Sunday, May 26, 2013


The most prolific fans on skating message boards also know nothing about skating. For them, ice dance is a vehicle to deliver a performance, and the performance is what the judges evaluate, with the skating a secondary component.

The performance isn't a vehicle to deliver the skating. Which, of course it is, but they don't know enough about skating to judge it on that basis.

I think they don't want to know more than they do about skating, just as many don't really want to believe Virtue and Moir are married. Actual information would restrict 90% of all discussion on skating boards. What is that 90%? Pet theories rooted in ignorance - theories about skating, theories about relationships, theories about training centers.

Good skating is actually pretty black and white, no matter how reluctant the figure skating industry is to let us know that.

You'd think, though, that even for fans, "power" would be something easy to see. Yet a popular point going around now is that Virtue and Moir have lost power since Vancouver.

Of course, the opposite is true. This would be a point very very easily made by Virtue and Moir, but they seem to prefer to let DW have the field to themselves, with implying that they've long since caught up to and passed Virtue Moir. Virtue and Moir and their various stooges seem unwilling to say the obvious, which is they've become far more powerful since Vancouver.

A couple of side notes: one very prolific, high profile fan decided to worry about Scott doing "high lifts" in SOI instead of dance lifts. Of course this fan fretted about that, since high lifts are much easier on the back, shoulders and arms than dance lifts.

Another note - in the performance of Worlds 2013, after she's out of the twizzles, Tessa touches her foot down prematurely when she and Scott hit the exit pose. She does, though, exit on that one edge, which is more than Meryl normally does. Meryl and Charlie's exit generally consists of immediately hopping off their twizzling edge. Even putting a foot down fractionally before she intended, Tessa still has more of an exit edge than either Meryl/Charlie - and she's already out of the element anyway.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

You can overdo the auto filter

Cass Brook's 'album cover' reminded me so much of Celine Dion publicity stills and cover art, I went to see if the similarities carried over to other Cassandra/Celine photos.

By "reminded" I don't mean to insult the professionals who create Celine Dion's stuff, but just that in these photos, the women resemble each other. The set of the mouth, pumping up the hair and wearing it like a curtain, accessory, femininity signifier, and then boosting the glow and softening stuff up, and the angles.

I think in all these shots Celine is older than 23. She was in the same Hello magazine edition that recognized Jessica Dube, she's got a great long legged well proportioned skinny body and big eyes, but at the same time, even if she'd been this polished at 23 I don't know if she'd be everyone's first choice for commercial, glamor, fashion or other type of modeling.

If you're 23 and dialing up the filter this hard people tend to wonder what's behind all the hair and blown out lighting. There's photoshop, which is used on almost everything, and there's this.

So I think the photos are on the wrong track, but who knows.

She needs a portfolio for sure. The model mayhem site that Cassandra has recently joined requires 4 photos from anyone who requests membership. Cassandra uploaded five, including this

selfie, which I can't even. I assumed she likes how it's rotated because that's how it's living on the site. The other four are from what appears to be a professional or semi-professional shoot.

So I don't think she's done any modeling she hasn't paid for herself.* And since we've already seen these photos from her on social media months ago and she didn't have any new ones to represent herself with on Model Mayhem, I think Tessa probably owes her a photo session upgrade with someone who can keep their mouse clicker off lens flare, rather than leaving Cassandra to hustle herself with strangers (I actually have a lightbulb moment further down about this).

She has to get a little help here; Virtue Moir need to be more pro-active, like they and SC were with Jessica. Think of the thousands Virtue Moir saved in air travel last season.

Cassandra was "revealed" as Scott's new honey in m'ovember and she joined Model Mayem in April, so I think anyone who thought she took the sham gig hoping it would be a transition out of dental hygiene-ing and into something more gratifying nailed it.

If you sign up for that purpose (exposure) but it works out to be a now you see it now you don't instagram and twitter situation, and you're way more under the radar than your predecessor, your ambitions might be thwarted. A whole season went by and she's got the same "portfolio" she started with.

There's a comments section on Model Mayhem where members can remark on photos so just FYI Moirville, get somebody in there to exclaim "you and Scott should do a shoot together!" or "great seeing you and Scott in Florida!" There's not much cross-pollination there with skating but we all know fans find stuff. They found this.

(Oh wait a minute - she joined in April. Maybe they're already working this and that's the entire reason she's there. We've got it backwards. People here were all 'she wants to be a model" and it gave Moirville the idea to have Cassandra work a minor but public site like MM (the way the m'ovember page was minor and off the beaten track, but easily found).

That could be why she's using the same photos all the fans have already seen and not bothered with better shots - so they'll recognize her immediately. It's a set up, and then someone will start commenting, mentioning Scott, or she'll put photos there, with comments like "Scott took this!"

