noun: farce; plural noun: farces
a comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations.
synonyms: slapstick comedy, slapstick, burlesque, vaudeville, buffoonery
These two improved seven points in a week. Just amazing. Better scores than Virtue Moir got when competing Carmen and most of this season.
I want to know why it's okay to criticize the hell out of the ladies competition, but nobody can criticize ice dance (Yes, I know - because Russian). And why it's okay to insinuate (or immediately uncover and publicize) iffy shit about the judges on the ladies panel (including names and history) but turn a blind eye to the judges on the dance panel. It's amazing how, when there's the correct agenda in place, some of the otherwise obtuse members of the media immediately get hold of useful information.
When it's not convenient, nobody knows anything.
Nobody, meaning, nobody in skating, except Beverly Smith (and she has her lips zipped about the judges on the dance panel). Virtue and Moir's various dramaturgs in the media have attempted to state the case, but these feeble efforts carry no weight, because they they can't back up their complaints with relevant specifics, because they undermine their case (by saying DW are a great team, because they're unable to see for themselves what DW are and aren't doing on the ice), because don't know what the relevant specifics are, and that's because in all of their years covering skating, they've never set out to learn - for themselves - about what constitutes skating technique, which means recognizing what is and isn't going on at blade level, which means recognizing that what the media pretends is "style" (carriage, extension, detail) is, at the highest level, actually a form follows function attribute that further establishes superior technique. So, not knowing what they're talking about means even VM partisans enable the destructive narrative at the root of all of this, which is that DW are great but VM are merely better.
No, Davis and White are NOT great. It's not that Virtue and Moir are simply on an even higher plane of great. Davis and White are NOT great. They're not good for ice dancing. Their innovation as regards this sport is that they've bastardized skating and dance, and thereby officially defeated real dancers and skaters. Through Davis White, the sport has stripped skating and ice dancing of their actual meaning, and turned established, objective criteria for superior skating inside out. In fact, they've dispensed with real criteria completely, and used the protocols as cooked books.
If any of these people taking up for Virtue and Moir knew anything about skating, they'd be able to say so. Or maybe they all harbor ambitions of working down south someday, or making useful U.S. contacts, and don't want to rock the boat. That's not something the U.S. media worries about when it comes to Canada. They've taken pot shots at Virtue Moir for four years while the Canadian media sits on its hands, or assures us Davis and White are fabulous but Virtue and Moir are slightly better.
The magnitude of what the ISU did in awarding Davis and White Olympic gold months and months ago completely escaped the media that has been half-heartedly wondering if the scores were unfair. It happened directly under the media's noses, and the media was unable to know what they were seeing when Davis and White were on the ice. If the media understood anything, it would see what happened was unprecedented. It was a huge skating hoax, it was corruption on a breathtaking scale, and it was in front of our faces, in plain sight.
But those who cover the sport don't know the sport, and the sport has a culture that is not about sport, but about favor trading, personalities, relationships, favor currying, fear, manipulation and juicing results. All of it is allowed to happen because the media enables it by not educating itself - for itself, as said above - and as anyone can do - about skating itself.* And apparently this culture cows even the knowledgeable, like Beverly Smith. She kept her mouth shut after the GPF, as did a whole bunch of people who only dared say something when the Olympics were here, when anything they said wouldn't impact the narrative or inconveniently change any angles from which the media reported the competition.
That's not accidental, that those who spoke out at all, waited until it would have no impact on the competition, and because it didn't impact the competition, wouldn't somehow imperil their position in the sport.
The lack of logic in even casual commentary is unbelievable too, and goes unremarked. How can someone say Virtue and Moir have the best skating skills in the world and not address that they lost every skating skills component to Davis and White? How they say that one simple thing - like throwing them a bone - but in a manner that suggests it's an attribute or consolation prize, and not the fucking thing itself?
