Wednesday, October 29, 2014

ETA - want to show the following, accomplished with freeware that lacks photoshop's content aware and also lacked gimp's resynthesizer tool - tools that lets you select a piece of the background and replace part of the image (including parts of a person) with the tool's smart synthesis of the selected background.This is just liquifying and painting out, then altering aspect ratio so the image is horizontally compressed. Here's the original image:

Manipulation, below. Obviously, I've manipulated the hell out of the image, using the same sloppy paint job used on the Tessa/Ice Cream Co. picture bricks and background, but the proportions look more or less normal, even if the scale of the wall and window are a little dubious:

That's not good enough for Tessa, though. She does this:

Where it starts looking not that the woman actually is tall, but that she's a proportionately very long-limbed member of the Lollipop Guild. I could have pulled in the woman's waistline more, but I lack Tessa's perfectionism. When Tessa uses aspect ratio, not only are her vertical proportions distorted, but her horizontal proportions distort to where she loses her wide shoulder line, and her shoulders become narrow. I guess she could have had that simple leg extension procedure, plus a boob job and a head shrinking, but it's really difficult to narrow your scapula, clavicle and humerus surgically.

BTW, the resolution and saturation differences between the original and the manipulated versions are down to working on a smaller size copy of the original without realizing it, and having to enlarge it to match the original when posting it here. It didn't lose resolution/saturation via photoshopping it (actually, freeware).

The video linked in the comments section below, showing Scott and Tessa doing Post-Skate, obviously uses aspect ratio lens on Tessa's piece of it. Don't look at her, look at the what's on the sides and background.


Scott and Tessa gave a speech to the Ivey Business School the other day, and this tumblr:

Ivey Report

has a report. The report is regarded with stink-eye by some, because of stuff about how super duper teensy Tessa is, AND because, if Tessa and Scott said what they're reported to have said, they must certainly be confident everybody just loves them (even though part of their song and dance is nobody loves them but them), and must also be confident that nobody who counts will ever be inclined to rip off strips of their ass in public, even though, lord knows, they've set themselves up on the spit, lit the fire, and handed out forks. All some people are waiting for is an opening.

Oh, they'd probably love it. Have there ever been two people so cossetted, so coddled, so enabled, who simultanously love to posture as martyrs? Are they nailed to separate crosses, or do they share?

I'm not done reading, so the post on what they said will wait, and I'm pushing back another post to read this stuff. In the meantime, here's Tinkerbell Tessa and Barbie (same proportions, which proves Ice Cream Factory Co. Tessa wasn't manipulated) to host a new comments section, and in the meantime, this remark: boy, it's interesting when "being right" is the most important thing in someone's life. Even when they're wrong (meaning, even when the truth is they ARE lying). That's right,Tessa and Scott. You stake the next x number of decades on showing a bunch of figure skating fans, for whom every move you make reveals nothing but contempt - that you're right and nobody can make you whatever. You'll be the winners!

For reference, Barbie:


P.S. - read below that Lubova and Dylan got an international, and I'm delighted!

P.P.S. The below is unsurprising but still instructive and helps explain fsu, some figure skating fans, some Virtue and Moir fans, and some people in general.

When Dumb Feels Like Smart

Monday, October 20, 2014

Skate Canada, Give Dylan Moscovitch the money Scott and Tessa Declined

Dylan Moscovitch back in the game

This is Dylan Moscovitch and his new partner Lubov Iliushechkina, who was at last released from Russia. Considering what partner switches often look like for the dumped partner - a sad, hot mess - my expectations weren't high.Then there was Skate Canada's attitude, which is really the point of this post. I've actually wondered from time to time if Skate Canada had encouraged Kirsten to dump Dylan, been a factor there, because, last we heard from Mike Slipchuk about Dylan and the whole Russian Fed/Lubov situation, it sounded like: "The entire topic puts me to sleep, but if you want a quote, I don't give a shit if they keep Lubov or let her go."