What are the odds on that one? The moderators on Model Mayhem are described as absentee Nazis but there's no comment guidelines I've read or rules about leaving links.)

23 is young but it's mature to have only these types of photos representing your nascent modeling career, even if you only aspire locally.

So what was it, a Cinderella complex? Become a dental hygienist, keep investing in good hair conditioner, do the bar circuit and hope somebody great marries you or somebody is struck by your qualifications and offers you modeling opportunities or wants to take your picture? It just seems like a long time to be hanging around aspiring without proactively doing. Maybe she likes short-cuts and thought one would come along sooner than (she hopes) it did.

*Although there's a link to a "portfolio" on her profile page. However, what can be in the portfolio considering the photos she's using as a calling card to look for work and "build" her portfolio. It comes off as if she wants to build "a" portfolio versus one that already exists.

And it could be a placeholder profile page for future backdoor shamming.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Why haven't Scott and Tessa been asked about the rumor?

I'm not touting this blog's horn, but after over two years the blog has become as much a part of the Scott/Tessa fan discussion matrix as any of the skating or Virtue/Moir fan discussion forums. I think the baby "rumor" has now made it onto twitter as often as the David Pelletier rumor did when that was flying.

The marriage and baby rumor has made it into mainstream discussion sites. It's part of the lexicon even as a joke. "Where are they hiding the baby"?

Most online fans, even super fans - especially super fans -  believe Scott and Tessa are platonic - at least that's what fans say publicly. And this doesn't stop some media from claiming that 'dreamers' and 'ubers' insist they're together. (Which is something that Scott and Tessa are making up - it doesn't happen - and that "dreamers and ubers say they're together" shit started before the blog. Dreamers and ubers are the ones most adamant about Scott and Tessa being platonic, and they write fan fic about it.)

The Pelletier story - existing purely on the internet - was finally, albeit obliquely, addressed and dismissed by Virtue Moir.

And 'journalists' continue to invent, so as to allow Virtue Moir to shoot down , "dating" rumors.

How come nobody has asked them about the silly rumor going around the internet that they have a secret baby?

Think about how non-offensive this is if it's a lie/rumor and not the truth. Two completely platonic figure skaters, dear friends, both with good senses of humor, both accustomed to fan fantasy/craziness, partners who made the promotional rounds months on end to discuss how platonic they are, are the targets of a rumor that they're married with a baby. Fans - and we all know fans - especially internet fans - are fantasists, bless them - have now cooked up a story that Scott and Tessa are, not dating, but "secretly" married with a kid. It's kicked around on twitter all the time.

I know that the usual people - Skate Canada, the usual entertainment and figure skating journalists - are aware.

There's nothing offensive in laughing off a rumor that you're married and have a child - if neither is true. It's funny.

"Ha ha, I don't know where we'd hide a baby - maybe in Tessa's luggage!" "I think when my brothers had babies people went overboard and wanted to include me, but nope. Someday though I hope!"

These are the jokes you make when
you don't have a child together.
But they're never asked.

Yet they're asked about stuff that doesn't happen all the time. They're asked about fans insisting they're together when most fans insist they're not. They offer up that people think Carmen was too sexy when fans loved the shit out of that program because of the skating. There was a persistent Pelletier rumor, that went on about a year, but they waited less than a year before shooting it down in their elliptical Virtue Moir way.

Where are their guts? Can't they say the words - not "we're not dating" but "We're not married" and, more to the point "We're not parents." Can't they say that? They use kids all the time to manipulate. They basically outright deny the one they have. Can't they say the words 'We don't have a child together"?

Hell, they could wank it and say we have no "SECRET" baby as the baby is not a secret to anyone who can work their 6 degrees of separation down to a reliable source. That would be just semantics. They can further wank semantics and say they have no "baby" as their little one is no longer a baby.

They have the gall, for sure. Scott can pose with fake gfs in circumstances that a lot of people find extremely sad, considering his actual status, but if inside their bubble they find it heroic, what can you do. They obviously know all about child psychology as well as their child's future personality, and know this won't cause any harm at all. They could seriously throw down just by saying "We're not married" and "we didn't have a baby between Worlds 2010 and 4CCs 2011."

They love to deny shit. Why not this? Again, the actual rumor is just silly - if it weren't the truth. The David Pelletier one was worse - Tessa homewrecked Canadian sweethearts.

A couple of dear, close platonic buddies are rumored to be married and have a child? That's a piece of cake. Laugh it off on the record, Scott and Tessa. Stop exploiting gullible surrogates like Heather to do it for you.


Comment 9:09 pm in the post below this one has linked to Cassandra's profile (thanks) on "", last activity "today" (a/k/a Tessa's birthday, May 17):

Kind of a later join date.

