Thursday, April 26, 2012

Toute La Famille

Oh how pro$persous Jessica becomes in expensive locations where Scott and Tesssa are competing.This is a woman who will recycle a costume (like her red strapless one) into the ground when there's no Scott connection - a woman who lodges in an economy hotel in off-season Paris when she's on a girls' trip  -  yet she can ship the whole family minus Veronique (presumably) to the ever so budget-friendly south of France for Worlds when Virtue and Moir are also present.

Jessica is not paying for this herself and neither is her family. I don't think I'm going out on a limb with this. And it ain't Scott.

I look forward to seeing la famille Dube' on film. All those Moirs - cousins included. And three auxillary Dubes! Why on film, it will look just like a gathering of skater families while to skating fans it'll be evidence of the couple, Scott and Jessica, and how their families are like family.

Ice Sweat and Tears is scheduled for broadcast on cbc-tv, which has a deal with Skate Canada. I wonder if Skate Canada commissioned and/or pitched this hard-hitting, no holds barred, warts-and-all exercise in documented truthiness and I'm also curious if the the truthiness of all relevant components was fully disclosed to the filmmakers.

I love how uncontrived this photo is. Everybody loves everybody! No matter how sleazy and sketchy and gross the Jessica/Scott spam has been, Tessa is cool with it - obviously. Come on Tessa, go all the way and throw an arm around Jessica! Give her a great big hug! Enough with the surrogates and buffers. I know the message is "no triangle", no "other woman", so get in there and give Scott's fake girlfriend a great big squeeze.

Sometimes I must say I wonder if Jessica's skating partners, all up in Tessa and Scott's grill as they necessarily become, don't feel a bit like Job in these situations. They've got Jessica. And they sit next to the overachieving, always cheery, completely reliable, supersonically competitive Tessa and think - why lord? Why Scott? Why did he get that partner? Why not me?

I know it's baby steps this year, but Tessa needs to pose one-on-one with Jessica, arms around like besties. That's what they were selling us after the Olympics - Scott's infamous any-girl-I-end-up-with-will-have-to-love-Tessa-as-much-as-I-do. Why does Tessa need a buffer?

I can sort of surmise what the reasoning might have been early on (i.e., half-baked as with everything SC) - but it unravels. In the beginning, Tessa made herself always scarce when Jessica and Scott were shamming, because... ? Other platonic partners hung out with their partner and their partner's SO at events, attended weddings, were on the same skater social circuit. It was a little weird that Tessa was never (photo-op speaking) at the weddings that Scott and Jessica attended "as a couple" (photo-op speaking) -  nor did Tessa join Scott and his posse when it was time to turn to stone watching Jessica and Bryce compete (a/k/a "watch paint dry."). Scott and Tessa never claimed to be enemies, just platonic. So why shouldn't she join Meryl, Charlie, Scott, etc. to watch a pairs comp? She watched the Shibs with Scott and D/W - why not Jessica/Bryce? Was she really trying to market the idea that as much as she cared for Scott, she was so desperate for "separate" time that Scott's presence at a given non-skating event was enough to keep her from attending herself?

Okay - so she's a high achiever and that includes a high achiever in leaving the impression of "separate lives." But what about Tessa and Jessica? Why did she avoid being photographed around Jessica or with Jessica? At banquets, galas, etc. she'd be photographed one on one with almost anyone except either Jessica or Scott. What was the deal with that? Was it fear that, just as Scott's inauthenticity reached out and choked the viewer when he posed with Jessica, Tessa would radiate "real love interest" if she stood next to the fake? It's not fair, really, for Scott's "SO" to love Tessa with the same intensity Scott loves Tessa, and Tessa not to love in return. So let's see it girls.

I hope Tessa has just not been giving herself a break that Scott never got until recently. He has had to paste on a grin, or a smarmy face, or a gross, cheesy expression. Tessa is, to say the least, all up in the drive behind the sham. A really easy way to kibosh fan confusion would have been for them to hang as a threesome or Tessa show how comfy she was with Scott's relationship by buddying up with Jessica for the camera. The fact that she always made herself scarce helped enable speculation that there were tense undercurrents and unresolved feelings in the mix, not to mention generated miles of real person fan fiction.

