April

And screwed you out of a gold medal in Sochi. But ok, hang Marina Zoueva out to dry instead. She controls the entire ISU. What could Dore have done to set up Sochi. Am crying over Dore's passing sort of the way I did when Anton Scalia died. (Yes, I've bought my ticket to hell myself for that.)

I hope Virtue and Moir locked things up solidly with Dr. Faust before announcing their comeback. Although you'd think they'd be tapped out of things to bargain with at this point.

I see where Charlie White already expressed awe over Papadakis Cizeron, so next season will be fun.

Good to see Volozozhar Trankov smiling
despite Worlds 2016. I still have
nightmares.

The Artist Known as Hanyu.
I get what he's doing, but in terms of packaging,
Method Skating doesn't do it for me.

He's a skating version of The Red Shoes.
Plot Summary _ The Red Shoes movie

I watched a couple of Skating Lesson interviews with David Wilson. For years, in my eyes, David Wilson was just the guy who got paid to "choreograph" the same program year after year for Dube Davison. Actually, I often wondered if his last Dube Davison paycheck was 2008's Blowers Daughter, and for the rest of DD's career Annie Barabie just picked different music to skate it to. And then I saw his choreography for Yuna Kim's shows, when she did shows, and thought - that sure beats working. Fly around the world and demonstrate to champion skaters how to point to the ceiling in between arm rolls. Subsequently, I've become more familiar with his body of work, and I understand strongly how versatile and musical he is. However, in his Skating Lesson conversation, he mentioned that when Yuna won Worlds in 2013, choreographed by her new training team (no Canadians) - her "face" was missing (IOW, she was deadpan, and not facially expressive).  I don't give a fuck if the face was missing. I hate the pretense that that should matter. If the damn face matters, put it in the rulebook. Otherwise, quit this shit.

Catching up with Jessica Dube:

There was a point after her stint on The Navigator of the Seas where it appeared Jessica had not been signed by another cruise ship, and was all set to work at a gym. Happily, Liberty of the Seas has secured her services, so she's off for another six months as pretty much the highest ranking figure skater ever on the cruise ship circuit - I think most of them never competed internationally, and the previously highest ranked skaters got on the podium once at Nationals.

Abandoned again.
My heart goes out to her disillusioned dog.
He's aged ten years - in people years.

After three fake girlfriends, finally a genuine love connection.

What they should have done from the beginning, and what they've been semi-flirting with since the arrival of Baby Moir V.3, is just be all goes without saying about it. Take the question out of the interviews, and that's it. Every single fan will go along. VM could have had it exactly their own way from day 1. They chose to troll. They chose to bait and switch. They chose to gaslight. Let's see how grown-up they are in 2016-2017.

First of two posts. The second post isn’t fully worked out, but I think is going to focus on last month's Angelika Krylova interview, with a particular emphasis on Meryl Davis’ superior talents in the realm of figure skating and ice dance, which Krylova had no problem whatsoever enumerating. I may also remark on Meryl Davis’s implied hot romance with Fedor Andreev, and how this doesn’t do her fans’ near-unquenchable need for validation any favors.

The just-concluded holiday season has been, for the blogger, about two weeks’ worth of holiday celebrations/busyness, and one week procrastination. I didn’t really want to know or think about if Virtue and Moir, a couple of mid/late twentysomethings, apparently retired ice-dancers, continued to feel the need to make a display of self-importance via shamming on social media during Christmas and New Year’s, so I avoided finding out. I also didn’t want to pollute the holidays with second-hand embarrassment, even though anybody following Virtue and Moir should be real comfortable with second-hand embarrassment by now.

Every day she's shoveling all right.

I don’t know what’s going to be sadder – when the latest crop of Virtue Moir fans, in, say, 2029, wonder if these two fortysomethings regret never having gotten it together, sharing fan fic about Tessa and Scott’s wistful conversations about what might have been, or Virtue and Moir still pretending to themselves, enabled by the sycophants who appear to surround every figure skater, that shamming is necessary.

Caveat, for what follows: this isn’t focused on skating women in social media to the exclusion of men. It’s just that in some respects, what I’m talking about next is kind of what a gossip columnist once said about the cast of Friends: as the show went on, the actresses on it got skinner and tanner, their hair got longer and straighter, and the dudes just got fatter and more slovenly. The particulars of Tessa’s social media image manipulations got me thinking along these lines.

When I look around at guys who were competing ten years ago, some of whom are now coaching, a number of them have gotten pretty comfortable wearing relaxed-fit pants and jackets. I look at women who were competing more recently, or are still competing, but have been at it a long time, and some of them, no matter how free-spirited they pretend to be, have become even more image-conscious.

So, speaking of second-hand embarrassment, Jessica Dube is now posing like this:

Skate Canada, Give Dylan Moscovitch the money Scott and Tessa Declined

Dylan Moscovitch back in the game



This is Dylan Moscovitch and his new partner Lubov Iliushechkina, who was at last released from Russia. Considering what partner switches often look like for the dumped partner - a sad, hot mess - my expectations weren't high.Then there was Skate Canada's attitude, which is really the point of this post. I've actually wondered from time to time if Skate Canada had encouraged Kirsten to dump Dylan, been a factor there, because, last we heard from Mike Slipchuk about Dylan and the whole Russian Fed/Lubov situation, it sounded like: "The entire topic puts me to sleep, but if you want a quote, I don't give a shit if they keep Lubov or let her go."

After learning Lubov had been released, I checked her out over the weekend and switched to "Geez, I hope Dylan's been keeping in form!" Today, I saw the above.Well, well, well.

I know Dylan's thirty, but the 2010 Olympic male pairs champion was 36. I think Dylan can hobble along til 2018.

I'm doing this post cause it's a Skate Canada thing. I'd like Skate Canada to announce that some of the money Scott and Tessa "are entitled to" but "declined", because they so generously wanted it to be available for other skaters, can be freed up for Dylan Moscovitch now that he's found himself such a terrific partner, and they look so promising together.

I know it doesn't work exactly that way, but since Skate Canada played it like it does work that way, encouraging all of us to be: "Oh thank you for giving up those funds you're not eligible for, Scott and Tessa", perhaps we can play along, and point out that Dylan Moscovitch has the exact same resume as Kirsten Moore Towers. Any Federation's high performance director can look at the embedded video above, and assess that Iliushechkina/Moscovitch have top 16 potential. I think Mike Slipchuk also has eyes.