The second that fans got a look at Cassandra's social media stylings it didn't take a genius to see she harbors modeling dreams. The quasi professional, auto-tuned photos, the security blanket hair, several remarks in the comments indicating that her dream is to cash in on what she thinks are marketable looks.

There's a motive to act the fake girlfriend role. Notoriety is as good as celebrity. Even psycho Rebecca Martinson:

Michael Shannon reads Rebecca Martinson's email

got a job offer after her email went viral. It was from an online porn site, but baby steps.

I think, though, that Cassandra was using Moirville logic. Moirville logic doesn't understand context.

Cassandra is a cute, glamor model prospect in context.

What context? "Scott Moir's girlfriend".
"Scott Moir skates on frigid ice during the day but at home it's hot hot hot. Cass Hilborn and the Olympic medalist have been dating almost a year. While fans dream Scott and his cutie pie partner Tessa, are a couple, Cass laughs it off.  Tessa can glide with him across the ice, but Cass heats him up at home."

That's how it works. Cass, as the girlfriend, gets modeling jobs in which her credential is "girlfriend." This type of gig exploits the celebrity bf connection while stoking the ego of the subject by saying her sex appeal is a force in its own right. The girlfriend angle is what would set her apart from every other girl in a bar. Then she leverages that into being a personality.

However, is Scott going to green light Cassandra using his name as her label, as her angle, for modeling gigs? A published angle, a selling point in the headline, byline or caption?

Or, does Cassandra think that among those who find her photos via hunting for Scott stuff will be prospective employers or photographers who go "who's that girl?" and reach out with leads for her, no desire to use the Scott angle at all?

Just like Scott and Tessa aren't asked, in legit media, on the record, about the stories they're married parents, I question if Scott would allow his name to be linked to Cassandra's to help advance her glamor modeling ambitions.

Without Scott, she's got til about age 27 or so to be paid for being at someone's bar or club - social media type promotional gigs that a lot of local girls use post-school/pre-"real" career. She can get that stuff without him.

I know more about real modeling than glamor modeling, and with real modeling, and before a girl is hired, and despite how images are altered once a model has the job, clients and photographers want to know how the girl actually looks - what the raw material is. They don't go for the gauze and filter - that's amateur. "Glamor" modeling - a very flexible category - may be different.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Only 19 tweets and 10 are shamming

I don't know if this girl believes what she's tweeting but her sham-tweet ratio certainly distinguishes her as somebody for whom it's very very important that fans know how silly it is to believe Scott and Tessa are together. 10 tweets out of 19. I wonder if she's going to restrict her tweets soon!

Hear that Toddler Moir? Scott has beautiful nieces but not you. You're a silly idea. You're ridiculous. You don't exist. This girl can't even work her mind around how they would HIDE you.  Seeing as how the entire internet lives on your street, at your pediatrician's, on the tour bus, backstage, and in hotel rooms, and the entire internet knows what every single one of your relatives and family friends look like AND your mommy and daddy live at the rink, in hotel lobbies, and at press events and meet and greets. Impossible, it's true. So it's settled. You don't exist. Your mommy and daddy are making very sure we think you don't.

Or, OTOH, they're just using your existence as another spiteful tug of war prop in the game they started against the fans, and feel entitled to win. That feels about right as well.

I wonder if, when Toddler Moir starts school, if Scott and Tessa can register their child under a different last name. You know in order to win this thing, outlast this thing, they'll stick their kid in a burka before they allow that kid's information to be entered on public registrars and do school activities. Toddler Moir, know now that neither mommy nor daddy will attend your school plays or school events unless you pretend someone else is mommy or daddy. If you achieve something in school and make the local paper your mommy and daddy won't be quoted about how proud. You'll never be in a school newsletter. You'll never travel on a commercial airline and get to sit in your parents' laps or next to them. I'm sorry, but there's winning involved.

You know how when Scott and Tessa started competing everybody in their families was in the paper talking about them? Danny Moir was on camera and also gave interviews the year they won silver at Junior Worlds. Senior Moirs were constantly quoted and went verklempt. Kate Virtue talked about her close relationship with Tessa. Jim Virtue talked about how watching Scott and Tessa skate was worth any money they put into it. This has been going on since they were middle-schoolers. I guess Scott and Tessa had an awful experience being acknowledged in the media by their families, their families talking about their pride in them, sharing stories Scott and Tessa were too "humble" to mention themeselves. Because they're making damn sure their own child will never know what that's like.

Just like now, this child's early life direction will continue to be shaped by Mom and Dad's ego requirements, cowardice, and lack of humility.

