Paul Poirier explains

The week ended with another big surprise for us. Shortly before the beginning of the gala, we were asked to speak to the organizing committee about a problem… Due to illness, one of the teams was forced to withdraw from gala, but the slot still needed to be filled to keep the TV schedule consistent. We were asked to fill it, based on the reception our programs received. As I mentioned in the last paragraph, Piper and I were so pleased by all the positive feedback, and so honoured by the OC’s request.

I think this was like the big surprise when skatebug "malfunctioned" and Debbi Wilkes ended up enthroned next to the Kiss'n'Cry where, throughout the entire event, up to and including the medal ceremony, nobody in the entire arena could avoid looking at her nor escape her incessant, imbecilic bloviating.

Like Debbi, Paul and Piper are prepared for surprises. They'd packed two sets of gala costumes, as well as copies of two pieces of gala music, and brought them to Paris all the way from Canada having no idea there was such a big surprise in store or that their competition programs would be as well received as they were (finishing with 135.85 to the American dance team, Hubbell & Donohue, who finished two places ahead of Piper and Paul at 145.23).

Sixth place for Piper and Paul  = 3 gala slots for G&P, while finishing in fourth place, just off the podium = zero, zip, no available gala slots for H&D. 

Reminds me of reading in a Donald Trump bio about Marla Maples toting her wedding dress around with her from golf course to golf course from New York to Palm Beach in hopes she'd catch The Donald in a marrying mood between games. Is that how Piper and Paul roll?

Considering Paul and Piper say they were asked to fill the slot of a team that couldn't perform due to illness, what accounts for the 2.5 slots Paul and Piper ultimately skated? Gosh, poor Hubbell Donohue. They're nice skaters, but they're just not the instant crowd favorites Paul and Piper have become worldwide.

"Based on the reception our programs received"* - there's your humble brag and the chosen angle of spin. Last I checked, their positive feedback included a 51 in the short program while Hubbell Donohue cleaned their clocks in the long. But the audience knows what it likes, and they want Paul and Piper! 

Piper and Paul had packed these clothes to wear to dinner in Paris.
It was a big surprise they were then asked to skate in them.

Fortunately, Paul and Piper were able to swiftly download
and edit copies of their music on cds for the gala playlist.

Last minute group spot! The team with the illness wouldn't
have fit in nearly as well so it all worked out.

Paul and Piper are real troopers to be able to skate two gala programs and a brand new group spot on next to no notice.

Skate Canada has been as subtle as a brick in the face when it comes to promoting Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier. But surely even Skate Canada wouldn't arrange in advance of the competition for the TEB OC to invite Paul and Piper to skate in the gala, and then try to pass it off as an invitation by popular demand once some other team fell ill.** 
_________________________
*It also uses the old weasely, evasive passive voice, so conspicuous in Paul's explanation.
"Received" by whom? The crowd? The OC? Or received by Debbi Wilkes and Skate Canada? "Well" received, for that matter, since they didn't specify?

I think they're hoping to insinuate all good things without having to flat out say it and risk contradiction by others there who didn't have the same impression.

**We might want to keep an eye on some near-the-bottom French skater's gala appearance at London Worlds, or a French skater or team receiving an unusually generous p.r. boost or shout out from Skate Canada (or one of Barb's friends at icenetwork.com).

Withdrawal from the gala by another team or not, that would simply pad out Paul and Piper's gala participation, not make it possible in the first place. And even that pretext is suspicious. Give us a break. Two sets of gala costumes and two sets of gala music cuts in their luggage for a competition where they were sure to finish off the podium? What for? A team that wasn't on the podium - the sick team - was going to skate two exhibition programs?

Linsanity

The New York Knicks have a point guard sensation named Jeremy Lin. He's not "just" a basketball player - he's a Harvard Grad.* Today's New York Post covers the "story"* of brands beating down Lin's agent's email in hopes of getting on board what's anticipated may become a "global-marketing juggernaut."

Page Six's source alluded to the volume of reach-outs Lin has received culminating with this flourish as the coup de gras: "He's met with IMG."

Oh yes. If you want to be a marketing force, if you want to be a brand - who you gonna call? Debbi Wilkes? For all her experience coupled with the sort of marketing acuity that speaks for itself, I'd say no. It's still IMG.

Unless you've made Debbi-directed decisions in your strategic marketing and publicity life that have become legitimate marketing agentry kryptonite. That's when you make a side trip to Japan to figure skate among wafting CGI rose petals to the great entertainment of everyone on tumblr.**

The Lin source mentions that it can take a year to nail down the types of deals being set up for Jeremy (Reportedly, Lin feels above the luxury watch market popular with other star b-ballers - he wants to bring Harvard in there somehow as part of his brand - a bit less ostentatious). I suppose that's similar except not to having your biggest deal (VM's with Roots) go down the toilet in less than a year when it was touted to be for four years.

But if Scott and Tessa were with IMG, chances are we'd never have gotten this:

This is classic Olympic gold medal winning endorsement quality right here.
It's just like the stuff Michelle Kwan did for Chevrolet.

___________________
*Safe bet the "story" came from Jeremy Lin's agent as the agent (Roger Montgomery) is the only non-star name bolded in the item even though the quotes are from an unnamed "source".