Would also like to mention that a figure skater can be nominated retroactively for funding in the current AAP cycle. How about it Mike? AAP has rules and regulations, but a close reading does suggest that they're not exactly a police state when it comes to oversight, and also suggests that a retroactive carding nomination is well within bounds.

The IFS article talks about how Dylan's funding went AWOL while his skating future was in question, which I believe is how it works per Sport Canada/AAP policy. Maybe, though, it doesn't work per AAP policy, and it's as Skate Canada explained it with Scott and Tessa - the honor system. While his partner status was in flux, Dylan graciously "declined" the funding he was entitled to so that other skaters could benefit. An honorable group, these Skate Canadian skaters.

Now Dylan needs to scrape together some funding. He and his partner are also hopeful that they'll get an international assignment this season, late though it is, and though Skate Canada would have to get off its ass a bit. I don't know, Dylan.You and Lubov aren't bad, but you're no Jessica Dube/Sebastien Wolfe, whom Skate Canada threw opportunity at back in 2011.

Jessica and Sebastien when they were merely a promising new pairing.

Do you think Dylan Moscovitch and Lubov Iliushechkina up there could be international calibre? Do you suppose Mike Slipchuk will step up and shake some opportunity from the assignment schedule, as well as funds from the money tree? Why ever not? How about it Mike?

I await Mike's explanation that a couple of lower ranked bobsledders have already jumped on the money so recently set free by Virtue/Moir/Chan, never mind Skate Canada's press release said "so other skaters" could benefit, and far be it from him to interfere. He's like that, Mike. Sits on his hands a lot.

The Scott and Tessa mark

syn·er·gy

the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects

Synergy

As I was about to hit "publish" on this post, I remembered the P&G "Moms" commercial, the one where Alma Moir recalled what she told Scott and Tessa as they were coming up in ice dance: "You need to leave your Scott and Tessa mark."

This past week, I watched Life Itself, the new documentary about the late film critic, Roger Ebert, who died last year. Ebert's original partner, Gene Siskel, died in 1999. As a team, they'd become multi-media celebrities, often more well-known than the movies, directors and actors they reviewed. On top of their own program, they were regulars on talk shows and were interviewed by all the entertainment outlets and major publications. But, when Life Itself looked at Siskel & Ebert’s career, it kept striking me as amazing that as their fame and influence grew, they remained movie critics. They continued to honestly critically evaluate the movies instead of Tina Brown-ifying themselves. If Martin Scorcese made a crap film, they called it a crap film, despite their admiration for his other work, and even more despite Scorcese’s particular vulnerability to their opinion thanks to a time he'd felt boosted by them when he’d been at a low point in his life. They respected a lot of Rob Reiner’s work, too, which didn’t stop Roger Ebert from saying this about Reiner’s movie, North.

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

Imagine an era when somebody thought an audience could be insulted! Here’s the link:

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/north-1994             

He wasn’t just getting his hate on; he makes the case. Of course, it's also pretty funny.

Siskel & Ebert hobnobbed. Although both lived in Chicago, the job required they be in the thick of the show business scene. They were at the Oscars, the parties, in green rooms, at film festivals. They knew and regularly interacted with the people whose worked they critiqued. Despite this, if you were a movie-goer, you could rely upon Siskel & Ebert giving you their honest opinion about the merits and deficits of a film, without pandering. Jian Ghomeshi, they were not.

After watching Life Itself,  I found this from an interview they gave in 1998:

We have tried to move beyond the mainstream, and review foreign, documentary, independent and restored films, but audiences are more than ever driven by marketing campaigns. "Siskel & Ebert" is one of the few shows left on television in which opinions are even actually expressed; the vast majority of entertainment "coverage" consists of vampirism, in which media outlets attempt to borrow the fame of celebrities without expressing an opinion on the worth of their work. There is more coverage of a major movie BEFORE it has been seen than after. Example. I was recently asked to "write 600 words on Armageddon movies," and append my own list of the "top 10 Armageddon films," for a national magazine, as part of its coverage of the upcoming movie "Armageddon." This movie is unseen by me and probably by the magazine. I declined. Would they be interested in what I thought after I saw it? No, by then the hype will have moved on.

That was 15 years ago. Ebert called it Vampirism back then; today it's synergy. It’s about fame and self-promotion, for the journalists as much as for the subjects they cover. That’s it. Unlike with Siskel & Ebert, we, the public, don’t get anything out of it, certainly not enlightened discussion of the sport, definitely not any genuine insight into the skaters, not even into the skaters as athletes. The journalists are product, the athletes are product; we’re consumers, consumers are stooges, the end.

Although the Kaitlyn Lawes roll-out as Sham Girlfriend V.3 still appears to be in the early stages, upon review it mostly looks like a blatant attempt at a slicker level of execution, a semi-pro attempt at synergy. The curlers appear to want to enhance the profile of their sport, and when stars of "this" sport intersect with stars of "that" sport it's a good hook for instagram and twitter. That's the "Look how all grown up the sham has become!" part of it, but I think that’s only a piece of it. The other part is regular old sham. It's the curlers as burgeoning public personalities, or, as Tessa Virtue likes to put it, “personas.” It’s clear the curling team has launched a campaign to more widely disseminate and establish their public personas, and it stands to reason that, as individuals, they have varying levels of comfort with how real each wants to get with it. Should you want to get really really fake with it, Tessa and Scott are a natural, synergistic fit.

Jessica Dube and Scott came off as if they were personally branded by Debbie “I’m a genius!” Wilkes – that sham had a parochial, self-congratulatory vibe. Cassandra seemed like a straight up quid pro quo – Virtue and Moir were casting for a hometown girlfriend to appear in their reality show, Cassandra was an aspiring model/star wannabe who belonged to their London/Ilderton crowd, and ergo. Neither sham promoted skating, or did much else other than tell us Scott's penis had a female exercise partner, and it wasn't Tessa.

This sham seems to have agreed to promote curling, and the curling team (the newly sophisticated, synergistic part), and Kaitlyn must have her reasons to want a fake boyfriend, reasons which would be connected with how her own profile grows along with the widening profile of the curling team at large.

Were I Kaitlyn, I’d find a better candidate than a married father who has been aggressively hoaxing the Canadian public for seven plus years, but I’m sure I’m out of touch. This is the new normal. When I think about it, Virtue and Moir have lowered the bar, and clearly, their approach is making inroads. The likes of the Kardashians are so old school. The Kardashians actually are a family. Although a lot of people thought Anna Wintour trashed up Vogue when she put a woman famous for a sex tape on the cover, I think maybe one day we’ll be nostalgic that Kim Kardashian marketed a sex tape where at least it could be said she was actually having sex with that guy. As of now, the Kardashian level of authenticity is quite a few notches above Virtue and Moir’s, and I think pretty soon the Kardashian way of doing things will be obsolete. That's the Scott and Tessa mark.

