Saturday, January 18, 2014

Episode Three

Previously on Tessa & Scott
Tessa threw up because of nothing. coSondra's couch plotted escape. P. Chiddy bought a suit in New York and later noticed Tessa is insane.

Episode 3:

"Let's name this pumpkin 'Bryce.'"
Scott: "Those eyebrows are massive."
Cassandra: "Don't critique me, bitch."
"Life stuff gets in the way, things happen,
if you can't come to class, it's okay, try to catch
up on line, if you can't, that's okay, reach out if
you can to a classmate  to see if you've missed
anything; if you can't, it's okay."
You, too, honey.

I believe in caption consistency.
"I find I'm a lot more anxious, do you notice?"
"Am I supposed to?
I need a script here dude,
I don't know you that well."
"It's really challenging preparing for the Olympics
when I belong in a mental health facility."
"If he doesn't stop talking, I'm bashing
  this pumpkin in his face."
"ME me me me me me me.
Me me me me ME me me."

To be continued.

55 comments:

  1. I'm shocked you didn't screencap Tessa in class where the book on her desk is the PROCESS OF PARENTING! I mean, if there was ever a subtle f*** you to the blog there it was right there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This critique is sequential. We'll get there. :)

      Delete
    2. If I zoned out and passed over it, I'll stick it in there.

      Delete
    3. i think its pretty vain and paranoid to think that was a fuck you to the blog .... just my two cents

      Delete
    4. It's an FU to the reality that they have a child and fans have called it out. No vanity and paranoia required.

      Delete
    5. oc @ 6:41
      Agreed.

      I didn't want to believe the W Network went into this knowing VM's true status. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, that they were scammed by VM's lies and were an innocent participant.

      I can't believe that any longer. First because for all that they're a network that caters to b.s., it's still a given any "documentary" preparation will involve knowing everything there is to know about the chosen subject before moving forward. No surprises are acceptable.

      When the first episode ended with a very intentional and malicious sting, pretending Scott may be kissy-face greeting Tessa, but - bwahahaha - It's not Tessa! They showed their asses. It's been downhill since then, all the promos continuing to push the idea of "romantic and cute" Tessa and Scott when the episodes themselves go OTT out of the way to establish VM are SO SEPARATE they can hardly stand each other. In fact, they are bewildered how Kaitlyn and Andrew can live together and be together all the time. Not VM. Eww. They would snap! It's down the drain to years of interviews where they've said they do most everything together/they're together most of the time. Eh - forget about that. That's the old VM. The *real* VM can't wait to get away from each other (Scott to blow-up doll Cassandra).

      Now the camera fits in the title of Tessa's pshyc book. Please. There are hours and hours of footage they're editing for just a few minutes and somehow, by coincidence, one of the few seconds chosen to make it into the edit of Tessa in class includes showing *that specific* title?

      None of it is coincidence. This network is completely on board with Moirville's intentions and methods of hoaxing the public. I'm positive the TV people know it's all lies and they're having fun mocking the fans along with VM and Moirville. Harharhar - isn't it fun pulling one over on the public.

      I hope they end up paying for this somehow. All of them.
      Assholes.

      Delete
    6. @2:33.

      Really? They--VM, the network, and everyone else involved with the show--has paid enough for their disgusting amount of lying and hoaxing of the public?

      Delete
    7. You're kidding. Being screwed over in the scores and/or dealing with Tessa's injury gives them a pass in carrying out a huge, nationally televised hoax? I don't think so.

      I want VM to win in Sochi because they are hands down the best ice dance team ever. I still don't want them nor Moirville nor Skate Canada nor the Wnetwork to get away with this hoax.

      Delete
    8. Haha, 3:03 here. Me and 2:58 sharing a brain answering @2:33.

      I wonder if that's one of VM's excuses. They've suffered such injustice. They deserve the chance to play infantile, malicious lying games on the fans who love and admire them

      Delete
    9. What they are doing is not petty and not everyone "fucking lies" in the extreme, gross, calculating, manipulative manner that VM does. I wish no ill on them with their skating, but I sure as hell wish they get what they deserve when it comes to their lying. Difficulties with their skating career does not give them a free pass to act like assholes.