**I called this a "Hyandai" commercial in a prior post. It's Toyota hybrid - its brand qualities beautifully expressed by Tessa and Scott above and especially when the rose petals magically reconfigure into a bouquet once Tessa is comfortably soporific in the back seat.

Toyota can repurpose this commercial down the line - sell it out as stock footage for the happy pill market. Not cause I'm sleepy watching it but just look at those faces.
_____________________________
*"Balance" is important to Jeremy.

Director of Business Development and Director of Corporate Communications

Look at Margo Channing and Eve Harrington up there, doing what they do best.*

Front and center with their star figure skaters.

Enjoying the benefits of Skate Canada's dime while doing nothing that benefits anyone besides its stars.

Avoiding real work or learning how to do their so-called jobs better; and, what makes it all run:

Shamelessness.

_____________________________________
*Meantime, much of the fandom had no idea who the USFSA officials on scene at the medal ceremonies might be. This must account for why the USFSA is run so poorly and Skate Canada is in fantastic shape.

Even the thumbnail is priceless

Look at that. Right from the top, a heavenly beam of light shining upon Sandra. God's own lens filter.*

But Debbi won't go down without a fight. Who's going to face emote more? Who's smarmier? Who marvels the most? Who will shrug more, smile most wisely, sprinkle more spoon-sized portions of pedestrian platitudes hacked from the largest blocks of mind-numbing banality? Whose cloying self-satisfaction will smog up the frame first? We'll just see!

Well let's be real - Sandra had this won going in.

But just look at that symphony of competitive passive aggressive upstaging. The beams of wry, well-earned worldly wisdom, the turning to and fro to us, the viewer. Sandra smiles, Debbi smiles, Sandra laughs lightly, Debbi laughs lightly, Sandra's eyes widen, Debbi's eyes narrow then widen, they both swivel towards us then back towards each other, dear God.

You almost figure that Sandra is who Debbi would want to be and Debbi is who Sandra thinks about when she gets down on her metaphorical knees and thanks God for good-looking parents.

Not that Debbi isn't lovely, but the difference between her and Sandra is genetics.

This must be a dream sequence I watched on netflix from the makers of The Hangover. It's too good to be real.
_________________________________
*And that's a LOT of filter, gotta say. Kudos for finding meadow calibre sunshine in a Canadian January.*

               _________________________
               * Or did the sunshine find her?

P.S.
On a non-snark basis, below is a link to the basic responsibilities of a business development department. Just adapt the model to an organization like Skate Canada, and remember that Debbi is the so-called Director of this department. Remember that Canadian competitions are the showcase for SC's business development department - SC's business development department should be up to its ears in networking, hospitality and access initiatives for existing and potential sponsors - and a director of business development ought to be on task nurturing and developing relationships all year long. It requires research, targeted outreach, strategic planning, project management, review, short and long-term goal setting, budgeting, analysis, etc.

Instead during the Vancouver Olympics Debbi was up in the star figure skaters' grill as usual, overseeing a public hoax, and team freaking leader. At every Canadian competition, domestic or international, there's her mug on Skatebuzz and there's her face at practices. When there's no competition, she finds filler to get her face on Skatebuzz. And on a "runs itself" event like HPC, she's making sure she's the only background with an unobstructed, face forward camera lens sightline. Not to mention Debbi popping up "in line" at a book signing no actual fan apparently attended at Western Challenge 2010 in order to stick her gigantic mike in Scott and Tessa's faces and inform them what she needs them to say.

What she does on camera takes a lot of prep.

No way Debbi is doing this

So Debbi is doing no business development. I don't know what you'd call her creepy Minister of Information/in-house goodwill ambassador/ media personality gig, but that's what she does.

See all the white space on the boards at Canadians? No business development. I suspect Debbi is owed in some way as there seems no limit to the on camera opportunities she's free to create for herself on Channel Debbi, such as the Bezic interview here. We don't see Sandra enough, we needed Debbi to be our window.

It's not as if Debbi is pitching in with the camera stuff because Skate Canada is run by volunteers and she has to wear a media hat in addition to her business development hat. There is no business development hat, and Skatebuzz promotes Debbi versus promoting figure skating.

Who is doing business development?

Last point- I'm seriously mystified by Skate Canada's obsession with its own logo. Yes, that's the brand image but the brand itself has to be developed before you obsess over the graphics. The graphic itself is not going to do anything to get people interested in Skate Canada.

What is wrong with her?



"Say it!!!"
Debbi Wilkes "interviews" Virtue and Moir

"And I know you talk a lot about now you feel like you're the veterans but I think you also feel that there's a responsibility in that too am I right Scott?"

BOOM. 

This woman literally spoons the words into the skaters' mouths. It's all her her her. She's unbearable.

From what I gather Debbi Wilkes was an okay pairs skater who medaled in an Olympics. That's great but she's not a particular stand-out in Canadian skating history. Where does she get her hubris? Where does she get her belief that her audience is a bunch of imbeciles who need her to act. out. her. interviews. Where does she get her idea that the camera loves her face?

