Funny Face was funnier than I thought

Hey, remember last season when Scott and Tessa sought a moment of our time? Put out a random-seeming first person video from Paris (TEB), batted their eyes, told us they were taking an "extra day" in Paris? They were excited to tour all the typically Parisian places, emphasizing the plan was to take photos at the classic Funny Face highlights around town? They mentioned the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre.


There she is.
Jessica Dube poses for Scott Moir a la Audrey Hepburn 
by the Louvre at TEB 2011. Kind of like a modern spin
on Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face.
Except it doesn't look like Scott's camera is even aimed at Jessica.

Remember how Tessa smiled and shared that she wanted to have a crepe? It was weird because apropos of nothing they were skyping the fandom to tell us about their "extra day" and it seemed random. Were they taking baby steps?

Above is a little whack-a-mole from Absolute Skating from last year's TEB, captioned: Jessica Dube poses for Scott Moir.

See Jessica's pose with the arm flung up and out. Isn't this adorable? She's Audrey to Scott's Fred. And down below, they're in front of the Eiffel Tower. This is awesome.

Tessa and Scott keep producing their own do-it-yourself version of Jackass. This is typical of the 'nice things' fans are deprived of because of the blog.

Did any of us expect jack shit from Scott and Tessa from Paris? No.They sought us out especially to share their excitement about this special extra day. They were so fresh-scubbed kidlike about it.The clever - it never gets old. 

ETA - as a comment under this post said, Scott and Tessa's conceit is really something. At this point they're working only off their fantasy of what they think their celebrity must be in Canada.

Even when they compete, attendance at the big events is poor. There were people watching Canadians who didn't know who Scott and Tessa were. There are tumbleweeds blowing through some of the fan sites and threads set up to talk about Scott/Tessa right after the Olympics. The people who reliably tweet and post about them the most are at this point such a small group we can all name them.

It's obvious the fans who have a good idea there's no Jessica and there is a Scott/Tessa are keeping their mouths shut in public.  It's all down to Team Virtue Moir's own petty resentment and pride at this point. Insist on your right to lie, Tessa and Scott. If there's a place you can't lie, you'll take your toys and leave. 

Speculation was they planned a Funny Face-related photo shoot to spring upon us for Canadians or Worlds. But the photos many fans assumed they were talking about never surfaced.

Remember when they did this?
Scott and Tessa:
"We. We we we we we we we. We're staying an
extra day. We want to see all of our favorite things in Paris.
WE are staying an extra day because WE want to take photos of all
the classic Paris sites. That's what WE are doing.
All the famous stuff even idiots like you would know were part
of Paris. We are doing this. Photos. Us. We. Keep an eye out."

When they did the above video, anyone with a working memory would figure they were up to something. The blog immediately called out what they were doing and consequently, no photos from their fun extra day in Paris were ever shared with us.

Wouldn't it have been fantastic if Charlie and Meryl had approached fans to enthuse about the great love for Vienna they both shared, how they loved it so much they were going to spend an off-ice day in Vienna taking photos at places that evoked Die Fleudermaus? But it turned out to be Charlie photographing Tanith who was aping a contemporary version of Meryl's character, even though Meryl and Charlie had killed themselves leading fans on to think it was gonna be them? So charming.

I suspect that Tanith and D/W would have considered the idea pretty assy. I bet Scott and Tessa don't see the parallel. Tanith is the real gf, and D/W are platonic. That's way different than Scott really being with Tessa, and using a fake gf as a blind.

But, we're supposed to believe the fake gf is real, so that means for people who believe, it comes off ASSY.

And for people who know better, it also comes off ASSY.

Great role models. Manipulative by default. Vain, bitchy, treacherous, malicious, competitive and trying to one up fans for sport. What kind of egos are these? Oversized, but made of glass?

What kind of people are they besides douchebags who play at being snobs? Scott once said he wasn't a classy guy. I think he meant "refined." But dude. You were still on point.  

They meant with Jessica!

Dessous Le Tour Eiffel! With Jessica!

Goodness. We know there are photos of crepe-eating, demitasse-sipping, Seine-boating, stair parading Jessica all over the place from TEB circa Funny Face, with Jessica cutesily posing for Scott, and they had to put those photos on ice. It must kill them, the stuff on his old facebook, the stuff they took time to photograph, all wasted!  All this great stuff they never got to use to... to...?

