Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Child Free

The subject of their child is a little delicate for me, although I'm not sure why I feel that way considering little Quinn earned her sham enabler stripes before she even hit the basinet for the first time.

Will this be a fun family story for Quinn down the line? A fun bit of family history - the time Quinn played a role in Scott and Tessa's public career?

Or will it be forgotten as not important and sure to be completely uninteresting to Quinn, as it's been decided it must be for her cousin, Scott and Tessa's own, actual child. The child who is a non-person, up to and including Scott and Tessa's second Olympics. There's no shared experience, no name called out in the Kiss'n'Cry. The child doesn't exist.

Forever after, no matter how it's revised later on, for the contemporaneous record in the first years of this child's life, during mom and dad's historical career -  they didn't exist. They were never in mom's tummy. Event after event, a xygote turned quad spasm.

Mommy was a skater who spent most of her down time at school (so much for a public shout out to private reality for someone to treasure in years to come). 

And daddy? Well this kid can google til they go blind and not unearth a single piece of evidence that they existed in Daddy's world either back then, were part of things just like the cousins, friends and other relatives, who all have their public memento, experience, little piece of Daddy's public history.

You know who will also have their public memento, experience a little piece of public history while Scott and Tessa's child does not? A couple of relatively random girls photographed with and cooing all over daddy in public forums around the times of big, exciting Canadian competitions, proclaiming how they love him and miss him and can't wait to be with him, and daddy posed with them so the public can see. And a bunch of the girls' friends egging them on. The public can see, and YOU can see, because this will be on the web forever. But you can google yourself til you go blind and what will you see? Absolutely nothing. But those girls - those girls can show their grandkids! They were part of history.

You can show your own kids those girls too, when they ask where the hell you are in all of it.

Or you can cue up Grandma and Grandpa giving Aunt Charlotte and Quinn a shout out.

How important is it, really? Isn't private scrapbooking, private photos, private everything more important? Isn't it more meaningful to tell and explain how something was than to have something to show? Isn't it more important to talk about something years after the fact than to have evidence of having participated while it was happening?

If it were important then the other little girls - Quinn and Charlotte - would be acknowledged by Scott and Tessa in public. Instead, they're never mentioned. How did we even find out those two children exist? They're too young to really know what it means, so why bother giving them a Kiss'n'Cry shout out or talk about them in an interview? They're babies. That's why they, too, are non-persons and only have private record of their inclusion in the lives of their celebrated aunt and uncle. It's the private record that counts.

Oh, wait.

The fact that on the public record this child of Scott and Tessa's doesn't exist is interesting considering the public profile of the rest of the family.

Scott and Tessa's achievements and status in the skating world is such a source of pride that many of their nearest and dearest wanted to be part of it publicly.  It wasn't enough to feel the pride in their hearts. They wanted a record of it. Something to look at for years to come  - not just private video/private photos. They wanted public video/public photos, because that is more exciting. It makes it more special.

Scott and Tessa are not "out" as a married couple, but there's a near-infinite amount of public video, interviews, etc. preserving their achievements as a couple - the Olympic gold, the two world titles, the national championships. Of course there's plenty of private material, but the big stuff - winning, celebrating, achieving - is out there for all of history. There they are - together.

I figure Scott and Tessa have decided their child will be a Virtue. It's up to them - they're experts at influencing others by now. Why not their own kid? You shall be a Virtue. And not just any Virtue - you shall be like one of Tessa's camera-averse brothers.

You shall wind up extremely grateful you are a nonentity on the public record of your parents historical achievements.

So the child must be a Virtue at heart - or it's decided they will be.

For the Olympic free dance there was a network camera set up dedicated to filming the reaction of the Moir family. It was hovering up in the stands with them, in their faces. Those seats were jammed. The brothers. The sisters-in-law. For Canadian championships that preceded the Olympics, those people were likewise present, and more. Cousins. Significant others of the cousins. Plus. Represent!