      Delete
    10. LOL. Stop being preachy? Your hypocrisy knows no bounds.

      Don't look now, 3:30 PM. Meryl Davis just walked by wearing a bindi and talking about how she and Charlie deserve to win the Olympics.

      Delete
    11. blah blah blah your are sanctimonious as the d/w fans maybe you should go join them

      Delete
    12. 12:04, this is a reality show, it's not a documentary. That's different. It's an entertainment network, not the news division. You have to watch this program with the same eyes and ears you use to watch commercials, because it uses the same tricks. 90% of it editing to make you positive something was said or confirmed that was only implied. For example, seldom do they actually pinpoint when they're doing something. They'll SHOW Scott and Tessa doing something, then afterwards Tessa will vo about how it's important to get away, and we'll see them do something else, so we assume that b followed a, but they never said it.

      If this were news, it would be problematic. It's entertainment.

      Delete
    13. Ah hahahaha, @4:16. You've resorted to name calling and sad attempts to compare those who call you out for your hypocrisy to D/W fans. You do a fantastic job at digging yourself into holes, thanks for the cheap entertainment.

      Delete
    14. you're welcome. frankly i had more fun watching you guys accuse the anon spamming every single post asking for OC on his/her thoughts about nats FD of being the same person of who whined about D/W's bollywood routine. hi-lar-ious. makes me wonder what will happen if OC ever turns off anon.

      Delete
    15. Makes me think you're showing your hand, 4:37. Next time, try harder to play offense. That attempt was weak.

      Delete
    16. LULZ. Still not trying hard enough.

      Delete
  2. LOL. These recaps are far more entertaining than the show, which is the same scripted bollocks each week.

    "We have issues, we're not a couple and we're not connecting when we're on W network cameras, I'm Tessa, afraid of everything, I'm Scott, my penis is angry and so am I, we might not win the gold medal in Sochi, blah, blah."

    Cut, print, repeat. It's so freaking boring.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Freaking boring is right. I'm still trying to understand how so many apparently think it's *so cute* (which part, where Scott is an asshole and controlling towards Tessa or where Tessa is his doormat?). Or thinking they're seeing *the real* Tessa and Scott.

    It's a freaking fanfiction with unappealing characters. IRL no one would want these kinds of freaks for friends. People must be responding to the fact that's it's TV (therefore it's true) and the charm VM always had in spades before this. That charm sure ain't evident anywhere on the show. And Cassandra comes across the same. As unappealing as a pile of bricks. Audience is supposed to think Scott prefers her to Tessa? That one ain't flying either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Their narrative consists of two things: we must tell the world we're not a couple and that our journey to the Olympics is rife with distress!

      Episode 1: We're not connecting, this is concerning. We're not a couple but everyone wants us to be.
      Episode 2: We're not connecting, this is becoming really concerning. It's at the point where the best thing for us is to GET AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER in order to feel human. Oh, and we're obviously not a couple.
      Episode 3: We're not connecting! OMG! Hey Kaitlyn and Andrew, can you tell us what it's like to live together because we're not a couple and usually want to kill each other and this is what we always talk about when we're having dinner with friends. Breakthrough moment in the changing room! But DAMN IT, Scott hurt his back! Our season could go down in flames like the Hindenberg! Can we make it through Skate Canada? Will this melt our frosty connection problem for good could it be the turning point we're still not a couple?

      Delete
  4. I finally watched the second episode and found it interesting that at HPC, the officials actually gave real criticism about the skating, making specific points about Scott's edges during the rotational lift, etc.
    It makes me wonder what went on at Champs Camp--did they say to Charlie, fling her harder! rock more on your blades to add excitement! whip her around the ice with lots of energy. I mean, how did that horrible SD ever make it past the USFSA? I feel like they just critique music and program choices so that they have music that carries them and programs the audiences can get into easily.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Audience is supposed to think Scott prefers her to Tessa? That one ain't flying either."