Also, Scott and Jessica were talking about marriage and she wanted school and he wanted skating. That makes complete sense when one realizes they didn't skate together and had sustained a long-distance relationship for years. Surely somewhere in between his training and her becoming a scholar they could have continued to visit on weekends and vacation together just as they did when both were skating and training in different parts of the country and then discussed marriage again after early 2014. Shit, Scott and Tessa claim they're not even doing Worlds 2014. Jessica and Scott couldn't hang on til then?

Hear that Toddler Moir? Your daddy's name is just owned in public by everybody but mommy. He wanted to marry Jessica Dube. He and the new girl are very serious and VERY happy. Soon, when Sochi is over he can move on from your mommy and marry Cassandra Hilborn.

Yes, Scott has moved on with a hometown girl who is just the SWEETEST (remember when sham promoters would constantly churn how cute and sweet and darling Jessica and Scott were together). They might get married after Sochi!

I can't believe how Moirville lets Scott's name be dragged around like this, and the child's existence be toyed with like this. Keep mouths shut, fine, but to proactively show up on social media and be aggressive with it when there is no threat whatsoever to the child's actual privacy, no disturbence of the status quo that has existed for years, and actually no compelling reason other than spite is gross.

It shows their priorities for sure. It also shows that they KNOW legit media will never address social media, so they can show their true character on social media and present a different face in legit media. On social media, being competitive is all that matters to them. They'll use a child not yet three. They'll use Scott's intimate relationship with Tessa and repurpose it to make claims about two other women. All for what? There is no threat here at all. So what are they doing it for?

I never EVER want to hear Tessa and Scott whining about "hurtful" rumors like Tessa being similar to Carmen or any other rumor of any kind when they green light this sort of shit to go out in public.

Know what the takeaway here is going to be?

"Jessica Dube would be pretty surprised to learn she wasn't actually dating Scott Moir for five years."

Obviously, there was some type of sordid triangle dynamic going on, Scott was bouncing between Jessica and Tessa and it took awhile to work itself out.

Think that's not going to happen? It will.

"Scott got involved with this hometown girl who got super attached super quickly."

Their kid will have to deal, they'll have to deal. I don't care what rumors come out prior to Sochi - they will probably make some up and then act sad about them - they have no business dealing with the topic of rumors whatsoever when they put them out themselves, without caring about the consequences.

They certainly are unique. They said a mouthful with that one.

P.S. - this girl is showing all the signs of someone who knows the sham is lies. She's so prolific. She's so adament. She knows so much about the dynamics of Scott's romantic life. How do all these strangers know Scott was considering marriage to Jessica? Does he blab on the bus? Does his family give a "Status of Scott" update at the Ilderton rink before skating classes? How does this girl not only know he was considering marriage to Jessica but also may marry Cassandra? And has never EVER had anything to do with Tessa? Who the hell knows who has slept with who? Which of us would ever be 1,000% sure about people in this supposed situation? Lots of times our closest friends have bits and pieces of our lives and we have bits and pieces of theirs, and then other friends have different bits and pieces, because of timing and when they happened to share an experience or when they happened to fall into a conversation. Except for Scott. People don't know tons of details. But they all know this. He has never EVER touched Tessa other than as a sister (off the ice). EVER. They may not know what their sister has done or their brother, but they all know this about Scott. They may not know details about Fake Girl X but they know she's a sweetheart and she and Scott are very happy together and it's pretty serious. Who knew Scott was so forthcoming, and so good at keeping mere acquaintances updated? 

Does Scott know the ins and outs of the love life of Heather's cousin? Who Heather's cousin used to date, why they broke up, who they're with now, who they definitely 100% for sure never ever slept with?

This is not how real stuff is talked about. Real stuff with real people in their bedrooms is not a bullet pointed set of talking points that everybody received and never veers off message. There IS no "on message" in real, actual, three dimensional relationships. And whether or not someone is dating his partner isn't treated as a crisis. It's always 100% no way, shape or form has he ever EVER been with Tessa. What "fans" and "friends" get so riled up about real things when the subject is so inoccuous? Why the consistent overreaction from everybody selling this message?

I also want to walk back to Heather's logic here.

1. Scott and Jessica were talking about marriage but she wanted school and he wanted skating.
2. Cassandra Hilborn is a dental hygienist.
2. Scott has said he and Tessa will retire from competition after Sochi.
3. Heather says Scott will probably marry dental hygienist Cassandra Hilborn after Sochi.
4. Why couldn't Scott marry college junior Jessica Dube after Sochi? Cassandra's not a skater either.

That he wanted skating, she wanted school was mindless. Heather just caught some stupid because Jessica was also a skater and it 'sounded' like a fit even though as soon as you read it, you realize it makes no sense.