Tracy Wilson has about ninety thousand times the resume and recognition factor but does not turn and cheese at the camera to cue us how to react to what was just said, nor does she pry open the skater's mouth and put in the words. And in the category of former skaters as media personalities, there are all kinds of good-natured seeming blithering idiots but none with the self-regard of Debbi Wilkes, none with the absolute belief in his/her own pompous pronouncements. From her interview with Carolina Kostner, which remains epic in recent annals of condescension, to Wilkes shamelessly orchestrating each interview with each figure skater so as to continually reference herself, to how neither she nor Thompson bother pretending she actually attends to the responsibilities attendant with her Director's title, what the unholy fuck with this woman.

Where does this lady get her balls? What higher ups fucked a bunch of goats and because Debbi has the photos they turned Debbi loose in front of a camera and gave her a bunch of phony, ever-evolving titles that essentially build-in on-camera-face time because the job description has "marketing" "public relations" or "communications" in it?

Debbi Wilkes is like a movie character.  Her smarmy demeanor, her just-folks word usage, her power-tripping cloaked in unctuous, control freak manipulation and pandering. Her fake job. Her omnipresence. Her fingers in every pie, and her sticking a bit too close to the skaters' personal lives and in their physical space. The way she makes each little sentence component a little teaching moment because we're so dim witted we can only process information a syllable at a time. Her huge smile - often when no one else is smiling. Her obsession with controlling the narrative and putting words in people's mouths. She's straight out of Central Casting as a stereotypical movie villain - she could go in a comedy sketch as is without tweaking a thing. Sometimes it's hard to believe she's real. 

P.S. - Moore-Towers Moscovitch had a trainwreck of a long program and so Dube/Wolfe got silver after putting down a somewhat cautious, wobbly, apprehensive-feeling but overall clean program. They've improved a lot but even adding in the triple twist, their clean skate finished only about eight points ahead of  MTM's spectacular debacle. They are unlikely to add choreographic content or up the difficulty.

William Thompson is making noise that he might send Phaneuf to Worlds. I think it's ridiculous not to send Lacoste. It doesn't matter if SC sends 1 lady to Worlds next year or twelve when all the ladies suck. Better to send the bronze medalist who can at least do a triple/triple. Instead of kissing mediocre veteran ass, give it to Kaitlyn Osmond so she can start getting international experience under her belt.  Hell, if you're going to play wriggle room games, give the second pairs slot at Worlds to MTM, who are unlikely to go down on a lift again in the same program where Kirsten trips and does a face plant mid jump sequence, and so are likely to place higher than a clean Dube/Wolfe.

What would happen if there were a smoking gun?

A lot of people - whom I think don't realize how much stuff is kept under wraps about a lot of public figures - ask why someone doesn't blow the whistle on Scott and Tessa. Publicly. There, unrefutable in digital font on the web. The official record.

 

How would that play out? Someone reputable in the "figure skating community" gives the lowdown to someone in the media on the condition of anonymity and then what. What would the media get out of it but restricted access and bad will? What would the person get out of it since they'd be anon? (If their name was attached to the tip-off they'd be in for a world of payback and distrust.) 

A lot of the media which might receive the "tip" already know the deal but as long as Scott and Tessa officially deny it, the media is covered. All the media needs to do is frame. Everything written sources what Scott and Tessa say about themselves, and omits that the media may know differently. We've all seen it: "The two of them have always maintained..." and: "Not so, say the skaters. Close friends, they aver that the romantic connection has always been strictly ice-bound and ends when they put on skate guards."

If the article's frame is to report what the skaters say, it doesn't matter if the person writing the feature knows otherwise. Most personality coverage follows these conventions - makes things not so sticky.

But suppose there were a "dead-to-rights" expose. Of some type. A photo. On the LIPS! (Apparently that is the skating world smoking gun.) OMG - the scandal!

Except, not really - just another couple who said they were just friends when they were actually more than that. A whole lot more. Is there anything shady there? No - just a legitimate relationship - no soap opera except the one they made up. The reality is kind of cut and dried. Sweet, romantic, endearing - but not voidy. 

But they lied!

Yeah, the media is not going to flagellate them over that. It'll be our fault;  they'll explain this to us with their own spin on Tessa's "nature of the sport" pass if that angle gets covered at all. A well-intended, darling but unwittingly burdensome and intrusive fan or two (not too attractive, and definitely female) will be dragged out to serve as typical examples of the sort of intrusion Tessa and Scott had to shield themselves against.

The media didn't touch Sale & Pelletier's divorce - you think any of the skating media -  many email buddies and social friends of Skate Canada officials - are gonna make it ugly for Scott and Tessa?

So it must be that the core concern here is that once exposed - or if they were somehow forced to come clean - what an horrific ordeal for Scott and Tessa fanwise. We all know VM have no control over the questions they may be asked in entertainment media format, nor control over what they choose to disclose. If fans officially knew - imagine what Tessa and Scott would have to reveal. Everything.

 

Isn't that what other public sports couples suffer when their status is publicized? Fans immediately know their home addresses, their in-law problems if any, the size of their bank account, whether it was smart to have a kid so young, whether it was smart to have a kid and still compete, the names of their doctors, their medical records, how often the couple has sex, who loves who more, how do they juggle it all, and then fans wade in with criticism and commentary. Just ask Marie-France and Patch. And Jamie and David. And Jessica and Bryce. I'm not talking about when Jessica and Bryce voluntarily tabloided themselves with Menage a blah blah sur la Glace - but their sweet ingenue romance in the run-up to and including Torino 2006. Remember? They were picked apart. Their private lives were a freaking fishbowl.