    Why not? Tessa is a basket case. She's been skating with Scott for 17 years and yet still can't handle when he gets stressed out? Cass comes off looking super low maintenance, and what guy doesn't want that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 10:16
      There's low maintenance and there's boring. Cass appears as someone with no personality at all. Fiery hot Scott - both the Scott known to fans in the last 5+ years and the reality show Scott - can be with someone like this without being bored out of his mind? Uh-huh. Riiiight.

      Delete
    2. "Fiery hot Scott"?? Are you trying to write fanfic or something?

      Delete
  6. "t makes me wonder what went on at Champs Camp--did they say to Charlie, fling her harder! rock more on your blades to add excitement! whip her around the ice with lots of energy."

    No. They told him (and Meryl) that Sochi gold is guaranteed and D/W's job is to keep healthy and not get injured. That's it. USFSA will take care of the rest.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey W, can we get some subtitles on Cassandra? Girl cannot enunciate to save her life.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oof, first a possible season-damning "connection problem" due to Scott's assholish temper and super sensitive Tessa's internalizing that anger and blaming herself, then a half-decent musically scored "heartfelt moment" gets them back on the same page, only to be once again possibly derailed by a freak back injury in training.

    Those script writers won't let these two kids catch a break!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It seems that Cassandra was at the Spaghetti Sochi night at the Ilderton Skating Club...no Tessa in the pics...may be now he want to skate with Cass ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 12:00 - Many fans have been speculating how far they're willing to go to insist their lies are true and to stick it to the fans. Looks like nothing is impossible.

      Or maybe there really is trouble between Tessa and Scott and Scott is now with someone else.

      Delete
    2. You're being shown what they want you to see.

      Delete
    3. Well at this point - who cares what's the deal with VM in terms of the relationship status. As long as they still respect each other - I'm fine with that. Also it will be interesting to see if Scott ends up coaching - where he ends up. I think he would be a good match with Krylova. Or perhaps he decides to go back to school. I just hope that whatever he decides to do - it's for his own best interest...

      Delete
    4. "As long as they still respect each other - I'm fine with that. "

      This show portrays Scott as anything but respectful to Tessa. It's not respectful to treat her like his property nor to take out his frustrations on her. Even the supposed apology in episode 3. That's an apology? Sorry I'm irritated, ok, let's get back to our regular dynamic - I get to tell you who to date and what to do.

      One of the biggest tells when VM lie is going overboard with the lies to the point of ridiculousness. That's what they've been doing on this show. They think they're going to prove forever they're not a couple and not even good friends so they're going to such extremes it ends up a caricature and not close to reality in any way.

      The more they push Cassandra the more it looks like a lie.

      Delete
    5. The deal with V/M's relationship status is that they're fucking with fan's heads via the show and their same old fallbacks - facebook and other social media. They are married with a child. That has not changed. Don't fall for their bullshit. What they're showing you is being done on purpose, and it isn't to give you any insight into their real personal life together. It's to take advantage of your interest (that they work very hard to foster), and fuck with your heads as a way to make money, be famewhores, and mock fans. That is it.

      Delete
    6. 1. What is being shown on the show is a bunch of scripted lies and over-exaggerated storylines. Look at how the show's narrative. It's the same basic script as almost every reality show: fake drama, ramped up for several episodes, momentary relief from that drama, only to be destroyed by another faked or highly exaggerated dramatic moment that has the potential to derail everything, etc., etc.
      2. Respect? V/M have no respect for their fans, but they certainly like their money.
      3. Someone on the V/M FB fanpage mentioned they could "feel what Tessa is feeling" in episode 3. I laughed. Unless that means they can feel Tessa's ability to badly act out a part she's playing and mock and hoax the public, they're not feeling what she's feeling.

      Delete
    7. I feel sad now because i still love them as skaters but I don't see the "magic" anymore...now for me they are only 2 wonderful athletes and nothing more. Even if what I see on tv is not real...that special something is gone...Am I the only one ?

