Here we go:
Previously on Tessa & Scott...
Tessa struggled with PTSD ("There was gravel in that driveway. I had to reapply lip gloss. My laptop made me update flash player. Marina wanted me to try an element."). Scott gave Andrew Poje permission to ask Tessa a question. Meanwhile, we learned it was Tessa who'd forced Scott to fuck up the twizzles in Quebec.
Viewer alert: if you missed Episode 1, watch the W network for listings of repeat airings or go directly to any First World Problems meme web page for an alternative episode summary.
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Just like last time, I hope to watch this thing via download, so I can re-wind and screen cap and take a second look for the blog's recaps. When that's done, the blog's recap will start here.
In the meantime, for anybody whose plans this evening includes chugging a few shots of Mylanta and squaring off with Ep. 2 as it airs, and is moved to live chat about it in the comments section, this would be the post.
Until then, check out Dubreuil Lauzon, back from retirement:
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| Scott in navy velour. Chicks, don't all maul the screen at once. |
Episode 2:
Before we get down to the gist of Scott's penis, which by all indications is setting up as the principal preoccupation of this reality series, here we go with Episode 2's preliminaries.
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| Sitting together on the bus. Whaaaaa? |
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| Tessa, let's save time and you tell us when you're NOT tense. |
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Don't worry. They'll make us pay for this moment of actual humanity. |
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| "It feels like everyone wants a piece of us but we can't do anything about it because Scott's community and family are terrifying." |
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| "I know it's a little bit cocky, but I'm bringing two condoms." |
Here you go, Scott :
Best condoms for small penises
May I suggest the Caution Wear Iron Grip? The name just feels like "you".
Tessa is one lucky little lady. <fans self>
(No wonder her lady parts are closed for business. Use it or lose it people.)
When he said this - especially the "I know it sounds cocky" part, I wanted to cry. "That's right ladies, I'm bringing TWO condoms to Sochi. Bought a pack, threw one away, gonna jerk off once and can't soil the sheets. Then it's water balloon for Patrick Chan. I'm an animal."
This was a fake Q&A exchange but if it were real you know the reporter would have kept it out of the article out of pure compassion. This is a half a step from a four year old bragging that he's going to marry mommy. Maybe it's this level of almost excruciating, exposed sad that motivates reporters to help them lie.
As usual, he pretends to forget to remember he's meant to have a girlfriend.
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| "I've got a good boy image but also a bad boy image. It's a confusing image." |
To be continued.
is there a link to episode 2?
ReplyDelete"I hope it's just a micro-expression and he wasn't so impressed by his own performance in the reality show he's going to wheel out his acting chops in real life. Please no. "
ReplyDeleteMy friend is at Nationals, and she said she thinks it's a micro-expression. He's not trying to act out anything. In fact he was very tender and sweet with Tessa, the usual stuff.
can your friend confirm their a couple, since everything else on this site is freaking fantasy
ReplyDeleteThat's fine 7:15, but don't start.
Deletecan you not trivialize PTSD? thank you.
ReplyDeleteThat's not what the blog is doing.
Deleteoc
P/I vs G/P - SD at last year's Nats
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/pUzQCp3TcFE
Hoping we don't get a repeat of this situation tomorrow.
These colors (white/silver/pale blue and particularly Scott's navy blue) and cut for their costumes are giving me G/G Moonlight Sonata vibes.
ReplyDeleteYes - totally agree especially Scott - and that's a good thing. I also like the belt on Scott. As long as they are comfortable - that's what counts. Not 100% sold on Tessa's outfit - but that's okay - it's like 95% there...
Deletecan someone in canada actually be helpful and link to episode 2?
ReplyDeleteThis Canadian is still waiting to find a link. W doesn't have it available on their website yet.
Deletethank you! also is nationals today or what? couldnt get livestreaming at work. when's their short dance? the new fd costume is great. short dance, prior was better. way better.
DeleteThis is a link with a recap of the second episode -SPOILER ALERT-
Deletehttp://www.ivillage.ca/entertainment/tv/tessa-scott-episode-2-recap-we-want-to-give-tessa-hug
Hmmm for the new costumes for the SD - Marina may have been inspired by G and G - Skate Canada 1993...
