Friday, December 7, 2012

Girl you'll be a woman soon or maybe in the decade after this

I'm on a bit of a Tessa tear so may as well play it out.

As noted here before, Scott and Marina, especially, are pounding drumming home the message that Tessa Virtue is a real woman these days.

Scott didn't say anything about the "these days" part, but Marina sort of implied there was a point where Tessa wasn't a real woman, and then because of shin surgery and other unspecified dramas she got all these feelings and then she was a woman and was ready for Carmen.

It's not that I'm skeptical, I just think maybe they're being generous and grading on a curve.

What Marina and Scott are implying is that Tessa has had sexual intercourse.

Sexual_Intercourse (wikipedia. Safe for work.)

But I look at what Tessa does to discourage people from believing she's having sexual intercourse with Scott, and I start to wonder if she's a real woman after all.

Tessa believes that if you
  • enter a team banquet with your skating partner in celebration of your national championship and earning a berth to the upcoming home Olympics, you're admitting the two of you are having sexual intercourse.
Tessa enters the Canadians 2009 banquet on the arm
of Patrick Chan. If she'd entered with Scott
she might as well have banged him right there in the vestibule.

If forced to enter or exit a banquet at the same time, walk apart.
Otherwise go ahead and put out a sex tape. The jig is up.
  • admit you have their phone number, you may as well leak photos to the tabloids of the two of you two having sexual intercourse.
As mentioned in the post below, Tessa told the Orange team (or green team? The TEB team of card question fans at Bercy) that neither she nor Scott calls in sick to morning practice because they'd be standing up their partner who'd be waiting for them at the rink. Tessa had to put that in because if she didn't, the orange team would realize she had Scott's phone number and the cat would be out of the bag - they'd know she was having sexual intercourse with Scott.
  • are seen riding in the same charter bus toting fellow cast members, including your partner, to the rehearsal venue, fans will believe she's joined the five feet high club with Scott.*
Oddly, she appears to have no problems sharing that she frequently rides in a car with Scott, as long as nobody thinks she rides in a car with Scott to Arctic Edge in the morning. I figure she's relaxed about the car thing because it's always clear that Scott's driving, and even if it's just the two of them in the car, how can they have sex when one of them is driving?**
  • cop to knowing whether or not your partner is wearing protective padding under their skating pants to prevent your blade from slicing their femoral artery, it's like confessing the two of you've had sex.
NBC - Olympics 2010
"You don't, right? You don't wear padding."
We need to see that she has to check with Scott.
Otherwise, we might realize they're having sexual intercourse.
  • let your skating partner see you in your swimsuit, you're admitting you know each other in the biblical sense. This is why Tessa is welcome at Moir weddings held in the North (Charlie's in London, Leanne's in Ilderton), but banned from destination weddings nearer the equator. All of them, not just Moir weddings. If Scott's there, she can't attend, or we'd all know he's been below her equator.
Tessa's banging both these guys. But not Scott. He's
never seen her in her swimsuit.
I think Tessa's womanhoodness needs a little tweaking. One kind of wonders from what point she evolved in order to arrive at her current idea of what constitutes a giveaway that you and your skating partner are having sexy times:
Tessa's idea of intercourse at 15
Tessa's idea of third base at 22.
*Unless Jeff Buttle is aboard
**This is one reason I think Scott and Marina are grading Tessa's womanly development on a curve.


  1. idk, you really think it's mostly Tessa who does this? They both play these games, didn't Scott say he walks around with his hands in his pockets and walks apart from Tessa in the mall or airport? He's the one walking ahead of Tessa in the picture above, and I've seen other pictures and video where it appears he is the one who hurries to walk apart when he thinks people are watching him and Tessa. Then there are also those pictures from Korea, where it appears as soon as Scott saw a camera, he hurried to leave his seat next to Tessa to momentarily - as long as the camera was around - hang out with some guys at another table.

    They're both equally paranoid. Oooo, the fans might.......(What? Who knows) if they are seen as being together.

    1. Scott isn't as paranoid as she is by a long haul.

      Sure, if they go into a situation with the agenda of hitting sham points, Scott will hit his. But I feel safe in saying the vigilante style is Tessa.

      Scott tossed in we's and I's in answering the question about lying to the coach when calling in sick. He was focused on the question. Tessa was focused on framing the answer so as to convey that she and Scott don't live together. She didn't want anyone imagining he could roll over and say:"Gonna call in sick today." Or hand her coffee and suggest: "Let's play hooky."