      Delete
    8. the magic is gone bc of the stress of knowing they are being screwed over despite being the greatest ice dancing couple in the sport's history. I have watched all the programs and NOTHING NOTHING compares to them. they should be getting perfect marks even if they fall on their face simply for what they are attempting to do. it's incredible injustice to the sport not only VM and their efforts. they may suck as humans, I don't give a shit. but what they've done for this sport cannot be overemphasized. bolero? please. nothing else comes close to VM. I hope the Russians show some integrity and at least point out the fix at sochi. I hope tarasova or however you spell her name and co. do that. for the sake of the sport if not anything else.

      Delete
    9. The magic is gone for me because I know they're lying and in a huge way. It's hard to get into their skating and stay in it when they just keep amping up the lies.

      Delete
    10. Maybe their relationship is simply over and they are just pulling themselves together until the end of the season.
      Their interactions and body language have changed a lot since last season.
      Scott couldn't keep his hands to himself around Tessa, now he seems distant and weird around her.
      For a while it looked like he likes Cassandra a bit more than he should ( and he's not a good enough actor to fake this ) but now he looks bored around her. Maybe he actually did sleep with her and is now awkward around her and just wants to get away from her.
      Even the most devoted husbands can get weak if they are given the opportunity. And Scott has had enough opportunities.

      Delete
    11. At nationals, Tessa and Scott certainly weren't distant or weird around each other, nor did Scott seem to have any problems putting his hands on Tessa.

      During one practice, there were at least four different times I thought they were going to start cooing because of how happy they looked.

      Delete
    12. IA 1:44 its not v/m's magic thats gone its the magic of the sport all because of USFSA's politicking. who cares who v/m are and what v/m do outside of skating who cares if they're lying who cares if scott moir hates this event, if tessa like ayn rand etc. when you're as talented as vm it shouldnt matter. figure skating isnt a personality contest and it isnt about who is incorruptibly pure™ and whose life is riddled with scandals and who treats their fans better. its about who is the best skater and V/M are the best skaters.

      Delete
    13. Money isn't a problem for VM. They have plenty of it.

      Delete
    14. Stop, just stop. You're embarrassing yourself with that kind of speculation, 2:11 PM. It's what the Moirs and their ilk get off on. It's comical to them. They love to throw out all kinds of lies, half-lies, specifically posed photos, etc. to watch how the public reacts. They want people to question whether what they're seeing is real and they go to the most ridiculous lengths to do so.

      V/M haven't lost any "magic," if there was ever any there to begin with. It isn't magic that makes them spectacular skaters. It's years of the blood, sweat, and tears that comes from training to be Olympians with the help of a massive team around them. Their skating is more powerful than it's ever been before. They have more speed, deeper blade drive, and more preciseness than at any other time in their career. It's also not a kind of superhuman "magic" that has always been the reason they've connected so well on the ice. It's simply the way they're built and have grown together. It's not rocket science and it's not a mystery. Their skating is fine. If D/W weren't competing against them and being gifted marks, V/M would be winning every title with at least ten points to spare.

      The reality show is storyboarded, scripted, and everyone and everything caricatured within an inch of its life. The fake narrative is this: V/M, known for their chemistry, connection, and Olympic victory, want you to see the "real" them - the people that struggle. So they've taken what's real - the fact that an Olympic year is more stressful than most, and fabricated or overly exaggerated a series of struggles built upon that foundation. Such as, they've lost their connection! Oh no! This is devastating and potentially a season-ender because if they don't find it again, they'll lose the Olympics for sure! V/M are under a lot of stress, and both of them are having a hard time communicating that to one another. See how it plagues them? See how Scott gets angry? See how Tessa internalizes it? Poor V/M. Poor, poor them. Can they make it through this difficult time and emerge on the other side? Oh, the drama! But look! By the third episode, they're trying to get back on the same page but it's so hard you guyssssss. But they're getting there! Except, oh no! An injury to Scott! Another not at all conveniently placed set-back in the narrative! Can they make it through?!? Yes they can! And by the end of the series, they'll have miraculously located that lost connection and that fresh feeling will be back and everyone will be rooting for them to win the Olympics and also wouldn't it be great if they woke up and realized they're meant for each other? The fans can see it, why can't they? THE END.

