Tessa stop that

She can do what she wants, but still.

This is the Q&A Scott and Tessa did for a group of fans at TEB, and I'm referring to when Scott and Tessa read the question: "Have you ever lied to your coach about being sick because you didn't want to train that day?"

oOOoo. Lying.




Hmmm - let me think. I want to be honest.

 Seconds later, when the answer is "no" and it appears Scott has chosen to take the "you" as plural and has answered with a lot of "we's", Tessa piously hurries to tell us that neither one ever calls in fake sick out of consideration for their partner waiting for them at the rink.

oOOoo. Tessa's lying.!

I like using babies for this stuff.

Tessa implements a full body block on Scott's overuse of "we". Let's police those "we's" Tessa.

Tessa is actually not making a point about the commitment and consideration she and Scott have for each other as partners.

She's doing what 30 Rock might call "Back door messaging". Sneaking her real point behind a false headline.Tessa's headline is she and Scott live separately. See? So if Scott's called in fake sick, don't start thinking she'd be right there with him when he did. Don't ever think that. Tessa will shut that right down.

Unless it $erves their purpose to bait fans with an insinuating "we".

When do they bait? And when does Tessa forget about policing the "we's"?

When there's $$ involved. For them or Skate Canada.

So when Tessa starts letting those "we's" go unchecked, watch your wallet. And watch for the "gotcha".

When Q&Aing with mere fans at TEB 2011,Tessa lets us know that if Scott called in fake sick, Tessa would be waiting at the rink, wondering where he was. Seeing as how she drove there in her separate car from her separate home after spending the night in a separate bed and all, and seeing as how cell phones and text messaging haven't been invented.

Here, as often happens,Scott appears as if he's hoping Tessa will ignore his sometimes suggestive use of plural pronouns.

Tessa is the one who cuts that stuff off all the time. You think she's going to let something slide and she jumps right in with the back door message.

Yet despite Tessa always on standby with the choke chain and despite her consistently functioning as the couple's interview police, for many fans, the Scott and Jessica sham is instinctively viewed as a Scott and Jessica thing.

Because they've been blasted with Scott/Jessica, many fans reflexively - and illogically - forget the purpose of a fake relationship is to protect Scott and TESSA.

Many fans who understand Jessica and Scott are fake still can't help feeling  - how does it make Tessa feel? Like Tessa keeps out of it, like it's Scott's gig.

Of course she's a full participant. It's (at least) as much Tessa's gig.Why else would Scott do it?

How does it make Tessa feel? She's for it! Really, really, really REALLY for it. She's gonna keep those "we's" in their place.

Except when she doesn't. What's the difference?

$

Which leads to this:
  

During TEB 2011, this same Tessa who makes sure we don't misinterpret (meaning "correctly interpret") Scott's "we's" in the TEB 2011 video that opened this post, sits next to Scott for another video - this one for ISU. And out come the plural possessives - the ours flow left and right. And we. We we we. Our favorite city, our favorite this, our that and the other thing. Like they're an off-ice unit. WE can't wait to do this and that! We're staying an extra day just to hit the tourist spots - TOGETHER!!!! (Ou - ensemble.)

Sure. It's not like Scott has a girlfriend at this very competition with whom he's in a long distance relationship, with whom he'd logically want to spend an extra day in the City of Love once the competition is done.

Nope, no matter what you're gonna see on facebook later, in this on-the-record, archiveable interview, man, it is Jessica who? and girlfriend - what girlfriend?

And Tessa is zapping us with the "we"s and "ours". They want to eat at cafes. Plural! 

For real? You've been to the fucking La Tour Eiffel eight kajillion times, ditto Le Elysee de Champs, you've certainly mangered at beaucoup de cafés de Paris in your day, not to mention you know the Rue du Conneries like the back of your hand.

If Scott's got an extra day, wouldn't he want to tool around with Jessica instead of checking Funny Face hot spots off a list, running around with Tessa to places he's been before?

Golly and gosh - Tessa and Scott - what's all the smiling and earnest eye sparkling about?

But they really went out of their way to put that out there. Thanks for sharing! And wow! How is this the same Tessa?

Tessa, especially, is hypersensitive about any use of "together" and "we" if it's off the ice or their personal lives.That's her MO.

Right on display in the video opening this post, Scott sprays a few too many we's into the atmosphere in a problematic context and Tessa steps in with corrective verbiage.

Understood, Tessa.

But they 180 in the second video and chirpily tell us we are staying in Paris an extra day, we are going to do all kinds of off ice Paris things. Even though - as the rest of us all know - his beloved girlfriend Jessica is in town too. In the video, they don't mention that. It's Scott and Tessa, taking an extra day to enjoy cute famous Paris things and taking some photos. Jessica who?

This Jessica.


Facebook, TEB 2011.

Where the hell is Tessa and that Bonjour Paris self she's just finished telling us about?

 Scott, Jessica, Sebastien Wolfe, Meagan Duhamel, Eric Radford, Madison Chock, etc. at La Tour Eiffel dans le soir! But no Tessa! What the hey? Tessa can't tramp around Paris with the gang? Is that why Scott has to stay an extra day and go AGAIN? Scott acted like it would be a challenge to get the Champs Elysee strolling, crepe-eating, multiple instances of cafe-sitting, Louvre-visiting, Tour Eiffel-going done in that one extra day. Here's Scott and other skaters, knocking off Le Tour Eiffel - wouldn't it have made sense for Tessa to join so she and Scott had more time for the other stuff on their extra day? She's gonna make him go again - or is this another case where Tessa is persona non-grata cause nobody likes her, so she has to go on her own, and Scott is stuck taking her?