If only there were help available - some sort of professional resource experienced in managing challenges like these for figure skaters so that figure skaters could maintain a comfortable zone of privacy and the strategic impression of accessibility (remember, accessibility is spending time; it's not disclosure. It's sharing a real or manufactured fan-friendly experience -  not - here, have a look at the transcript of our last argument and while we're at it, here's some notes from my gyno.) If only such a professional entity existed, the skaters could engage with fans, have a comfortable and sustainable private life that they were rarely called upon to discuss directly, and they could pursue their business interests without a lot of lying.

Since nothing like that has been invented, clearly the only choice is either to reveal everything you're doing, have done, and plan to do in your private life together while the fans swarm over every detail - OR - create the strategic impression of fan accessibility by manufacturing a fake relationship with someone you don't like or trust and at regular intervals pretend to make out with her on facebook for the entertainment of thousands of strangers. I mean, it's obvious.

Whoever framed the choice like that possessed impeccable marketing credentials. I wonder if they were a double threat - maybe they also teach psychology at Windsor. You've got to believe that school is just churning out geniuses of critical analysis.

Must admit, sometimes I really do want to know who teaches Tessa's psychology classes, if she does study that as she claims. If she compartmentalizes or if the subject is abstract with no real world application. Probably it's like all figure skater education in Canada - sucky. At least that's what Skate Canada seems to imply. Did you know their 21-year-old, trilingual college aspirant, ethnic Chinese World Figure Skating Champion spoke out about Chinese culture without, apparently, actually knowing anything about Chinese culture, but since he's not a "political scientist" - don't judge? I'm guessing the psychology courses at Windsor must be brain busters.

And let's be real - surely the proven strategy of accessibility as = spending time or sharing fan friendly experiences is full of holes. What fans really want is the intimate WORDS. The STORIES. Did I say intimate? Yeah I did. Intimate like - 

We were once lovers.  

We went to counseling.

We're not fucking.

Skate Canada loves counseling almost as much as it loves skating partners not fucking. Sports counseling, marriage. Do-it-yourself group counseling of the "how did that make you feel" variety practiced on young figure skaters by Suzanne Killing and Paul MacIntosh, MSW, per the VM book. Personality quizzes administered to D&D with results reported in the media. This is serious, high level coaching stuff. 

I remember back when Joe Torre sat Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez down in a couple of chairs in the Yankee locker room before batting practice. It got a little emotional at times, but after talking it out, taking the quizzes, talking about the results and how it made them feel they really learned a lot about themselves - and each other. And it made their batting better, because Jeter no longer worried that if he didn't get a hit, he'd no longer have Alex's respect and Alex no longer worried that if he didn't get a hit, he'd never get Derek's respect. It brought them together as teammates, and that's really important when you're trying to prepare for a World Series run.

I am dying to know what sort of group therapy Zoueva, Shpilband, Frank Carroll, Kristy Krall, Mr. Nicks and, in days of yore, Carlo Fassi, conducted with their skaters. Chairs in a circle? "Look at Peggy when you say it - say it to her, not me." *

Boiled down, it looks to me that Scott and Tessa were told that "marketing" = TMI. And Tessa wasn't excited about it. No one was. But who can argue with the marketing wizards of Skate Canada - your Mike Slipchuks, your William Thompsons and their genius hires, everyone with their extensive background operating star-making machinery. Who could argue against their assertion that the key to exciting the public and creating skating stars is intimate information, personal disclosure - not access, not time spent with the skaters themselves? Who could argue with such a well-researched policy built upon the solid conclusion that a successful marketing initiative keys off personal disclosure of intimate life information?

Make no mistake - it's certainly not them - Bill, Debbi, Mike - with the icky, gross, unusual interest in the personal details of skaters' intimate sexual and emotional relationships with each other.

It's fans. Fans are the perverts. So Mike, Bill & Co. say - you have to do it - you want Skate Canada to make money, don't you? Skate Canada is practically more Canadian than the actual Canada. I know you're patriotic. Let's cut to the chase - it's women who watch this stuff. Mike and me - we know these types. It's the same demo that watches soaps. We can turn the whole ship around with this. Tessa, stop freaking out - you don't think we're gonna make you tell actual stuff do you? You tell us that stuff - don't leave out the details - we need to know so we know what to lie about. The rest of you, as soon as any of you start fucking each other, let us know immediately so we can get some photos taken for facebook leading fans in the other direction.

So, were the skaters told that's what sells? Skating? Nah. Personalities? Nah. Personal stories. Detailed personal stories. Intimate.

Estrangements. Sobbing drives to the airport for the first competition of the Olympic season. Broken trust and trust rebuilt. Triangles. Destroyed friendships. A one-man Pied Piper of dating cutting a swathe through the ice dancers of Canton and leaving behind  satisfied smiles and enhanced female bonding. A female ice dancer who can skate a competitive short dance all summer, twirl off her partner's thigh and land on one foot in exhibitions and stand in line at Club Bud in heels but her legs are too painful to get her to the fridge. Ex-fuck buddies with a bitter break-up who decide they need to skate it out in their Olympic LP. A woman who broke up a famous pairs skating duo's marriage and a man who busted up his best friend's relationship with his skating partner telling us they felt a mild breeze from each other's lips at practice one day and totally freaked because it had never even hit them that the other had male or female parts. They were dying to return to their innocent pre-expulsion-from-Eden state as soon as possible - just as soon as they finished their latest exhibition featuring their customary feeling each other up, clawing at each other's hair, kissing thighs and staring down each other's tonsils.

