The Fifth Episode (Nothing Sacred)

I've already vented elsewhere but I've got enough in me to re-vent, and my main thing is - I will never understand how context makes it okay to throw what's valuable and sacred in your life under the bus. 

Scott and Tessa treat their public relations like a toxic waste dump. Forget the insult to the public that's obvious in that. What is in them that WANTS to do that? How profound must their stupid be to believe that putting the opposite of the truth on parade protects their private lives? The opposite of being married isn't contempt. Every move they make reveals something about them I don't think anybody wants to know.

Everything they want to accomplish (or appear to want to accomplish) is possible to accomplish without this degree of contempt and degradation. It's not even that they're lying. It's the nature of their lies. Their lies are like a grotesque experiment in virtual boundary breaching. There are a million ways to convey "we're platonic" and there were a million ways to stage this "reality show" facade without copping to their actual reality, but they chose this. It's the package that is so blood-curdling with them, because it's not necessary to their agenda, so the package they chose shows us something else about them.

In addition, this reality show is pandering to the crap on the internet that Scott and Tessa claim not to read. It's another way of pissing on the public. These two - and theirs - must be epic levels of stupid to get off on one-upping internet message boards. They have a taste for humiliation that borders on sadistic. The fact that this reality show plays into message board speculation encourages the posters on those boards to set themselves up and humiliate themselves even further.

I was saying - not on the blog - that I was hoping that the absolutely hateful, stupid narrative of this reality show would make it easier to deal with the silver medal Tessa and Scott are assured of winning in Sochi, but that's not true. I don't think I will EVER be reconciled to a Davis White gold medal and the stone cold corruption that will make it reality. I'd be more at ease if B&S won gold, because they actually skate. And the very fact that the promotional push for DW absolutely ignores the fact of Virtue and Moir's existence because there's no way to acknowledge Virtue and Moir and still position DW's slated win as deserved just emphasizes how corrupt this win is going to be, and IMO, like all medals awarded this way, it's going to stick in skating's craw for decades. It's not going to be what the ISU appears to be setting up - a just this once situation and then we can all move on. Maybe if it weren't at the expense of Virtue and Moir's skating. But given that the win will be over VM's skating, it will, IMO, permanently damage ice dance long after the two teams retire.

At least Scott looks pretty.

The bright spot in this for me is Johnny Johns.

Don't cut her open. Not only will snakes and frogs escape,
the acid will melt your face.

I can't with Tessa whiffing the golf swing and Scott pretending he's going to be a redneck after figure skating.

Gross.

Here comes Scott's penis. He's not fucking Tessa except he is, and all of his friends are jealous and would love some of that action. That's his wife. But because they're pretending that's not his wife, but his platonic partner, they script a scene where all of his buddies talk about how they want to get with Tessa, because that's the sort of scene people want to act out about their wives. All hail Scott's penis.

Also, how romantically successful are Scott's "buddies"? They all act like they're in middle school and he's envied because he's the first to have a girlfriend.

At least it was a very realistic conversation a man would have about his platonic business partner in front of his girlfriend.

To be continued.