Oops. Scott: "A big part of our - my life now and Tessa and I's career is to give ...."

Let's just overlook the grammar and be grateful the two are keeping up their friendship after Sochi. I bet him and Tessa will find themselves giving back in all kinds of ways.

Also, this:

new photos of Scott and Tessa

Beautiful "new" (to us) photos of Scott and Tessa by their official portraitist Myra Klarman, who, in her preview of this photo set, goes on quite a bit to tell us she has no idea what the future holds for these two, reminisces about the first time she was contacted to photograph them in 2008, and is a bit vague about something to do with not photographing real couples, but then shares a  link that apparently explains how her silly ideas were cleared up back then (didn't click on it but my guess it's to that odd New York Times article), and then says one reason she delayed publishing the latest photos was she didn't want her relationship to Scott and Tessa to end, nor did she want the relationship BETWEEN Scott and Tessa to end (although what bearing her photographing them or not would have on that last, I have no idea) ... all just as if Myra Klarman has never in her life taken a portrait of Infant, Baby, Toddler, or Little Moir. Why Klarman has decided to natter on in this vein this time when she's never stooped before is a mystery, but depressing.

Klarman says she took these photos in September.

For some reason this photo shoot didn't make the reality show. I thought those cameras followed them everywhere.

Look who's here

Note - for some reason the gifs of the 09 4CC turned out huge, too big for blogger, so I'm going to have to do them again later before they can be loaded onto the post. Also, while I was trying to load the huge gifs, "revert to draft" must have been hit on this entry, so it went off line until I noticed.
`

Bryce helps Jessica on BOTB

Not surprised. I thought they'd bring in Bryce at some point, because BOTB loves stuff like that. But he's there.

Also here:

Bryce spotting Jessica's lift

I wasn't sure it was him at first because a few other guys involved with BOTB are also semi-tall, dark-haired and can produce five o'clock shadow every six minutes, so they look similar when they're bundled up. But the first link comments confirm it's BD. (To me, the second link looks a lot like John Kerr until it goes close-up)

If the Jessica/Scott sham were still going on, I believe this would still be what we'd see in official media and social media linked to BOTB anyway. Bryce. Not Scott. That's how it's always been. Only in strictly "personal" social media (Skate Canada's twitter is so inept I count it as personal - it's not that professional) did they sham it up.

I wonder why it's not Sebastien Wolfe helping her with her lift. :P

I've read Dube/Savage had a successful opening night, so congrats to them, but in the video of Bryce pitching in on ice, Jessica's face looks as nauseated with terror as it did most of the time when she was getting up there via Wolfe.

I had wondered how Jessica was going to navigate the aspects of the BOTB experience that didn't look like a natural fit, but if Bryce is helping out, problem solved.

The Sports Gene - a/k/a logical fallacies in the Davis White narrative

Charlie White retweeted the above, which links to this:

Root of Athletic Success - NY Times Review

I haven't read the book that's reviewed, but reading the review Charlie linked, it focuses on athletes who may not be the most naturally talented, but compensate by putting in the work. Or, as Tanith Belbin would say, "puttin in the work." Even after "Everyone else gone home."

If you're not gifted compared to, say, your nearest rivals, but you put in Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours (Gladwell postulates this is the magical number for true mastery of a skill), you may end up the winner.

It appears to me that the usual DW narrative presents them as gosh darn hardworking ice dancers.

But that's kind of like Gilles/Poirier presenting themselves as skaters with "personality". Implicit in that label is other skaters lack personality. Because Gilles/Poirier claim personality as their signature, they must  have the MOST personality. That's simply not true of Gilles/Poirier.

Likewise, in the narrative of Davis/White as hard-working athletes who leave it all on the ice, there's the implication that they work the hardest. Just as because their apparent distinguishing characteristics as skaters is that they're fast and powerful, the implication is that they're the MOST fast and powerful.

But they're not. And they're not the hardest working.

What if the naturally talented athletes/rivals work as hard - or harder - as the less gifted athletes/dancers? What if they also are "puttin in the time."? What if, in fact, they thrive on discipline, on challenge, on setting impossible goals and meeting or exceeding them? What if they're so gifted they do this every season, versus doing the kind of hard work that involves repetition of the same stuff you already know?

It appears to me that the US media narrative, and DW's narrative, is that Davis and White are the hardest working, and, through hard work, they've defeated - who? Beautiful dilettantes? Scott and Tessa who just roll out of bed and float through their practice on the strength of natural ability? Scott and Tessa who, like, say, Jessica Dube, never try new things? A lazy Scott and Tessa who "take a break" in the 4CC's fd and still expect to win (the reaction to that event was a red flag in SO many ways. SO many asses showing.)?

Scott and Tessa put in the hours AND take on riskier programs, elements, choreography. Davis and White put in the hours so that they can maintain their delivery of, essentially, a five year old program. Scott and Tessa have improved their speed and power to where even a casual observer can tell they're faster and more powerful than Davis and White - obviously so, all the while executing programs that are increasingly challenging both choreographically and athletically, with skating skills that any idiot can tell are superior to Davis and White's.

Did Scott and Tessa accomplish this over brunch in London?

Scott showed yet another improvement this season - his topline. How did that happen? At fashion shows? He didn't spend hours on the ice with the posture bar? Not for nothing, his topline looks natural, not like something he's thinking about or reminding himself to maintain. There's nothing stiff in it. His skating is as natural and spontaneous as it's always been. What kind of hours does it take to make something unnatural into something natural? What kind of hours PLUS talent for movement does it take? Is talent a dirty word now? Does it imply short cuts, coasting etc? Is talent supposed to be fair? Are we, as a teacher from Scott's old middle school, in an excess of Olympic zeal, once said, ALL supposed to be capable of Olympic gold if we work hard?

What happens when the less talented, but plucky supposed underdog works their ass off vis a vis a far more talented athlete that is working every bit as hard and, on top of that, working smarter? A lesser product plus hard work is more deserving than a superior product plus hard work? Is that the narrative for Davis White and Sochi gold?