      To get that point across, she tells that the person who wasn't playing hooky would end up at the rink, stood up by the partner who was faking sick. She was all sanctimonious about it. Problem is, that scenario supposes neither one has the other's phone number.

      She overdoes it far more than he does. He executes the game plan. Then he's more or less checked out. She's never checked out. She's always working it.

      I believe Scott is doing what Tessa wants when he walks ahead and she lags behind, same with springing up from a table lest people think they dine at the same table when not specifically filming a promotion or profile. He frequently plays outside the margins, but he knows when to toe the line and hit his mark, and that's because of Tessa.

      The hands in pockets thing was, IMO, Scott trying to make something slick, savvy and experienced about all the nonsense, but he came off like an idiot. The reporter had already tweeted he was with Scott and Tessa. The reporter was real time tweeting. Furthermore, people who recognized Scott and Tessa with that reporter just side eyed them and went on their merry way. Why did Scott have his hands in his pockets for real? Think what would have happened if Scott hadn't had his hands in his pockets, if he'd bumped into somebody, and was recognized? Oh oh oh -

      jackshit, that's what would have happened.

      I'm not saying Scott's not as idiotic and short-sighted as Tessa is, that he doesn't sound ridiculous when he's trying to be smooth, but he's in no way as paranoid. I believe if it were up to him this would have been over long ago.

      He know what he's supposed to do and agrees to do it. But does he care like she cares? Absolutely not. He cares about HER. That's why he does it. He doesn't give a shit what we think, and he's right. Too bad he's considered the one out of step.

  2. once again, this entry reads as if you are one of them...this whole blog does. This blog is the sham to keep a rumor the fans started because it gets us all talking about them, in what ever context and as i have said, there is no such thing as bad publicity.

    1. Anon 2:33

      Absurd theory.
      So why spend time here if it's just so much propaganda?

    2. I think it reads like that to you and not to too many other people although of course you're welcome to your opinion. I just don't think it's a widely held take about this blog.

      It's also not true, goes without saying. I do suspect that in some respects the blog helps them but it's tied in too much with stuff they hate.

      Stuff someone like Scott might like is that there's a message out there establishing that he's with Tessa and not with Jessica Dube or anyone else. I believe this is something he badly wants or he wouldn't have played with the lines as much as he has done, prior to turning cynical in recent times. Prior to recently, he seemed to play with the lines to relieve his own feelings. Lately he seems to be playing with them in order to manipulate. I think reconciling himself to all of this has been a struggle at times. And I find it sad that one of the qualities Tessa seems to love about him is how genuine he is and yet look what he has to do and be to sell this crap, and of late it definitely appears as if he's fully re-educated, which is also terribly sad.

      The whole thing violates every part of who he is, at least in public.

      They all must have huge faith that what goes on in public doesn't affect the real person. I think they're wrong. Really really wrong, and I think it's revolting to squeeze someone like that into this hideous charade. But he's a strong guy, he's 25, he has a temper, and at this stage, it's his choice as much as anyone's.

      It helps that he's got the girl. For life. He's got what he wants. There's no insecurities there. So it seems to me he's taking charge of the situation by slowly becoming as big a dick about it as anyone else. Yet I still believe part of him is not unhappy the blog exists, but only a small part, and that to the extent it points out things that might have killed him to choke down (about Jessica, about Bryce, about Tessa, etc.). To have a place where someone is saying Scott Moir didn't fight Bryce Davison for Jessica fucking Dube, that Tessa Virtue is in love with Scott Moir and vice versa, and they're committed to each other, isn't something I think he hates.

      But to get that, there's the rest of it. The blog has taken shots at his family and at Tessa. And him, of course, although I think he probably minds that the least. The blog has pointed out the bogus 4CCs withdrawal as well, and other entitlements he and Tessa exploit and resources they suck up. That's not fun. Taken all in all, I'd imagine he'd rather this place didn't exist.

    3. It's so unfortunate that what was probably originally just an attempt to protect their privacy and personal lives evolved into this mean attitude toward their fans. Everyone says they're wonderful in person but you wouldn't know that by how they've treated the fans on social media. Instead of just lying low and keeping quiet they focused on the fans, those horrid people I guess, and set up all these elaborate stings. It looks to me they trapped themselves in their schemes and now they think there's no getting out of it. So heck, why not keep creating new boyfriends and girlfriends.

    4. Three photos of Scott sitting next to/posing beside Cassandra Holbin are public and the fandom believes that's his girlfriend.

