Sunday, January 31, 2021

Terms of Engagement


I don't know why I've become more squeamish with time instead of more jaded but I'm not listening to above referenced podcast. Scott is 33 years old. Late this summer (and this summer apparently is not as likely for his "wedding" as the following summer) he will be 34. He doesn't seem pressed. 

His eldest will be going on eleven.

For about 14 years or so Scott and Tessa have had a cycle of fake relationships - Scott more than Tessa. But Scott is approaching his mid-thirties and Tessa is right behind him. Scott's been in a holding pattern with his latest ever since he announced she was a "fiancee'" in an incredibly plausible stunt executed in front of a hometown crowd all of whom knew he was lying. 

When part of your image is small town Canadian and you are most emphatically - don't you ever think differently - absolutely the straightest guy for miles, you are gonna have to get yourself married. Scott's getting a little into the old maid, Waity Katy territory now (not that I thought Waity Katy ever made sense/was fair vis a vis Kate Middleton). Even his charming fiancee', a year or so his senior, has a first marriage under her belt, so at least she got her feet wet. As their home town Hall of Fame gambit illustrated, the time for contractual girlfriend relationships has past. I don't think he can be rotating different fake fiancees in and out of his social media as he did fake girlfriends so I'm curious where they think the drop dead line is and what's next. At some point while he's still on the fresher side of 35 he has to pull the trigger in one direction or the other. Those directions seem to be bluster on through with the fake or cut the shit. Naturally their every instinct would be Option 1, but I see pitfalls. 

What I really want is the whole nine yards - fake wedding, fake marriage, and then fake kids. Although this prospect lines up perfectly with the characteristic Moir/Virtue level of taste, judgment and decency, I feel the logistics are tricky. Look at Scott buying himself an additional year and a half before he has to think about it.

The past few - more than a few - years have demonstrated we don't have to worry about the entertainment media, whose capacity for complicity is infinite.


Scott on what I think is a morning radio show. He's asked about his best Canadian memory and unleashes a classic Scott Moir verklempt:

Ah well I mean ... don't get me emotional here on a Friday morning. Umm, Tessa and I were so blessed to be able to represent this country and to and uh any time I can think about taking her hand and skating to center ice ... it's just - now that we've had a little bit of distance looking back we realize how fortunate we really were... my favorite memory will always be uh the flag in her hand and one of her hands in mine and my hand on her shoulder and walking into the opening ceremonies of 2018 and looking back and seeing our teammates and uh - much like this campaign, knowing what this campaign and Canada represents.*

Very sweet, though the promotional pivot at the end is so on the nose it looks too much like Scott really thought he did something. I wonder if Scott has hit the stage of his public life where he's imitating his greatest hits. Just turns it on. With the added embellishment in this instance of laying it on with the accent so thick he sounds like a refugee from Fargo. That's not even Canadian..

*I'm not good visualizing three dimensions while reading in two. But Scott's holding hands with Tessa and another one of his hands is on her shoulder seems awkward.

P.S. rather than tacking on another comment just putting this P.S.

The Moirs are parochial and have a high opinion of themselves. Who you are is shown in action and the tactics during Scott and Tessa's decade and a half of lies have shown a malicious, mocking and self-satisfied stripe. There's now a Gadbois outpost stocked with Moirs and a prospective Ilderton training center. Are these people going to leave themselves on the back foot at this time? "Yeah, we scammed, lied and mocked you! Go ahead and judge us!"

I don't expect the Gadbois outpost to last that long but while it does there is no way Scott and Tessa admit anything. They probably won't admit anything on a matter of principle, but definitely not while the Moirs are up-status-ing their training careers.