For those few in the comments section who still wonder how come Virtue and MOir haven't been busted, connect the dots. There's as much willful ignorance among the media as there is in the fandom. Everybody's out for themselves, not wanting to cause waves.
Nobody's delivering real information here. You can't write meaningfully about something you don't know for yourself. If you don't know for yourself, then you're just recycling the spin of your choice. That's all we've got with figure skating. Of course, it's also true that in skating, if you do know something for yourself, and everybody else knows the same thing, but isn't saying, you follow suit.
|Scott getting his scores.|
New York Times on Skater's Images
"Myra Klarman, a photographer based in Ann Arbor, Mich., who took the photos, says she does not usually accept to-be-wed couples as clients, so she was surprised when the skaters contacted her. She considered it a positive when Virtue and Moir told her they were not actually dating. 'I don’t want to do kissy-kissy pictures,' Klarman said."Now Virtue and Moir were about to be wed when they posed for her for the second time. However, the above is phrased oddly because it says she doesn't do engagement photos, so was surprised when Virtue and Moir contacted her, and that phrasing suggests she knew or thought they were engaged, otherwise, why would she be surprised?
In her summing up of the ice dance free dance, Lynn Rutherford originally knocked two points off Virtue and Moir's score, because she's objective like that.
Scott's quote re Davis & White's scores:
“They wanted us to watch [Davis-White skate and the score] for TV, so we gave them a little show, a smile and a hug,” Moir said. “We’ve done our reality shows; we know how to work the camera.”Okay then Scott. Glad we all spent time listening to you and Tessa discuss how sincere you guys were on camera for your documentary.
I'd love a tour of their brains. Just to find out if it's wind whistling through the empty spaces, or it's Little Shop of Horrors.
Now this quote - I'm on board:
- Scott: "After we lost at the Grand Prix Finals, it fired us up and we went back and watched the tapes and did our homework, and we had to go to Marina a couple times and say "Hey, if they're getting points on this, we need to get that, we wanna win hands down." We felt like we did that, and that's what you have to do as an athlete and now I can sleep at night."Fuck yes. They won the Olympics hands down.
Scott appears to have gotten to know Tessa better since the reality show.
I love the snark on Hall & Oates, but that's also what's so obnoxious about them. SHOVE something down our throats, push it in there, stomp it a few times, make sure it stays down, then stand aside and make fun of the stuff they just sold us. Here, it's Tessa's starry-eyed, white wine sipping Hall & Oates loving self. They can't stand behind the shit they do. Once they've offloaded it onto us, they want to discard it themselves. It's so bizarre. If it's good enough to sell to us, why do they later disavow it like they're embarrassed about it in front of us? Those impulses don't go together.
I also believe this - that with the amount of narrative pushing Davis and White did this season - Davis & White know the judging is fixed. Otherwise they would know it was skating versus skating. They knew it wasn't skating versus skating. Every single thing they did this season and last, particularly in how it departed from the way they'd previously presented themselves, showed they knew the narrative was what counted, and that was okay with them. In fact, a quote from the NY Times article linked above:
Tessa and Scott did the opposite. They went out of their way to project an alienated, contentious image, two people who went their separate ways off the ice, who struggled to communicate, and had nothing in common. They figured they could get away with it because their skating was up to the task.But year-round and off the ice, several teams have embarked on campaigns to project an image of unity. The result is a bounty of photographs, some shot and posed professionally, and a fire hose of social media images of the pairs palling around in a couple-y manner as extensions of the on-ice personas they hope will lead them to the podium.While some Olympic figure skating and ice dance couples are romantically involved, most are not. Some are friends. Some are siblings. Some are talented athletes who like to skate together.
Do Davis and White believe they had to campaign this season and last, appropriating everything and the kitchen sink into their narrative of soul-to-soul connection and "near greatness", leaving no stone unturned, because they feared without the right narrative, their superior skating couldn't beat Virtue and Moir's inferior skating? Or did they think this was how you win the gold medal - off the ice as long as you stay on your feet on it - and it was fine with them? A gold medal is a gold medal, even if it's not for your skating. It's a reward for all the work you've put in, all the money and time your parents have put in.
