Wednesday, March 30, 2016

I can't stand it

I'm not shaking my fist at the sky; the Shibs are in striking distance, but these were feeble twizzles, some seriously shallow edges by Gabriella, slow, and a lot of taking turns skating. It's the skating I can't stand, and the pretense that this slow-mo soporific is any good. Yes, it's very limpid. Good for them, nothing to do with skating. I can't stand them. I'd rather see bad skating than this. The program is dire. And it just fills me with anticipation about the sort of sleep aid Dubreil Lauzon will produce for VM next season.

I read on Goldenskate that Tatiana Tarasova said Papadakis & Cizeron are nothing special when you see them practice, but in performance something else happens. What happens? How does that work? They're bleh skaters on practice ice, but suddenly acquire a tour de force technique when it's time to do their program for the judges? This is drivel. If Virtue and Moir have to fight them for the podium next year, it will be unbearable.

I've yet to see Weaver & Poje's program - I don't watch anything live - but following along on Goldenskate, several expected them to take the lead only to have them scored well behind.** Glad to see Angelika Krylova's burnt offering to the ISU - calling Tessa Virtue fat - paid such great dividends. I'm going to fill in with a gif of fat Tessa/Scott struggling to lift Fat Tessa* from 2013-14 as soon as the new computer is loaded with the apps from my on-life support old computer. I've been working with a chromebook for most of this past weekend and week and just got my real laptop back, or rather, new laptop as the old one was euthanized, or will be as soon as its contents are salvaged/transferred to this one.

**Not too early to start in with the conspiracy theories. Here's a hopeful one: two Canadian teams - Weaver & Poje and, one suspects, Duhamel & Radford, have been thrown under the bus. Both have been overrated, overscored, but they're not skating any worse than they've skated in the past. Has Skate Canada struck a bargain - decided its podium allotment will be Virtue and Moir, and cleared the decks for skaters from other countries in the other disciplines? That would be nice.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Look Back in Anger

Worlds is up next week, and with it, the last non-Virtue and Moir season until the Olympics. I haven't watched Vritue and Moir's competitive programs in a long time, because when I watch them skate, the anger over the travesty of their 2012-2013/2013-2014 season has just intensified, instead of dissipated with time. The more one looks back, the worse it becomes.

Not long ago, reading one of the skating boards, one of the geniuses over there mentioned how VM's "Carmen" is no longer that impressive two years out, demonstrating again that the most skating-ignorant fans are found on skating forums.

I'm second to none in my adoration of the Shibutanis. Everyone recognizes that their Coldplay free dance is, finally, their career maker*, and I'm rooting madly for them to win Worlds. Yet, put it up against Carmen - not the PROGRAM - the skating - and Virtue and Moir remain in a different universe. Look at what won Worlds last year, and ice dance is farcical. Like everyone else, I hope the powers that be have signaled to Virtue and Moir that they're welcome back and will not get ratfucked this time around. The idea of listening to Tanith Belbin explaining how Virtue and Moir's short program is not quite clicking, while Papadakis and Cizeron have once again found the magic formula will finish me off. Her insufferable inanities during the Shibutanis winning skate at U.S. Nationals prompted at least three fans to create no-commentary videos on youtube, and that's with a team she praised.

Here is Carmen from the 2013 Canadian Championships - and remember how it was scored by their own judges:

Shibutanis, 2016 National Championships (Tanith-free).

and finally, the World Championship gold-medal awarded skate of 2015:

*The Shibs have been the best pretty much since 2014, but Fix You was the program that, I believe, made it evident to the public, got them excited, and pissed them off when it was underscored. Carmen was the same way, but there's not the same massive machine promoting any of the Shibutanis' competitors that promoted Davis and White, making fans think maybe they're missing something or ice dance is too nuanced for anyone but judges to understand.