Come se dice in English? Happy Ano Nuevo!

The Hilaria Baldwin expose (The Streisand Effect) is lots of fun, but it's worth mentioning the details have been out there for a long time. Her former classmates have been fact checking her actual background on different forums for years. She apparently competed around Boston in Latin Dance competitions on school breaks (not soaking up Spanish authenticity in upscale, expat-dense Mallorca, where her parents didn't relocate until 2011.). People who knew her pre-NYC knew her as Hillary Hayward Thomas and her parents as affluent Boston professionals. Never knew her to employ a wobbly Spanish accent that doesn't in the least sound Mallorqui or Catalan.

Alec Baldwin waxed creepily white-knighish in her defense on his own social media but himself has been hyping the "my wife is from Spain" meme for years in interviews. I don't think he was catfished - he knew. An adorable, "exotic" "European" (I threw out my TV! Who ees Alejandro Baldwin? Haf some vegan soup! I don't like drama!") younger wife whose NYU attendance thus makes her "internationally" educated is a more marketable credential than a basic trust fund baby from Boston.

She can rename herself what she wants. OTOH, gambits such as claiming she's mistaken for the nanny when she's out with her kids ("We need to do better") while her WASP ancestry pre-dates the Mayflower and she grew up on Boston's Beacon Hill*, or using MLK day as a social media teaching moment about color by holding her spray-tanned arm against her daughter's pale one makes the concepts of offensive, entitled and audacity feel inadequate.

Her facade got blown up via her response to an Amy Schumer tweet in which she neglected to use her accent, prompting another twitter account to comment on her "decades long grift" pretending to be Spanish. The floodgates opened and twitter came with receipts. I don't know why that was the tipping point.

Tessa Virtue connection - Nivea sponsored Hilaria Baldwin's most recent miscarriage post (the one prior to the birth of her fifth child). So there's the standards. I didn't know the sponsored post game had gone that low.

Naturally, Hilaria has been hyping projects based on the importance of one's individual authenticity and comfort in one's own skin. Like other influencers we know.

Right wing publications like The Federalist love to take the foibles of virtue signaling left wing celebrity progressives to undermine progressive values, but these observations about the corrupt entertainment media are not wrong: 

Domenech and Jashinksy agree that the media’s role in attempting to defend the celebrity shows publications’ corruption and unwillingness to provide accurate coverage to their audiences. 

***

In the aughts, bloggers like Perez Hilton earned a lot of money and a lot of backlash for harsh coverage of celebrities. Some of that backlash was warranted. But now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction. Rather than treating celebrities neutrally, the entertainment media treats them reflexively as protagonists. (See: the early coverage of Jussie Smollett’s hoax.)

No surprise Hilaria's "defense" has been gaslighty, but people aren't having it. That's because the media isn't helping her, absent the predictable NY Times. I didn't think the media would go in this hard on Baldwin, but she's been wading in cultural appropriation waters for one, and for two, I don't believe the media actively knew differently about her. For three, once on the scent, acquiring receipts takes no effort - poof, here's her yearbook, the home where she grew up, a few quotes from former neighbors. Baldwin was able to perpetuate her scam for over a decade because the media just took what she said about her background on face value. 

That's not the case with Tessa and Scott and the Canadian entertainment media which has enthusiastically cooperated with Tessa and Scott's con for well over a decade. That's where the points made by (sadly) The Federalist hit their target. CTV, for example, captioned Jackie Mascarin as Scott Moir's "fiancee'" knowing he's married to Tessa. This decades long complicity will complicate any coverage of their actual status. But we can be sure of a tidal wave of straw men and gaslighting.

Think about a guy on stage with his wife at a hometown Hall of Fame ceremony announcing his engagement to another woman while his own mom stood by lending her "authenticity" and the majority of those present knew this for the scam it was but kept their mouths shut or were denied an outlet to report what they knew. This is the sort of thing the Canadian entertainment complex has promoted and enabled. Where does that fall on the spectrum of audacity?

*Not to mention her boob implants, obvious 00 clothing size, strategically sculpted face, microbladed eyebrows, excruciatingly toned, flexible physique and blinding white, even dentistry (all $$$$ indicators) would guarantee fellow upscale mommies understood she was no nanny no matter what accent she deployed makes her claim even more comical.

Or much less than she would if her brand weren't a massive lie

I won't be able to take a comfortable breath until December 14, when the electors in U.S. states gather to cast their votes for president-elect. Although November 7 was a good day. 

Then I can figure out what Scott is doing and what's up with the rest of the figure skating world. Other things consume most of my bandwidth recently.

For now, from the latest Trashcan - Tessa and Scott thread on Fsuniverse.

We're told over and over by Tessa's PR she's the most famous woman in Canada, and also by her PR that this isn't anything she's pursued (see the obligatory "strain on her beautiful face" descriptors). But then we see she's nothing but a basic influencer with an indiscriminate roster of brand partnerships and sponsors. My favorite sponsored post remains the day she dragged her beloved late Nana out of the archives to hype the impressive 100 care packages Nivea was dangling in front of a Canadian senior citizen population of 5.9 million. For sheer oblivious vapidity that one is hard to beat.*

I've said over and over her social media is inane, some of her choices of social media "friends" more than problematic (the toxic Jessica Mulroney) and Tessa's adverb abuse renders her content nonsensical and self-parody. But, I wonder if the degree to which she and Scott have dug themselves in, continually re-digging and then occasionally upping the ante with the worst, smirk-iest, most hypocritical and unfortunately characteristic juvenile "shock" tactics has created issues behind the scenes when it comes to bigger opportunities. 

