This post was going to have title like "Live by the scores, die by the scores", or "How does it feel, Charlie White?" by way of sticking it to Charlie White for going through a little bit of a Virtue Moir experience on DWTs. Not only is he getting screwed in the scoring despite blatantly outdancing the leader, who isn't dancing at all, not only are his scores suppressed in favor of somebody the judges shower with tens no matter how awful she is, but that somebody is his own ice dance partner. It's like, look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair! And look what you hath wrought, Charlie White!
Except I doubt it goes that deep.
But then I saw Meryl's "salsa," where she "danced" with an entire troupe, a dance which consisted of stomping around the floor on bent knees, being flipped and held up like a marionette by Maks while groping for her footing (watch, she gropes for her footing), and where the "troupe" was configured at the top of the dance to hide Meryl's ass. You'll see that part. It was terrible. When someone is that terrible, that's the headline.
To spare myself gifing every single second, because it's so bad every second should get its own gif, and I'd be here all night, I saved it in slow mo, so Meryl's fabulous form, rhythm, control of her body in space and sense of balance can get the showcase it deserves. Yes, rhythm in slow mo. When someone with rhythm is in slow mo, the tempo has changed, but you can still see the rhythm.
And now I'm off to gif my favorite parts, as soon as we get this out of the way:
Someone on one of the discussion sites called Meryl's dancing "masterful." It's another triumph of narrative over eyesight (something Virtue and Moir themselves exploit off the ice, which I'm going to post about later).
|Walk walk walk walk push and walk walk walk.|
She's a born dancer.
The challenging skipping part of salsa.