Yep, this is the stuff they've been cranking out instead of revealing the sensitive truth. And it's been a big hit, worked just like Slipchuk said it would. And best of all, as long as they pump this stuff out, Scott and Tessa don't have to whore out their actual intimate details.

Because we all know in marketing - that's required.

________________________________
*I'm pro-counseling, just anti-quack. Also, not sure why this is part of the "getting to know you" promotional material for Canada's figure skaters.

What date and time did this "book signing" take place?

I'm backdating and sliding this in behind the more recent posts.

Here is Debbi explaining that she's in line to get Scott and Tessa's new book. Signed. That's how she says it. Each word its own sentence because, you know, we need help. Words is hard. So, yet another screen cap from Debbi's infamous tete a tete with Scott and Tessa at the Hershey Centre during Western Challenge, Dec. 2010.



Michael Scott of The Office waiting to get Scott and Tessa's new book. Signed.

So Debbi stands in line along with the camera that lives with her, because you know, she's not there for a pre-arranged interview. She's in line and the camera just happened to be there when it was her turn to approach the table. After telling Scott and Tessa what to write when they sign it, she wields the large microphone she has with her at all times and begins to chat with them.

The book signing above, we're told, is the concourse of the Hershey Center, and while in line Debbi shares that a big event is happening - almost as big as what's happening on ice in the arena. Scott and Tessa are signing. Very exciting says Debbi.

Yep. You can see the fans tripping over themselves up above - one in volunteer blue, another dude carrying volunteer blue, and a lady in the back looking at something she's holding. And Debs. All that's missing is a scrum. Falling down on the job, Barb?

A bunch of fans attended Western Challenge - one or two saw Scott in the corridor. What I want to know is when did this signing happen. Fans in attendance - those who reported from the arena - all seem to have missed it. Between what events? What day? What time of day? Anybody there for it?

What Debbi Wilkes was supposed to be doing

http://www.imgworld.com/services/categories/olympics.aspx

This is a description of what are basically services IMG is able to provide in the sponsorship and corporate partnership area during an Olympics.

Make the services Skate Canada specific and there's a snapshot of the responsibilities built into the job of "Director of Business Development."

Bill Thompson specifically cited Debbi's "relationships" as a value add Skate Canada would benefit from in hiring her for the Director's job.

Now figure out how Debbi can do this job for Skate Canada/Canada - especially as SC hasn't the infrastructure IMG enjoys - and be the Canadian figure skating team's Team Leader during the Olympics, not to mention:



Skatebuzz, Skate Canada 2011




ACGM "Gala" rehearsal

 The above photo is so gross. Debbi always manages to be right in there. Her face is in the shot, and her face is as close as she can get it to the figure skater. Add in that it gives the appearance a freaking grown up person can't say words without her CLOSE supervision, very CLOSE supervision, approval and comment.

Hidden from view is the giant spoon Debbi holds to place words in a skater's mouth syllable by syllable.

Now the ratio of Skate Canada's ambition and self-regard vis a vis its competence doesn't flatter any of its Directors. Still, I sincerely doubt Bill Thompson hired Debbi expecting her to actually do the job the implied in her title. He just gave her a title - a title that's been somewhat fluid over the years - and set her loose on her real job, which is apparently living up the asses of Skate Canada's star figure skaters when they're on camera. I think the actual business development part was going to take care of itself. Now that it's a bit of a mess, it's Bill's baby. Debbi ain't doing it. But we'll see her front and center on Skatebuzz come nationals, along with more video showing silent, inane clips of figure skaters' faces and riveting footage of parking lots.

Built into Debbi's real job is the premise that figure skaters are figure skaters - they can't string a sentence together - they're figure skaters! They know nothin 'bout politics - they're figure skaters! They don't know how to describe their program or their competition performance - they're figure skaters!*  Figure skaters are encouraged to be robots, inarticulate, ignorant and camera-shy, because that opens up a role for Debbi who is their conductor, maestro, etc. vis a vis the camera.

Not to mention look how Skate Canada fell over Patrick Chan after that interview he gave - it's like a posse of babysitters rushed into the play group to bail him out, elbowing each other for the spotlight. It was ridiculous. Chan is an adult (but - but - he's a figure skater!). But Skate Canada is a little quick on the draw to insert itself into any media opportunity and divert attention to its personnel instead of its skaters.

Of course, Debbi, too, is a figure skater and what she's good at is truly obnoxious interviews such as her interview with Carolina Kostner, attempting to turn figure skaters into little Debbi parrots, and of course, promoting Debbi.
_____________________________
*Debbi just wasn't painfully obnoxious and patronizing while interviewing Kostner, she also said to Scott Moir "Tell us about the short program. " and then she prompted: "The fall." Because otherwise Scott is not going to know to address it. I also wish the skaters and whoever is interviewing (and it would be nice if it wasn't Debbi so we could delude ourselves SC takes care of actual business) would be miked instead of wielding a mike to and fro as if it's a completely different era.