It's easy to be cynical and figure there are no boundaries, that they will be eternally enabled. Entertainment media is all PR and transactional and it also controls the narrative, with a back up from paid social media posts. But recently I've considered that maybe, professionally speaking, they've been marginalized more than they expected because they've never sought a way out of a 13 year (and counting) public deception that everyone "privately" knows about.

I mean there's the deception but that's compounded by a component lack of judgment, and also the thuggish idiocy that tarnishes their wannabe brand and is an offshoot of their faux self-representation. And the gaslighting.

They seem to operate as moving targets both in their brand affiliations and in whatever interview or podcast they've done last, never really building anything. If they were a stable unit publicly, instead of creatures of complete expediency/short term thinkers, maybe they'd experience a more significant investment in their post competitive potential.

*Nivea is a portfolio brand owned by the German conglomerate Beirsdorf AG but 100 little care packages is all it could cough up. Or - this pitifully stingy little giveaway reflected where Tessa ranks with them in a hierarchy of influencers and she's not in a position to say no thanks. In fact, she was tasked with, embarrassingly, hyping it up.

Now what about the gays?

In the universe of Skate Canada, the Mohawk is now the C step and the Choctaw is now the S step, if my once-removed (fsuniverse.com) reading of Skate Canada's email is correct.

"This is part of "work[ing] toward the decolonizing of our terminology and align[ing] with our commitment to anti-racism.""

Skate Canada needs to commit to a whole bunch of other stuff while they're at it but I'm not holding my breath.

But as to this refreshed attitude, let's hope we never see another one of these (from 2015 or thereabouts)

I remember when I saw this. I wanted to die. At the same time, everything Bourne skates has this vibe.

(Yes she was a show skater at the time but I've always seen her as exactly Skate Canada's cup of tea.)
 

Best Picture

I've got nothing for September. This photo though continues to look more like an SNL parody of their nonsense than the thing itself. Scott's acting always comes across like someone who read about the emotion he's impersonating but never actually observed or felt it. Tessa just works the posture and the.pageant persona. Not where she started but that's where she's landed.

From the comments section (posting this one out of order)

There's a chip missing with the whole crowd. I think despite her gentle demeanor Tessa is as much of a thug as the Moirs. She has implacable willpower.The same tremendous  drive and will that got herself and Scott to the top is applied here. There's a need to win at all costs and this PR scheme is the playing field.  I think when I started this blog they didn't know what the blog knew or what additional information it would produce (like receipts) so they battened down the hatches. Then after awhile I think they saw the blog as just another outlet that brings them attention and validates their claim that they are besieged by their fans,

I mentioned that in the 2011-2012 season, when they were competing Funny Face, Scott and Tessa popped up with a skype out of nowhere, relating  their intention to walk around Paris experiencing/visiting Funny Face related locations. And maybe even take pictures, they smiled. I saw this and was like - incoming - this is a set up, here comes Jessica. They want butts in the seats.  I made a post, embedded the skype video and just said, heads up. Nobody alerted me to the game plan, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist.

After that post - no photos. Not of Scott and Tessa's hinted-at Funny Face day, not of Jessica/Scott. But a year or two later, here comes an image of Scott and Jessica with JESSICA attired (vertical stripes for God sake. I don't know why they held back on a beret) and posing a la Funny Face from back during the French Grand Prix showed up on the internet. Somebody else was taking the picture of Scott taking her picture. Now why would they do that? Funny Face was history. IMO it's because the blog called them out correctly during the set up, and they didn't want to show their ass, so they held off. But by GOD they were going to get their pictures out just for spite, even though they'd done a million other stings in the interim. That was just a you can't tell me what to do move.

Poor Jessica. The blog really dragged her back then.
Also, was the I.M. Pei Louvre Pyramid in
the  movie Funny Face? I don't recall.
Also, the angle of his phone.

Ryan Pyette is a London Free press reporter who has covered VM for eons. He  sometimes tries to treat them at arms' length and other times wades right in and is a straight up surrogate for their PR messaging. He did a piece on them that was ostensibly about their career or something but also made numerous references to Tessa's early friendship with the London junior boys hockey team. There was no rationale for this piece at all. And what was with the junior boys hockey team threaded throughout? Conspicuously repeating that Tessa, conspicuously not Scott and Tessa, had been friends with the team back then, but failing to explain why this had any relevance in the piece he'd just written. 

Again the blog was like - they are seeding the fans for a drop that Tessa had a London junior hockey player boyfriend, to mask the fact that even as a teen-ager Scott had always been her boyfriend (her only boyfriend). After I pointed this out, there was no follow up for years about the London Junior hockey team - it was just some weird random one-off from Pyette.

UNTIL a year or so ago suddenly Pyette does an article about Tessa's hockey player boyfriend when she was seventeen. They refuse to back off any of their bullshit. This was him finally putting out the story that had been intended for much earlier. Waste not, want not. I'm not trying to MAKE them back off- nothing can stop that compulsion. I'm just pointing it out, which I'm certainly entitled to do. But they don't want me to be "right" when it's pointed out, so they hold off. But then come back with it later cause nobody is the boss of them.