      A twelve year old could write these scripts. It's possible a twelve year old DID write them, actually. STOP FALLING FOR IT. About 1-2% of what the public is shown is the real them, and they are acting out the parts whenever the cameras are on them, and that includes everything they do when they're at competitions when they're not actually skating their actual performances. Cassandra is playing a part. That is all she is doing.

      Delete
    15. You know about the Moirs - it makes me wonder if they act this way towards people other than fans. Such as people in Ilderton who aren't their groupies. I wonder how they feel about the Moirs using Scott and Tessa's gold medal to consolidate their power/status in the community, to make Ilderton synonymous with their last name.

      I don't know if I've ever, outside of musical theatre or soap opera, seen a single family be this overbearing in a single small town.

      Delete
    16. "I don't know if I've ever, outside of musical theatre or soap opera, seen a single family be this overbearing in a single small town."

      Almost everyone in the town is a Moir by marriage or by birth. Ilderton *is* synonymous with their last name.

      Delete
    17. That's really not true. There are a lot of Moirs in Ilderton but the town has other people. Are they contributing as much as they're taking, and do other members of the community like the trade off?

      Delete
    18. OC @ 5:25
      By all appearances the Ilderton community members, as well as all the surrounding communities, are very satisfied with the trade off of just being able to say Virtue and Moir belong to their corner of Canada. The cult of celebrity trumps all other considerations, down to lying and approving the liars.

      You gotta wonder if these people will ever look back without the VM-coloured glasses and be embarrassed or ashamed.

      Delete
    19. 9:39pm I definitely agree with you about the cult of celebrity throwing every other consideration overboard, not just in this instance (although here it's more undiluted and grotesque than in more diverse locales). But my experience is also that those who don't agree don't tend to push back but do articulate it among themselves, and I wonder if the worm will turn at some point down the line.

      Delete
  10. ""It makes me wonder what went on at Champs Camp--did they say to Charlie, fling her harder! rock more on your blades to add excitement! whip her around the ice with lots of energy."

    No. They told him (and Meryl) that Sochi gold is guaranteed and D/W's job is to keep healthy and not get injured. That's it. USFSA will take care of the rest."

    I have seen a lot of pictures with their moms getting cozy with the officials. makes you wonder....

    ReplyDelete
  11. "2. Respect? V/M have no respect for their fans, but they certainly like their money."

    How do V/M make money off their fans? I've been a fan for 10 years, but I haven't spent a dime on them, unless you count buying Crest toothpaste (which I've done for my entire life).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah they barely make money from us. their $$$ comes from sponsorships and winning competitions

      Delete
    2. They have a book, a reality show, and have signed endorsement contracts. Without public interest, none of those things would be possible.

      Delete
    3. "their $$$ comes from sponsorships and winning competitions"

      And where do you think that money comes from? Surely you aren't dim enough to think that public interest/fans don't drive both of those things, because that's exactly the case. You think V/M would make money from skating in shows if no one showed up to watch? That they'd make money off endorsement contracts if there's no public to extract ad revenue from? There was no one interested in purchasing their book? Watching their show, for which they surely get compensation and can use to build their brand? The money they make from skating and everything that goes along with it stems from the public to some degree or another.

      Delete
    4. I wonder how V/M are able to get sponsorships and shows in the first place. Watching the internet, it appears that they have about 100 fans who cross-post on every available website, but that's about it. Corus thought there was something worth spending lots of money on, so I guess there's something, but I don't see it.

      Delete
    5. Obviously, more than money is invovled. VM could do fine with money - they don't NEED money, but they could get more signing on with a legit sports agency.

      This is about power, insecurity, and ego. The usual perfect storm.

      Delete
  12. This is one of the most ridiculous places I've ever seen on the internet. I seriously hope that whomever wrote this can find more important things to, like being a contributing member to society.

    ReplyDelete