Otherwise, Tessa - why are you hiding?

If he and she meant a gang of North American skaters were staying an extra day to see the tourist places, that's cool. Why not say so, and again, why does Tessa hide?

In the ISU video, Scott isn't saying "Me and my girlfriend Jessica along with Tessa are gonna check out Paris" or "Tessa, me and a bunch of our teammates are gonna look around." Nor "Tessa's gonna do her separate thing I don't know what since we don't keep tabs on each other after we compete, and me and my girlfriend and whatever buffers on the team I can drag along are going to go to the Eiffel Tower. Can't get enough of that thing. It never gets old."

Nope. It's me and Tessa - staying an extra day in Paris together.

So - they're just being dicks? Bait? Ramping up the childlike enthusiasms, simple pleasures and excitement of being in Paris - leaning on that us?

Well of course they're being dicks.

Why though? Why this time?

What's going on? Are they really going to wander around town and take pictures, did they really mean they're prolonging their stay simply to be starry-eyed young folks enjoying Paris together and taking fun photos because of how much the city highlights mean to them? They just wanted to share these plans with us, the public, in a special video and an article - despite how hard they seem to work to shut down "couple" speculation?"

Sure!

OTOH -  does it possibly mean we're hitting Paris landmarks in the company of a professional photo crew and the product of that photo shoot will soon be used for Funny-Face-skewed promotional photos and videos to promote skating competitions and us?

 "See Tessa and Scott walk in the shoes of Audrey and Fred"!

Maybe the ISU interview isn't really a relaxed moment of Scott and Tessa making themselves available and telling us about their plans to share their love of Paris - maybe it's a promotional venture? Using the usual bait? Which means they will jerk our chains on purpose, sprinkling copious "us" and "we's" about what seems like a romantic mini-break - this time unsquelched by Tessa's emphasis about how separately they live their off-ice lives?

And once fans take the bait - they'll drop the "gotcha" boom?

Ya think?

Otherwise -  why not just say what's what? Why be all cutesy about it - like there's no agenda but their own enthusiasm and personal excitement? And even if they don't care to point out there's a promotional angle, why pretend Jessica's not around? (She isn't, but officially she is, so why are they leaving that part out of their pretend tourist adventure?).

What's wrong with saying - "We stayed an extra day for an on-location photo shoot that was great fun, and Jess and I got to spend some time together outside competing cause she was able to stay as well, which was a treat."

Of course, they'll make sure we get the Jessica part later, but via social media. And via whatever idea Barb MacDonald steals from someone else's competent communications venture and then half-ass imitates.

Til then, where the topic of Jessica is concerned, this is like Monaco. In legitimate media, all of Scott and Tessa's comments about Monaco - the stuff we can still search, and will be able to search years from now - ignored Jessica. Only facebook got blasted with Jessica. Facebook cuts out the middleman (the legitimate media that has to adhere to some type of truthiness standard, no matter how many corners they often cut), facebook allows them to lie directly to their targets, and it's also something they think is here today, gone tomorrow, not searchable for years to come.When the facebook scheme is no longer needed, all of the facebook stuff will vanish from the internet. It's like facebook was invented for Scott and Tessa.

Come on children.You mention staying an extra day - why isn't Tessa working in something that emphasizes their hotel rooms are separate, or better yet, they're lodged in separate locations (What's a French family for?)? You bet if there weren't promotional considerations, she would. But here, she's not even mentioning her mom!

So that'$ my bet. These little outreaches about Paris are really promotions. And Jessica's not mentioned because they keep her off the public record as much as they can.

It's my bet that -  since twice during TEB 2011 they dimpled and cheesed to the press how they're going to do "tourist Paris" and tramp around to the famous spots and take some pictures -  this Paris sharing isn't random.

Nothing they initiate with fans is genuine. Ever. Two short, simple videos, two hefty helpings of total bullshit in both.

They're overly disingenous and OTT with it, that's what I'm saying. And they're self-serving about the whole "don't think we're a couple thing." Because when they want to leave $omething open to interpretation, they do. Suddenly Tessa is not so scrupulous about "we".

When there's nothing in it for them, or when they're safely off-grid, BOY does Tessa pop in there putting stray pronouns to rights.

Alternatively:

Could this mention of their special day in Paris be, as with the baby duckies, a way of trying to sort of back door an archiveable record of them as a couple, so certain of their family members, as they reach the age of greater awareness, don't think Scott and Tessa completely excluded them from their official history for 5 years just because they're self-serving and chickenshit? Cause unless Scott and Tessa figure this out, feelings could be hurt down the line, especially since Scott and Tessa are now shouting out to babies Charlotte and Quinn from the Kiss'N'Cry. Maybe here is a little "we're together - we're an us!" so nobody is pissed when they get older.

That last alternative is cute, and not impossible, but since twice they've mentioned they want to take pictures during their "Paris day", I think it's the safer bet the photos are actually a promotional photo shoot with a professional crew. 

For now, they want to let people think that's what's going on is those two excited kids enjoying Paris together -  cause that's how they bait.

But they sure aren't going to give away anything real because all this is just to keep fans paying attention, looking for the photos. Which, when they appear, will be - oh, it wasn't Scott and Tessa touring Paris for real. They were working. Gotcha.