ETA the team in question is the London Knights.

Also, what's attracting the glances from the trio crossing the plaza and the woman in the background is the professional camera set up behind Scott. Not Scott and Jessica.

From the comments section (first set)

This can basically be skipped, but I wrote nearly two posts worth of comments in several post sections below and will just make them an actual post by compiling them here and probably a couple of other posts as there's a lot. At times obviously I'm answering somebody, but I think the question can be inferred from what I'm saying. I'm also going to clean up the typo and sentence construction mess.

Thanks for the question. When I first mentioned it, I think cancel culture. But now that you bring it up I believe in their circles too. My feeling isn't based on specific stuff I can identify. Right now it feel more like the "thin slicing" Malcolm Gladwell discusses in his book "Blink"  - how the subconscious processes info much faster than the conscious mind, producing a feeling, such as "We've got to get out of here!" My feeling has to do with cancel culture, the impact COVID has had on figure skating and the careers of skaters, and wondering about just how sick many people have become over how Scott and Tessa played this. The righteous streak particularly from Tessa is not a good look, but I also think she insulates herself from info she doesn't like, so she's behind the times. Based on a few things, I believe Scott has definitely seen this blog, and Skate Canada used to have its ISP parked here 24/7. But Tessa I think prefers to "curate" (influencer word) her information. In the past, if they'd have come clean, they had an in-place CYA with everyone in media and fellow celebrities on board. For years their PR teams had hammered home that legions of fans across the world were obsessed with them, had a boundary breaching fixation on them, and obviously they needed to "protect" themselves and their family and friends by erecting a zone of privacy. The blame would have landed on intrusive fans and the "delicate balance" VM needed to maintain between keeping up that wall and showing appreciation to their fans as elite figure skaters/touring professionals/brand ambassadors. Tessa spoke to this right as they were prepping their fan fictionalized reality show, which tells the mentality. 

 * 

Cont'd: Now the mainstream media lacks ability to control the narrative. I agree with you that there is a trend to denounce what is immoral. VM observers can't be bullied into compliance with: "They had to protect themselves from stalker fans!" or other tactics that project responsibility externally. And I do think there is a chance a public figure will spill too. When that happens, others will come in to verify and amplify. For those who are newer to this couple and think this is all some massive secret they have to maintain in their real lives, I'd refer to their rift story from their book "From childhood dream to gold". or whatever it was called. Published 2010...? The story went that when Tessa was operated on and recovering from chronic exertional compartment syndrome, she and Scott failed to keep in touch while she was recovering in London and he was training in Detroit, and they didn't speak for months. Or see each other. So that when she returned to the ice, the vibe between them stayed off and was not righted again until close to the Olympics. While claiming they were awkwardly estranged in the run-up to Vancouver, the reality is they got married directly after the first Grand Prix (TEB) in fall 2009. Every skater knew, every skating reporter knew or got up to speed in due course, and certainly Skate Canada knew. And many fans knew. Nobody came forward and contradicted this rift thing. 

That Scott and Tessa were often together after her surgery was in the public record. Their appearance in the broadcast booth at Skate America interviewed by Kurt Browning about Tessa's progress. Numerous joint appearances in London. Marianne Strong doing color commentary on a skating competition (the French couple who were using the same music from Pink Floyd as VM), discussing how Scott and Tessa spent her recovery in her apartment practicing facial expressions and everything they could to be prepped when she was ready to return to training (they were living together in London, obviously). The blog covered it, produced the youtubes, the articles, the interviews. Everybody just carried on pretending there had been a rift. To this day fans still talk about the "rift" and Scott and Tessa's tendency to not communicate, so there is willful self-deception here, which does not excuse VM. 

VM lie.They lie unnecessarily. I think what they're doing has now intersected with the wrong moment in the culture, the Mascarin thing was a blunder, and I think the tendency to find bros for Tessa to "date" is also short-sighted. I don't have a timeline (obviously), but I don't think it's going to be pretty when it does come out. For me, personally, I also think the several interviews Tessa has given where the article's slant is her fame is 100% organic and obsession with her has been tidal waving over them and you can see the strain on her face doesn't particularly sit well on a woman who signed onto the W network's "Tessa and Scott" that aired just weeks before Sochi. 

 * 

 That's what I think, and I also think their "bullshit" in general that may have been flagged as unimportant before (it's only fans and fans are sort of infantile, wrongly entitled and trigger happy) is getting a second look and people might be thinking there's actually a real issue here. Fans are like worms to most of the media (the media is very thin-skinned on any pushback from the likes of fans). With the Moir family overall - their style and demeanor when it comes to fans speaks for itself. 

Figure skating fans are a self-selecting group of women, the core of which is middle-aged. That demo has been bullied and shamed for years in general, and IMO that attitude has been internalized and makes that demographic sensitive, and prone to self-policing. Then there's the other skating demo which might skew to international, younger shippers who talk to each other and love to share theories. Because of gender bias and honestly class bias, the ham handed manipulation of fans may have been viewed as just what fans were asking for. I don't think that flies with how culture is currently trending. People are taking a second look at punching bag female-centered demographics, people are taking a second look at "You act that way so I was entitled to exploit it." and as you say, people have the time now. 