But this is fine

For God knows what convoluted and clown-ass reasons, Skate Canada has determined that the public must not ever ever EVER believe not EVER that any of its figure skating partnerships are romantic. Lately they've resorted to tactics that are the marketing equivalent of a parent hiding nutrients in a vegetable-averse kid's omelet or lasagne. 

SC goes to quite a bit of facebook trouble also, to emphasize that within partnerships, sex ain't happening.

But this is fine for one of their figure skater's facebooks. (I read this last summer, so it  had remained visible on Jessica Dube's fb for over 3 years.)

No un-vetted photo of Tessa/Scott or Jessica/Bryce ever makes it onto anyone's fb, but this thing sits right there.

It was in the "boxes" section of her fb. This screen capture doesn't have her name, but it was sitting in her fb with her name all over it and comments from her friends below it.

Yes, she's French Canadian but she did the quiz in English and slapped in asterisks and said "as a joke!" so she was fairly well having it both ways here. She knows.

I think back then Jessica was in what she terms a "gangsta-girly" fashion phase with the head wrap bandana and she also sported puffy gold earrings at times, and so the favorite word to say may have been part of the package.

Yet she found it prudent to asterisk some key letters.* The rest of her possible favorite words are spelled out.

I took the quiz so I could see the answers. I scored about where her friends scored - except for Bryce, who crushed the field and commented that he thinks Jessica may have lied on her quiz.

During the Patrick Chan pseudo-brouhaha about China, where it later emerged it's entirely the fault of selfish, unpatriotic corporate Canada that Skate Canada has shit for sponsors, it turned out Patrick Chan didn't realize there were human rights violations in China. Then people jumped in to say you barely have a history requirement in Canadian high schools so it's not his fault. And then it's mentioned the USA is almost as bad.

Well shit, then how did I find out about it? Oh that's right - when I was in school they taught me to read.

And come to find out - since I was aware that China had been accused of human rights violations - this makes me a political scientist. According to an attorney/backer who spoke up for Chan.**

Maybe it's making more sense why Debbi Wilkes speaks to the public as if they learned the alphabet song only yesterday.

But it's okay! Who cares if our figure skaters haven't got no education (even those who've applied to the University of Colorado).  We not only don't care if everybody knows our skaters are ignorant - we'll defend it. He's a figure skater. Give him a break - Patrick didn't even know China was its own country til last week.***

Say this stuff loud and proud and Skate Canada has no problem. In fact, what could have been an - eh, there-goes-Patrick-again situation turned into crisis management (at last - Barb MacDonald had a crisis! You know that got added to her bullet-pointed credentials even before she sent her customary a.m. email to ice-network.com.) with Thompson talking and Barb talking and reporters who live in the SC tank prompted to get the SC spin out there. 

A 24-hour news cycle event turned into a week (it's figure skating, so 24-hour is a little generous - how about 25 minutes). They took a skater's whine and blew it up to a posturing, grand-standing clusterfuck with at least two SC officials getting their names in print. What SC does best. Your government funding at work.

In the category of other things SC and the "skating community" thinks is just fine to put out there, I recently went looking for a Dube Davison article I remembered reading, where somebody working with them felt it important to tell us explicitly that they used to be "lovers".  Not a "couple". "Lovers."  Try as I might, I couldn't un-read it.

So I took some pepto-bismol and googled the article:

Ew

I don't understand - if "everyone knows it" then why does this person also add that "you have to say it." If we already know it, no, you don't. But basically what the fuck kind of article is this?

Skate Canada gets an almost pornographic enjoyment out of detailing the extreme closeness of "platonic" (or former lovers) figure skaters in their partnerships.  First of all - since when is the sexual status of its figure skaters any business of a skating Fed let alone a component of its marketing? But Skate Canada wades right in with truly creepy enthusiasm, relishing every detail. We're told what's in the shared Weaver & Poje family breakfast tacos. We're informed about intimate marriage/sports counseling for platonic partners. Every five seconds Skate Canada sticks a thermometer up the rectum of some skating partnership and reports back with the blow-by-blow (not literally blow-by-blow, cause they're platonic, but you get what I'm going for here). And then they drop the chaser - they're PLATONIC.****
It keeps re-impressing me as a little off.
_________________________
*I know there's no excuse for that word and I also know why there's no excuse. That makes me a social anthropologist.

**Why do skaters get to pull the skater-ignorant card. What about the rest of us? "He's a figure skater - not a political scientist."  Do vets, students, cops, office managers, personal trainers, nurses, etc. get to go there? "I don't know what that wet shit falling from the sky is called - I'm a UPS driver, not a meteorologist!"

***He'd assumed it was a region of the country of Asia.

****I think all of Skate Canada's skaters in skating partnerships were required to be microchipped if they were on the Vancouver Olympic track. This microchip is programmed to de-platonic them the second one or the other declares the intention to retire after an upcoming competition.

How do they do that without Debbi there?*

Members of Team USA wish us a happy holiday season.

How do they do that?

I guess the US has advanced technology.




