Get a Life

 

Blog posts don't always have titles but for this one I couldn't decide between what's up there and "This creeps me out."

Back when Scott and Tessa rose to international prominence in the skating world, I thought the Moir involvement was a little intense. It's not unusual to have stage parents and stage families in the entertainment industry, and sports is the entertainment industry, but after a point it can get squicky and the Moirs are long past that point.

I've said before how Brian Boitano said one big value add from his competition days was his mother was not a skating mother. He could come home and be himself without it always being about his skating.

And I remember in Scott and Tessa's Fan Fiction Series on the W Network, Alma Moir, his mother, a few drinks in along with Carole and Kara, said she thought the "Seasons" Olympic free dance was "About us." About them - a free program that they and their coaches had said was about the stages of a relationship between a man and a woman.

Alma has also frequently described her and the rest of the family's presence at competitions (and bunking in at nearby hotels) as nothing but a plus for their kids. Yes, they were needed to escort Jessica everywhere (still want to know exactly why Jessica constantly needed chaperones while shamming even though I have my own ideas). 

I haven't nailed this down to a nutshell sized idea, but I think the continuation of Virtue and Moir's lie to where they have trapped themselves worse than someone stuck in Nutty Putty's Birth Canal, and horizons that should have opened up after Pyeongchang constricting back down to certain rural areas of southwestern Ontario are connected to the Moir vise grip on the duo. Tessa and Scott are the oxygen they breathe. 

It doesn't take that much time

I've been reading around on the spring / summer narrative about Scott and Tessa's lives, and came across the notion that Tessa is consumed with school. Too consumed with school to get back on the ice any time soon. Seems girl is on campus almost daily, stuck in one location, up to her neck in demanding master's program coursework. 

So I looked it up. I'd read on FSU that Tessa's pursuing an EMBA, not an MBA, and an EMBA is much less immersive, attracting candidates whose daily lives are filled with full time jobs or the intensive training required of an internationally competitive athlete. Sort of a once over the basics where one's previous life, sport and business experience is integrated into the learning modules. I had not previously verified the EMBA info apart from FSU but believe the link below does:  

 https://www.queensjournal.ca/story/2020-05-19/news/tessa-virtue-among-11-former-team-canada-athletes-starting-at-smith-school-of-business/

Although her name and image is used to front the piece, she is not quoted.

Tessa applied for and was selected to attend the class of 20-22 "The partnership offers athletes the choice between 12 business programs, supported by a scholarship funded by the Smith School of Business that covers the full cost of the program and related services." The program seems to feature as many related services and life resources as it does academic courses, the latter of which are downplayed IMO.

Tessa stopped competing in early 2018, and so compared to other participants seems a bit of a latecomer since at Tessa's school: "Most of the EMBA program is delivered virtually to accommodate for the schedule of full-time athletes." Certainly that says if Tessa wanted to be back on the ice, the program wouldn't just allow it, but encourage it. And if you're not a full time athlete any more that leaves lots of time for other full time stuff anywhere in the world while still progressing through this helpfully undemanding and generous program. 

In case Tessa IS, in fact, getting an EMBA with this and not an MBA (the program does suggest EMBA-ish), this is what the internet says about an EMBA: 

• The main cited difference between an MBA and an Executive MBA is the level of immersion in the graduate school experience and the customization of classes towards a more experienced group of individuals. 
•  Full-time MBA students have full-day, intensive schedules, making it tough to maintain a job outside the program. 
•  Executive MBA students keep their full-time jobs and typically attend classes on Fridays and the weekends, though this can lead to less interaction on campus.

If we then take away "Fridays and weekends" and make it a couple of virtual sessions a week plus "customization", students can be doing almost anything full time in addition to grinding diligently through these degree requirements. They could be training for a space mission. 

This EMBA program leaves plenty of breathing room for days spent shuttling between various photo studios participating in female empowering soft but bright white filtered photoshoots and videos for dry shampoo, artificially sweetened soft drinks and high fructose corn syrup laden snack chips. Excuse me, corn sugar laden snack chips. The corn industry petitioned for a name change. 

Or you could be easily living and coaching full time wherever it is your husband is meant to be doing it. Maybe your kids can even pitch in with the coursework, as it is heavy on real life experience applications.

The truth is always crazier

Saw this on FSUniverse which I hardly look at anymore until it's time for a blog post (just in case Scott had a big wedding or announced he and Jackie are expecting):

In Virtue and Moir's heyday I read so many rumors, the most pervasive of which had Scott and Bryce Davison coming to blows over Jessica Dube when Scott and Jessica weren't heavily making out in aircraft boarding waiting areas while Bryce disconsolately looked on. Although occasionally this would happen in restaurants where Dube and Moir snuggled in a booth canoodling while Bryce looked on disconsolately from a seat at the bar. 