I certainly hope they don't hammer down on that theme this year, because every time they do, the implication is Virtue Moir don't work as hard. And they know better. Virtue Moir submit themselves to types of training that DW shun, for example. Neither Davis nor White really wants to spend the time on ballet, which might at least improve their unison and alignment. Scott Moir doesn't strike me as somebody who would embrace ballet given his druthers, but his figure skating career is more important to him than his personal preferences, and he submits to training in that as well as training in myriad other ways that develop his skating. Is it unfair that when Scott applies himself to something like ballet, that he gets results, whereas when Charlie White tries ballet, it doesn't do much for him? Does that say something about ballet or does it say something about Charlie (and Meryl's) abilities?

This may be a season where the narrative is that talent is an unfair advantage.

Still Crazy After all These Years

Until the new Cassandra sham elements surface, the blog will mostly stick to DW versus VM til after worlds, but I did want to pause for this post:

I went through the fsu posts from those purporting to see the blog for the first time - and it seemed obvious some were seeing it for the first time and OMG.

The blog is fucking crazy! There's a run on brain bleach, there's people confronted with the limits around which their minds can stretch (not around the topic, but that there exists a person (me, the blogger) so deranged they could make all this up) there's faulty reading comprehension and there's logical fallacies but apart from that it's near unanimous that the blog is, among blogs, a freak. There is, of course, one or two 'there ought to be a law' sorts, but mostly it's get the butterfly net.

And what makes it a freak?

The premise. That Scott and Tessa have been together long since prior to the onset of his sham relationship with Jessica. That they got married in 2009 before the Olympics and yet afterwards, with Tessa pregnant, appeared in different markets touting how very platonic they are. That in every interview they were faking it.

That Scott paraded himself with Jessica and now with Cassandra, that they spoke explicitly to countless media and entertainment outlets that they weren't together and were completely platonic. That Skate Canada was a big participant, that the sainted Ilderton Ontario extols its love and gratitude for Canadian fans out of one side of their mouth while mocking them and ripping them off with the other, and that their practice is to say the exact opposite of whatever is true, and they've got a lot of familiar figure skating faces, family and friends, helping them, while marketing how home grown and unassuming everything is.

And a whole bunch of other stuff that still continues today, and we'll see plenty more of it as it comes to the fore again very soon.

That shit is fucking crazy.

So, in case the blog hasn't said so before - I agree. This shit is fucking batshit crazy. It's certifiable.

Yes it is. Fuck yeah "OMG". "OMFG" in fact.

And it's also true.

That doesn't make it any less crazy but here I am, carrying the label of a nutjob in some quarters all because Scott and Tessa lost their minds with this beyond any mind losing of any celebrity or demi celebrity in the history of celebrity. An epic clusterfuck of imbecility and arrogance.

They're the crazy ones, but they get to front as sane, as victims of a nutty blogger!

Is that fair?

I always thought I had a pretty good grasp of basic law concepts. For example, when starting this blog, I looked over the google blogger TOS very thoroughly, and also checked out a whole bunch of blogs outside the 'pantywaist'* figure skating universe and found plenty of blogs that make this one look circumspect.  I understood, as some people around the web do not, that there's no "figure skating" blog category in which figure skaters and their fans must be treated with kid gloves due to tradition and their conservative sensibilities.

But still, some of the legal talk has made me curious. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I can file a lawsuit under the blogger name (a la a 'John Doe' action) complaining that the name of oycanada has been defamed because the subjects of oc's blog are lying their asses off, being licentious nutjobs, hoax perpetrators and scam artists, and thus making oc appear to be the crazy one.

There ought to be a law. Isn't there one? Can't I obtain a restraining order stopping Tessa and Scott from shamming because it's damaging the blog's reputation and the blogger's name  - that if they must continue, they have to admit they are doing it, reimburse everyone who wants a refund from the book, and acknowledge that the blog's premise isn't crazy, but fact?

After all they reached out to US (to me, as it were. A fan).  In the 'who started it' category they lose. 

I think it's downright patriotic in both the US and Canada to resist being made a fool of by a bunch of lunatics, to push back against a large scale attempt to set people up, lead them on so as to play them for fools, use them as stooges and manipulate them for personal advantage. The blog began because this was what Scott and Tessa were doing.

It was practically a David and Goliath scenario!

The poor blog's everything from fundamental sanity to eyesight (no way Tessa could have been pregnant!) has been challenged based on only one thing - that anyone who writes what the blog writes and believes it to be true, must need to be committed.

But it is true. 

I feel like there must be some sort of motion, order or procedural process that can be legally pursued to compel the subjects of this blog to publicly set down the relevant facts about Scott and Tessa, so the judgment of crazy can at least be made on valid grounds.  As it is, the blog is being defamed simply because Scott and Tessa get to maintain their lies.

Maybe I'll pm some of the legal experts that are rife among the figure skating message boards.

_________________
*Downton Abbey era term for pearl-clutching, easily offended wimpiness.

Who do they think they are?

That's a real question, not rhetorical.

Their friends, along with the members of the media as fascinated with them as many fans have been, along with their families, declare that Tessa/Scott are great people. Part of it is Virtue Moir's talent, and their willingness to challenge that talent. Partly it's they're gracious and unentitled in person. Some of it is just good showing - poised, patient, always with the game face.

For example, there's the family friend who posted on her facebook that Scott and Tessa are "such good kids and always will be - what you see is what you get" despite the fact that she's a sham contributor and has helped them lie. ("You two are the best couple on earth!" is an example of her captioned enthusiasms under facebook sham spam). But when she says things like "What you see is what you get" - she believes it.

I think it goes to a parochial mindset cut through with immaturity. It's the entitlement and complacency that comes from "We're right because of who we are, not what we do." They're undisciplined, and unwilling to think critically or challenge assumptions they hold about themselves.

Who are the targets of the sham right now? The media? Most of those who interview them know they're together.

It's the public? Just the Canadian public? Is it the fans in front of whom they frequently don't even pretend they're not together?

What about those "dedicated" (™ Scott Moir) skating ladies?

Or the crazies that EVERYBODY in the public eye has?

The internet? Who gives a fuck about under a hundred people on the internet - so much that you  market a years-long program of ridiculous and insulting lies? That's not a problem - that's a nuisance. Stop thinking about it and it's not even a nuisance.

It's all Tessa and Scott self-indulgence and ego. They were anticipating revealing their status long before now, but when they realized they could get away with the pregnancy they decided why not continue to Sochi.

What they do now isn't necessary. It's not important to their mental health, to sustaining their personal life, to protect anything. They do it because they can. If you can treat a group of people you don't respect without respect and get away with it, why not do it? That's them.

