Thursday, April 20, 2017

Checking in



In deference to the blog's origins, I keep tabs on her:

Jessica Dube instagram a bit over
3 months ago.
"Montreal, see you in 7 months."
She's off to the Caribbean,
Mediterranean and Baltic!

Then the usual:



Then -

This poor dog. What a one-way street.
Why is she home and sad when she's supposed to have four more months cruising crystal clear waters? What "gray days"? - it's spring! (Ok  - it's a spring that looks a lot like early February, but still).

With the charitable spirit that consistently infuses me when I contemplate Jessica Dube, I googled:

How to Get Fired from a Cruise Ship

Why not get familiar with things Royal Caribbean so as to better speculate why she's landlubbing it in Montreal four months ahead of schedule.

However I learned that, along with the fact that there are countless  "How I got fired from my cruise ship job" pieces out there, cruise ships are hives of personal and corporate politics - exploitative, back-stabbing, treacherous laws unto themselves sans accountability, and everyone is constantly under video surveillance. It's Orange is the New Black with puka shells. You could get fired for breaking a rule or because somebody in better with your supervisor didn't like you. Somebody drunk could fire you for being drunk. There are a million reasons you could get fired, including any reason and no reason.

Perhaps Jessica thought that since she had remained a favorite of the Canadian figure skating fed despite habitually underachieving, her lucky star would continue to shine on her in an enormous, even more unstable, unfair, money-obsessed, everybody out for themselves universe.

I also read that not many Americans work on cruise ships because they won't put up with the pay/hours ratio (one is low, the other can be basically around the clock). One American earned more than her supervisor because the cruise ship rationalized something about what the dollar was worth in the U.S. versus in her supervisor's country of origin. So it's also possible that, based on her resume, Jessica negotiated a slightly larger salary than they usually pay figure skaters, and midway through this third stint, somebody asked "Why the fuck are we paying her again? Who is she? Get rid of her!" and somebody cheaper and more clever took over the Carmen on ice or Santana girl costume.

I was hoping there were only a few major reasons to get fired, but the big, obvious reasons - hooking up with a passenger, failing to show up for all aboard, being late to wherever you're supposed to be (and "late" is not a hand wave - you clock in on cards), being really drunk and failing a BAC test - are just the fun reasons among many reasons.

So now I will keep an eye peeled for Jessica's next career adventure  - which could be on another cruise line, just not on - according to what I've read - another of Royal Caribbean's bazillion boats. But I hope not. I'm ready for something new. And I want to see Bella get some therapy for abandonment trauma. It's like abuse. Gimme the love! Here's my baby! Then - bam - bye! See you when I see you! It's a dog. It's not good for her.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

What's with the one-way street?

"It's just so amazing to be in the conversation with the French team.
We knew they'd bring it; they have an unsurpassed magic unique
to the ice dance experience; they're incredible, amazing,
we had our work cut out for us. We know we're basically
unworthy to stand higher on the podium than they stand. We know
we're forbidden to do more difficult things than the other teams, but we
are still allowed to do stuff BETTER than the other teams,
and so far it's worked, but today was a close call what with Scott's little 

glitch, because nobody is allowed to admit we're still better
even if he'd glitched six or seven times. So it was awkward.
No excuses, but Scott's eyes may have been temporarily
blinded by the dazzling aura lingering in the arena
after the French free - I think their skin glitters more than 
Edward Cullen. 
The sound of their blades on the ice is mesmerizing, even though
it's better if blades are quiet, although who remembers that one,
it's just like when Davis White scampered over the ice without
touching it people said it was a good thing. Anyhow, I hope we
can hold on til next year, it's gonna be tough with the Frenchies.

I hope you guys don't mind that we won.
It's all been worked out ahead of time, and if you knew what skating

skills look like, you'd know we deserve it with our skating, but we can't 
say that. Just have some French champagne and notice how it can't even
approximate the soulful effervescence of the French ice dancers."

Then:

"We just went out there and magicked it up. There is no secret,
it's just the intensity and the unshakeable unit of we-ness that starts to flow

 between Gabby and me. Although, technically speaking, the secret could
be the complete absence of upper body tension even when
our actual edges and the skating itself is pedestrian. Are we the first
ice dancers to figure that out? What took so long? Just let that hair
flow, keep the facial expression serenely ecstatic and the arms and

back limply undulating like damp home made pasta drying in the breeze. 
If imperfect skating technique doesn't trouble you, it won't bother the judges. 
Most ice dancers are perfectionists - when something bad happens, usually 
someone's face freezes for an instant. Not us. We're bohemian. Free spirits. 
We skate with our soul. We notice nothing of our skates.
This is not tears of disappointment in Gabby's huge eyes, nor suffering 
in the lines of my face at possible, mystifying, unwarranted injustice. 
Next season we go back to our comfort zone stuff and hope/expect the judges 
will just hand that gold medal over. If things are fair, of course.
Gabby and I had the Worlds of our dreams here in Helsinki 
- if you want to say the result was clearly wrong fine, I won't say it but 
you can say it. We don't know what was in the judges' mind."
I didn't get to really see Worlds until after Worlds, but I was able to see pieces of the news from Worlds. Now that I've seen it, particularly the clip above of Virtue and Moir, I like to think Scott is torn between feeling a bit abashed that he erred in the free dance, and wanting to say that they're at least 10 splats better than the French, and so are a whole bunch of other teams he could name. Get real, this pretense is wearing on him.

And I want to know how come the deal is that Virtue and Moir kiss nonstop Papadakis Cizeron ass but PC pay lip service to Virtue and Moir if they say anything at all. I mean, why would they not win? Is it possible there are other teams of quality at this competition? Non non.

It's the song of me with them. Are Virtue and Moir going to have to pay and pay and pay forever for being as good as they are? It's been going on for three Olympic cycles. Oh well, God knows they dish it out enough off the ice, and I guess it's just one big circle.

Pairs:


To me this is the judges saying to Duhamel Radford - when your tricks aren't there, your skating isn't much. But to Ilyushechkina Moscovitch - eh, the tricks... but oh the skating!! (And save the jumps, the tricks were lovely). Still, would never have dreamed any scenario would place them above Duhamel Radford. Dylan is now about where he was when he and KMT split. KMT is watching at home. Maybe if he and KMT had stayed a team, they'd be on the podium, but watching KMT's approach to her skating in her new partnership, I don't think so.

And

I wanted him to win again, but I had a feeling what
happened would happen after he won the short.
He's one of those who is better from behind.

I wonder if Patrick Chan ever tires of explaining himself to us or even to himself. For awhile there, a few years ago, he was the guy he was always touted to become, and now he's back to being that 2009-2010 dude whose talking about it game is way stronger than his doing it game. I know other performers like that.

Finally:

5th in the short?
WTF.