After learning Lubov had been released, I checked her out over the weekend and switched to "Geez, I hope Dylan's been keeping in form!" Today, I saw the above.Well, well, well.

I know Dylan's thirty, but the 2010 Olympic male pairs champion was 36. I think Dylan can hobble along til 2018.

I'm doing this post cause it's a Skate Canada thing. I'd like Skate Canada to announce that some of the money Scott and Tessa "are entitled to" but "declined", because they so generously wanted it to be available for other skaters, can be freed up for Dylan Moscovitch now that he's found himself such a terrific partner, and they look so promising together.

I know it doesn't work exactly that way, but since Skate Canada played it like it does work that way, encouraging all of us to be: "Oh thank you for giving up those funds you're not eligible for, Scott and Tessa", perhaps we can play along, and point out that Dylan Moscovitch has the exact same resume as Kirsten Moore Towers. Any Federation's high performance director can look at the embedded video above, and assess that Iliushechkina/Moscovitch have top 16 potential. I think Mike Slipchuk also has eyes.

Would also like to mention that a figure skater can be nominated retroactively for funding in the current AAP cycle. How about it Mike? AAP has rules and regulations, but a close reading does suggest that they're not exactly a police state when it comes to oversight, and also suggests that a retroactive carding nomination is well within bounds.

The IFS article talks about how Dylan's funding went AWOL while his skating future was in question, which I believe is how it works per Sport Canada/AAP policy. Maybe, though, it doesn't work per AAP policy, and it's as Skate Canada explained it with Scott and Tessa - the honor system. While his partner status was in flux, Dylan graciously "declined" the funding he was entitled to so that other skaters could benefit. An honorable group, these Skate Canadian skaters.

Now Dylan needs to scrape together some funding. He and his partner are also hopeful that they'll get an international assignment this season, late though it is, and though Skate Canada would have to get off its ass a bit. I don't know, Dylan.You and Lubov aren't bad, but you're no Jessica Dube/Sebastien Wolfe, whom Skate Canada threw opportunity at back in 2011.

Jessica and Sebastien when they were merely a promising new pairing.
Do you think Dylan Moscovitch and Lubov Iliushechkina up there could be international calibre? Do you suppose Mike Slipchuk will step up and shake some opportunity from the assignment schedule, as well as funds from the money tree? Why ever not? How about it Mike?

I await Mike's explanation that a couple of lower ranked bobsledders have already jumped on the money so recently set free by Virtue/Moir/Chan, never mind Skate Canada's press release said "so other skaters" could benefit, and far be it from him to interfere. He's like that, Mike. Sits on his hands a lot.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

You DO know what perspective is, right?

The weird shit in this image? That's perspective. Nothing weird has been done to his right hip. Nothing fuzzy weird about his left hip. They match. Where they don't, it's just left to right perspective distortion, which is a thing you should know about.

Ever since they retired last season ended, the walls, grass, pictures, furniture, tables, frames and doors behind Tessa and Scott started melting. Look at that picture stretching in towards Scott. I think it's related to Tessa's touchdown dance door.

You know what I want to look at up close? The part of "Scott's pants" we see through the strap of his bag. It doesn't match the pants that are on the (our) left of the strap. That's the part that's been seriously warped, the part on the image's right, his left.

You see that TEENSY, skinny, tiny little right hip and wee, wee, emaciated right thigh? How Scott looks like some tiny dude who went on a roid overdose? He's got a waist that would make Scarlett O'Hara hiss with jealousy but it doesn't match his top parts. Look at that part of his pants right to the strap. Ridiculous. Then look THROUGH the strap. Totally different resolution/depth/texture than the (our) left side of the strap. Of course they've got all this shit going on left to right to with bags and straps, etc. to finesse the fact that their body parts don't match. Wonder what the rest of the space looks like before it was cropped. Everything nearby melting towards the core of the earth.