Friday, May 10, 2013

So Meryl and Charlie have decided to skip the skating part altogether?

They must be quite confident that a great deal of theatrical posing is going to bring them the gold in this Olympic year.

And some remarks in the comments section are spot on - the gold medal is going to be determined by applause meter. That's why Meryl/Charlie are hitting the show trick/show posing so hard. Derek Hough - the King of trick/pose.

This guy joins their line-up:

He's a world champion cabaret dancer.

wiki describes cabaret dancing as:
It's a solo couple dance where the distinguishing factor is all the lifts and spins that the man does while holding the woman in the air.

IOW - what they're already doing. Not actual rhythm based dancing. Nothing that depends upon an edge. Adagio acrobatics. The guy is a stable base (stolid, not dancing) the woman is two dimensional in space.

That's them all over.

All of this this seems about right. Derek Hough is using a Davis White trick for himself and Kelli Pickler, and Kelli Pickler isn't even a dancer on the floor. She's a singer.

Davis White tricks are not only not about actually skating or using your edges in and out, but they're also not necessarily Olympic calibre or even real professional show dance calibre. They can be done by a very physically fit, non-pro youngish person.

It's going to be a program full of a lot of WTF and bracketing a two second highlight where they pretty much grab the audience with both fists and demand applause. Set up, set up, set up - TRICK!!!! POSE! Then somewhere in there they'll throw in a couple of phrases of skating and throw their arms open to the audience so the audience can applaud the awesome.

Element wise, again, don't look too closely to how they get into it or how they get out of it or how they evolve/transition during it. Just look at the highlight moment. Let's see if getting into it, getting out of it involves more actual skating, less two-footing, less all four hands/arms clutching and unsupported edgework, more running edges out, or if they're just looking for new shapes and angles, but getting in and out the same way. Let's see if they can manage their bodies in space without being bracketed near the pelvis coming, going and during.

It seems to me they're going all in on what they do best. It's the Olympics and they really want that gold. If the ISU has let Tessa and Scott know they want more traditional romantic stuff from them, I wonder if the ISU has told Meryl Charlie that the game is up so they need new shapes. Don't do that prow of the ship thing on his thigh anymore, don't do that split legged rotational. Do something with the exact same basic mechanics - i.e., non-skating entrance with all hands on deck and non-skating exit, but alter the visual a little. We'll think it's brand new.

I'm betting now that there will be at least one moment in Davis White's free dance where they make a big show of doing something SLOWLY. It won't matter where Charlie's feet are, how they got in, how they get out - it will be some type of arial where the final transition and then the pose will be SLOW - but SLOW with an exclamation point. Like what fabulous control! How amazing! I think only Tony Dovolini and his winning All-Stars partner Melissa Rycroft would come near it.

It's going to be that type of game. I'm going to be watching the feet.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

I've been wondering if this image hints at Meryl and Charlie's program theme.
Retirement Community?

Russian Soldiers Repel Hitler
If they skate that one in Sochi the rules say give them the gold.

I don't think another ice dance team could
execute this theme as spot on.

The Kid.
I can see this being a Meryl showcase.

Similarly, The Champ:

They have developed their artistic side.
Van Gogh's Two Peasant Women Digging in a Field With Snow

Jane Eyre
Cutting the cake.

Contemporary and socially aware:

From Gabriel Stabiel and Juliet Linderman's photo series
Refugee Hotel
Hewing to the "uplifting" requirement:

A look back at the games of childhood.
Tribute to athletes injured on the field of play.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Batting 1,000, Scott

Historical perspective.

First, Cassandra Hilborn's current facebook photo.

Cassandra's lost weight. That happens when people get famous. They become conscious of how they photograph.

Given Cassandra's profound understanding of the quotes she posts to express her personality, I'll assume she knows who popularized the quote on her t-shirt, which says: "The heart wants what the heart wants."

Woody Allen was in a relationship with Mia Farrow. Mia had a bunch of adopted kids, and after the Woody/Mia thing blew up, Woody explained that they were adopted kids, not real family (he really said that).

Woody also had a bio kid with Mia Farrow, named Satchel (now Ronan Farrow). He adopted two of her other kids - Moses and Dylan.

 Then baby "Satchel" and little girl then known as Dylan.


One day Mia found a bunch of medical-shot calibre photos of her 'adopted' daughter Soon Yi, taken by Woody, and learned they were having an affair.

Concurrently, little Dylan said Woody had molested her.

A lot of Woody defenders think the Dylan accusation was just scorned woman stuff, but the girl is now an adult and hates him, his bio son hates him, and I, personally, think that a guy who thought he could just linger, lurk and hang out at his own kids' grade schools on the upper east side til admin kicked him out has left himself open to suspicion that he's capable of things.

