Saturday, July 16, 2011

Welcome Back Jessica

It's the off-season. In the area of blog on-topic, off-season could be spent creeped out by the ongoing facebook presentation which continues disturbing, and which, sickeningly, no longer affects only Scott and Tessa, and hasn't for some time. (Ask Anthony Weiner and the little weiner he and Huma Abedin have in the oven. Post Weiner-gate, every reporter on the planet lectured him for not understanding that the internet is FOREVER and his choices would be little weiner's problem too one day.)

Grade school kids go online. Grade schoolers in years to come will go online, see the pictures, and comment to a fellow student too young to comfortably explain. I know I'd love discovering how, in my infancy, my dad had been in the news as attending my uncle's wedding with some woman other than mom, a woman said to be dad's girlfriend, while I didn't exist and mom pretended to be off in Spain all by her lonesome. And would I ever appreciate my friends' ability to eyeball archives of the "gf"'s copious love yous, amoreuxs, mon chums, j taimes, heart emoticons, winks, bfs and m'ennuies aimed at daddy for the entertainment of thousands, stored for eternity on hard drives; the many many tasteful Punta Cana romantic getaway photos which sit in the computer storage of countless fans; and the "gf"'s 2009 My Year facebook collage, which can be found most anywhere. And there's dad's endearing published remark that his "gf" finds it annoying when people think he's with my mom. Oh yeah.

(Oh - goes without saying -  the pride I'd feel watching video of mum and dad's historic Olympic triumph, its run-up and aftermath, some other lady in the camera's face purporting to be Daddy's woman.)

The foresight - it impresses.

Danny Moir married in Mexico, but Tessa says she went to Spain. Okay. Set aside this blog's perspective expressed above and below, and consider just this - why would any Virtue admit to attending Danny Moir's wedding? If Tessa attended - how suspicious! I mean, it's not like the younger Virtues grew up with the Moirs as family, it's not as if Danny Moir, most especially, was ever tight with any non-Tessa member of the Virtue family, and it's not as if he was a significant influence in both Tessa and Scott's life from their childhood til now. It's certainly not as if both Virtues and Moirs have ever continually emphasized their family ties, highlighted most especially in that inventive chronicle, Virtue and Moir: Our Journey From Childhood Dream to Gold. Besides, that memoir, like all their public output, is a combination of inartfully rearranged truth and complete crap. So, pshaw. Why would Tessa attend Danny's wedding?

If Tessa were on record as a wedding guest, some might think Tessa and Scott were together. I mean - it's training break! They are never near each other during training break. Not even for Danny freaking Moir's wedding. The only reason they're together constantly the rest of the year is they're ice dance partners. The second training break hits they immediately let it be known they will not so much as breathe the same air for an instant in their haste to be continents apart.

The paranoia - it staggers. It overwhelms everything - consistency, a coherent public narrative, common sense.

Even with the release of yet another appalling un-couple photo-op (or two) establishing Jessica's presence, the public could not for a moment be allowed to think Tessa attended Danny's wedding. What the hell do we think this is - August (Leanne Moir)? Tessa only attends Moir weddings in August (Charlie Moir)!

This mindset long ago crossed the line from image management to crazy town.

Would Scott have enjoyed any of this as a kid, awareness that his mom had pretended to be with someone other than Joe in Punta Cana, and in many other odious photos, as well as in other high profile media imagery for the world to see? His dad pretending to be with someone else? His parents continually denying each other in public more than Peter denied Christ?

Was it assumed all of this material would disappear once the perceived need was past, simply by restricting (but not really) facebooks after the horse had left the barn? Is that why their prolific photographic output and revolting content rivals that of a sham relationship wire service? Which continues even after someone else is involved, somone who will feel it years from now? Let's hope the someone doesn't grow up the sensitive type, but genetic odds are against it.

Oy. I thought this post was going to say that as it's summer, the blog could turn a bit of attention to Jessica's comeback, but - the other stuff just comes out. Scott and Tessa may be Olympic champions, but in the face-saving department, they're more spineless than many ordinary people. Most people lack Scott and Tessa's excruciating, and, IMO, destructive self-consciousness. Or inability understand that when it comes to advice-heeding, experience does not equal competence. A whole bunch of mediocre figure skaters, corporate lawyers and coaches/judges elevated to the Skate Canada bureaucracy does not render them capable in business development, public relations, marketing and social media strategies, no matter how many years of experience they have fucking it all up. This is intuitive - you don't see many USFSA figure skaters at any level joining up with their Fed like mindless automotons - they pay lip service, but where it counts, they use their brains. Then there's Scott and Tessa, a couple of rote-ishly obedient skate bots, striving year after year to achieve straight A's in a curriculum designed by quacks.

Okay, I think that's out of my system for the moment - it's been awhile.

Let's say hi to Dube/Wolfe. Jessica and Sebastien have won a summer competition in Liberty, Pennsylvania. Per one report:
The new team of Jessica Dube and Sebastien Wolfe made their debut in the pairs free skate. The nerves showed for Wolfe, who struggled on lifts, but their jumping elements were strong.

Jumping element.
Pre-novice run-through
Jessica/Sebastien executing lift popular with tiny pairs girls
goofing around outside bars when they're really drunk.