So now maybe they're clued in that making Tessa disappear didn't enhance the Jessica/Scott authenticity, so Tessa is now showing up, but she still sticks a body between herself and Jessica. Even in that group shot Tessa's body was in the same plane as Scott and Patrick, not with Jessica. She really needs to step it up. I know there's a division of labor, but perhaps it would be helpful if she had to pose a la I-Love-Jessica too, bff-division. See exactly how comfortable it is.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Merry Month of May

It's almost that time again, and as a precursor to May training break here comes the first article promoting CSOI/Tessa_Scott while emphasizing that between Worlds and CSOI they went their separate ways.

Separate ways

Separate phone interviews, separate ways. This week, Tessa lives in Windsor and Scott went "home" to Ilderton where he lives in Mom and Dad's basement like most 24 year olds (made that last part up). For good measure, we're told their relationship is "sibling like".

Poor interviewer wasn't up to speed on the London promotional venture*, Scott and Tessa's interviews while driving from Canton, and Scott and Tessa going to Tokyo for WTT. Separate ways is next month when Tessa goes solo to Capri or perhaps joins a few classmates for an expedition to India, while Scott enjoys beautiful Jamaica with Jessica Dube.

Speaking of WTT:
Look who sat herself down closest to the camera lens.
It's Barb MacDonald. What's she even doing on

camera, let alone putting herself front and center?
Is it the Director of Communications' job to shove her face closest to the camera frame? Yes. Otherwise, how would the skaters know to cheer? How would we know? Barb is good for morale! They probably had to urge her over her protests to plant her ass exactly where it is.

Why don't other Directors of Communication do this? 

Well, it's the other teams' loss. Without their own Director of Communications on camera leading the cheers, they embarrass themselves, like France:
Team Stick-in-the-Mud
Wave the red, white and blue all you like, Team USA, inside we know you're green with envy.

With William Thompson, Skate Canada CEO, needing a second mouth to accommodate the feet he keeps shoving in there in his infatuation with the sound of his own voice, not to mention preoccupation with telling people how fortunate they are to receive a portion of his attention, with Barb hungrily sucking up the spotlight aimed at the figure skaters, not to mention Debbi pretending she's Oprah, and apparently thinking business development means driving business off and otherwise ignoring business, these three appear to pretty much do nothing but gorge themselves at the Skate Canada pr trough, shallow as it is. It's clear that one reason the skater pr is as strangled and stilted as it is is Barb, Debbi and Bill want to claim as much self-promotional real estate for themselves as they can, including what has traditionally been left to actual skaters. Barb's placing herself where she is is unseemly but it has the feel of an entitlement. I don't mean entitlement as in attitude, but as in job perk that's been agreed upon.

It's not a privately owned company, Skate Canada, yet these three carry on while the organization goes down the tubes in more ways than one and nobody puts them in check and very little daunts them in their self-promoting zeal. They're like tanks.

Their titles are obviously fig leaves. How come they can carry on like this without fear of a Jeff Neely-type reckoning? They feel secure. It's almost like somebody in power gave their jobs to them like in the bad political days of yore when somebody's cronies were given a department to pillage as a pay-off for services rendered.

*Been giving more thought to that and to William Thompson's deft civic diplomacy and promotional genius. I.e., the light show will make a big difference!

So what are you saying Bill?

Nobody would want to spend a weekend in London vs. Moncton vs somewhere in Nunavit unless there was a light show incentive? You kind of implied that.

Tessa and Scott's rah rah London public appearance sort of backed it up. You mentioned how other cities made a bid, but the light show influenced your decision and without the light show visitors will be left twiddling their thumbs. Now at least there will be something t o see. "Awesome! A light show! London is finally getting with1967!"*

Goes without saying that transportation to said light show will be brilliantly organized and not interfere with normal or (it is to be hoped) enhanced traffic patterns flowing in and around London's business area.

Debbi did an awesome job showing corporate London how much bang they'd get for their buck if anyone decides to partner up with Skate Canada. Once again, she's demonstrated her superb qualifications for her position. Look how she prepped Tessa and Scott to be perfect and appealing spokespeople for London's business community. "Uh - duh, haha - uh - well."