Everybody had a first hand story about that and none of them were called crazy. Even though the stories were made up. The pinnacle of the Bryce/Jessica/Scott fan fic masquerading as first hand real life experience was someone from Salt Lake City, Utah, posting on a fan board, claiming in multiple parts that, through a friend and lots of begging, she got to work as a receptionist or similar at the summer Team Canada meeting in Canada, that at this meeting she saw skaters basically goofing around on the ice since it was really a bonding event, that one skater threw a skate at another and the target landed flat on his back, and of course the piece de resistance - she had seen Scott and Jessica kiss ON THE LIPS. 

Considering the summer meeting takes place at a venue without a rink, I thought this was quite the hype but even after being exposed the author was not considered crazy. 

 This is a gaslighty era we're living in. I wonder when or if it will turn. After I was doing this blog awhile I noticed how often the media (and some fans) across an entire spectrum of topics (but mostly when a high high profile individual was the subject) tries to disable critique by misrepresenting the criticism and critique, hyping the actual commentary to the point of derangement and calling the critics disturbed. I'm thankful, at least, that the old standbys of "fat", "sex-starved" and "middle-aged" have fallen out of favor although skaters sometimes sneak it in there by referring to "our demographic." 

It's sad how long being a woman has been a weapon used to put someone on the defensive -  hurl the right adjectives and the target will come out swinging that they aren't any of those shameful things. 

Outside the blog, Virtue Moir fans in general are accused of opinions they don't hold and don't promote. Virtue and Moir aren't stalked and bullied. What negative fan experiences Virtue and Moir have had would have been diminished if they hadn't spent the past 12-14 years baiting and gaslighting their fan base and if they hadn't exhorted fans to take a ringside seat at Scott's fake intimate life. They want their cake and to eat it too, and setting up boundaries the way real grown-ups do isn't on the menu.

As for a restraining order against the blog; they'd have to sue google and I wonder about claim. "Issue a restraining order against this blog for telling people we're married when we're married." I'd look forward to the discovery phase if such an action were filed but alas it would never get that far cause they are married and it would end there.

ETA - suppose Scott and Tessa weren't married and this blog was delusional or a scam. Nobody would care. The comments section would be empty. Suppose ten years ago I claimed I was a long lost Moir sibling and have maintained that posture ever since. Or that Tessa was married at fifteen to someone. Or that her chronic exertional compartment syndrome was a blind for a pregnancy with a well-known politician. All that would be "eh." It would just be internet noise and nobody's blood pressure or righteous defense mechanisms would activate. 

And if they weren't married and since 2011 this blog saying they were, it would also be internet noise and nobody would be fulminating and feeling pity (at least not for Scott and Tessa) and talking about restraining orders for someone who is sitting on their own crackpot blog not bothering anybody. 

The righteousness kicks in because Scott and Tessa are married. If it weren't true my saying this wouldn't make people riled. Over time I've asked fans why are you pissed off? As far as you're concerned I'm just a not all there no-life having internet troll with too much time on my hands and a one note fantasy life. Joining the legions on the web of whom the same can be said. Nothing to add; let's hope I get the help I need.

They're not angry at what the blog says they're angry at something else and can't figure it out.

Starting Values

 Here's a piece from the NYTimes on GOAT gymnast Simone Biles and the starting scoring value of her new Yurchenko Double Pike vault. The bolded paragraph is obviously relevant: 

By Juliet Macur 

Published May 24, 2021

Updated May 26, 2021, 8:08 a.m. 

ET INDIANAPOLIS — Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast in history, is renowned for performing moves so difficult, and so distinctive, that several have been named after her. On Saturday, she executed a new one considered so dangerous that no other women even attempt it. Her latest signature skill is called a Yurchenko double pike. Biles attempted it in competition for the first time on Saturday night at the U.S. Classic, her first competition in 18 months. Biles had unveiled the vault, a stunning feat of power, physics and fearlessness traditionally only attempted by men, a day earlier, in a video from a practice that quickly went viral. 

 The Yurchenko double pike is considered so perilous and challenging that no other woman has attempted it in competition, and it is unlikely that any woman in the world is even training to give it a try. To execute it, a gymnast first must launch herself into a roundoff back handspring onto the vaulting table, and then propel herself high enough to give herself time to flip twice in a pike position (body folded, legs straight) before landing on her feet. It’s the kind of maneuver done much more easily by a platform diver who has the help of gravity and the safety of a soft landing. Biles, though, executes it by producing enough speed and strength to power herself high in the air and then flip so quickly on the way down that gravity seems to have been taken by surprise. Others were too. So was Biles. Not even the vault’s namesake, the former Russian gymnast Natalia Yurchenko, tried it in competition. (The double pike carries Yurchenko’s name because she pioneered the roundoff-back-handspring approach to the vault, not what Biles now can do after pressing off it.) Biles performed the vault so well on Saturday that her one flaw, somehow, was over-rotating it. That meant she needed to take a few steps back on her landing to stop her momentum. 