If they had revealed their status, there would be no significant fallout. The media ignores what Tessa and Scott want ignored, emphasizing only what Tessa and Scott want emphasized. How often has a media package referred to their dramatic withdrawal at the 4CCs, for example? About never, I believe. That served its purpose and now it's like it never happened. The media would likewise ignore the lies in the book, the lies in their interviews, the anecdotal fables, the gratuitous embellishments and gaslighting.

When has anyone ever decided to notice that Tessa and Scott were in public together during the time they claim to have been completely out of touch, that they appeared on television for an interview, that a close associate of theirs, while commentating at Canadians, told us that both Tessa and Scott were away during her recovery, not just Tessa, because Scott was with her? Again, never.

There would be no can of worms. Fans would know their status, that's all.

It's power. They don't want fans to officially know (unofficially is fine) because Tessa and Scott want to hold onto the power they have to manipulate in petty ways and in what they once may have imagined are important ways.

There are no more important ways. There's no "the power to protect our privacy." Scott's own confused and inane explanations about getting side-eyed from fans (which doesn't bother him) while at the same time, keeping hands-in-pockets so as not to - what? Bump into somebody who also recognizes him but now he has to receive direct eye contact or suffer a greeting? - matched with their habit of baiting and stirring the pot, along with their correct insistence that they can go under the radar whenever - their privacy doesn't hinge on pretending to be platonic on social media. Their control of legit media has never depended on it either. The coy come ons and games they play show that's nonsense.

There's just pathetic and petty left. They like being one up, knowing something the fans don't, pulling fans' strings, reading how wrong fans are about everything, thanks to the lies they push on the fans, thanks to stringing fans along and setting them up to be wrong.*

How can you be convinced Tessa/Scott are wonderful people unless you believe the skating public are nobodies who don't count?

Social media happens mostly outside legit media, certainly broadcast media, so Scott and Tessa can treat fans with their characteristic mean spiritedness without it being held against them. Legit media prefers to ignore it because legit media is generally not a fan of social media either. Legit media prefers to control the narrative, and social media challenges that.

Virtue Moir go out of their way to remind fans of their pariah status. They could throw up a photo on www.virtuemoir.com, especially after Scott directed fans there once he left his fan facebook. It's not neglect. They do things like direct fans there and then ignore it on purpose. They don't want fans. They don't like fans.

(ETA - they've now changed the photo on www.virtuemoir.com, and lo, is it a new photo like the first two? Of course not. That would be sharing something. It's two stills from a gala performance everybody's seen from every possible angle already. It's Scott's fan facebook all over again.)

Some people have blamed the blog. Oh the blog has harrassed them.

Yes, because they never lied to fans before the blog. And because an ice dance team that wasn't together would let their buttons be pushed by some insane blog claiming they were. The only reason they let themselves react to the blog is they're together and married, have a child, and they're lying.

So let's say they're pissed because how dare some nobody (which is everyone who isn't them, someone they know, or someone of high status) call them out? So what you do is continue to treat countless well-intentioned people like garbage because you think it helps you score points against an anonymous blog.

If it wasn't the blog, they'd find another reason to piss on fans, believe me. They will always find an excuse.

It also makes Scott's friends feel important. So there's that. We all like to feel important by screwing with anonymous nobodies, or with people stupid enough to take us at our word.

Maybe Scott and Tessa are in the category of neurotic insecure people who aren't comfortable unless there's people they can look down on, and in the skating world and among family and friends, they're in a top dog position where this egocentricity is indulged. Maybe having extraordinary talent has made them believe they're extraordinary PEOPLE, superior to common people who have to pay for tickets to skating competitions, who can't skate the way Tessa and Scott can.

I think there's one category of people that don't excuse and rationalize Scott and Tessa, and that category is figure skaters. Figure skaters with more natural humanity and empathy than Scott and Tessa, skaters who don't resent it when they have to breathe the air others breathe. Skaters who are flattered when fans put together a video or some other shout out because these figure skaters are grateful there are people "out there" who notice and appreciate the work they put in. Figure skaters who see Scott and Tessa actively working to alienate a public other skaters would kill to have and don't say anything in public ... right now.

Scott and Tessa don't need the public. They don't care about post-eligible blowback. They're set. The judges will give them the points. They'll have money whether they suck up to the public or not - they're not financially insecure. Since they don't need fans, why bother treating fans with common decency? One of the axioms of good business is to allocate resources where it will generate the best return, and public good will isn't something Scott and Tessa give a shit about.

There's no incentive for them to be decent, so they're not. I know it's noticed by fellow skaters who'd make different choices even if they found themselves in Scott and Tessa's impossible-to-understand, unique position. You know what it is? Disappointing that they haven't the courage in their public life that they have on the ice, and it's fans who get the fallout from that.
______________________
*Callback to Scott saying anyone who thinks Tessa is too sweet and innocent for Carmen doesn't know her at all.

Isn't that what you both want, Scott? Nobody to know either of you at all, not even the basics about your marital status? How can you say something like that, when if people don't know Tessa it's because of her decisions and yours? You're the one whose used "sweet" as the go-to adjective for years whenever you were asked to describe her. Just because this year the promo spin for Carmen is different doesn't mean it makes sense to scoff at people who think of Tessa as sweet, mostly thanks to everything you've said.

Smiles

It's weird how these are exactly like the last year of Jessica/Scott photos. Face the camera in a public event or at some party/gathering with lots of people, smile and call it a day, minimize the body contact.

Giving Cassandra credit, she doesn't have that needy look in her eyes when she looks at the camera lens, so the ick factor goes way down. The connection factor is still as nil as ever. They don't even sit like they know each other - she could be a fan or friend of a friend.

Scott throws his arm around the shoulders of fans but with fake girlfriends, especially in photos of recent vintage, he's all eh and tentative.

And after posing with a couple of guys:



Wow Tessa, you go out without Mommy?

Tessa snuggles next to a girlfiend while horizontal to send the countermessage that the photos with the guys are OBVIOUSLY platonic because she's cozier with a freaking girl than with them. Who knew Tessa had friends? The way she portrays herself, she skates and studies and hangs with her mom. Has she ever described friends?

This all seems like it should get a Level 2, GOES - 3 for future-hindsight image messaging.

Present day message: Scott and Tessa have significant others off ice! Look!

Future hindsight message: nothing ever happened or went on with any of these fakes. Look, a photo with Cassandra from the time he was supposedly dating Jessica! Look, all of these photos are exactly like regular fan photos! Look, Tessa and her parents and Scott and his parents are all in collusion with it, there were no triangles and nobody was cheating on anybody!

