For example, this:
She declares it "done".
Harking back to "Mexico 2010 - our swim with dolphins!" What she actually did was her half of this:
|At least it's not a Cartegena situation. Scott paid.|
They each showed the same poses, separately, in the "Mexico 2010 - Our Swim with Dolphins!" fb album.
Dolphin swims in Mexico are comme ca:
You don't precisely swim. A boat chugs you across a stretch of water to a dolphin "attraction" where the exhibit has been constructed by dredging and walling off some ocean - as well as pouring cement - to create a large enclosure, and you hire yourself one of the captive, trained dolphin prostitutes. To wit: "x" amount purchases a dolphin tow (you're hanging onto Flipper who does the actual swimming), "x" bucks for hand-to-flipper contact, there's a price point if you want petting included, and onwards to the kiss on the cheek and, if desired, the lips. IOW, pay up and the dolphin pretends to like you. The more "behaviors', from the behavior menu, the more expensive. These are kidnapped slave type dolphins (Damn Mother Nature for making it seem they're always smiling.).
These swims are called "programs" or "experiences" . You wear a life vest in water you can stand up in.
The photos are not Dominican photo shoot rates. It's $25.00 per. That explains why we didn't get "red-eye with dolphins!" "Scratch my head with dolphins!" "Avoid eye contact with dolphins!" "Soil my shirt front with dolphins!" and "Get drunk with dolphins!"**
This has also been knocked off the bucket list:
Well there you go. Her sham benefits have included knocking some high end items off her bucket list before she's even twenty-five, and all free. She could be retro-fitting her bucket list to add stuff she's already done but I do find a difference between the "pinterest" "Swim with dolphins" visual and the actual "here's your plastic bracelet and life jacket, over there for your dolphin tow, dolphin-clap, dolphin handshake, dolphin make-out photo opportunity" she experienced. I wonder if there's a way to translate the rest of Jess Dube pinterest bucket list per the dolphin example. I bet there is.
Moving along, I have been considering switching out the "Follow Jessica and Scott" slide show that lives below the front page of the blog and rotating it with a new one paying tribute to Bryce's traumatic journey per story and legend on figure skating message boards. The number of times the poor guy was humiliated when his ex-love and former bff mugged down in public right in front of his face, teammates, and interneting fans is almost too much for a sympathizer like myself to bear and that's before Jessica's facebook took to whacking him in the teeth with it by inviting new strangers in to watch as fast as she could click 'accept'. Then we have to factor in how Jessica, per message boards, played with both guys' heads (yes, that's what they said) and bounced between them at whim like a high school girl (that's how the message boards put it. You know, like high school girls do.). Boy, she must be very exciting. And I guess figure skating at an elite level stunts social growth. If only there were more girls in figure skating, Jessica couldn't have toyed with Bryce and Scott for so long. Or if only most of the few female figure skaters weren't nearly all virgins. But alas, it's a male sport, and the girls that participate are pure, so Jessica was able to bounce between both dudes and they couldn't do a damn thing to resist her. I'm going to illustrate Bryce's experience in a slide show, as I feel he's been neglected here.
To do this (it's not even close to being under way) - those Scott/Jessica facebook kisses are going to have to be repurposed to a fare thee well and back, and that layers feature is going to get a workout. When I get down to business, I find other challenges:
It's almost like she's considering cutting a bitch. Is that side-eye, or is she gonna give stiff-necked Scott the full Fusar-Poli if he doesn't tout de suite with some Scope?
*I love pinterest (well, not really, it's an embarrassing and almost too-easily snarked-on place to visit, although it's definitely useful as a virtual organizer/bulletin board for specific projects. Everybody loves pretty food, pretty clothes, pretty hair, dramatic and romantic travel, inspirational self-helpy quotes about the conventional milestones of life, flattering photographic lighting and, on pinterest, crafts. But, research is research.)
**It's a horrible life for dolphins
For anyone who finds the Scott and Jessica experience like it would be fun to try (the dolphin experience), the above link lays out why, in a non-PETA way, dolphin swim parks are a pretty cruel way to treat dolphins, particularly the attractions that make the dolphins run through a rote behavior menu many times a day for whomever has the money. And that's not even addressing that many are hunted in the wild and brought to concrete enclosures to live, all because we love them so much and they're so adorable. There's a gazillion articles such as the one above; awareness has been mainstreamed, although not everybody has heard. Still, when dolphin parks are mocked in popular novels by Carl Hiaison and Elmore Leonard, it's as middle-of-the-road, tree-hug category, as one can get.