 * 

There's a cultural status gap and VM milk the hell out of it. The status gap lies in fans living vicariously through Virtue and Moir and projecting their romantic wish fulfillment upon them (or so goes the spin) so the label is they're sex starved females, they're living in a fantasy world, they prefer their fantasy world to reality, it's all very sympathetic yet for the real world Tessa and Scott, who are very busy, very famous, have money, are very important and connected, this interest in them from needy fans is a burden even as they appreciate and empathize. Or so goes the media slant (Promoted and disseminated by VM's pr.) Aren't they patient! Isn't it a lot! 

 VM are kneading and working and stirring this crap up seventeen ways from Sunday and have done so since time. Every shot at their fan base was free because their fan base is at the bottom of the status totem pole. I have never seen any other fan group self-recriminate the way skating fans beat themselves up when Virtue and Moir set them up and then detonate their hopes to hell.

At this point I want Scott to enact a marriage to Jackie Mascarin the way he enacted vacations with Jessica Dube, Kaitlyn Lawes and Cassandra Hilborn. DO it dude. If Ilderton won't throw open the doors of the community center, if your family clout won't get anyone to sign off on that photo shoot (although I feel a photo shoot has already been done and everybody is just waiting for the timing), get married on "the farm". Get married in Florida. Get those pictures. Make Jackie wear an appropriate second wedding dress with a doily looking veil. Get Morgan Reilly and his newly revived public profile to pose with Tessa on the sun parched field. Do it. Lay down your cards.

TBC next post

Maybe business isn't the best graduate degree right now

Saw this in tumblr; something about it gets near why I think Tessa and Scott's nonsense is going to have a head on collision with a cultural shift. We already know what Tessa thinks "business" is. She's half of a genuinely in love married couple with authentic chemistry whose core business strategy weaponizes that chemistry against their fan following. 

I really wish fans would rebel. Whether they believe the truth or not, I wish they'd stop critiquing stuff based on their speculation about Scott and Tessa's personal lives and notice how routinely they're jerked around.

Yikes

He had to have used this angle and that look intentionally but my lord.

After being reminded below, I don't think we're going to see ye old fake Ilderton wedding in the community center. I think Ilderton will take a pass on that photoshoot.

Whether they decide to go ahead and announce or pull the plug, the wedding photoshoot is in the bag. Maybe they did it in a sunny state while conducting other business since they really don't like the PR couple stuff to take up real time. I'll be looking at the guest list. People who might have been happy to "support" the whole charade as back in the old days with Jessica Dube might think two or twenty times before showing up as credibility value adds for this one.

I still have a feeling it's going to end. The "forced" part of my feeling isn't that they will be forced to come clean, but that even the media and some personalities in the sport will have reached their limit, there will be a cultural shift about what is ok and what isn't, somebody with a public profile will say something, and then the dam will break.

It would have been better if they'd done it awhile go when the narrative would have been controlled by them and the media to portray them as putting up a fence between themselves and obsessed fans.

These days, what the media does doesn't control the narrative. Once that someone breaks, there will be a break from the "obsessed fans" excuse and people will be dropping tweets about what they know.

Until then though, this is a victimless PR hoax so it's not like busting out and announcing Ellen DeGeneres is a terrible person and please share stories. That one was exposing someone who was doing harm. The "harm" here is more general - the contemptuous way fans have been treated and exploited defines two faced, the smarm, how very very very extra they have always been, far beyond what would be required to protect themselves, all has a power trip smell and a mean spirited streak. But it's not towards individual people, it's towards a group of people - fans and followers of figure skating and I guess shipper types. You can't get lower on the pecking order than those two groups in the eyes of many people in Scott and Tessa's level of fame.

Want to add some more to the comment about "They're risking exposure!" below. You know when Scott gets "engaged" to his first partner, five minutes later you google and there's a million articles saying "Scott Moir is engaged, but not to Tessa Virtue." How many news outlets personally covered the Hall of Fame engagement announcement in Ilderton? Those articles came from Virtue and Moir's "team" (pr people). Entertainment media relies on PR output for most of its content. They all received the headline, the angle, the talking points. Always one of them is how fans are obsessed with them.

And btw, considering their latest narrative, just because Scott (or Tessa's) name doesn't appear as a client with a rep they used to share and only one of them appears to be represented, doesn't mean they're no longer repping both. It's just the narrative.

Virtue and Moir themselves are behind the steady stream of articles about how fans just can't believe they're not in love. I've noticed "mystery" has entered the narrative. But the source is Virtue and Moir. They're the ones taking shipper culture and using it to brand themselves.  God forbid the fans get tired of it all and just let it be. They will again pump out PR articles about fan obsession.

Shipper culture is endemic on the internet. People ship them, people ship all kinds of performers and public figures in genres I've never heard of, they write reams of fan fiction. VM are Canadian figure skaters - there's not a lot of competition in their lane, particularly since they constantly stoke the fire. The constant flare-ups aren't a natural phenom; it's a cultivated phenom.

P.S.   I do think they blundered with this Jackie Mascarin thing. I believe the desire to troll and get a fresh faux girlfriend angle was irresistible and they did not take into account the MAGA stuff, which does not match with their brand. Scott has often presented himself as law and order (until apparently he was arrested once and disliked how he was treated), a by the book person. For people to think this translates to him being a MAGA type doesn't sync with their brand and Tessa's profile. OTOH maybe that was part of it. He's MAGA, she's woke - they can't be together! But that would be pretty disgusting.