This would be a Moirville dream come true. Let's all look at Scot's crotch! Of course, looking at it when it's been warped to the size of a flea's might not be their dream scenario.

That picture hanging behind his right shoulder isn't warped at all. The Tanger Outlets bag he's holding isn't there to hide how extremely warped/liquified they made his body below the right shoulder. It's just perspective y'all. Close to the camera = bigger. Away from the camera = smaller. His upper body and lower body just decided to hang out in different zip codes here. His upper body got real close, his lower body went out back.

I do think that whoever did the job on this photo could have gone a little lighter on the make-up. He/she chose a nice color palette, just a little heavy with the application.

More to come as it seems as if it's going to be that kind of day.

P.S. just to help everybody learn how to see properly and stop being silly:

This pose:

I'd take note of where edges/outlines should be
and aren't. That's where they went in with the
touch-up, after the liquefy/warp.

is the same as this pose:

And that's how come Scott's proportions look weird.

Canadablue Chock/Bates v. Weaver/Poje at Nebelhorn split in two

Not only is the comments section of the original post filling up, but it should have been two posts to begin with. The original version keeps freezing/crashing whatever computer or laptop I'm on. I don't know if because it's so gif-heavy, or another reason, but I'm also splitting the post to see if it helps. Later on, in a new post, I'm going to look at iceprincess blog's articles, and I thought maybe (not 100% decided) look at parts of Paul Islam's progams to see what people think about the whole "grow their power" deal - if specific pieces of the choreography would present differently after their power and ice coverage developed. Parts of the short dance might help in looking at the free.


Weaver & Poje didn't even contend last Olympics, and I don't even think they're the most talented team currrently competing in Canada, but look at the sustained run of blade below compared to Davis White, even from Kaitlyn.

Below, we see Chock & Bates face to face, side to side, arms' length apart at the torso and skates, and if the woman is going to turn in "hold", it happens a yard away from her partner, while he puts his free foot down. She turns, he steps forward.

Chock Bates don't even attempt to skate close together.
Weaver & Poje obviously do, and succeed where their skills
and program mileage permit.There's no attempt at even the

 illusion from Chock & Bates, and no penalty for not doing it.

Oh look, Andrew keeps skating when supporting Kaitlyn's turn.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Nebelhorn: Canadablue compares Chock & Bates to Weaver & Poje

cuteiceprincess's articles will be next. This post took much longer than I anticipated, and I completely blame Chock & Bates, as explained more fully later on in this post.


In considering Chock & Bates, it seems to me that, along with, and because of, so much two footed skating, and faking-it-skating, they lack real performance energy.While few skaters will light up the building at a season's first competition, with Chock & Bates, there's little of the natural adrenalin we saw with the Shibs, or that builds in Weaver & Poje in those sections of their program where they find their rhythm and get their feet under them. Chock & Bates mime energy in the choreographic gestures they've been assigned, the arms, the faces, but from the hips down, they're flaccid. They're not building energy with their stroking; momentum is constantly thwarted. As with Davis White, Chock & Bates' programs are constucted to work around, rather than with, their medium (ice)

canadablue's Nebelhorn 2015 FD Comparison, W&P vis a vis Chock & Bates.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Let's look at Tessa's video a/k/a Horizontal Compression in Action

ETA, the popular video editing software I was trying to remember is Final Cut Pro. It runs on Mac OS.

Pause in prepping the skating post. This post is for the doubting Thomas in the comments section in the post below this one, who harrumphs that I suppose I'm going to say Tessa manipulated her instagram video too! As if such a thing can never EVER be.* There is no such thing as aspect ratio, there was no such thing as Britney Spears' digitally altered Work Bitch video  (Britney Spears was digitally elongated in her Work Bitch Video), and even if there were, Scott and Tessa are regular people who just happen to skate.They don't even have a reason to go downtown or to an airport unless a special person comes to visit. Scott and Tessa are not the sorts of people who'd know a single person with access to professional video manipulation tools, and even if they did, it's so TIME CONSUMING. If only the market were flooded with apps and software that could process video easily, be uploaded "likethat", it might be possible, but alas.