*Bill Thompson, SC CEO, I totally hope your bizarre light show fixation is because you're a weird, pompous dope, a
nd not because you or anyone in your circle of friends, families and cronies have any $$ interest in light-show related services.  Some of your remarks to London had the flavor of strong-arming.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Come to London for Worlds 2013 and spend quality time with Scott and Tessa's parents!

If this doesn't drum up support for London businesses in advance of Worlds 2013, then I don't know what it's gonna take.
Lifelong Londoners Tessa and Scott were sent to London to drum up interest in Worlds 2013 and give the local business community a boost (just in case that light show doesn't trigger $38 million in spin-offs, best to have a couple of well-known, popular home grown heroes talk up the best things about their town). What London is looking for here are some good plugs for all the city has to offer - places to go, things to do, sights to see, exciting parts of town, worthwhile things to do with your weekend spending money as long as you're there to watch the competition.

This light show isn't going to pay for itself, earmarked $$ or no. The idea is that Worlds leaves London with a profit, not in the hole. Who better to tell us about the great things London has to offer than Tessa and Scott.

First thing, Tessa and Scott allow as how there is no more knowledgeable or supportive skating crowd than Londoners for figure skaters competing there.

Then they said their favorite thing about London was the chance to spend quality time with their parents. The businesses in downtown London must have been overjoyed.

Tessa did toss in that she likes to get breakfast at The Bag Lady, and Scott plugged his uncles' restaurant, Shoeless Joe's. That was generous of him as Shoeless Joe's hardly ever gets plugged on Moir facebooks.

That can't be it. What other restaurants, sights and great places to visit did they mention? Oh - they both train at Maria Mountain Revolution Fitness and spend so much time there THAT's their hang-out.

So. All you people considering visiting London for Worlds 2013 and giving local business a boost, some great suggestions from Scott and Tessa:
1) Figure skate in front of London's knowledgeable skating audience!
2) Hang out at Maria Mountain Fitness. Drop-ins welcome!
3) Spend quality time with Scott and Tessa's parents!
4) Eat at Shoeless Joe's, owned and operated by Scott's family!

5) Get some coffee at The Bag Lady
 Tessa and Scott, London thanks you.*

*For future reference: London Tourism Guide

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Except not really

I'm a bit conflicted about this because this facebooker (a FOVM*) was like the sham Paul Revere during the heyday of Jessica's facebook outreach. Johnny-on-the-spot seconds after a new album was uploaded, alerting everyone about what a wonderful couple were Scott and Jessica.

But at the same time and at least for now, I don't want to make anybody who can't distinguish between the blog using sham-related facebook material and other material, paranoid.

So, I'll split the difference for now -  use the content, but scramble the i.d.

Okay, so this person is saying this almost-23 year old and 24 year old are such good "kids".  I believe that, except they're not kids. 

Then there's "what you see is what you get" which she knows is a lie.

So in the great tradition of Skate Canada, is this a pre-emptive lie - i.e. - something mega-bogus is afoot? That's been the pattern.

Or is it a defensive flip us off lie. E.g. -  these are good kids, so whatever they do is good. 

I kind of think that's a big component of how this crowd operates. It's not bad because THEY do it, and they're good people. Ethics depend on who is doing it, not what is being done. Even Tracy Wilson has resorted to that - in the forward to Virtue Moir's book, she said they do things for the "right reasons."

It doesn't work like that Tracy (much as I love Tracy). You are your actions. Being good is behavior, it's choices, it's not a state of being and it really isn't about motives - especially if the "higher good" or "right reason" is self-interest, profit, and/or plain convenience.

What you see is what you get? For real? So this facebook wall is saying when we see Scott and Jessica, that's real? What we saw was what we got (a/k/a the truth) in that photo call overseen by Debbi after the Olympic ice dance final? Always has been, always will be?

Man, the opinion these people have of themselves. Because of who they are, everything they touch - good. Regular ethics are for other people not as special and good. So the rest of us can just fuck off.

I can't wait til the reasons come out, if they even bother, to see how well the reasons match up with the many things they've done, and how often, including Scott's fan facebook set ups. Scott announcing he was shutting down his personal facebook and then not; VM hinting at getting together down the line while playing up the sham at the same time. Oh, and 4CCs 2011. That's another face value event VM and their friends can brag on. And the rift - a centerpiece of their book, and a fabrication.