I saw that in April Tessa tweeted in support of Scott suspending his account because people were critical of choices he'd made in his personal life. Honey, shut up. His personal life is you. You have marketed his virtual personal life to a fare thee well - yours a little, but his a lot. The entire reality show was built around it. Let's not get snotty because even when fans aren't in the know, they know things don't smell right. They aren't right. You have absolutely no right to be mad about it. That many people don't believe your lies or that they acknowledge something doesn't sit right is none of your business. If they end up down the wrong road that's on you and him. They constantly solicit reaction from fans, but Tessa wants to police the reaction? Sit down.

Instead of fake significant other I think from now on "virtual significant other" is more apt. V&M were early adapters of creating an alternative reality on social media that has nothing to do with their actual reality. But I think the tolerance for that is reaching the end of its string.

ETA back to Tessa. The audacity! Tessa and Scott used their Hall of Fame induction to execute the "First partner" engagement stunt for maximum reaction.  Fans react, but not as Tessa wishes. She gets pissy and Scott suspends his account. She climbs on a high horse for fans criticizing his "personal life" when she knows it's not his personal life, it's their engagement PR stunt gone awry with unforseen collateral issues. Does she blame herself and Scott for this thing backfiring? No. It's the fans!

The Company You Keep

Empowered to own her power - not just the girl in the red dress

So she's never going to pull her head out from up her hind end? At least not in public. This is the persona. Trust Tessa Virtue to carry on about her internal conflicts over winning her second Olympic gold medal. Very 2014 of her but Virtue Moir are not big on new material off the ice.

I was hunting for but cannot find another article I read from a year ago portraying Tessa as stressed (tension lines around her eyes!) from the (oxymoron alert) Canadian superstardom she has not pursued - it just keeps coming at her against her will. But never fear, she's polite and professional no matter how much she wishes it would all go away.

I'm not calling her out on the privilege of being a massively talented, classically beautiful three time Olympic medalist/two time gold medalist in ice dance (really three times gold if we counted the actual skating), accomplishments achieved with her husband and the father of her kids (well, in 2010 just her husband, in 2014 and 2018 the father of her kids) who bores everybody rigid naval gazing in public about her faux ambivalence afterwards.

I'm calling her out on her negging her own choices for the sake of some vacuous branding. This woman who constantly promotes herself a la every basic influencer and minor celebrity (though they pretend she's major) on the planet, dedicated herself heart and soul to something she passionately wanted (the 2018 Olympic gold). Once achieved, here comes the whining. She did the same with the "Is all I am a skater - I want a balanced life as a socialite!" shtick in the W Network's 2014's demented fan fiction "Tessa and Scott" and now she's doing "Is all I am the girl in the red dress." Her conflicts are so esoteric I have no idea what they accomplish for her in terms of business. People just end up sighing, "She's so beautiful."

What is the problem here? What else will people remember you for? Your scintillating interviews? Your neverending "Will we or won't we" with your own husband and baby daddy?

I compare Katia Gordeeva and Tessa Virtue because I believe they are similarly talented and obviously share other commonalities.  Katia Gordeeva won two Olympic golds by the time she was 22, but she has been an accomplished businesswoman in the decades since, earning a more than comfortable living and retaining a sufficiently high public profile. Do we ever hear Gordeeva bitching that she's mostly remembered for her matchless partnership with her husband, Sergei Grinkov, who has been deceased since 1995? No. Do you ever hear Katia Gordeeva complaining that she's mostly seen as a skater? No. She adores being a skater, as much as Tessa adores being a skater, it's in her blood as much as it is in Tessa's blood, and somehow she doesn't feel the need to make up shit about how that's a problem because there's other things she likes. Go ahead and do those things! You ARE doing those things. You get to do those things because you were the girl in the red dress and before that the pink dress and before that the white dress, and those moments in your career are responsible for your opportunities today. Come up with better problems other than this solipsistic garbage. Besides, that is rude to your fans. Maybe that's a value add to her. They really love to gaslight fans with the push/pull.

For the fans who love and rewatch that performance as all great performances are loved and rewatched, who were, as fans, ecstatic for themselves and for Virtue and Moir, it's a sour note. Oh, the skater herself is over it and doesn't even relate anymore.

No, she doesn't have to be Katia but as they share many of the same factors vis a vis the public, their resumes, their beauty, the preoccupation of much of the public with their respective love stories, and their skating, the difference between how one handled it - like an adult - and the other handled it - like a control freak only also like a cossetted, insulated, blinkered and sheltered dimwit - are instructive. IMO.

This Hamlet routine is stupid. She's making bank off her looks and fame by collaborating with beauty and fashion brands who, from time to time, partner with some socially conscious initiative and that's the whole nut. It's not that serious. If she were going to be fulfilled by doing something other than being"The Girl in the Red Dress" she'd do it. Instead it's an MBA in business she's going after so she can make even more bank off her looks and fame by collaborating with more beauty and fashion brands who ambulance chase the latest cause and recruit their influencers and brand faces to buzzword the hell out of it. That is all the thought and investment that goes into it.