What about protecting yourselves from the future hindsight of people looking at these and realizing just exactly how ridiculously arrogant and self-obsessed you were? How you couldn't stand it when the fans calmed down about your status, so you kept trying to stir the pot? How a blog about the lies you guys tell that was at first a pain in the ass became a last resort showcase for getting attention?

The fact that their kid is completely edited out of their official story for the Sochi Olympics and that they will never see a shout out from the Kiss'N'Cry or their name mentioned in any of the articles to show THEIR kids - who cares. Family scrapbooks are cool enough!

The hardest thing to explain to people about Tessa/Scott's sham? The stupid. People follow along to a certain point and then they get that rotten fish smell expression where it's not even outrageous enough to be funny or - outrageous. It's just - who do these people think they are? What's wrong with them?

Call Capurnicus - he was wrong. The sun revolves around Scott and Tessa.

Cannot WAIT for Canadians to hear that announcer announce at the gala that Tessa and Scott are all that role models should be.

Oh well, let's look at the upside. Since Tessa is now perfectly willing to show herself on the web in a bikini, to pose with buddies on a boat, surely she won't nix the facebook or internet publication of a photo that would show her at the Moirs, or at a party, or with Scott somewhere anymore. She must be growing up. That's a good move for a mom.

Isn't it amazing though, all these off-ice photos of Tessa in one rush, and this is her intimate, private life! But with her professional, platonic partner, she still behaves as if a camera lens will dissolve her. She's the one who says they golf, drive places together, work out together, "are always together" so why does the photo spam try to show them having totally separate social lives?

Yes, let's have more of them. More outing American figure skaters while protecting
 your own (or what you think is protecting), more mocking fans and setting them up for sport,
more double standards depending upon whose skater from what country has won or lost, 
and more bragging on how much more wonderful you are than other people while
lying your faces off. Let's have Moir of that.

If Scott/Jessica were, for those who bought it, a WTF, every time Bryce speaks, the awareness that he was with Jessica personally as well as professionally reasserts that love is one of life's biggest mysteries. Bryce is driven, analytical, reflective, straightforward, insightful and generous. I miss his skating.

In this interview he is retired, but there's a feeling he could unretire, or at least that maybe in his heart he hasn't put to rest the possibility. If he never competes again, I'd kill to see him on BOTB and that show better get it done. I bet he'd win.

My points of note from this interview. One, he says he wishes he'd gotten into coaching sooner because it would have helped his skating/competing. Coaching helps you see elements technically, puts your focus on the mechanics and not just on performance.

I don't know what tricks Bryce's memory is playing on him but I recall from numerous media quotes that he always deconstructed the mechanics of his and Jessica's skating, always focused on both components of his job - the technical and the performance. He didn't need experience as a coach for that. It was easy to see that Bryce kept himself ferociously fit, that he'd applied himself to his double axel to keep his left hip under control when landing, and that, as David Pelletier said, even though Bryce was more slightly built than many pairs guys, his lifting technique was flawless and secure. You know he was always as aware of what was going on with the nuances of Jessica's balance and stability as much as his own job, that he was sensitive to how well she was doing hers and compensated when needed. You can see the difference in her face today when she's lifted by Sebastien Wolfe. Bryce had said he's not the biggest guy out there but he uses every bit, and we could see that too.

Hindsight is futile because it wouldn't have changed anything. He wasn't the person who would have benefitted from dispassionate focus on technique. That was Jessica. I remember when she was splatting her salchow in the Olympic season, Bryce deconstructed the mechanics in the media and explained what needed adjusting. It seemed pretty basic for someone like Jessica, who'd been doing the jump for years. Not that it helped. Maybe he really feels if he'd had experience coaching, he'd have been able to help her focus on that stuff.

I just hope he doesn't mean he could have improved his own work. I think he pushed himself as far as he could push HIMSELF. As driven as he is, to literally skate for two is impossible. To push the team further, he needed more cooperation from Jessica.

The second point of interest for me is Bryce refers to the intense financial pressures/stress of a skating career. Bryce comes from a skating family. The Davisons appear to be reasonably comfortable - they have a place in Muskoka where Jessica and her family were guests of the Davisons (the Davison place in Muskoka has had a bunch of skater guests, obviously). But still, finances were a challenge.

There's an annual Jessica Dube golf fundraiser in Drummondville to help defray the cost of her skating. Jessica has worn that red strapless skating costume into the ground - costumes are expensive. She and Bryce had some local sponsors; don't know what she has now. She comes from fairly modest circumstances, perhaps more modest than the Davisons, and even taking into account the combined resources of both families during D&D's career, the financial pressure was there.

Hard to reconcile these realities with the fact that in 2009 the three Dube siblings were able to muster up the money for a 4 star Dominican resort vacation getaway fitting in with Jessica's training break, splashing out for $89-$100 additional excursion fees like ziplining and catamaran trips. Even though the DR is cost-effective for Canadians (there's an invisible pipeline in the air from Canada to DR, no lie, don't even need passports, I believe), it was still interesting how room remained in their budget for vacations with their own friends (Jessica's brother vacationed in the sort of set-up where a bunch of guys bunk in per room in the resort).

Hard to reconcile Jessica's parents being in Paris in 2009 for TEB (an expensive time of year to travel to Paris) then returning to France (Nice) in 2012, and Monte Carlo and Monaco. That money could defray a lot of skating expenses.

Maybe I'm overlooking something but there were no reports of the Davisons at TEB 2009, and I don't think they routinely traveled to see Bryce compete overseas. Hell, neither family was in Colorado when Jessica's face was slashed, but Kate Virtue was, and she was the one who was on the phone to the Davisons to pass the developments to the Dubes. If Jessica needs fundraisers to offset her skating expenses, where did the funds to fly three people to the Dominican, two people to Paris (plus hotel and meals) and at least three people to Nice come from?

Shame versus Sex

I've defined for myself why the Scott/Jessica sham made many fans gag. Although the photos purported to show private moments, the atmosphere and wardrobe styling were full on walk of shame.

The walk of shame refers to a situation in which a person must walk past strangers or peers alone for an embarrassing reason before reaching a place of privacy.
    wikipedia

Scott's sham experience in a nutshell.

Scott and Jessica often were in a place of privacy while simultaneously under the gaze of all of us strangers. It was difficult to process this apparently shame-based (public) yet private (but not private) experience and know why, if it was so icky for everyone, they insisted on parading private stuff for us.

Scott sported the general mien worn by John Meyer when Meyer had to take Jessica Simpson out:

John Meyer and Jessica Simpson

Scott Moir and Jessica Dube

Meyer was obliged because he was banging Simpson. As a celebrity and media ho, she needs to show she's wanted, and backdoor stuff isn't going to fly with her, not if the guy wants to keep his privileges.