I realize VM are nice people who are very nice to people's faces, including to fan faces. I am sure they're nice to people who are in their lives.They're also mega liars who both stage and proactively sell lies, set fans up to get spammed by them, and withhold even innocuous photos of themselves for no good faith public relations or sham protection reasons. These are the realities. Scott even made fun of shipper fans right after the Olympics, and Tessa had the habit of gaslighting them - making them think they had VM confused with movie characters. This was such nice behavior.

Does make one wonder about the religious/ethical training of all concerned. And I have to say it reminds me of the popular Canadian past time among some Canadians of insulting Americans as aggressive and rude while bragging on their own wonderful politeness. That behavior is, of course, the opposite of politeness. "We're wonderful and you suck." Yeah, that's very nice. But I read it a LOT. "We in Canada are wonderful and we're not horrible like you sucky Americans." And of course, no irony is perceived when things like that are said.**

So, it's like, Scott and Tessa are wonderful wonderful and all of you who have been sold a bill of goods about them --- aren't.

Is that the deal? 

There are a LOT of good people in this world, many of them fans. It's not an entitlement. It doesn't set one apart from the rest of humanity, and it's not unique to Canadians. It's what human beings are supposed to be striving towards - all of us, not just unique figure skaters.
*Friend of VM
**note the phrasing: "SOME" Canadians.

What you see is what you get:
Is that right.
Such good people. You might even say classy. Because this was necessary.

What you see is what you get:
I don't know about that, but they make sure we see it, I'll give them that.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

If Rosie DiManno plans to become Christine Brennan she needs to step up her game

Christine Brennan is a joke, but at least she did most of her figure skating sob sister act under 6.0, when all you needed to do was crawl up the behind of somebody in the sport (in Christine's case, Lori Nichol) and filter everything through that point of view. When Brennan actually tried to talk skating I believe fans set her straight and in her second book she'd been chastened and cleaned up her fast and loose act a bit.

Now Rosie has a tabloid style. Her personality type trends to the acutely sensitive and suspectible to flattery, and she's hostile and vicious when criticized unless there's a lot of apologetic preliminary bowing and scraping. She writes about female figure skaters as if they're characters in a soap opera. Her prose is so scathingly purple it vibrates.

Or maybe the color is green. (I'm imitating Rosie here with that paragraph break.)

This seldom, if ever, is a valid accusation on the internet but Rosie -  u jellus?

Perhaps emboldened by SC's synchophancy, Rosie has decided she can actually make a sweeping assertion or seven about the actual skating part of figure skating, how it's judged, and how understandable or valid COP actually is. Did she actually become informed about this stuff? Are you kidding? Rosie doesn't get paid to do that. She gets paid to cut, paste and talk out her rear end.

So apparently she got emails (not from me). And responded with a buzz saw. Rosie you are going to lose this one. Go ahead, write about figure SKATERS. When you do, you are really telling the audience more about yourself and and how self-referential you can't help being, even subtextually, but hey, it gets attention. Steer clear of figure SKATING.  There actually are regular people reading who know a whole lot more and are entitled to set you straight.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Help Me Understand

My beloved Tracy Wilson "interviews" Virtue Moir in Nice, FRANCE
Tracy, I'll always love you.  I forgive you falling on the sword and using the universal "me" in this unrehearsed interview as I know you already understand perfectly.

Still, this part of the interview:

Tracy: Help me understand your relationship here. Best friends, brother sister?

Scott <heh heh> I don't think you can compare it really. It's a very unique relationship; we've really kind of grown into what is a great partnership, also a great friendship. The further our career goes on, the better it gets. Hopefully we can just keep that going for the next two years and enjoy it.
It's so so SO hard to understand. No wonder they heh heh and fidget. They know we couldn't comprehend.  That unique-itude* is a giant umbrella explaining all the equivocation. How could we ever understand? It can't be described in plain language!

"Married? I don't get it! You didn't explain good!"

"You're married AND skate together? Brain no process!"

"You grew up together and were in love from the first and never stopped, been planning your lives together since forever? Unprecedented! Wait, let me go re-read My Sergei!"