****

I don't know how transactional Tessa Virtue's friendship with Jessica Mulroney has been but it's something I've always side eyed, mostly because of the terror that Tessa would incrementally transform her beautiful self into an injected, be-fillered, fake-tanned, inflated frozen mess, destroying her looks before age 35. I was dreading inchworm Joker lips stretched ear to ear, as even some of her current images evoke that aesthetic. Perfectionists have been known to be dysmorphic, and there's a little bit of a disconnect between Tessa's social media messaging of "you are enough" "Blah blah makes you unique" "empower" "feminist" - and her super filtered images. Even her "Look ma, no make-up! posts (in her case it's no eyebrows and pale lashes and freckles and some super self-consciously adorkable attire) are filtered into glowed up holograms. When a woman as beautiful as she is constantly puts out images of herself that look the way Tina Fey described the aesthetic - "a blank white paper plate with eyes and lips painted on", the empowerment rap rings hollow.

Anyway, Jessica Mulroney has been cancelled. Her bride show is over, her collaboration with Smash & Tess is over

Mulroney and Tessa for
Smash & Tess

There's pictures on social media of Mulroney behind the scenes at an arena and Tessa interacting with her young daughter, and images of Mulroney, Tessa and others in a grouping with Mulroney looping her arm through Tessa's leg.

Jessica Mulroney was known to be a piece of work so I did at times wonder about Tessa's public affiliation with her. Did she not pay attention to how Jessica Mulroney handled other people? Did it only matter how she kissed Tessa's behind?  Remember when Jian Ghomeshi, another Canadian public personality with a problematic reputation behind the scenes long before he was publicly outed? And his flirtatious drive-by in the W Networks's "Tessa and Scott"? Why "empower" these people?

Here's what Mulroney did. Behind the scenes, she threatened an influencer, Sarah Exeter, less well known than she, a social media "friend", a black woman, from discussing Black Lives Matter. Exeter had made the most generic imaginable post of of BLM support. Mulroney DM'd her to quit it or she'd speak to Exeter's brand partners and end her career. After making one of those "I'm backing off from social media to reflect" moves, she went to Exeter's DMs and threatened her with a "liable" suit, which is just embarrassing. Come on lady. Even with a few glasses of wine in you, it's not a difficult word to spell. If you know the word to begin with.

I don't know Tessa, maybe it's time to have more than a "difficult conversation" (seriously?) about the "idea" (the IDEA???) of privilege, but what I really think is you are superficially well-intentioned but not well-informed, not even in your semantics.

Part of Mulroney's apology:

"You are right when you say 'this s— needs to stop,' " Mulroney said. "As leaders, we need to join hands and call out wrongs. I know we have different experiences. And that is something that, even in the course of a heated argument, I need to acknowledge and understand. I am unequivocally sorry for not doing that with you, and for any hurt I caused."

Yeah. What the hell is Mulroney a leader of?

More Exeter:

"Listen, I'm by no means calling Jess a racist, but what I will say is this: she is very well aware of her wealth, her perceived power and privilege because of the color of her skin," Exeter continued, adding that these aforementioned traits gave Mulroney the "confidence to come for my livelihood in writing."

How do you hang with someone who weaponizes privilege as Mulroney does but you remain oblivious? Someone who, when she issues a threat, undermines the whole thing because she can't spell? She's not benign, she's terrible. Even the bits that can be seen of her instagram, she's TERRIBLE.

At some point having it both ways - existing inside a protected little bubble of you, your husband, your kids and whatever else resides inside there is irresponsible when you insist on living a public life and profiting from a public life and engaging in public life by lining yourself up with a progressive profile, promoting (buzzword alert) authenticity, AND feeding a completely phony narrative about yourself.

Tessa and Scott's kids will never go hungry, will have their education paid for, and will live comfortably, materially, all of their lives, and none of that is due to Scott and Tessa's lies. So, in a way, they're hiding behind their own family to camouflage their immaturity, snobbery, cowardice and exploitation.

There are no excuses. IMO she should withdraw from her little messaging sideline of empowerment and just do her sponsorship and branding tie ins, and own that neither she nor Scott are interested in becoming adults, and prefer the business model they've had all their lives - other people map it out for them, do the screening and vetting for them, and they have input on areas of concern but don't own their shit.

Very much looking forward to Scott's "wedding" this summer, as Tessa will bring her "Bfriend". I envision a classic facebook skater wedding throwback - a local hall/cafeteria, familiar Moirs, potluck, solo cups, nobody from their competitive career. All of it photographed at some convenient point this past February.

 I don't think even Max Trankov could stone his way up to attend this one.

P.S. I used to think this could go on as long as Virtue and Moir wanted it to, which at this time, more than ten years on, appears indefinitely. But I think tides and times are against them, and there's going to be a breakout at some point against all social media garbage. And it won't come from the media, but through their own bad judgment.

We're all in this together

Tessa Virtue's social media is just so crappy. Scrub off the pretty face and sweet demeanor and we've got a woman positioning her deceased grandma and COVID19 to market Nivea's anemic oldster care promotional scheme. If Gran were alive, how would Tessa & Co. be helping "Nonee" navigate COVID, wonders our heroine. How about you? Any venerable relatives still kicking? Then why not nominate your elderly loved one at the link in Tessa's bio and they just might receive one of Nivea's 100 care packages it is distributing across all Canada. You read that right  - 100 - throughout all of Canada. Get to nominating. But while you're at it maybe hit the local Rexall's for some hand cream and scented lotion as the odds seem steep. How many seniors does Canada have? 4.8 million. Nivea, take a seat.