      What does that say about the inflated, bloated, absurdist, pompous, self-important, ridiculous stunts, stagecraft, smooching, lap sitting, hand holding, baby holding, restaurant visiting, beach walking, wave frolicking, buggy riding, couch napping, Cara wrangling, video producing, name-dropping, dancing, dumb-ass posing, mocking, lying, fake conversation having, Paris strolling, facebook commenting bullshit that went on with Jessica for years? These people showed their ass.

      Me, I'm never getting over that buggy. That was the stupidest fucking thing in the history of ever and Moir ass is still hanging out over the Ilderton skies, blocking the sun over that one. The self-importance! The blown up idea of your fame! The fucking DRAMA!

      Oh the fans! Look what we need to do to keep our fans at bay! The pretense that fans are so blown away by the chemistry you have to practically stage a wedding between Scott and Jessica or people will never believe Scott and Tessa are platonic, even though people are blown away by the chemistry and also believe Tessa and Scott are platonic because all you have to do is say it. "We're platonic." There's never been any explanation as to why what fans THINK matters one goddamn. How do thoughts impact your privacy?

      The sham was a freaking industry. It was completely made up. It was a sideshow. It's the old marketing 101 - create a need and then fill it. There was no need. They made it up.

      You know who had the need? Debbi. She had a need to paste herself next to stars and bask in their spotlight and occupy herself with stage managing hoaxes and photo calls, walkabouts and video scams. She's now got Piper and Paul to push and she's doing it with her usual finesse.

      You know who else apparently had the need? The Moirs and their friends. These are their babies. These are the golden children who put Ilderton on the map. After two generations of devotion to singles, syncro, clubs, regionals, camps, juniors, dance, committees, events, coaching and more, two of their own, two smallish town kids win Olympic gold! They had a need all right. They had a need to fully participate in the success of these babies, to feel needed, to contribute, and this is what everybody came up with. Let's have a big meeting and bring Jessica to London/Ilderton to talk about sweatshirts and seating placement and other critically important issues like that that we need to do to protect Scott and Tessa!

      Here we are in 2012, Scott poses next to a girl who is touching him less than most fans who pose with him, in a few photos auto edited to where it's hard to even tell what year they were taken, and everybody's like - wow, he's got a new girlfriend!

      Just look at the trail of photos, film, articles, interviews - most of all, for me, the POSES and the TRAVEL. They are living inside a fantasy world. They are making a spectacle of themselves and their ridiculous ideas of what fame is and how to manage it.

      A delightful additional component of the sham, a value add if you will, has been how this crowd fawns over themselves, praises their own decency, their small town values, their community spirit and role model qualities while displaying a sour, small-minded, petty, bitchy and boorish attitude towards those who aren't them, whether rival ice dancers who supposedly are your kids' best friends, or fans. That's another way they've shown their ass.

  3. You either a)have no life or b)are literally obsessed with these two. I dont know anybody in their right mind who actually has time to come up with this nut job theories.

    1. It's not a theory, they're together. Once that fact is known, the blog pretty much writes itself because this crowd is as subtle as a tank.

  4. Who is Cassandra Holbin? How did they end up "together"? It is indeed creepy how much she looks like Tessa.

    Scott must be really whipped to be going along with the sham when he wants to be done with it. It's ridiculous for Tessa to think we believe she doesn't have Scott's number. We don't need to know that she's rolling over in bed to tell him about calling in sick, but it's not reasonable to think she could text him without having intercourse? Even if she lies about calling in sick, why lie about not having his number? It's so transparent.

    1. I don't think the two women look alike - it's more that they're much more similar physical types than were Tessa and Jessica. Tessa and Cassanda don't have similar facial features but they're both slim, longer limbed with long dark hair. Their facial features, particularly eyes and mouth, aren't similar at all.

      Cassandra's from London.

      Tessa sounds ridiculous because she never lets an opportunity go by to police a context or to slide in some type of reinforcement that she and Scott are platonic. She loves to bury the lead. On the surface, Tessa's little gambit about "waiting at the rink" was meant to be a holier-than-thou reminder that she and Scott try to be responsible partners, but the actual purpose was to establish that they live separately and arrive at the rink separately. She constantly does this, and what the fuck for, that's the question. At this stage fans don't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole. Even if fans get excited because they think / hope Scott and Tessa may have let something slip, so what? The impact on Scott and Tessa is zero. It's all just speculation until they reveal or until somebody is willing to go on the record with the truth and does the reveal for them, whether they're ready or not. Until that time, Scott and Tessa could claim to sleep in the same room every night in twin beds or they share breakfast tacos like Kaitlyn and Andrew or whatever other nonsense, and that's the offical story with status quo maintained. Tessa's vigilence shows a control freak side, is a waste of energy, and also, IMO, shows a deficiency in her reasoning ability.