You have to figure that if any of these people were interested in watching the free dance OFF camera, it could have been arranged. They were on camera because there they would be for posterity. They could point to it, show it to people, say - there I am.

Otherwise they could have joined Kate and Jordan. The Olympic family reaction in the stands after the free dance was all about the Moirs. Kate and Jordan got one reaction shot during the compulsory dance, but for the main event they were there, but kept their faces off camera.

So it can be done. Of course, if it's important to you to have your presence recorded for posterity, then you're where the camera is.

So this kid - it's decided the child will be a Virtue.

For Moirs, if it's not fun to be part of it all - to hear your name on TV, then why do Scott and Tessa call out to Quinny and Charlotte? It's special. You feel included. Did these babies even register what Scott and Tessa were doing the first time they did it? Doubtful. Bet the parents were thrilled though. Will the girls look back later and appreciate it? Sure they will.

If none of this mattered, then when people win Oscars they wouldn't call out to their kids. Why do that? Their kids know who they are! They know mom or dad loves them. Hell, if mom blows a kiss they might even "understand' that the kiss is for them.Who needs to hear their name or see themselves? They already know they're important. Why do they need their name called out on stage at the Academy Awards? They'll get to touch the Oscar at home!

But the parents do it anyway, don't they. Just like Scott and Tessa shout out Quinn and Charlotte.

It's special like Charlie White putting his niece on instagram or on facebook. It includes them. It's especially important to be included when your parents are a big big deal. I think Katia Gordeeva understood that when she included her young daughter in so many projects after her fame exploded. It's not famous mommy and ordinary you. You're part of it. You're sharing in the whole thing. You were there. Her daughter didn't grow up to be a famous skater but I think what Gordeeva did was a smart way to manage the height of her fame when her child was a little girl. Her child wasn't an observer. She participated.

You'd think this would be something someone from Ilderton, like Scott, would understand, considering how many Ildertonians aren't even children but still want the public acknowledgement of their participation in Scott and Tessa's story. They're not saving it to talk about later. They want to be able to show it off now. 

It's interesting that this part of things has been weighed - presumably - and the complete erasure of this kid from their parents' public history - a history that can't be recreated or reassembled or plugged in later - that history is all about the moment, all about the now - and then gone - has been decided.

A part of the child's entire life - the child's own history and what the child can show their own children - has been basically taken away, even though everyone else in the family gets it to be part of it in public and it's something they all share. And the new generation has already been recruited. Except for one who is outside the whole thing.

Scott and Tessa's public history and accomplishments loom as such a monumental event in the lives of all these people that we have, among other stuff, this public sham as a record of the importance it plays in their lives and personal histories.

And only their own child is the outsider, a non participant, slated for, at best, long after the fact acknowledgement, but absolutely nothing on the public record acknowleding their existence in the first three years of its life.


  1. My heart absolutely breaks for that little one when it comes to this aspect. Actually, when it comes to the entire sham, this is the part that makes me the most angry.

    The little one is only two now. It doesn't know what's going on. Someday though, it will know what happened, and it's inevitable that it's going to hurt.

    1. For me it's more that they will look back to a time they don't remember "when I was a baby" - "When I was little" - which happened to be an exciting and historical time for their parents. Every relative, family friends, fake girlfriends, and this child's young cousins will have been publicly acknowledged by Scott and Tessa in the middle of their historical career. Quinn and Charlotte aren't going to remember any of this - why are they getting shout outs?

      Because it's something to remember! It's something to keep - show their own kids or their friends!

      The Academy Award analogy is absolutely valid - the kids of the award winners - particularly the major award winners - are already acknowledged in private. They don't just get to see the parent on stage or TV - mom or dad comes home, toting the Oscar with them, and the kid can hold it.

      Yet the parent always says the child's name. Whether the kid is newborn or in high school. It's FOR THE KID. It helps blur the separation between special/famous parent and child who is loved but it's not really his/her gig. It's the parent who is special. Say the child's name out loud, acknowledge them, the KID becomes special.

