Jessica Dube Loves Scott Moir

This show is so fucked up you can second guess until you're twisted. Right now I'm at - is this actually supposed to be believable or is it one of those double or triple blind reverse type deals?

Tessa notes that TIFF is a crazy scene.

"How does Chiddy do this all the time by himself?"
nervous giggles Tessa.

I DON'T do this all the time!
I'm just playing along with your crazy!

Seriously that's all we get from her until Jian the Journalist shows up.
Tee to the hee x 1000.
I did learn she won't share that she's had a child, but she
will overshare about whether or not her legs are smooth.

Which isn't cocktail conversation, because the alternative to smooth
isn't cocktail conversation. Who the fuck wants that visual?
She wants to lock her real stuff down, LOCK IT ALL DOWN bitch.

"Hey - you look great! Last time I saw you,
you were pregnant! Let's hang!"

Behold skating journalism.  This d.j./interviewer/ex-comedian/is identified here as a "journalist." He "journaled" Tessa and Scott while she was very pregnant.

"It was really refreshing to get out and socialize and see other people and

feel like I was a normal person. This wife and mother and skater shit is for the birds.

It was fun. My life is so sheltered at the moment that,
just knowing that that’s out there -
– a life of socializing at invitation only fashion events
wearing couture and interacting with local media celebrities –
just relieves the stress. I know I'll be vomiting a
lot less after this."

It's really hard for Tessa to date, Tessa shares, because she lives in
Canton. Michigan. And Londonontario.  There are
no men in either city.

Basically Tessa just told us that after she's done skating she's going to be a socialite. Good for her.

I know Tessa did some more tee heeing and she vo'd about how she can't wait to have a real relationship instead of this fake nothing happening bullshit with Scott, but I'm done with her. Let's move on to this episode's raison d'etre.

Mommy and Dad let Scotty boy use the
basement TV space for girlfriend sexy times.

Let's take a closer look.

You get it dawg.

There it is. It's morning. And he went over there at night.
Nobody can say Alma's little boy isn't a real man.

I may be just spelunking for a silver lining, but when I look at Chiddy in this it's hard not to wonder if it's beginning to dawn on him that Scott and Tessa are both really really really REALLY stupid. Chiddy's a character, and at times seems possibly a little volatile, and a little young, but he's smart. We can see that. He's got enough brains to go on with.

Scott and Tessa? I bet we're not the only ones catching on.

There's the minor, doesn't mean anything evidence, which is that a lot of Skate Canada's skaters are bilingual (Chiddy's tri or quad lingual) and Scott and Tessa just about pass in English, and that's it. There's been all kinds of opportunity to get a grasp on at least French, but nah. Bryce learned it in what - a few months? It's kind of something you'd think they'd catch onto at this point, but nope.

Then there's the real evidence that all the lights aren't on upstairs: Everything Scott and Tessa say, and everything they do.

It can take years for even people close to them to figure that out. Between the pretty, the sweet, the ability to compete, and the huge figure skating talent and dance talent, a lot of people take it as given that with all of that, the other basics must of course be present - a good dose of smarts, common sense, ability to reason, a certain amount of maturity. All that personal appeal sort of READS like the more substantial stuff. It can take years before it dawns on anyone that talent and personal appeal don't = substance.

(Their "unique" history and their 'sheltered' environment doesn't create or account for this level of both dumb ass and jackass. They just got severely shortchanged in the critical thinking department.)

(This is a theme in literature AND a theme in beach reads. I recall a Maeve Binchey novel where the heroine - a beautiful, talented, sensitive woman, abandons her family to run off with the love of her life, only to realize less than ten years later that he's really really stupid, a bit pathetic, and kind of a fraud.)

In the past Tessa and Scott were outliers because they were beautiful, because of the love and chemistry between them, and because of their outrageous skating talent. It almost stands to reason if they have all that, we can at least expect they have the same brains as the rest of the figure skaters in Canada. And we would be wrong.

I'm thinking maybe people are realizing that their good friends, their colleagues, their role models, are as genuinely crazy (versus endearingly crazy) and deeply, impenetrably stupid as it gets.