Scott didn't HAVE to "let" "Jessica" constantly parade who he was fucking if he was so mortified, so since he obviously was mortified, why did he? That's why all the Meyer-like theories sprang up.

Sham, Inc. imagined it was delivering something along these lines:

Plausible, innocuous placeholder.

But it was this:

"I felt suffocated, miserable and gross.
I should never have gone down that route."
Ben Affleck

We could tell, Ben.

If what you're doing makes you feel as Scott felt when with Jessica:

I love my girlfriend so much I can't look at her.
("Dad - wtf?"
Scott: Go ask your mother.)

or sitting next to the woman he loves, lying about who they are to each other:

 Not humiliating at all.

You shouldn't be doing it. Nobody should push you to do it, and if you're pushed, no matter how  you love them - no.* All different kinds of integrity took a beating in this mess - the relationship of a partially publicly supported institution and the public is one; Scott's core self, his instincts and values as a man is another. It's not really trivial, even if the latter isn't particularly anyone's business. Still, it was in our face. How could we not notice. It sucked.

The people who love you shouldn't convince you squelch every instinct you own when those instincts have been dead on in the rest of your life. The person you're protecting should figure if you're able to protect what needs protecting in other areas of your shared lives, you're capable of protecting your combined privacy without becoming the face of a desperate-looking and humiliating years-long charade. As fantastic as their professional and private lives have been, that all this is on the record is heartbreaking because it wasn't necessary. It's 100% on them. It's hard to imagine a human being less suited for a sham relationship than Scott Moir, even before you start thinking Jessica Dube is a good idea for him. So naturally, Skate Canada thought it was fab and they glowed with self-congratulation.

While it's not really blog-topic oriented as far as the sham goes (if not as far as how many people who love and know them view Scott) I don't think it's any secret that a lot of people feel this wouldn't be Scott's chosen way of managing things, but he was outgunned. He's the youngest child in his family, the most tempermental, the moodiest, the most hotheaded, the one David Pelletier said should stay quiet and let Tessa do the talking (yes, bot-speak is always better, David), the supposed eternal child, the most aggressive and for sure, the most impatient. Surely all of that should be squashed and he should be squeezed into an ill-fitting sham suit for five years because cooler, wiser heads prevailed. Let the smart, sophisticated people be in charge:

Have everyone you know comment how happy all this looks. Let's have it last forever!

Actually I'm still confused about why, if they actually wanted people to buy the sham, some of these photos were posted. As well as wondering what marketing theory advises that when something is unconvincing, the best defense is overkill.

In public public, Scott was an intense, hyper, goofy, charming guy with a habit of evasion when it came to his romantic life, a guy who clearly had at least a major crush on his gorgeous, charming, talented, intelligent partner and who treated her with undisguised adoration. On facebook it was so bad that even the biggest proponents of the sham couldn't pretend it looked good. They had to make up personal experience of having been in Scott and Jessica's company where, seen in 3D, they were cute, sweet and adorable. It just wasn't photogenic.

I don't think Scott was or is a victim - he's a lucky guy with major wonderful things in his life and was an adult when he agreed to this, and he's a full on grown-up and then some now, and still agreeing. However, I don't believe anyone on the planet, including those around Scott and Tessa but not hands on in the sham, believe he's  the one who put on the breaks about coming clean, who shut every window of opportunity each time one opened. The wise heads, the adults, the parents, in Tessa's life and Scott's life apparently all agreed this was a great idea. Skate Canada is a big fan and driving force. The number of people it took to agree, cooperate and engineer this thing is disturbing when you look at the ratio of adult involvement to level of weird and degree of insanity and how Scott and Tessa enable it due to lack of God knows what - looks like lack of courage to me.
___________________________
*I wonder if there was ever something like: "You don't have to do it - I will if you're too uncomfortable." Considering the size of the posse - Moirs and Virtues AND Scott - when Tessa shammed with Ryan Semple, I'd guess for Scott that alternative would be easier on us, tougher on him. Such a shame there were no third options.

Canadians

First of all, congratulations to Director of Business Development (formerly director of Marketing and Public Relations) Debbi Wilkes for her sterling performance at Canada's National Figure Skating Championships. Debbi and her team fell just short of half-filling a venue the size of my grandmother's high school auditorium.* Kudos Debbi. Looking forward to all of your interviews on Skatebuzz. You've earned the spotlight girl.

Second:

WTF was that?

They fixed what wasn't broken, and the rest of it - don't get it.

Third: Jessica! Congrats on bravely soldiering through your sudden onset single-itis to second place in the short - even executing a split TRIPLE twist! I thought I was watching Xue Shen out there. Could Rod Black have leaned any harder emphasizing how much HARD WORK and long hours it takes to perform like that? I smell some motivational speaking engagements for you, Jessica.

Fourth, Tracy Wilson said the Dube/Wolfe short was choreographed by David Wilson.

David Wilson

When Dube/Wolfe were doing Liberty and Quebec P.J. Kwong was happy to inform us their short program was by Marina Zoueva. Come Canadians, it's good old David Wilson. The name of their sp choreographer changes almost as often as Debbi Wilkes' director's titles.** What's the problem? Canadians too mainstream for a sham shout out? Somebody thought people might wonder who paid for Marina?

Also Rod Black asked us to imagine you're Sebastien Wolfe, and one day you get a call that a World medalist - a champion (put it together like that sort of implied World Champion) needs a partner.

This stuff is just pulled out of people's hind ends, isn't it? There is just no relationship whatsoever to who, how, where, when or the facts. And this is the media some fans think would be on the case if they really knew Scott and Tessa were lying about their relationship status. 

Just read this Tessa quote about the short dance:

We're testing it out, we're feeling it and seeing how we feel competing with the changes, and getting some feedback from judges," Virtue said. "We're anxious to prove ourselves, and to prove that the changes we made were good, but we have to know that they are and trust our process and go out there and have a fresh start (Saturday) with a program that we love.

Can't get inside her head but that's not a Stepford quote, that feels real and syncs up with how they looked yesterday.

Finally, Melanie Hoyt reports she keeps running into people at the venue who don't know who Virtue/Moir are. So the two years of post-Vancouver Scott/Tessa promotion brilliantly orchestrated by Skate Canada is reaping big dividends in-country, that's for sure. It's not a surprise - you'd have to be amazingly incompetent to blow it with Virtue Moir and Thompson, Slipchuk & Wilkes have been sensational failures.