Or perhaps:
"Wow, married and skate together! And parents? At your young ages right in the middle of your career? And prior to that - in love and committed and skating together! Wait - LIVE together and skate together BEFORE that? OMG! You know what this means? We're entitled to know every single intimate detail about when your relationship progressed from baby sweethearts to man/woman, how you could make such a commitment to each other so young, what did  your parents think? We're entitled to demand you justify everything repeatedly and share your plans so we can analyze them. If you don't, we'll kidnap your baby!"

"If we knew the truth we'd have opinions. OMG. Fans talking out their ass about you. What skater could handle that?"

What choice do Tessa and Scott have but: "Accio - bubble!"

Still, they have explained in the past, and a lot of people did feel that what they made up was hard to comprehend, actually, no matter how many explanations were on offer.  A relationship that they explained like this: (paraphrasing, but on point):

She's like my younger, more mature sister.
It's not like brother and sister, and it's not like a marriage.
Anyone I'd be with would have to love Tessa as much as I do or it wouldn't work.
My girlfriend's in the sport, she understands.
She's in the same situation, she has a partner.
It doesn't annoy me. It might annoy my girlfriend.
She's (Tessa's) my best friend and I tell her absolutely everything.
When you're that pretty...
We were just excited to hold each other's hands. That's still true.
(His girlfriend better understand, because of : "Tessa and I are not a couple - not yet anyway." "I've been trying to pitch that for 12 years and this is the first maybe. Progress!" "I'm trying!" And Tessa saying she likes to hold hands with him in Paris. (Or was that last part just so 2009, before 2010 and they cooked up rift and springing apart like a couple of magnets the second they exited the ice?))

Then there's:
I'm going to be opaque about anything to do with Tessa and me but I'll throw "Jtaime's" on Jessica Dube's wall in front of thousands of strangers. But on my facebook - even my fan page facebook -  I won't share with fans a single candid photo of Tessa and me at a competition, in Canton, or in London, or from the Ilderton Gold Medal Celebration, or from the Olympics, or Worlds or the Grand Prix, or from various figure skater weddings, nor from a plane, backstage, a car, a photo shoot, a sightseeing outing, a training session with one of our interesting outside experts, a meal or a show.** Despite the fact that the hundreds I'm sweeping in as my facebook friends weekly are fans. But when the spotlight is strongest on me and my business partner, Tessa, I will help spam the internet with photos from my intimate life with Jessica Dube, in and around figure skating competitions and publicized summer training breaks and family and friends will act like carnival barkers making sure you don't miss it.
And just to keep you on your toes, in record time I'm going to spoil Jessica's coy party when she posts "on the kitchen counter, on the hallway floor, on the floor by the sofa" but I'll have no problems posing for photos like this for the edification of thousands on my facebook and Jessica's:        
She loves Tessa as much as he does.
Hey Scott. You know what's been really hard to understand and what has understandably appeared difficult to explain? All that bullshit.

If you and Tessa had been honest everybody would have been over it by now. As you have likely not noticed, people are more apt to gossip on message boards about stuff they make up than stuff that's true. True stuff, they hesitate, lest the truth end up showing up their ass.Worlds showed this again, as one lucky fan reports seeing not just one, but two rumored couples kissing, holding hands and gazing at each other in front of God and everyone. No one I know who attends international figure skating competitions ever gets so fortunate as to have two gossiped-about-on-message-boards couples behave as if they're unaware they're in a fan mecca. Couples who conveniently demonstrate confirmation of their non-platonic relationship by lip kissing and holding hands. And here, at one Worlds, we have one fan who managed to see this behavior by the two highest profile rumored new couples in skating. My, some folks are lucky. You'd think such luck would put people in a good mood but it's funny how touchy these fans get when asked "Tell me more!" (Was not me, but I read the boards.)

The truth isn't hard to understand, Scott, Tessa, Tracy. The lies have been.***

*Not just unique but "very" unique.

**Cause he's private. That sort of stuff is only for the eyes of book purchasers and sponsors interested in Ice Sweat and Tears.  It's not for a free fan page on facebook.

*** Wouldn't it be interesting if the lies had nothing to do with privacy and everything to do with the money from a "Now it Can Be Told" and a post-eligible career sale of photos held back for ten years? That fans were made fools of left and right, mocked and set up, flipped off and baited so that these two could market a dramatic - and profitable - reversal?  It's to wonder because they're so cagey and private - except when they're suddenly not. What's the reason they're suddenly not, when they're not? $$$.