What if Scott and Tessa's changed their child's legal name to Ilderton Ontario Moir, and just continued using the child's current given name in private.
Last time Scott was in the Kiss'n'Cry after a complete program (the 4CC short dance) he thumped his chest so hard during his customary Ilderton shout out one of the microphones in the space reverbed.
It's going to be great to look back and see Ilderton - an entire town - carrying more status with your parents than you do.
This could be averted by changing the child's official name to Ilderton. The child would become an instant mascot for the paternal side of the family and a walking billboard of sorts - thus doing their bit for the cause (as if they're not already doing plenty with the whole "pretending you don't exist" bit). And Scott and Tessa could finally blow kisses to and acknowledge their own kid with nobody the wiser. Place names for children are very popular - look at all the Bronx's, Brooklyns, Indias, Montanas. I, personally, know a woman named Texas. "Ilderton" wouldn't be the worst.
Here are Scott and Tessa skating in Colorado in 2006. It's not their finest hour. It's not so much because of the errors. Scott handles Tessa like a sack of wet laundry, and the more they stumble, the worse he gets. It's like she disappears and he's just in his own stew. He leaves her hanging.
After Marina gives him what appears to be a meaningful look, she leaves them to receive their scores. While enduring the long wait for the marks, Scott is sullen, and Tessa valiently picks up the slack. Then she starts waving and blowing kisses to different friends, and Scott starts giving her names to add. It turns cute, and she pats his knee. The wait for scores is forever, and it's filled by saying hi to friends.
It's cute because they're so young. As they made their mark in seniors, they stopped doing the name-by-name shout out to school friends.
That's something mostly kids enjoy.