________________________________
*Or PJ, or Barb.

P.S. - I don't think this outreach will go over well - there's no dumb ass catch phrase like "Are you ready."

Who is paying for it? A question.

When I was cutting the video about Jessica, the Moirs and the night of the Olympic free dance, I began to wonder if the supposed sideshow - Skate Canada's involvement - isn't the main event.

Skate Canada is always good for snark, but I've given it more thought, particularly with the facebooks getting further restricted, including Barb MacDonald's. There are a number of reasons to restrict the facebooks - among them, not wanting outsiders to take a second look and see things for what they are, particularly not outside media checking things out.

But what if things are dirtier than that. What the fuck WAS Debbi Wilkes doing in the Kiss'n Cry personally overseeing a public scam, using Skate Canada resources (Debbie Mac and that other guy) - not to mention Wilkes allocating her own time and attention as Team Manager and Director of Public Relations? And appropriating the venue for it too? (The Kiss'nCry became a staging arena for public deception.)

Why is Barb MacDonald - whose job is corporate communications - jumping aboard "Jess Dube's" fb the first night it's set up?

No doubt other skating federations know or wink when their skaters are sanitizing or faking their private life, but do they openly serve up the beard, spend resources on it and market it? Is this a proper way for Debbi Wilkes to use the venue? Is it appropriate for Skatebug to make this sham/scam part of its commentary at an event as it did for Canadians in 2010?

I'd assume the Moirs/Virtues spend the money to ferry Jessica back and forth from Ilderton - but do they? What about the Dominican, which included Veronique Dube and Jonathan Dube? What about Jessica's pere and mere in Paris at TEB 2009 where the parents did a walkabout with Scott's parents and Jessica and Scott for the edification of Jessica and Alma's fans on their facebook albums? The Dubes do not have the $$ resources some other parents have.

What about Monaco? Somebody has to hotel and feed the girl and fly her home from there instead of Italy.

Indisputably, the Jessica arrangement is not handled privately; Skate Canada officials in their professional capacity help manage logistics and execution. That's if any of it can be considered private, since so many of Scott's immediate family are high profile members of Skate Canada.

That top level SC personnel devote on-the-job time and attention to this is without question. What about $?

Jessica being on the same competitive circuit as VM saves money because she generally has Canadians and SC in common with them, and has had TEB in the past - and then last November when Scott posted on Jessica's facebook wall: "Can't wait til next week... Je taime" he was referring to Mississauga, where he and Tessa turned out to have a book promotion appearance and did a signing at the Hershey Center where Jessica was competing singles. Debbi Wilkes interviewed them there for Skatebuzz and plugged their book.

Was this promotional appearance belatedly set up so it coinciding with Jessica's competition would be paid for by the publisher or Skate Canada? Seems like Nationals would have been a more logical place to push that book. But VM had no intention of showing for Nationals and they managed to get a two-fer done in a venue where it wouldn't normally take place.

It might be a challenge this year to get Jessica to Skate Canada, but there is a TBD pairs slot, and what are the odds everything will work out as she hopes, and the less-than-inspiring Dube/Wolfe lp at Quebec will be overlooked. This team was also able to commission a Marina Zoueva short program -  a nice value add for Jessica too.

Is this ongoing situation a legitimate expenditure? SC got something like 1.7 million in gov't funding this year. Should an organization receiving public monies be openly deceiving the public?

Skate Canada has lost sponsors, yet the people in charge of sponsor relations and development seem to enjoy being personally hands-on with this bedroom farce a whole lot more. It's not just improper, it's icky and unprofessional.

Maybe the rationale is that spending this kind of energy making Scott and Tessa comfortable keeps them competing and is good for Skate Canada's bottom line. Maybe someone should ask why Scott and Tessa need this to be comfortable and remind both they're now adults. But who's going to tell them? Nobody at Skate Canada knows what that means.

One of Skate Canada's many dodgy marketing premises has been that they need stars to fill arenas and get television ratings. Skate Canada tends not to re-examine their premises, or consider whether their ideas about creating and marketing stars actually work.

SC got the gold medal from VM but Patrick Chan had to take his own career to Colorado to get results; D&D came up disappointing. SC was unable to keep the Canadian National Champion dance team together (Crone & Poirier). Nor does SC appear to have a clue how to manage press releases or press conferences.

They have no women singles skaters to speak of. I think attendance and TV ratings remain down despite the braggings about rebranding and storytelling, and despite how self-aggrandizing these current officials have been at the expense of their predecessors.

I'm only asking $ questions, I don't know. But unquestionably Debbi Wilkes was using Federation resources - herself, the venue and the volunteers - to bullshit the fans about the private life of the Canadian gold medalists the night they won the gold medal, in the venue where they won it. If she'll do that, what else will they do?

Maybe they believe this was part of the care and management of athletes en route to Olympic gold, no different than sports psychology and informational seminars. I think that angle is specious, but okay.

Tessa and Scott won a year and a half ago.

After Worlds 2010 and Worlds 2011, Tessa and Scott hedged about continuing in the sport without identifying any of the factors that would determine whether they continued or retired. Is this arrangement with Jessica- facilitated by Skate Canada - one of their conditions for staying?