So fine.Tessa didn't manipulate this video. She did it standing in front of this super skinny door:

Warped doors and door frames are extremely popular with the celebrity crowd. The housing/shelter industry caters to them by coming out with lines of warped window frames, furniture, and accessories, too.This door was custom-built to follow Tessa's own shape - be just as wide as she is at the shoulders, and taper as she tapers lower down.

The molding detail on the door lightens and fades the higher up you go. So does Tessa's body and face.
The wall, door frame, and ... thermostat? light switch
warp in and up as Tessa lifts her shoulder. The
already low detail on the light switch flattens out
further as it warps with Tessa's movement.

It's well known that background never stays stable
in unmanipulated video when a figure is moving
in space.The stuff behind and next to them moves,
too. That's how we know nobody messed with it.
Also when she moves her right arm, the
entire right side of her shirt expands, like it's
attached with a short thread, and her right
leg goes with it, like pulling a puppet string.
Love a door with a waist.
 Oops, Tessa's midsection
is dissolving (same
thing happened in the ice bucket
Crazy to say there's distortion in this video.
These are her normal proportions. Deal with it. 
That's not a healthy size for a door.

Whoa - ghost boobs! Just like in
Paranormal Activity!
This little waif woman in the screen caps above, so long, thin, and so insubstantial she keeps depixelating, whose torso length keeps expanding and recoiling like a rubber band in that video, the girl with shrinking/expanding shoulders and wafer thighs, is the same lady seen here:
Editing - I think that guy behind Tessa is part vampire.
Only his feet cast a shadow.
And, ya know, even though this was taken a short
while ago,
before she and her door did a cleanse, and
some of those Flex classes (the door is
making progress, although I think is now
maybe too thin) - I could still side eye
the section
of sidewalk where the detail is blasted out
some strange reason, corresponding with
the fuzzy
outline of Tessa back end.
Let's look at the LetsBond image:

Show yourselves, Ghost Boobs! We
know you're there!
To the person in the previous comments section who asked about the weird black part on Eric Guay's face: if the photo editor used multiple layers (they usually do, although, as our skating journalists like to say, I'm not a technical expert) that could be a plant frond fragment from an earlier layer before they shrunk and warped everything behind the Guays and Tessa, including the plant fronds. Take a look at the extreme, mega warping of ... EVERYTHING in the background (the people by the lights, that gold framed thing above Tessa's head (mirror? Door? Other?), the plant fronds. Also, look at Tessa's long, long, ghostly, spaghetti-like left arm dangling below Karen Guay's elbow, and try to relate it in a way that makes proportional sense with the giant mega-hand on Eric's shoulder. Factor in perspective distortion and everything.That left arm looks like a snake dangling from a tree.The dress part of Tessa's neckline has been 'colored in' (color picker) - stays extremely flat and opaque and barely pixelates when you zoom. In general this image is a photoshop clusterfuck.

I can see the appeal of the camera setting/app/manip process Tessa used in the "football" video and the ice bucket challenge, but there's a LOT of distortion, and once you pay attention to the background, and how when something moves (like the movement of her elbow to the right suddenly expands her midsection width and jerks her leg over at the same time), that's the reason these videos kind of feel weird and make you almost seasick. The background isn't stable, the image isn't stable, period.
*I suspect this person is one of those fans who just thinks about the TIME it would take. First of all, exagerating the time, and second of all, just not able to process the thought that Scott and Tessa would spend ANY time doing this. As if Tessa's entire social media presence didn't exist in the first place to generate content like this.