I get the idea the whole "photo shoot" had already happened when Scott and Tessa set us up in that video, so they were lying about going to do it. They'd done it already. How much you want to bet?

This photo shoot and sting was the month after the profile photo stuff on Scott's facebook and after the birthday wishes sting.

Link to blog post about them setting us up in Paris 2011

I want Tracey Wilson to tell us what the "good reasons" are for Tessa and Scott to behave this way.

Are Scott and Tessa just too shy to come out and say it? "We laugh at you, and how many ways do we have to prove it? Jesus, you people are stupid!"

Maybe they want fans to get the point already. What fans would stick around to be treated like this by people who make a point of using their most lovely-seeming qualities as a decoy? A way to set fans up to mock fans for liking them and being interested?

"Look at us flirt and laugh and smile! You fall for that shit all the time, don't you! Get a clue you dumb fucks!"

Do Scott and Tessa pump filtered oxygen into their bubble, so their lungs aren't contaminated with air the ordinary people breathe? You know they've looked into it.

Look at Scott and Tessa when we know they're lying. The very serious-faced interviews they gave recounting the rift over her shins, the communication blackout that never happened (they were living together in London where both were based during that period). I don't mean the fidgety, we're not a couple stuff, but the video above, for example.

Then look at video when we can reasonably believe they're telling the truth.

Manipulative.

They have had an exclusive environment because they trained for an elite sport throughout their formative years, have been in love with each other forever, and feel rarefied. They're not interested in not being rarefied, even though they're 25 and 23, married and parents. They want to keep living in a bubble, and they want to remind fans, through mean stunts like this, that the bubble is exclusive and not meant for the likes of the public in any way, shape or form. That's a weird combination of insecure and dickish.

 

I think what I love the most is they're the ones working people over but for all the world they (or those who've helped them) come off like they think the people who don't like to get played by them are haters, and they're just going to rise above. But this isn't really about those two, even though they think everything is about them. It's about fans, and how they treat them. There's nobody who deserves what Scott and Tessa have done with fans, and it wasn't and isn't called for by anything in Scott and Tessa's circumstances.*

It's not only the athletic track that has produced these two. It's also money. Insulated from the real  money concerns that preoccupy most figure skaters (not abstract concerns about business or long-term planning, but basic and fundamental insecurities about money - rent, food, medical bills, etc. that concern many of their teammates), Scott and Tessa can afford to toy with fans for sport.They can afford to think of themselves as extra super duper ultra "unique".*

Other skaters would be afraid of alienating the public, because popularity is their ticket. Scott and Tessa can literally afford to indulge themselves with their effete preoccupation with pranking the lowly fans who've presumed to show interest in the two of them.

I think they are more than the product of an exclusive athletic environment and personal relationship combining to produce a couple of people who miss bigger contexts, who miss connections, as it relates to public relations.This is not a consequence of their skating life. They get this from their families. And as they're both well into adulthood, this is who they are as people, not skaters. "Where are their families"? is a question that gets asked, as if surely the grown-ups would see how bad this is and set things to rights. If not the Moirs, then the Virtues.

This IS their families. And as for the Virtues, Tessa goes out of her way to paint her relationship with her mother as so close that any guy she's with better expect a threesome.

It's nearly enough to make one feel bad for Jessica. Scott and Tessa believe fans deserve garbage. And so what the fans got is a big load of Jessica Dube.

_______________________

*I love how they do extreme shit like these scams and hoaxes, stings and set-ups, all to fend off the crowds of nosy fans that apparently encroach upon them, but then Tessa turns around and describes being in the parade at the Gold Medal Celebration as a case of her looking around to see where the REAL celebrities were in the parade. Or when she wrote about the invitation to dine with Queen Elizabeth when the Queen was in Canada, and this first Canadian Olympic gold medalist in the sport of ice dancing gushed "But what could we have done to deserve such an honor!" That girl could cut the disingenuous starry-eyed stuff in half and it would still be overkill.

 

The way Scott and Tessa have exploited their privileged circumstances makes the privileged D/W and the Shibs look fantastic.

P.S. I wonder if Scott and Tessa smirked at the idea fans would believe them going around Paris doing cheesy like posing Funny Face-ily. They've been to Paris tons of times before.