Which is not factoring in that when she was a little girl, prior to the scandal, Woody Allen never let Dylan's feet touch the ground, he carried her everywhere and she always had to sit in his lap. She looked miserable.

When the affair was discovered Woody said the heart wants what the heart wants. He put that quote into the lexicon.

What his heart wanted was to fuck his girlfriend's daughter in secret while continuing a relationship with his girlfriend and being father to three of her kids.

He said a lot about how it wasn't a real family so he didn't really break one up, even though his eldest 'son', Moses, disagreed with his views quite vocally and the other two kids of 'his' grew up to disagree even more.

Mia's other two adult girls - Soon Yi contemporaries - said Woody had  made overtures to them before finding a more responsive target in Soon Yi.

When Allen married Soon Yi he adopted two daughters - privately, it is presumed, as one hopes no agency gave him the green light. Based on his logic, we can also presume he doesn't consider them "real daughters", so if they're lucky they're growing up stronger than he is and can kick his ass. Plus Soon Yi looks hard ass herself.

This is him with "daughter"* Bechet some years back.

And both 'daughters":

So the "heart wants what the heart wants" was the justification of an old perv for degenerate, destructive behavior.

Or, as Cass would spin it, it expresses the extravagant romanticism with a streak of rebellion that both she and Woody share, charismatic attributes not found in every dental hygienist in Ontario, I'll bet.

Her presentation of herself is pretty theatrical for someone we're meant to believe is simply a young woman dating an available single guy. She postures as a defiant heroine flipping the bird to critics and naysayers.

How is that part of the narrative she's supposed to be selling? Two nice young single people get together and start a relationship. There's nothing epic there.

She seems to be double messaging. Her tone would be more apt for a woman who actually WAS fucking a married man with a child, and telling us all to get bent because the "heart wants what the heart wants". The slogan of homewreckers everywhere. That's a homewrecker quote.

Otherwise it's misplaced histrionics because exactly what obstacles or opposition would a single 24 year old from Ontario face when she dates a single 25 year old from Ontario.

Nada. But Scott's fake gfs do tend to try to feed their ego and piggyback their vanity onto the platform of being his 'gf', and I guess just being a 'gf' isn't a big enough role for them to play.

So are the basics all too pedestrian for Cass? Is she hoping to push the boundaries and lead people to believe she actually is dating the married dad, Scott Moir? Otherwise her posturing is a little illogical.

She's such a student of literature and music, right? She finds that she herself amazingly personifies the subjects of many song lyrics and the character of some of the literary world's most notable personalities.

Boy, Scott Moir is just batting 1,000 in the entire "daughter" area, considering the shirt his social media girlfriend is wearing and the sordid origin of its displayed quote. At this rate, Scott may as well cut to the chase and hire Piper Gilles as his gf.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Winning Form

Ann Arbor's hiring the "Rocky" sculptor to install this in front
of Arctic Edge. Although Sylvester Stallone has better posture.
Thanks to poster in comments section for the link.

It's only going to get more obnoxious from here to Sochi. It's obvious the USFSA and icenetwork are going to implicitly bash VM every time they promote DW. Look at the above. Everyone else gone home - including the uppity, entitled Olympic champions. Davis and White are putting in the work. Whoa, my bad. Puttin in the work. See how relatable. I mean who on earth can Tanith mean when she mentions that everyone else has gone home? Those lazy Shibutanis?

Could she mean - those entitled 2010 Olympic champions who think they can waltz into Sochi, skate more brilliantly than anyone else and just be handed another gold? Without ever hunching over with their backs to the camera wearing hoodies, observed only by dreary, lonely looking late night fluorescent lighting and a devoted First Girlfriend? Could this be who Tanith means?

If VM went home, that means they're not puttin in the same work as Meryl and Charlie. They should have stayed late as well, see if with enough time and effort they can align their spines, acquire unison and sustain an edge. Meryl and Charlie aren't there yet, but it's early days.

Considering everyone, including the First Girlfriend, prefers to talk about skating your heart out, staying late, giving their all, and not about the skating, it's obvious everyone's gotten the message that 2014's Olympic gold will be awarded to the ice dance team who puts in the most effort, and, in case any other skating team turns out to be actually, you know, training too, let's stipulate that "most effort" means who makes figure skating look like it's really really the most hard for them to do.  Look at the two of them up there. Skating is harder for Meryl and Charlie than Mitch running for President was for Ann Romney. Geez the poor kids can't even stand up straight.

You know that's just their style. So's them bein on one-footed blade flats or very very extremely shallow almost negligible 'edges'. That's some 10s in pcs we're lookin at.