 Still, when Biles landed, it sent the small crowd at the Indiana Convention Center into a frenzy. The judges scoring her, however, were not so impressed. Despite the move’s difficulty, they gave it a provisional scoring value of 6.6, close to what Biles’s other vaults have received. That limited the points available for performing it successfully, a point that a frustrated Biles suggested was unfair to her. “I feel like now we just have to get what we get because there’s no point in putting up a fight because they’re not going to reward it,” she said of judges and, ultimately, the International Gymnastics Federation, which has the final word on starting values for new vaults done in competition. “So we just have to take it and be quiet.” 

Biles said Saturday that the gymnastics federation had similarly given her double-twisting, double-back beam dismount a start value that was too low, and that she expects it to undervalue her Yurchenko double pike when it is reviewed. 

 United States women’s national team coordinator Tom Forster agreed with Biles that a 6.6 was not high enough given the vault’s difficulty. “It doesn’t seem to be consistent with what they’ve done with other vault values,” he said, “and I don’t know why they do that.”

Part of the reason for that might be a concern for the safety of gymnasts not nearly as skilled as Biles — by assigning a dangerous move a low start value, the federation quietly discourages others from risking it. But there also may be a fear that Biles is so good that she might run away with any competition she enters simply by doing a handful of moves that her rivals cannot, or dare not, attempt. “They’re both too low and they even know it,” Biles said of the rewards for her beam dismount and the double-pike vault. “But they don’t want the field to be too far apart. And that’s just something that’s on them. That’s not on me. “They had an open-ended code of points and now they’re mad that people are too far ahead and excelling.” 

Despite not being properly rewarded, Biles, the defending Olympic champion in the all-around, said she would continue doing them. When asked why, she quickly answered, “Because I can.”

Setting aside Macar's sketchy take on technique, this is simultaneously depressing and comforting.  

Comforting: the b.s. is everywhere. 

Depressing: Biles is able to speak up while Virtue and Moir had to play ball. I think this may be because even casual fans can recognize the difficulty in Biles' vault while in figure skating the majority of those who write about it know nothing and look at the protocols to confirm the protocols, rather than at the skating itself to see if the protocols are honest. The supposed experts recruited to comment hide behind undefined "performance" (as in theatrical) values rather than in performance (as in skating technique and level of execution and how these are assessed) values.

 FS Universe somewhat depressing string on Tessa's painfully anodyne influencer career.

There's plenty going on with her, as always, though. She's just limited in the false stuff that can be created.

For the record: Scott and Tessa didn't experience any negative and intrusive social media attention that they didn't aggressively solicit. And by that I don't mean "they asked for it" in a blaming the victim way, but in "they literally asked for it" by setting up stunts about their faux personal lives and blasting press releases about the supposed reaction of fans.

Often hijacking the efforts and sincerity of others - such as the community that organized their Ilderton Hall of Fame celebration - to showcase their latest sting.The entitlement is off scale.

I'm happy for Sinitsina & Katsalapov even though this program is nothing Virtue and Moir couldn't have pulled off in their sleep in 2014.

They've overcome a lot. I haven't watched them in a long long time. My last memory was a terrifying program where he was reckless and inconsiderate and she could barely keep out of his way to do her bit, so almost a decade ago now. The dynamic here is night and day from then.

 

 

I like Hubble & Donohue's program better - I think. Needs more speed or at least the appearance of speed - more sustained energy coming out of elements (which helps with the appearance of if not actual speed). Her edge comes off at the very end of the final twizzle rotation and she timed the step out with where it would be anyway - I looked twice because I thought there was a small interruption of flow. 

I don't think Papadakis & Cizeron will win gold in 2022. I think it will be Sinitsine Katsalapov, these two, and Papadakis & Cizeron bronze. The sport has made  P&C's deficiencies into features, so it's difficult for them to lose unless they visibly, to the eyes of a civilian, screw up, but that's what I'm actually expecting.

Hot mess.

This one. This is the short program. Including because I've been following her since the blog began.

Back in the day when all things Jessica Dube drove me mental, I saw Kirsten Moore-Towers as her antithesis and antidote. Now she's become her. Comes onto the ice looking like someone hurt her feelings, skates without commitment, hedges every move, can't even keep her free leg up steady in the standing split part of the pairs spin. The lift was almost as labored as 2016 KMT + M. 