      I don't mean to harp on Gordeeva as I do but she was also extremely private and probably more genuinely resentful of fans and public obligations and the attendant hypocrisies than Scott and Tessa really are. However, she wasn't a hypocrite herself. She had the balls to live her life, instead of running games on all the people she found a pain in the ass. And when she was extremely famous - a gorgeous young widow who positively glowed with an aura of innocence who became a commercial commodity and a subject of fan fascination - she had her kid in her projects with her. I know it was so her daughter, when mom was most intensely in the spotlight, could be more than an observer. Kids try on their parents clothes, shoes. TV and publicity and interviews and video are as much a part of Scott and Tessa's lives as figure skates. Everybody in their lives on the Ilderton and Moir side appears to not just want, but need to have their own piece of it, to participate in it.

      But their kid can do without. I just can't imagine going through archives of my parents and seeing every single person I know and some I don't (like the girlfriends), or watching some interview my mom gave when I was two and she acts like she's not even a mother.

      It kills me. But of course, they know better and none of this will matter to the child. The child won't have the same needs as kids of Oscar winners, or as the daughters of Danny and Charlie. Their kid will be above that sort of thing.

  2. This whole thing becomes so disgusting when you consider that a child is involved. Are they truly not thinking of the future or do they simply not care.

    1. I believe original bad decisions escalated, and Scott and Tessa felt their plate was too full to go back and unweave the web, and they were focused on their goals - which included the acheivement of going back and winning worlds after having a baby they kept from (the official) world. Those things probably seemed hugely important. I can't imagine though, deciding that it's okay for your kid to be a non-person when you skate an Olympics, when you become a national champion. If both families were private it would be one thing but the Moirs and the Ilderton/London connections are all over this and Scott especialy has made a point to distinguish his nieces when he can. Perhaps he feels his own kid has the greatest distinction of all being kept apart and by virtue (so to speak) of being his own kid, but if that were the case, then the children of people who are enjoying incredible success would be kept out of the way while the lesser relatives enjoyed the more shallow spoils of glory but that's not how it works. It's their own children that most people bend over backwards including in public. In public is very important when the parents "belong" to the public in some way. It lets the kid in. And I simply don't believe it's going to be a good thing for this child to look back and see themselves erased from their parents lives while the parents included everybody else, including ostentatious displays with fake girlfriends. Of course the kid will understand. Of course they'll be told it makes them all the more special. Of course they'll be thrilled mom and dad never mentioned them in all those winning and competition interviews and in all those Kiss'n'Cries. It's basic psychology that they're teaching Tessa at Windsor. She must be getting straight A's.

    2. Scott mentions his nieces enough that you'd think they were his own children. Maybe that's how they'll spin it to their child, "See, whenever I mentioned Quinn and Charlotte, I really meant YOU!" Cue the kid rolling their eyes. Whatever, Dad.

    3. It's part of their bullshit - they're smarter than us. Would I mention my neices and ignore my child? Of course not. I can't possibly have a child!

      That's just wonderful, Scott.

      Let's hope the kid never grows up to be a figure skater of any consequence. Because the profile of the kid would include the famous parents and it would be a big blank where the heart warming "Hi honey!" is supposed to be from the parents' Kiss'n'Cry.

      I'm sure Scott and Tessa have it covered and their child will grow up reacting precisely as they've decided their child should react.

      Of course I suppose it's possible that Charlotte or Quinn is not actually the name of one of the neices, and they get around it that way, but then that would elbow out one of the neices.

    4. I suspect that you're well aware of the gender of the child and yes, it's all part of their misdirection. They wouldn't possibly be so callous.

      If either Quinn or Charlotte isn't the niece's name, I'm going with Charlotte being the most likely suspect.

  3. "But their kid can do without. I just can't imagine going through archives of my parents and seeing every single person I know and some I don't (like the girlfriends), or watching some interview my mom gave when I was two and she acts like she's not even a mother."