Before last season Michael Slipchuk said that without Own the Podium monies, "if it's a matter of $10,000" between Virtue and Moir staying or going, he didn't see why Skate Canada wouldn't find it. Considering the shows VM do, the high-end wardrobe sported by both Tessa and Scott on and off the ice, the travel, the lifestyle and Tessa owning multiple copies of skating dresses that cost thousands of dollars each - for WHAT and why would they be in need of a "mere" $10,000 as a condition of staying in training? It was a curious amount.

Is this an appropriate allocation of Skate Canada resources - not just money, but attention, planning and time?

One of "Jess Dube"'s First Ten Facebook Friends

Barb MacDonald, Skate Canada, Director, Corporate Communications April 2010 to present.

Barb came on board a year before BMO took its money and ran. Barb's appointment did not unseat Debbi Wilkes, but perhaps freed up Wilkes for more face time on camera.

Barb says she's based in Ontario and is "Responsible for Internal/External Communications, Media Relations and media operations for Canada's national governing body for figure skating."

Barb has been a "senior communications consultant" since 1996, with a focus on right-wingish Christian ministries and affiliated fundraising.

Her professional bio from facebook:

An Accredited Business Communicator through the International Association of Business Communications. I specialize in providing both strategic and hands-on communications advice and services for a wide range of clients in the sport, business, not-for-profit and ministry sectors. Also serving as venue media manager for major sports events, running the complete spectrum of services to allow journalists and photographers to see the event, gather information, and file stories and photographs on the event.

(I'm a bit "Eh?" about how Canadian figure skaters of different or no religious affiliation feel about a Director of Corporate Communications who leads with a fundie agenda (not politicizing - ask Barb - she's forthright about it)*. I wonder if corporations sharing Barb's affinities are the ones most inclined to sponsor figure skating. Oh well, I'm sure Skate Canada did its usual thorough research before bringing her in.)

 Late one evening, some months back, "Jessica Dube" restricted her original facebook and all of its albums, and that same evening opened a new facebook account called "Jess Dube". Barb MacDonald was immediately on the friends' short list. Very on-the-spot for such a busy woman. 

Now, people interpret Christian doctrine (alternatively - values) differently. But nowhere in the New Testament is an orchestrated, aggressive campaign of misrepresentation and outright lies condoned, not even when the intent is to guard your privacy while stimulating revenue. We know how much Jesus enthused over the virtues of raising money. Am I right? Is there an "improve thy bottom line" teaching in the New Testament? In the Old Testament are there Nostradamus-type dictates on how to act out a lie for the camera as long as the goal is not just a) redirecting the curious from your personal life, but - primarily - b) scamming the public because you aim to take their money?

I guess there's bonus value points when a strategy lets you have it both ways. How to reap the (perceived) advantage$ of accessibility while retaining the protections of privacy and secrecy?

Lying.

So you create a lie and cook up a proactive marketing scheme openly  instructing people to believe it while prying open their wallets.**

Does the Bible advocate a pattern of media interaction where you raise the topic of people who resist your lies, mock these hypothetical folk, patronize them, then piously empathize with their romantic delusions?

Okay, well, testaments old and new aside, let's consider that, even today, Jesus is said to speak personally through certain right-thinking people. Perhaps He's reassured the SC crowd in person and they've kept it to themselves. I'm gonna guess Jesus is all about situational ethics these days. It’s okay for GOOD people to do wrong things. And it feels like it would be a giant mess to backtrack now so may as well keep digging and save face. 

What genius looks like.

Lastly, what about style? Does Jesus/the Bible prefer the lie that is smart, quiet, tasteful, tactful, seamless, easy-going, adroit, smooth, with softly blurred edges and a steady, consistent message? Is that better than the lie that embarrasses everybody, debases somebody's core emotional integrity in every photo, is sordid on many levels, degrading, mortifying, trashy, creepy, mutually humiliating for subject and audience, sloppy, unsettling, weird, contradictory and grotesque  - while simultaneouly achieving a tone that's self-satisfied, arrogant, obnoxious and douchey? The Bible is mum on style matters, so I guess Skate Canada has been groping in the dark.

_________________________

*not mentioning the Jews or the gays (Donald Trump taught me to put the "the" in front of different cultures, ethnicities, religions and sexual orientations). Cause SC doesn't have no gays. When Alma Moir gave an interview some years back on how Kurt Browning had helped dispel the gay "myth" in figure skating, she cited Brian Boitano as her example of a figure skater who had, sadly, perpetuated skating's gay image. Now Brian Boitano a) has never come out, as far as I'm aware, and b) is American, but that was Alma's go-to example. Out the guy without a qualm, claim he hurt figure skating's image with the public, and tout Kurt Browning, who years later burned his home down with a leaf  blower.

These people.

** a/k/a  hubris (a sin).

Barb MacDonald didn't vacate One Way Ministries until some months after her appointment as Skate Canada's Director of Corporate Communications, and she began servicing Skate Canada long before her appointment to the Directorship.
http://1wayministries.org/

_______________________________

It's super creepy how SC corporate directors, whose core responsibilities are corporate marketing, sponsor relationship development -  and in Barb's case, some venue/media operational oversight -  are so freaking eager to be personally hands-on with their "stars." Isn't the above a task for a p.a. or PERSONAL (not corporate) PR rep? Debbie "Mac" can't escort VM?