The still-not-officially-retired Maia and Alex Shibutani raised 30k for first responder PPE. They go-funded it and kicked in 1k each. So extra. They should have just assembled a hefty marketing contact list compiled from thousands of fan email addresses and demographic particulars, held a raffle, distributed five N95 face masks across Michigan's health care worker population and called it doing their part. Anybody dead in their family work in health care? There are tie ins if you look for them!

I kept backtracking to be sure it wasn't 1,000, surely (still pitiful). 10,000? Nope. 100. For that Tessa pulled this up from the archives.

Stop selling Nonee for cheap Tessa.

Virtue Signalling

This must have been a blog heading a bunch of times before, but it's always apt. Obviously also low hanging fruit, but nevertheless.

Screen shot of Katia Gordeeva working out
while in quarantine. She doesn't
always get the video framing right. I can
relate.

Per instagram Gordeeva practices her skating program on the living room carpet and figure skates down an ice coated hill. No humble bragging - she's sharing some of her life and it all looks fairly amateur with no enhancement features on. Her social media is not full of "positivity." It's full of gratitude, encouragement and support. None of it looks like product.

More than anything else and even now, she's a figure skater and works her ass off to remain one.

It's compelling to watch someone who was once such a guarded personality even before the trauma of early widowhood be so open, so appropriately, on social media. She's just being social on social media. She's not prostituting her private life, She maintains natural boundaries.

I know I'm practically a stan, but I'm so impressed by Gordeeva. Nobody had more of a right to lie her ass off and manipulate the shit out of her enormous and obsessive fan following. For years she was stalked (it's archived on an old usenet forum as well as fan forums - fans would go to her rink in Connecticut, hang out, watch and follow her, then come back and report). After Sergei Grinkov's death, fans were obsessed with her dating life. In the way of figure skating fans, many hoped she'd marry a comforting, companionable sort of sexless dude so they wouldn't have to think of her being attracted to a man other than her late husband. Somebody attractive was by many considered a betrayal.

She was by all accounts a dream to work with but fan-wise she was a closed book. She was also raising her younger child and her fatherless older daughter. She kept her mouth shut - she's the poster child for never complain, never explain. Dave Lease (Skating Lesson) once wrote an account of her at a sponsor meet and greet and remarked, "She was beginning to not understand English." which was one of the few times he's ever been truly on point and cracked me up.

Never complain, never explain is a psychologically sound approach for people in public life looking to keep their private life private. It's "Let them talk." It works. It's the opposite of being a control freak and it also limits the shelf life of people's obsession with you. Gordeeva did that, and then at some point decided she wanted to live proactively as a public figure instead of guardedly and reactively, and of course she's brilliant at it.

****
I feel if they'd been more famous, V&M would have said yes to this in a second.

The infamous "Imagine" celebrity circle jerk.
This facial expression alone.
There are some great parodies.
A fave is Nicole (Derry Girls) Coughlin's.

For anyone familiar with astrology they'd know that Scott Moir is practically the avatar of a Virgo and Tessa is classic Taurus - creature comforts, loves sleep, loves food. And stubborn. When they're dug in, they keep digging.

I haven't read this about them, but to me a Taurus woman is as clutch as it gets. Tessa has been in three Olympics and delivered perfect, and absolutely full on  performances each time. No other Olympic skater or team has done that. Her commitment in the crunch is absolute. Not every performer or public personality has her talent, but most Taurus women seem to be notably all in even if the building is burning down around them. Cheryl Burke - a DWTs dancer - could break two limbs in performance and you'd need a stun gun to get her to quit or drop her game face. Queen Elizabeth is another Taurus. Tina Fey - I wax hot and cold on her lately but she's got that laser focus. There wasn't a shadow of nerves in the two live performances of 30 Rock. Indistinguishable from the filmed show, while allowing for the rhythms of having an audience. I think Taurus women are the least likely type to ever ever choke when the stakes are highest. But there's a flip side.

She has the Taurus total commitment when engaged in her job, but Queen Elizabeth was famously stubborn during the whole Diana's death debacle. Yes, the public reaction approached mass hysteria, no, the flag didn't need to be at half mast, sure, it made sense to keep Diana's sons in the country versus taking them to London to experience the frenzy. But. Some common sense. There was ambiguity in Diana's status - she wasn't just an ex. She lived on crown property, and was mother of the next heir. Something about Her Maj's stubbornness short-circuited her emotional and practical intelligence. I'e read there was a come to Jesus to get her to bend, and it got ugly.

***
Tessa and Scott surely have various rationales to keep this going, but it's plain reverse engineering by now. No narrative they could produce would stand up to even casual interrogation, but they don't need to be concerned. Any rationale would be accepted on face value by the only media that covers them - the entertainment media. They could go all out. Kidnap threats, nervous breakdowns, stalkers - anything at all. Could contradict themselves seven times over in in one go and nobody would point it out.

I do think in this instant Tessa's stubbornness is a cloak for being chickenshit. That's all it is. She's hiding behind her CV.

 Courage as a human being is a more impressive accomplishment than spectacular performances on Olympic ice. A human being is an integrated entity. You can't have integrity "here" and be a smarmy manipulator "there" and still have integrity. You can't blithely appropriate a global respiratory pandemic to lend some manufactured credibility to your ten years and counting fauxmance scam while rah rahing front line workers and local businesses, and still be a genuine person.