P.S. Of course nobody is photoshopping Tessa:

All That Skate L.A.
P.P.S. I don't know what software or app they're using, because I'm not familiar with all the video software/settings out there. Tessa's video - the actual video images - are incredibly compressed horizontally. I think that might create the effect we see in that video that when she moves suddenly her entire vertical elongates bizarrely or bloats - the image has to have someplace to go and it's being compressed like a motherfucker on the sides. But again, not a techie or even good at it. There's tons of processes I don't know about. There is almost no detail in the video and I'm going to study the reasons for that at another time.

This iPhone app: videoslimmer app supposedly compresses video size (different from compressing the video images) and allows video customization (aspect ratio and other settings).

I took another look at the ice bucket challenge video and I realized what makes me seasick is the water. I think the horizontal compression in that video just leaves the impression the water is moving but not going anywhere. There's no feel of it moving across the frame and out of the frame.

Hey @5:39 (in the comments section):
can you come have a talk with these doors?:

"Does this corner make me look fat?"
P.P.P.S. - I looked at this:

Tessa's side has been pushed in (look at the reflection in the ice of the bracket next to her body, under her arm). It's bent parallel to the angle of her side. The actual bracket is straight. Look at the reflection of the one next to Scott. I'm going to check for noise by her hip and to see why the ice is SO blown out behind them.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

TIFF Revisited

It's like having a new toy:
I'm not saying it's photoshop,
but somebody vandalized the car's detailing and
left blurry smudge behind.
They got a bit of her hand, too. Just zoom. You can see the paintbrush smears.

Thinking they aspect ratio'd this to the vertical - not only does Tessa have
stilt-legs, so does Ryan (compare to others from this event, heels and all).

I don't know it's photoshop; I do know
there's stray pink pixels sticking out from
her dress, the edge looks like a jigsaw puzzle,
and there's noise all around the edge and none
anywhere on Ryan. (Noise is the degraded
resolution, lighter colored blur/pixel scatter that
hovers outside her silhouette in this picture. In
fact it looks pinkish.)
I think somebody stole parts of Tessa's ribcage up there.

Nice job, Canadian Marketing Association!

Thanks to the participant in a previous comments section who linked to the first photo below.

I must say Canada's marketing and communications community has just been showing its ass representing all over the place as models of professionalism, integrity and truthiness, going above and beyond for Tessa and Scott. Love Rose Schwartz's* Robyn Short's #Imstillshaking, and love when marketing gets meta - the actual marketing person is the face promoting the guests she's highlighting in connection with her event, and she even models the reaction required from us. Again with the OMG, Scott and Tessa are such huge stars you guys! meme they've been spamming us with all summer. We get that, right? So we should check ourselves. Just be grateful Scott and Tessa are out there at all, and don't ask questions.Who do we think we are. #bowdown

Here's Tessa at TWIINS, posing with Robyn Short, Marketing and Communications Coordinator at Toronto Rehab Foundation.Toronto Rehab put out a whole bunch of promotional materials for this event, but that's no reason to suspect Robyn Short is acquainted with any photo editing professionals.

Well, maybe "professional" is a stretch.

 This is how Tessa really looked last night.

Bad angle.

Bad angle plus crazy face.
ETA, thanks to a comment below, WTF:

What happened here is Tessa posed for the picture with Robyn Short, holding in the gut she'd acquired from sucking down whipping cream on National Coffee Day.Then she bolted for the liquor, hors d'oeuvres and carbonated beverages. She's got crazy face in the photo above because she feels self conscious about her lack of self-control, which was so extreme it bloated not just her midsection, but her boobs.

BTW - Tessa and Scott care a whole, whole lot that the first picture is clearly manipulated and she's looking pregnant as all get out in the other photos. And by that I mean, they care not at all.
*See Whoopie Goldberg's character in Soapdish.

P.S. Remember when the blog said Tessa could be projecting three feet in front, wear a belly shirt and paint a target on her abdomen, and everybody would pretend not to notice except for here? Maybe that gave Scott and Tessa ideas.