favorite book is more than that. Selective reading maybe, and totally without any context.

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    6. if she was really passionate about rand she wouldnt be misquoting her. maybe she read the book through a barthesian-like 'author is dead' perspective.

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    7. She could misquote her if she's not that bright and still be passionate about her. Besides, when did she quote her? She just mentions Fountainhead as a favorite book and sometimes says shit that suggests she's completely twisted Rand's philosophy (although not enough to be secure that Tessa isn't some sort of pathological something), but not directly sourcing these ideas as inspired by the Fountainhead.

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    8. in her interview with chantelaine. i dont think i've ever seen tessa embody rand's philosophy. in fact its quite the opposite

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    9. Where did Tessa misquote Rand? I thought that quote she listed in that magazine was correct?

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    10. no its incorrect http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/11/let-me/

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    11. To clarify, none of my remarks about Tessa and the different philosophies/ideas in which she's expressed interest, either directly (positive psychology) or indirectly (The Fountainhead), stem from this interview.

      It's that when she DOES allude to an inspirational resource, usually my reaction is "motherfucker." Both of them (positive psychology, objectivism) seem to attempt to impose force of will against not just reality, but humanity, and to reject non-positive (a/k/a, fully human) experience. I usually kind of (I hope) get the nut of what she's going for, but don't quite get what it is she's rejecting, and also think she's looking for extreme, sort of didactic solutions to the basic challenges of being human.

      oc

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    12. i thought rand was against imosing force?

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    13. No, Rand was about imposing her will against reality. IOW, someone could accomplish something by force of will alone, by dint of inherent superiority and by ignoring any consideration but their goal.

      That's not real. Reality affects all of us. Reality isn't didactic.

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