Look at those two. Stayin late, clutchin each other for ballast per usual, and they still can't get an edge into the ice. But they'll work and work until they get it or can fake it.

If the ice dance gold in Sochi were going to be awarded for skating, Tanith wouldn't have used the photo above, because that photo shows that Charlie and Meryl damn well better be puttin in the work, and maybe they should consider puttin in even more work, because traditionally ice dance has involved skating on an edge.

Instead of bent over like a crab, hips tight, shoulders tight, and on a flat. Heads and necks jacked up. And even then, they're not even pretending unison. Their upper bodies are all squashed like usual, because they have to be pasted together to stay on their feet. Do that tent thing. I wonder which one of them is about to knee slide or scurry.

There seems to be a little effortful choreographic emoting emanating from the body language in that photo as well, so I'll go out on a limb and wager that Davis White aren't reinventing the wheel for Sochi. They're gonna bullshit, "us too" and pretend their defects are their style. Their posture looks a little like a bastardized, junk shop attempt at 'modern' - or, let's be real, letting Davis White be Davis White, but slapping a label on it like Domnina Shabalin did with their aboriginal program where Maxim was crippled so they chose crouched choreography to make it look on purpose.

Modern is all about bad posture - don't you know that? Sure it's really about getting deep in the knees and dropping your center of gravity, but cramping up and distorting your spine and hunching your shoulders forward while pushing your head forward is sort of the same thing, right?

Tanith has been a skater how many years, yet she posts this because the important message for Sochi is how deserving Charlie and Meryl are as people.  It's not as skaters - obviously. Or she'd be insane to publish that image. They're deserving as people. Unlike, you know, some undeserving people she's not going to mention but let's just say they're complacent. They're home with their feet up counting their money, lying to the folks, and texting Cathy Hilborn to get the bat signal out to Cass (Code phrase: "Take the garbage out.")

P.S. It's sort of implicit that everyone else can go home before the season even starts, right Tanith? The road to Sochi is on instagram and personality politics and spin.

Why *did* Scott and Tessa cold-shoulder Debbi Wilkes?

While Debbi Wilkes lowered her profile a tiny bit after we saw her creeping in the background of skater interviews, positioning herself center frame and having instructed everyone in the premises to clear the field of vision for her, which - embarrassing - she nevertheless popped up and re-commenced interviewing skaters not long after, including Chan and including Kaetlyn Osmond. But not Scott and Tessa.

Now what happened? Were Scott and Tessa mortified when they realized Debbi was staging herself in the background of their interviews with P.J.?

I don't think so. Scott and Tessa were standing there like petrified mummies, barely moving even from the neck up as P.J. opened the can and dished out MacQuestions. They knew what Debbi was doing back there. It was payment in kind.

I wonder, though, if they had previously failed to do the math that Debbi spending all this time on them, leaching off their spotlight, contributed to her egregious neglect of other figure skaters.

People might talk.

I wonder if, amidst all the convenience of having various directors running around a la flunkies and Scott and Tessa's personal managers, it hadn't crossed Scott and Tessa's minds that because these officials were so focused on Scott and Tessa, other skaters were getting screwed, and these other skaters and their families might be pissed.

And furthermore, because these particular personalities were of service to Scott and Tessa in the positions they occupied, the positions weren't filled by people qualified to do the actual job. Ergo - the work of those positions was neglected.

Scott and Tessa's use of flunkies dedicated to their very specific personal interests gave clowns like Debbi job security and prevented the hiring and installation of people who would actually work in the best interests of everyone. What was good for Scott and Tessa was detrimental to the health of Skate Canada at large, and Scott and Tessa were using Skate Canada officials/resources that are meant to be allocated to Skate Canada, not towards Scott and Tessa's personal concerns, some of which were manufactured.

You know the old stories in business and politics about why the hell is this egregiously incompetent person in an important job? So the department or organization becomes dysfunctional not just in the area of personal politics, but in getting anything accomplished? People interested in doing something find themselves stymied or logjammed because the person at the top had other agendas? Maybe they're having an affair with the big boss, maybe they're somebody's bosom buddy, trusted consigliere or maybe they make another contribution that has little to do with getting the job done and everything to do with a personal tie?

That's pretty much what it looked like for quite awhile there with Wilkes and Virtue Moir. Not to mention, all that Debbi's familiar, Barb MacDonald, cared about was pumping out Scott/Jessica sham drops and posing adjacent to the organization's stars. All Debbi cared about was putting herself and her teeth on skatebuzz and pasting herself to VM and their parents (mothers).

I don't think Scott and Tessa care much that Debbi Wilkes is a horrible interviewer. I don't think they care that she sucks up all the oxygen in a room, or that she's back there striking the pose while they're parroting sound bites to PJ.