What entitlement looks like.

And I don't know how grown a man can be if his sense of humor, common decency and self-respect has regressed since 5th grade. Scott's current faux girlfriend is just a calculated trigger. They couldn't resist the "partner" joke aimed at inciting distress in what they consider a low-information audience. It's small.

I've said before I think they believe all their public niceness and faux earnestness and courtesy and politeness somehow sanitizes their lying and the really malicious streak that's always been an unsettling facet. But it's the opposite.

While Virtue and Moir and Gordeeva Grinkov have been compared endlessly, when it comes to integrity, authentic strength, genuine courage and living out what you say you believe, they're a universe apart.

Double wedding

So SOP - and still cringe-making - when Virtue and Moir get shameless, they turn on the earnestness. Here, they're exploiting a real life catastrophe to reinforce their gaslighting.

I often get the vibe that they believe if they're 65% sincere ("In many ways, we're just like you. We feel your pain and wish everybody well and are so so appreciative.") it mitigates the 35% percent manipulation and lying (i.e., the faux factual parts of everything they say and present). So, that ratio means they're genuine for the most part, right?

But the 65/35 tactic is 101 in the playbook of every narcissist out there (check out the famous East of Eden description of its amoral villainess, Cathy). The 65% sincere is just the poison pill that gets you to swallow the garbage. Narcs have been on trend for a decade, in part, I believe, because PR entities have employed narc tactics in service of their clients. Tessa and Scott were early adapters.



I think this situation up here is just a narrative extender - similar to how Marina Zoueva used to extend the impact of required elements with music and dynamic choreographic embellishment before and after. Morgan Rielly and Tessa help buy some time before fans start wondering when Scott and his lovely fiancee' will tie the knot already.

Extracting a quote from a Buzzfeed piece I'm linking just below it:

One firm promised to “use every tool and take every advantage available in order to change reality according to our client's wishes."

buzzfeed alternative reality

Buzzfeed is U.S. celebrity-adjacent, needs the same access and to receive the same press releases everybody else gets, so it's decided to focus on how Chinese PR and digital companies create alternate realities for its clients. Which is to say, the U.S. (and Canada) do the same thing but it's better to come at it from the China angle rather than be blacklisted. Of course the U.S. and Canada would never condone such practices and in fact have probably never even heard of them until Buzzfeed got them up to speed.

It's all normalized now, which means it's moral.

Skating:

Scott. If he'd squatted and done this on two
feet, maybe he and Tessa would have
won the free dance.

At least Tessa Now Has a Plus One to Her Husband's Wedding

The lucky guy is the on on the right.

Always of note that when Scott has a fauxmance, we must prove it with smiley huggy, kissy smoochy vacationy social media drops suggesting privacy and alone time. When Tessa has a fauxmance, her entire family of origin (as opposed to her family with Scott) is her bodyguard or there's a visible wingman/wingwoman/wingpeople as above, or it's a public event. Has Tessa ever held hands with a fauxbeau for our viewing edification? Tentpoled her way across the gap between their torsos to gingerly touch lips? Done a social media dump so we can see the evidence?

Why the double standard. Tessa needs to step up.

A few years ago I read The Big Short, a successful quasi-comic story centering on the precarious (as it turned out) housing bubble of the mid-0s. What stayed with me was learning that terms for financial products are intentionally obscure. The name of an investment term is not going to tell you what it means - it may mean the opposite or have no relation to the name.

There may be a facile, quasi-legitimate explanation for this custom but obviously the natural supposition is to assume banks and investment companies want a barrier between their understanding and the client's ability to understand what's being done with their money.

Here an aggrieved Papadakis & Cizeron fan on youtube weighs in on the results at Europeans:

Word salad matching the floaty. metronomic incoherence of Papadakis & Cizeron's out of sync, lowered center of gravity, all hands on deck, two-footed mish mash of skating skills.

Confident fans of this stripe still exist because while figure skating has rules, codes, definitions, and criteria, not only have these been dumbed down and not only has wiggle room been built in and not only are what rules and criteria still exist often ignored in the scores, but the figure skating markets itself as performance, not sport, and its participants as emotional and theatrical performers, not athletes.

****

Checked in on Virtue and Moir and could only find lots of stuff like this:



and this



Here a glossy Tessa once again delivers the same painfully anodyne point she's been recycling for a decade. The importance of using her "voice" to empower (retire that word! Retire that fucking word!) and inspire girls. Cautioning how the sport puts so much emphasis on aesthetics. Tessa, the greatest ice dancer of all time, has had a post-Olympic career with an explicit and implicit focus on how beautiful she is no matter what's coming out of her mouth. Well, beautiful AND adorable because one wants to be accessible. relatable. I wonder if when she delivers copy like this for the hundred millionth time if she ever wants to bash her own head in. Our takeaway here is she wants girls to know it's important for even female athletes to be fit. Good Christ. Two Olympic golds and that's what she's got for us.

Needless to say she's embodying a classic contradiction between words, the format in which they're conveyed, and an immaculately enhanced appearance (in what is already a conventionally beautiful woman).

Although she's speaking softly and earnestly, the overall message is more this (From Crazy Ex Girlfriend):