Like Dube, she probably has more athletic and skating talent in her pinky finger than - I'll use Meghan Duhamel as the obvious example - but that mental maturity game is weak. She's avoiding herself like crazy. This is no shade to Duhamel.

No Shit

 From FSUniverse:

I have to quote as the image wasn't centering in the blog post:

I think she's realizes that this is her peak for earnings and building her brand and that's really what's she's putting her focus on and you can tell how hard she works at it (her schedule looks exhausting). My only issue with her over the last couple of years is as as much I love her, I think she and I have different ideas on empowering women but I think that's a whole separate and complicated discussion. I too had to unfollow her because during this ********* my tolerance for instagram "shilling" is at all time low when I'm stuck in another lockdown (Toronto) and have so many people struggling here right now. I think it's natural that she loses some of skating fanbase but gains a different fanbase to replace them.

One thing Tessa has always had as a competitor is courage. It's a shame she has none in her personal life. The need to be right is one of the most toxic personality traits someone can possess.

Terms of Engagement

I don't know why I've become more squeamish with time instead of more jaded but I'm not listening to above referenced podcast. Scott is 33 years old. Late this summer (and this summer apparently is not as likely for his "wedding" as the following summer) he will be 34. He doesn't seem pressed. 

His eldest will be going on eleven.

For about 14 years or so Scott and Tessa have had a cycle of fake relationships - Scott more than Tessa. But Scott is approaching his mid-thirties and Tessa is right behind him. Scott's been in a holding pattern with his latest ever since he announced she was a "fiancee'" in an incredibly plausible stunt executed in front of a hometown crowd all of whom knew he was lying. 

When part of your image is small town Canadian and you are most emphatically - don't you ever think differently - absolutely the straightest guy for miles, you are gonna have to get yourself married. Scott's getting a little into the old maid, Waity Katy territory now (not that I thought Waity Katy ever made sense/was fair vis a vis Kate Middleton). Even his charming fiancee', a year or so his senior, has a first marriage under her belt, so at least she got her feet wet. As their home town Hall of Fame gambit illustrated, the time for contractual girlfriend relationships has past. I don't think he can be rotating different fake fiancees in and out of his social media as he did fake girlfriends so I'm curious where they think the drop dead line is and what's next. At some point while he's still on the fresher side of 35 he has to pull the trigger in one direction or the other. Those directions seem to be bluster on through with the fake or cut the shit. Naturally their every instinct would be Option 1, but I see pitfalls. 

What I really want is the whole nine yards - fake wedding, fake marriage, and then fake kids. Although this prospect lines up perfectly with the characteristic Moir/Virtue level of taste, judgment and decency, I feel the logistics are tricky. Look at Scott buying himself an additional year and a half before he has to think about it.

The past few - more than a few - years have demonstrated we don't have to worry about the entertainment media, whose capacity for complicity is infinite.

Scott on what I think is a morning radio show. He's asked about his best Canadian memory and unleashes a classic Scott Moir verklempt:

Ah well I mean ... don't get me emotional here on a Friday morning. Umm, Tessa and I were so blessed to be able to represent this country and to and uh any time I can think about taking her hand and skating to center ice ... it's just - now that we've had a little bit of distance looking back we realize how fortunate we really were... my favorite memory will always be uh the flag in her hand and one of her hands in mine and my hand on her shoulder and walking into the opening ceremonies of 2018 and looking back and seeing our teammates and uh - much like this campaign, knowing what this campaign and Canada represents.*

Very sweet, though the promotional pivot at the end is so on the nose it looks too much like Scott really thought he did something. I wonder if Scott has hit the stage of his public life where he's imitating his greatest hits. Just turns it on. With the added embellishment in this instance of laying it on with the accent so thick he sounds like a refugee from Fargo. That's not even Canadian..

*I'm not good visualizing three dimensions while reading in two. But Scott's holding hands with Tessa and another one of his hands is on her shoulder seems awkward.

P.S. rather than tacking on another comment just putting this P.S.

The Moirs are parochial and have a high opinion of themselves. Who you are is shown in action and the tactics during Scott and Tessa's decade and a half of lies have shown a malicious, mocking and self-satisfied stripe. There's now a Gadbois outpost stocked with Moirs and a prospective Ilderton training center. Are these people going to leave themselves on the back foot at this time? "Yeah, we scammed, lied and mocked you! Go ahead and judge us!"

I don't expect the Gadbois outpost to last that long but while it does there is no way Scott and Tessa admit anything. They probably won't admit anything on a matter of principle, but definitely not while the Moirs are up-status-ing their training careers.