DeleteLove the new SD dresses. But I hate the outfits they wore during practice. O hope they won't wear them for the FD.
ReplyDeleteThe recap makes me cringe. The will they, won't they is sickening and I want to punch Scott in the face for the condom joke. While I'm not a prude I thought it was in bad taste because it was so disrespectful towards Tessa and Cassandra too ( if we play along and believe she's his girlfriend ).
Scott is such a stud, he can have both girls - probably at once at the same time. Who cares that they are individuals, they are there to please him and if they don't likely he will find other chicks who are down with it.
It is Scott who leaves Tessa to spend time with CaSONdra, Tessa would never dare to go somewhere without scott.
And now Tessa finally found a guy willing to sacrifice his time with this poor damsel. Because god knows a woman is worthless if she can't be some guys arm candy.
I feel sick.
I feel sick...too
DeleteBut at the same time I have to thank them because now I really don't care if they take silver in Sochi...
If I had to guess, the ratings from episode 1 to episode 2 probably took a hit and will further downspiral. As for the guy who supposedly comforted Tessa - he is in his mid 40s in real life - older than Tessa's brothers, David Pelletier and slightly younger than Kurt Browning...if that doesn't creep out the fangirls...
DeleteThat indeed sounds creepy. And surely will bring back the Pelletier rumors now that the show has established that Tessa is into older men.
DeleteThe fangirls watch this show to see Scott and Tessa together, not to see Scott suck Cassandra's face. I wouldn't be surprised if the ratings dropped and some even lost interest in their skating. The romantic angle was a huge draw-in factor for many fans.
Not sure how their sponsors will react either.
Anon here at 12:21 pm - and to add - wouldn't that creep out Tessa's best friends...and seriously some of Tessa's BFFs live in Toronto - you are telling me that none of her friends couldn't come to TIFF...hmm okay...scripted scripted scripted
DeleteWell and the editors/producers of this show are dumb as well. They knew Tessa was going to be a spokesmodel for Procter and Gamble products styled a la Katy Perry and that Tessa had shot the My Mom story for P&G with Kate Virtue. And some production staff for the show were at the same event - TIFF. Procter and Gamble are targeting young women with their products and one of the reasons why Tessa was chosen - how does it look when much older guy is flirting with their spokesperson? Oieee...I mean I doubt we will see this guy mentioned again but it left an impression...
Delete"how does it look when much older guy is flirting with their spokesperson? "
DeleteFlattering. What's wrong with older guys? She's in her twenties, it's not like she's twelve.
There is nothing wrong with older guys. But when its over 20 years and the younger women is in her early twenties (and not late twenties) - it looks douchey rather than flattering and even moreso when this person has been in the music/entertainment industry and has never been married...perhaps red flag...
DeleteI wonder what RBC thinks now of giving them the honour of the speech.
DeleteNot flattering at all.
DeleteI don't care who is flirting with her, but you have to add this guy to the list of supposed journalists who are proactively helping them scam the public. Scratch most of these people and they're like unpopular kids dying for validation from somebody famous.
Deletecan you people focus on the skating right now. when do they skate the sd? is it now?
ReplyDeleteLOL, what? People can focus on whatever they want to. Get over yourself.
DeleteOh, and it's not that hard, you know: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=2014+Canadian+National+Figure+Skating+Championships+Schedule
DW scored 80.69
ReplyDeleteduh, why r u surprised? obv v/m will beat their seasons best. its nationals. what does that mean anyway.
DeleteI didn't say I was surprised, I just posted their score and nothing more.
DeleteVM scored 76 points, but had some errors in their program.
Paul/Islam are third.
As it has been said before, it is not VM who are being scored incorrectly but DW who are monstrously overscored no matter what they do.
DeleteWhat's the use of freaking out over the difference in points? This is not about who is skating better. It's the ISU's little behind-the-scenes games, making sure DW get the huge scores. NO MATTER HOW ANYONE SKATES.
V&M are like the only skaters who can't get a season's best at their own nationals...
DeleteSomeone from FSU posted this:
"Out of the forty-five different GOE marks given, Meryl and Charlie received forty-two +3s. The other two were +2s.