    I can't imagine either. I've thought about what it would be like if my parents had been elite level athletes during my early years. I can't imagine them not acknowledging my existance or what it would feel like to look back and know I'd been left out on purpose. There's no amount of explaining in the world to make someone feel better about being left out like that. It's something there's no way to go back and fix either. What's done is done. They could start doing better now, but they won't.

    They're damaging this child. It's delayed damage for sure, but damage nonetheless.

  4. "to look back and see themselves erased from their parents lives while the parents included everybody else, including ostentatious displays with fake girlfriends."

    This is truly disgusting.

    Someone upthread asked if they just don't think of consequences or they don't care. It looks like it's both. The here and now is all about their NEED for barriers. Facing their real life with maturity doesn't seem to enter into the equation at all. They hide and that takes care of things. Or so they think.

    It also doesn't look like they care what anyone thinks about the fake displays of affection, or how they come across. When you realize they've been doing this for 5+ years now, it's obvious a conscience doesn't come into it. It's about their perceived NEEDS, not what's right or wrong.

    1. They're pragmatic. Right and wrong is situational to them. We all live like that but there are boudaries, of course. And I also think if you have a reasonably developed conscience you don't muddy up the two more than necessary. That's the thing with them. The degree of overkill. They go way over what's required. In fact, switch out facebook for twitter and you've got this at Jessica levels, with Cassandra's productivity and content on twitter. It's juvenile. Right and wrong is way second to them. What's first is being better than you.

    2. I don't think they think "hiding" takes care of things. They are poor hiders. If hiding was what they're doing then they'd do a better job, and a whole lot fewer fans and outsiders would know what was up. There's no need for them to hide. They're not recognized that frequently away from a skating rink.

      There's something a whole lot more rank going on. This is a game they're running. It meets their perceived needs but hiding isn't part of it, at least not hiding from fans. Keeping people occupied with schemes when those people might otherwise be clamoring for more of your personal time and attention - and your wife's - does seem to be part of it.

      One also wonders - if they became official and on the record, it might unhinge the traps of some of the folks at home who would feel liberated to talk on the record, in legit media or otherwise on the internet. As a "source" of course. Or "a friend." Or "a local".

      Scott and Tessa might find that some of their community acquaintances start flapping their jaws. As long as it's a "secret" that these people feel they're in on (as opposed to all the people who are being fooled), they can head that off.

      Of course Ilderton isn't the only community that can talk. Once Sochi is done a whole lot of figure skaters are going to retire, including Scott and Tessa. Once that happens, it's possible and even likely that those who have retired (which includes peers of Scott and Tessa from around the world) will feel liberated to unburden themselves, even if it means filling in or making up some of the stuff they don't know. That seldom stops anyone.

  5. How come when I open this blog page I only see the latest entry and none of the other recent entries?

    1. Because the entry is long and the other recent entries have been pushed to a previous page. Just scroll to "older post".

  6. How long after 2014 will the lying last? Do they think everyone will just be ok with it when they come out with the marriage/kid?

  7. Where did this whole them having a kid come from? Did I miss something?

    1. Probably came from when Tessa gave birth a little over two years ago?

  8. First .. even if the world does not know that they are together as they can come out with a child? second .. but if you were two famous parents you the feel of throwing the media a little kid who has nothing to do and they definitely do not understand what they are doing? no! I would have done the same. the media must be interessed of their skating not of their son! and if the child was not in good health? what happened to tessa to 4cc, as usual, is very doubtful, if the child does not feel good? now it suits them just to tell the whole truth to the end .. all together

  9. I don't see them ever admitting to anything.
    As long as they have silly friends willing to play fake SO roles, with the applause of family and friends, why bother changing the story? This has been most convenient. No one around them seems to hold them to responsible, mature standards.

    If there's a child, I doubt there's anything wrong. They're just hiding and lying, with the support of everyone ariund them. Like always.