    2. Furthermore, Tessa is very prim about policing our takeaway about her and Scott's time off ice or living situation, but she has no problem doing a write up about dinner with the Queen of England that pretty much describes them receiving the invitation together at home after 9:30pm, waking up and getting Scott's tuxedo situation in order, hitting the road, and checking into the same hotel room. Fans went nuts noticing Tessa's photo was in the same hotel room as Scott's photo even though that actually proved nothing because if they WERE platonic, one could have simply gone to the other's room once they were ready to leave in order to snap the photos of him in the tux and her in her dress. Tessa didn't bother implying separate rooms though. She even described a power outage right in the middle of getting ready and her entire description definitely did come across as the two of them sharing the bathroom and scrambling to look presentable without amenities.

      Then there was the little video she and Scott set up, telling us all about their extra day in Paris.

      That one was pure mind fuckery, which she has no problem with.

      So even if she were paranoid about the slightest stray pronoun or context that fans could run with if she didn't set it to rights, even if she actually did fret about something that's none of her business, which is people's thoughts, it's totally situational with her. At other times she has no problem putting the pronouns and interesting contexts right out there - summoning out attention to it, in fact. If you're going to be neurotic and more precious-than-thou about your personal life, be consistent. She's not. She's runs around like Mother Superior and at other times she baits the fans on purpose.

    3. Was it just me, or was it weird that they got to sit at the head table?

    4. You mean the head table with the Queen? I don't think so. The Queen was in Toronto, the Olympics had just concluded, Scott and Tessa had won the first ever Canadian Olympic gold in ice dance. Seems like a no brainer to seat them at the head table. They were two of the biggest celebrities attending. They wouldn't be if the Queen was at some non-Canada specific event somewhere and Scott and Tessa happened to be asked, but if the Queen's in Canada specifically to celebrate Canada, then Scott and Tessa would be pretty much the first phone call if she's dining in Ontario, and of course the head table. Who else? It's all about products of Canada, the glory of Canada, blah blah, and they were two of the biggest representatives.

      What I found ridiculous was Tessa's write-up wondering "What could we have done to deserve such an honor?" That woman and her disingenuous b.s. can be too much. I think she's genuinely being humble or trying to equate good manners with humble but if you don't use your brain - and she often doesn't seem to - you can sound like an idiot.

    5. P.S. another takeaway from the humble routine is that for anyone who knows Scott and Tessa are together, and therefore understands the scope of the Jessica sham, the sheer volume, including literally parading the woman down Main Street, is pretty compelling evidence that they're not humble at all - they're extremely impressed with the magnitude of their fame and the amount of impactful interest fans supposedly have in their relationship. Obviously they concluded that a Les Miserable's worth of stagecraft and cast is needed to protect them from their public. The "Who me - I kept looking around to see if there was a celebrity in the parade!" routine reads a little sour to anyone aware of exactly how they rate themselves as celebrities.

  5. oycanada you saw scott at the kiss and cry of the final of grand prix that says a name and touch the teeth on it? it seems clear the message or not? What do you think the meaning?

  6. Would be interesting to know what conversations are happening at Skate Canada with the previously unbeatable Chan in 3rd and Virtue and Moir losing by a large margin...seems like a big "F U" to Skate Canada?

    Do you think there will be an economic component to a reveal some day? Gain a little publicity right before worlds? right before olympics? right after olympics? Doubt a confession of a child will happen anytime soon, but a "oh what do you know we're suddenly a couple" seems somewhat realistic

  7. Anon 5:39

    You sound much too logical. VM have shown they don't think or act logically when it comes to relationship questions. Trying to run a similar scam on social media with newer SO's shows the extent of their idiocy. I doubt the public would get any rational explanation of the truth from these guys. Imo things are setting up for them to be on the receiving end of some terrible blow-back. I like them a lot. I don't want to see something like that happen, but unfortunately they do seem to be asking for it. No one in the public eye gets away with scamming indefinitely.

  8. And of course I meant running a similar scam as the one they did with Jessica Dube. Posed photos exclusively on social media plus these photos magically made public on friends and families' sites around the same time frames as any public appearances or competitions of VM. It blows my mind they think to do this again and with the same MO.