Out of the forty-five different PCS marks given, Meryl and Charlie received thirty-three 10s. The others were 9.75 (eleven) and 9.5 (one). "
So Davis & White were not marked or judged. They were coronated. And you know what, I don't blame them, that's what a federation is supposed to do during the Olympic season with their gold medal hopes. I have no doubt it will be done for Chan. Any mistakes or possible level calls can be brought it up privately later.
And another thing, the international community knows judging inflation happens at Nationals. It's expected. So the message SC is sending is that V&M really deserved about a 72 if this were an international. Fucking brilliant.
Deleteerrors? what? I couldn't get live streaming.
ReplyDeletewell if Canada is going to screw them on scoring, sets up DW perfectly.
ReplyDeletecan someone PLEASE LINK the sd?? also, is Canada insane? even they are underscoring vm? WTF
ReplyDeleteSomeone will link the SD when there is actually video of it available online. Hold your horses.
DeleteIt's not underscoring when its appropriate to what they delivered, which seems to be the case according to most who saw it.
It's just the frustration of knowing that they always get scored according to the rulebook while others do not even have to worry about it.
Deletejust watched DW sd -god forbid someone uploads vm-and zoueva made changes to it. except for straight line sequence, their sd now resembles vm. ive always loved zoueva, but she's definitely playing into the narrative of dw having surpassed.
ReplyDeleteI also want to know who made the decision to change VM's SD costumes...
DeleteThere is no digital copy online for V/M, which will naturally lengthen the process. Someone will have to have transfer it from their pvr dvr vhs or what have you. It's ridiculous TSN doesn't post them online, but that's not fans being lazy.
DeleteAlso, I have no idea what you're talking about - Zoueva added a few touches of her usual type with D/W. It has no more resemblence to V/M's than it did before??
Totally agree, the costume change was a bad decision.
LOL. I love your breakdowns of the lying liars who lie show. I'm not sure Scott should go with the Caution Wear Iron Grip. It's described as having a "classic shape" and since Tessa is apparently drawn to all things classic and timeless, Scott should probably avoid it at all costs.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost horrifyingly impressive, how much the writers/producers/he himself have managed to make Scott come across as a totally unlikeable, pompous, king of overcompensation. At the rate they're going, he and Tessa will be at "Dennis Rodman vacationing in North Korea" levels of repulsiveness by the final episode. Bravo.
As someone else mentioned, every word Scott utters could be instantly teleported to the Big Bang shrink mommy's couch. Overcompensating is insufficient as a description because he is overcompensating about so much, particularly his familiarity with anything in the real world. He's heard of a land where people date, or "hook up", does some kind of mental calculus and out comes "two condoms" for three weeks. No wonder they're skating obsessed in Ilderton. Nobody's getting laid.
DeleteEpisodes like this also possibly shed light on how come the media and other skaters protect them, besides the obvious. Despite how privileged these two are, how up their own asses, they're also sad. When a guy says what Scott says in this episode, I can just feel every guy everywhere just wince for him. It goes beyond "that's pathetic" to protecting him from himself. Don't crack a smile. Don't snicker.
DeleteThe fragility here is painful.
All I can say is in these two shows Tessa and Scott have managed to make me less interested in them. They come across so unlikeable. Who would want anything to do with them? They can stay in their own navel-gazing bubble for all I care. The icky self-absorption comes off in waves.
DeleteI'm hoping very much it's not really how they are in real life. So far I can't stand anything about them, from the OTT insecurities that sound like someone who never grew out of the junior-high drama-queen stage to Scott's pseudo-macho strutting and arrogance. Gag.
They're too controlling. They have the scripted behavior, then they describe their behavior to us, then they tell us what how to react. How the fuck do they know what kind of image Scott has? From the message boards where the same few dozen people recycle their opinions?
DeleteTessa's insecurities are freaking overkill. It does make you wonder what she thinks WE think she's about, for her to overcompensate that way. She's a freaking first world problems joke. And Scott must have been raised in a community and family obsessed with sexuality. Unbelievably insecure.
Hello oycanada! let me say you happy new year for you and everybody! the reality is disgusting!!! see that makes all confirm that it is a big lie!!!!
Deleteremove cassandra and put the baby.....and everything is alright!!!
One of the main, overarching themes (besides Tessa's insecurities and Scott's penis) is the question that they say *everyone* asks, whether they're together or not. How many times can they repeat that in each show? It comes up every few minutes as the set-up to their next clearly scripted segment.