But Alma and Carol and their families have been part of Skate Canada almost as long as Debbi. Their business is figure skating, not only as a regional club but as an ambitious club that they hope will launch more than just their own kids towards competitive careers on a national level. Their kids have coached juniors and other youngsters.

To have an important Skate Canada director be so public about acting as their kids' personal consigliere while doing jackshit for anyone else in the organization is a political liability. But that's what was happening. Debbi had the title of Director of Business Development and she did nothing but interview skaters and get in Scott and Tessa's sham business.

It looked bad once attention was called to this. And I think that's the only reason Scott and Tessa backed off from Debbi. It's not because Debbi is corrupt; it's because the association began to hurt the Moir brand as figure skating's biggest fans.

Now that Scott and Tessa have appeared to put some distance between themselves and Wilkes, Wilkes hasn't changed her way of doing business (her business is Debbi Wilkes) but at least Scott and Tessa can no longer be blamed. Debbi is now busy pretending that Gilles & Poirier are big, in demand stars, international audience favorites who are asked to perform in galas even after finishing far out of the running in the actual competition. She needs a star to manage and leach off because she doesn't do her director's job - that's just a title. As much of contemporary figure skating seems to be built on the philosophy that you no longer need to actually do or be something, just say you have or are, then Debbi and Barb are saying Gilles & Poirier are stars in order to excuse their star-fucking activities and neglect of real work. They're busy managing this totally spontaneous response to and demand for Gilles & Poirier.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Carmen accomplished this much, at least

This quote from Tatiana Tarasova is making the rounds:

Tessa Virtue - a diamond in figure skating. In a very expensive cut.
She’s the strongest technically among all current females in ice dance. She has unique, stunning skating skills. This is a real gift from God. — Tatiana Tarasova

As Scott has said, he and Tessa were both incredibly lucky to, among other things, be compatibly talented, to have their talent grow at the same pace. Scott has a way of moving on his skates that makes skating seem as natural to him as breathing or walking. You don't see the technique. In the past, some observers in the skating world have admired this so much they almost implicitly dissed Tessa as his talent sidecar. Also implicit was the idea that she was conventional compared to Scott.

I can hardly think of a less conventional ice dance sensibility, or a less conventional, more brilliant talent, than Tessa Virtue, despite superb, textbook-and-beyond skating technique.

While the ISU (and the judges at the Canadian championships) disgraced the sport in their scoring of Carmen vis a vis Notre Damethis past season, I think Carmen at least made it impossible for anyone to pretend Tessa was second to Scott or second to anyone.

There's a lot of pride that Scott and Tessa bring to their performances. That's not an excuse for the ISU judging system to pretend they don't see that Scott and Tessa are a million miles beyond Davis White every time they take the ice, that they should, as some observers in the comments sections have said, be able to absorb more than one mistake before they lose to a relatively "clean" Davis and White. They are as beyond Davis White as Yuna Kim is beyond most of her contemporaries and as Patrick Chan is beyond most of his contemporaries.

I believe the ISU and everyone else, including the USFSA, depends upon the ignorance among the skating public and media to pull this off, and also relies upon the idea that the skater or skating team who most strenuously begs the audience for approval and admiration is probably the skater who's doing the better job.

As anyone who looks at stills from SOI - or really stills from anything Tessa Virtue does - her ability to manage her body in space, her balance, her lines, her control, her awareness - is second to none. But I'd also look at how that body awareness and control enables stunning blade work. And then look at how Meryl's lack of control, stability and awareness negatively impacts her blade work - or prevents real blade work from happening (Charlie is no better on his feet than she is, but this is just comparing the women). I've never seen a pair of ice dancers who work around both dancing and skating as strenuously as Davis White. The moments of skating and/or dance are short-lived intersticials between filler and bullshit.

What happened last season is criminal.

P.S. Scott is, needless to say, in love with Tessa, proud of her, and supportive of her. So for the past many years when he's called her the best figure skater in the world, described himself as needing to keep up with her, called her his most admired athlete, people might believe it's out of love. He says it because it's true. He knows skating better, IMO, than most skaters competing today. He, better than anyone, knows what she's doing out there, knows what's obvious about her talent and also is well aware of the aspects of her skating that are both absolutely breathtaking and sail straight over people's heads because she's not begging the crowd for approval the second she does it. They've both got too much pride for choreographic exclamation points and underscoring that have no purpose but to encourage both audience and judges to believe they've done something great.

P.S. - too apt, Derek Hough is on "Just Jared" saying that Davis White taught him a trick he might do with Kellie Pickler on DWTs. Of course. What Davis & White do seldom has anything to do with skating skills. This is why they score so highly in pcs. Pcs don't mean anything more than the judges playing the politics card.