So, for Scott:
|The answer to your costume |
dilemma, you stud.
Also, extra reading:
Action Pants: Genital Panic
Among the general viewing audience, Scott and Tessa aren't famous. When that public tunes in, all many will know is Scott and Tessa won the gold in Vancouver in 2010. But traditionally, the public's interest in figure skating spikes during an Olympic year, and this is an Olympic year. And this is Scott and Tessa's introduction:
Let's meet Tessa & Scott:
They don't like their programs and their officials don't like their programs and they don't really like being figure skaters. Technically, they mostly suck - not only do they struggle executing key elements, they're barely motivated to try. They're kind of slow. TSA agents and airline passengers are more comfortable getting close, and certainly we've seen ice skating chimps with greater joy in performance. None of it matters anyway because the Americans are going to win.
Tessa, an Olympic and World champion, is a tedious, self-flagellating paranoid oppressed by skating, living, and breathing. She's counting the decades til the retirement community.
Her penis-endowed partner, Scott, alternates barely restrained impatience with exaggerated tolerance/pity, but mostly he's x-ing off the weekdays til he can sit on the couch with his mute, blank-faced girlfriend.
Don't you want them to kiss???!!!
For skating fans, it appears they're setting up excuses. "We're not going to win but we're over this skating deal anyway." "We're not going to win but I've got a wonky back, so..."
What a great idea for a show. They have to be breaking ratings records with this thing.