DeleteYes Tessa and Scott, that's right. EVERYONE is always asking. What a burden for you. Boo-hoo.
If they had taken this question off the table since their junior years, guess what. No one would ask. Such a simple media strategy used by all celebrities: "We will talk about this - we will NOT answer any questions about that/Don't ask" along with "We're a couple on the ice and we leave it at that." See? So simple. But no, VM prefer to pretend this is a huge burden. They MUST both pose the question ("They ask if we're together...") and then spend many many minutes and paragraphs answering themselves.
I've had it up to here with VM putting this on the fans. It's a "problem" made up by VM so they can dump all their garbage on us. How lucky can they be, they went and found a TV network willing to do a series of shows where they get to showcase that question on a national stage and ACT OUT their sham crap to dump a whole truckload of trash on the fans.
I will always be a fan of their skating. They've lost me as a fan in any other sense.
The best Part is that they never actually answer the question no matter how many timed they bring it up themselves. It's always complicated, unique or too difficult to figure it out when in fact it is very simple. Just say yes or no. Bit they refuse to do that. They show Scott with his girlfriend and Tessa saying she would make for a bad girlfriend but not once they say that they aren't dating. For some reason they want to keep this door opened. Probably to mock the fangirls who still hope Tessa and Scott get married.
DeleteThe unique and hard to explain shit is so insulting. There's no such thing.
DeleteIt just shows how arrogant they are. Tess and Scott are special and therefore have a unique relationship that cannot be understood by peasants. Unlike the seven billion not special people in the world who are all in normal, generic relationships. It's only Tessa and Scott.
DeleteWho do they think they are ? heck, even the hermit who is in love with his Princess Leia action figure is in a unique relationship !
Only Scott's relationship with Cassandra isn't unique. Hot and heavy maybe, but Scott never called her unique or special. Though I still believe it is very unique for a girl in a happy relationship to use her boyfriend's full name ( even if it's just the phone ). Maybe she needs it to show off in front of her girlfriends.
It reminds me of Jessica and her emphasis on her BOYFRIEND SCOTT MOIR.
It also feels as if the storyline they anticipated has gotten derailed. Show them struggling, blah blah blah, as they marched inexorably towards Olympic gold.
DeleteInstead this is painful to watch. This is a reality show pathetically paralleling their Olympic gold hopes going down the toilet. In that regard, it's an apt companion piece. First the ISU jobs them at the GPF. Then they do themselves in.
This is an awful lot like last year. Last year, Carmen clearly buried Notre Dame. Therefore, it was Carmen that was picked apart and low balled. This season, there is no comparison between DW's short-stepped My Fair Lady short dance with its impoverished movement and truncated edge-work and the sublime that is VM's short - so it's VM's short dance that gets stripped of points, it's VM that choke when they take the ice for the short.
SC is certainly setting the table for the ISU in Sochi, and Scott and Tessa absolutely seem to have outsmarted themselves. Somewhere along the line they believed they could talk reality around. They're the best ice dancers in the world. But they piled too much non-skating agenda onto this season, just as they piled too much agenda onto 2010-2011. 2011 was relatively low-risk and their reasons were completely understandable. There is no justification for this season.
I used to believe you oc. But now idk. They seem not together. And Cassandra seems legit.
ReplyDeleteWhen is the free dance
11:50
DeleteLet me guess. Because you saw it on a reality TV show?
Nothing could be manipulated more than this kind of show. I wouldn't use it as a basis for any conclusions. Tessa and Scott have a clearly documented history of lies. That counts more than this type of show.
Could the scottmoirr instagram actually be real ? A couple of pictures really look private and Denis ten, miki ando, Sarah hecken and Radionova already follow him. Miki even commented one of his pictures.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that Scott Moir account is fake. It's not following anyone whose account is private nor anyone you would expect from Ilderton/London. Maybe the WNetwork is running it, who knows. But I'm positive it's not a personal account of Scott's. The fact that it's public is the first tip-off it's not real.
Delete119.50 for DW's FD and the shibs are down to 101 points. USFSA doesn't even try to appear reasonable anymore.
ReplyDeleteI just hope VM can beat Chock Bates FD score of 108! Probably not.
Delete