I don't think they're so deluded as to believe it's the former.
I enjoyed this from twitter re Tessa:
justinlam45: SHE GOES TO MY SCHOOL!!I thought she strolled the halls talking class discussion, trips over herself when she sees a cute boy, and basically just needs school really badly for that balance Scott doesn't have.
MIND OVER MATTER @thanhphungg: GET HER AUTOGRAPH FOR ME PLS
justinlam45 @thanhphungg: Yeah but i think no ones ever seen her. LOL
Someone claims that "everybody shut up and took it" when Virtue Moir beat Davis White in Nice. No, people didn't shut up and take it. DW partisans whined all day long, including in one article where Davis White themselves participated. And furthermore, Die Fleudermaus was a hopping, running, flatfooted, skidding, flailing, posing, and two footed mess, and Virtue and Moir deserved to win in Nice, so no.
Finally, while I will put my hand on the exact quote later, I believe Scott said something along the lines of "Who knows what direction our relationship will go?" when asked about him and Tessa. That's so bizarre. Who actually talks like that who has a girlfriend they're simultaneously promoting on network television and parading on social media?
Ah, here it is:
Now that the stress of competing is behind them, could their relationship take on a new direction?
'That's a very interesting question,” Scott tells Hello! 'I think we'll have to wait and see. We don't know what the future holds for us even professionally, so who knows what shape our relationship is going to take?' - Hello! Canada
Imagine a real person (versus a "persona") saying anything like this in public: "Interesting question, yes. We'll have to wait and see if I dump the girlfriend I promoted on my reality show, who is here in Sochi, and if take up with my partner here. Stay tuned! It could be in the mix!"
(ETA, now that we know Cassandra was in Sochi, Scott's stated intention to pack "two condoms" for Sochi is even more absurd, particularly his remark "I don't want to sound cocky." At absolute best, he's saying he doesn't want to sound "cocky" but he might actually bang his own girlfriend twice while in Sochi. Okay, thanks and TMI.
At its stupidest (apart from it being de facto stupid from every angle) he's telling us he's bringing two condoms to protect his extracurricular action while his girlfriend is there hanging out with the family. Niice.)
Of course they're not connecting the dots because they're bad at it, and because this is fake, and also because they're lazy and don't track the details or implications.
Anyway, we can expect that what is meant by "shape" is the form in which they'll pitch it to us next. Since they haven't had a new idea in seven years, I don't think anticipation will be keeping anyone up at night.
I was reading a book review (of an actor autobiography) where the reviewer said the actor works strenuously at being charming, but comes across as if charm were something he'd heard described but didn't quite understand. That's how Scott and Tessa always are about relationships. Two condoms. Maybe we'll shift gears into the non-platonic even though my girlfriend's right here. My buddies are congratulating me on skating with a girl I barely talk to off the ice, almost as if we're doing it, which of course we're not.
They don't know what they're talking about but it's as if they don't know what they don't know.
*A lot of the media, such as Christine Brennan, Rosie DiManno, Phil Hersch, E.M. Swift, Steve Milton - made or make their living covering sports or other areas of reporting where they have some clue, some frame of reference. A lot of these people are fascinated by the skating world, but apparently they're not at all fascinated by skating itself. Otherwise, how do they cover it year after year, beg to be assigned (as Rosie begs to be assigned) and yet not bother to recognize key basics of bladework on the ice despite seeing it year after year after year, enough so as to make specific distinctions? Yes, it's a great gig. Hang out, gossip, then write whatever you want. Why spoil it by doing the real work of becoming informed? But is that it? Or is the media that covers it uninterested in the skating because what really interests them is the soap opera, even though that doesn't stop them from attempting to weigh in on the skating.
**How is this a sport, again?