Second lift - exciting variant.
Third lift.
When this pairing was announced, Annie Barabe remarked that immediately she was struck by Jessica and Sebastien's power and matching lines. Bryce struggled with his flexibility. Not so, per Barabe, Sebastien:
So there's that.
Before Bryce's injury, Jessica and Bryce had reportedly enhanced the difficulty of their death spiral. It didn't go so well when they unveiled their short program in last summer's competition, but no doubt this was owing to a partnership past its sell-by date wreaking havoc on Jessica's morale. While Jessica and Sebastien:
There she is.
Gosh darn that Wolfe and his nerves.

Any slip-ups are down to Sebastien, as he, like Bryce, is the inferior partner. (Per fsu, the way to tell the inferior from the better partner is leg lines.) 

Finally, we recall that at the time she ended her partnership with Bryce, Jessica announced she was making a lot of changes. This amounted to staying in the same place, with the same coach, training in pairs and aiming towards the same goals, but producing a lesser product. On the upside, more time for One Tree Hill reruns and runs to Starbucks. It also represents the restoration of the rightful order, which is Jessica as the acknowledged stronger, more accomplished partner. It was getting a little uncomfortable with Bryce - him musical, dynamic and consistent, her a sack of wet cement. So, phew.

Post-Liberty she and Annie expressed hopes for Skate Canada, a podium finish at the 2012 Nationals, and that D/W would receive international assignment(s) in the upcoming competitive season. And she's continuing in singles. And surely none of us doubt that Jessica will fulfill her announced intention to attend Montreal's Concordia University this autumn, with a concentration in "communications". She's sure to be a natural.


  1. I'm sorry but I'm really not clear on the point that you're trying to make. You seem to talk in circles and never directly state anything.

    I don't have a problem, per se, with this blog and I think you have every right to state your opinions on the whole Jess/Scott/Tessa mess but I wish that, just once, you'd come out and say whatever it is you mean to say!

  2. Can't we wait a while before deciding what kind of team D/W will be, whether good or not? It's too early to pass judgment. It could very well be that Sebastien rises to the challenge and becomes a very good pairs' partner. I agree that Jessica came across as crass and insensitive in her breakup with Bryce but I'm willing to wait and see if she and her new partner will gel together.

    To the previous Anon -
    So this blog writer has every right to state her/his opinions, except she/he should do it differently?
    There has been so much indignation directed at this blog writer you would think it's because things have been laid out quite clearly.

  3. Thanks second, anon.

    I think my point was that - Sebastian may well rise to the occasion, but Jessica remains Jessica. That's clear from this initial outing.

    My comments on Wolfe's nerves were actually sarcastic - Jessica is losing edges, blowing basics and skating in a desultory manner just as she did in her waning days with Bryce. I think Wolfe did fine for an initial outing, especially since apparently he's only skated pairs for 3 or so years.

  4. My point was that while it's obvious that the author believes that Scott and Tessa are involved in a relationship and that the thing with Jessica is a sham, she (or he, whatever) still goes around and makes cryptic remarks about things. If you have some sort of proof that Scott and Tessa are together/Tessa's pregnant/Jessica truly is a mean, horrible and nasty person, please feel free to share it!

    Also, I'd love to hear more about David Pelletier. *eye roll*

  5. Okay, I see that you've edited the entry to make it a tad clearer - thank you for that. Just one question though, when the heck did Tessa have time to go through nine months of pregnancy and give birth to Scott's baby? Even though they weren't competing for most of the previous year, they were still appearing in photos and on video. She gained a bit of weight, yes, but never once did I think she looked pregnant.

  6. I can't believe people are commenting remotely seriously here. The blogger is clearly a crackpot if he is seriously trying to pass off the "Tessa was pregnant and gave birth to Scott's child" thing as reality.

  7. Glad to see you back Oy Canada, you always give me something to think about!

    When All that Skate was broadcast, the pregnant thing actually crossed my mind because I thought she looked so glowy - and then soon after the surgery news exploded and there were a few rumours, which actually surprised me because I hadn't taken my hunch too seriously. BUT then I watched closely at her subsequent appearances and she never seemed to get big enough, so I figured it couldn't be true - until I found this blog and now I don't know what to think. How did she possibly skate at that show in December?

  8. Last summer, in an IFS magazine interview, Tessa and Scott said they were each part of each others' families. It's been a while since I read it, but if I'm not mistaken Tessa's words were something like, "Scott is as much a part of the Virtue family as I am a part of the Moir family."

    It's extremely bizarre that Tessa, or anyone from the Virtue family, would not be in attendance at Danny Moir's wedding. If Tessa supposedly doesn't care who Scott dates, then why wouldn't she be there and who cares if she is shown in the pictures?
    (It's not like she's there as Scott's date, right?)
    And isn't Scott on record saying that whoever he dates must love Tessa as much as he does? Why then is it so freaking important to make sure everyone thinks Tessa and Jessica can't possibly be at this kind of event at the same time?
    Do Jessica and Tessa really not like each other very much? (If so, Why?)

  9. "The paranoia - it staggers. It overwhelms everything - consistency, a coherent public narrative, common sense."

    Finally! I have been waiting to find a way to articulate the style of this blog. What the hell are you ever talking about? I'm not even a Scott & Tessa fan but I find it fascinating how you are able to manipulate absolutely every event in the Scott/Tessa/Jessica drama to fit you views. Your conspiracy theories would hold a lot more weight if you had even an ounce of substantial evidence to back up them up. Instead, your claims are clouded by your paranoid instistence that Scott and Jessica's relationship is a "sham" and your blatant hate of Jessica. Your fantasy about being Scott and Tessa's child was quite entertaining though..