Ironically, prior to the Vancouver Olympics one of their favorite interview gambits was to explain to us all their superior insight about figure skating promotion in Canada, the proper way to do it and grow skating's popularity, how it needed to be presented to the public, and they let us know that this was something they thoroughly understood how to do that their well-intentioned predecessors did not.

They are unbelieveable charletons. Turns out their priority is promoting themselves - none more relentlessly than Wilkes & Thompson although Barb McDonald is as opportunistic as they come. She and Wilkes see Skate Canada as their personal promotion platform. Ask not what you can do for Skate Canada, ask what Skate Canada can do to raise your profile and create your brand. That's all that's getting done effectively in the marketing, public relations and business development departments.
_____________________________
 *I bet they get a full house in China.

**Who is Director of Marketing & Public Relations now that Wilkes is Director of Business Development. Wonder what job they'll pretend she's doing next season.

Tendonitis

P.J. Kwong reports Jessica Dube has withdrawn from ladies singles at Canadians due to sudden onset tendonitis in her toe-pick leg.

I will miss Jessica's non-tendonitis jump technique in singles.

Well that's a shame.

Any moment now, I suppose she'll withdraw from the pairs competition too, since you need that toe pick for the split twist.

No? She's gonna gut it out? What a trooper.

I have to confess, when Jessica withdrew from singles, and since she spent most of her last singles competition on her ass, I thought - well, of course. She's not really training her singles skating, she was just saving face since she swore she split from Bryce due to her renewed "spark" for singles skating. And now she's over it. She had pretended it was singles skating prompting her decision - that she had no idea she'd soon have Sebastien in the bag. She certainly couldn't be all "screw singles" right away once she had a new partner. That would make her look all manipulative and stuff. She had to keep up her singles for a bit, just for form's sake. So when she withdrew from Canadians I was like - yeah, she's done.

How bad do I feel now? I had no idea a reason would actually be produced, that reason being singles skating situational tendonitis. It's kind of like the jump flu virus she suddenly came down with last year the day of her Canadians singles lp. Remember that? Her eyes were clear, her skin tone was normal, she spun like a top, spirals were smooth and steady, footwork decent and she sourpussed like a pro. But when it came to the lutz, salchow, flip - jump flu.

Here's her chance to make up for it and darn the luck - she's hit with singles foot. When she toes in for a lutz or flip in her singles program - ouch, ouch OUCH!!! When she toes in for her split double twist in pairs, everything's fine. Well, except for her being a 24 year old world bronze medalist backsliding to a double twist.

Although fans of her singles skating will be disappointed, at least her case of singles foot will not be a roadblock when she climbs the podium to receive her bronze medal in pairs.

What date and time did this "book signing" take place?

I'm backdating and sliding this in behind the more recent posts.

Here is Debbi explaining that she's in line to get Scott and Tessa's new book. Signed. That's how she says it. Each word its own sentence because, you know, we need help. Words is hard. So, yet another screen cap from Debbi's infamous tete a tete with Scott and Tessa at the Hershey Centre during Western Challenge, Dec. 2010.



Michael Scott of The Office waiting to get Scott and Tessa's new book. Signed.

So Debbi stands in line along with the camera that lives with her, because you know, she's not there for a pre-arranged interview. She's in line and the camera just happened to be there when it was her turn to approach the table. After telling Scott and Tessa what to write when they sign it, she wields the large microphone she has with her at all times and begins to chat with them.

The book signing above, we're told, is the concourse of the Hershey Center, and while in line Debbi shares that a big event is happening - almost as big as what's happening on ice in the arena. Scott and Tessa are signing. Very exciting says Debbi.

Yep. You can see the fans tripping over themselves up above - one in volunteer blue, another dude carrying volunteer blue, and a lady in the back looking at something she's holding. And Debs. All that's missing is a scrum. Falling down on the job, Barb?

A bunch of fans attended Western Challenge - one or two saw Scott in the corridor. What I want to know is when did this signing happen. Fans in attendance - those who reported from the arena - all seem to have missed it. Between what events? What day? What time of day? Anybody there for it?

A Very Special Skating Federation

Did you know?

That Kaitlyn Weaver's mom makes Andrew and Kaitlyn very special Christmas breakfast tacos on Christmas morning?

That Andrew and Kaitlyn live together and this year put up only a small Christmas tree?

That they spend Christmas day playing "Just Dance" together?

That Kaitlyn and Andrew are best friends?

That Kaitlyn and Andrew are heterosexual?

That Kaitlyn's aunt gives them a Christmas ornament every year?

That Kaitlyn and Andrew do their Christmas shopping together all over the world?

That Kaitlyn loves Andrew's cooking and Kaitlyn is a mean baker?*

That Kaitlyn and Andrew do not have sex with each other?

Happy Holidays! We wanted you all to know
we do everything together except fuck!

Did you know?

That Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison

used to be lovers and then were not?

used to have sex with each other then stopped?

banged the gong together but the music died? 

knew each other biblically but lost their religion?

were opposites, but that's good says their sports counselor, Dr. Sylvain Guimond, because

"if they are different, they are better than if they are exactly the same. Because where your strengths are, that's where I have my weaknesses. And where I have strength, that's where you have weakness.**

Or, as Rowan Atkinson would say:

Happy Holidays. We stopped fucking
 and won this World medal. Coincidence? 
You decide.*

Did you know?

That Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue

love each other in a way that's undeniable?

In a way that's undeniable

are part of each other's families?

that Scott thinks this is a fun way to promote Body Butter?

We don't have sex!

that Tessa missed the Grand Prix season and Nationals last year because of her shins?

that they get excited just to hold each others hands, but do not have sex with each other?

that Scott carried Tessa from her hospital bed after surgery last year, but they don't have sex?

that Scott used to glower because his buddies hit on Tessa, but he and Tessa have never had sex?***

that Tessa believes Scott bounds out of bed the second the alarm goes off, raring to go, and Scott says Tessa hits the snooze alarm five or six times but gets ready really fast, but they can only guess cause they don't live together or have sex with each other?

that they went to marriage counseling together but do not have sex?

that their relationship is "unique"**** ?

that they're heterosexual?

that as children, Tessa had a crush on Scott but doesn't know if he had a crush on her?

I wonder how Skate Canada knows which couples to focus upon. At the annual training camps and team meetings is it, "Okay, show of hands, who is having sex with each other and who isn't?  Those of you who once did, but stopped - hold that thought. We'll get back to you later."

And when the ones who are doing it raise their hands, Debbi calls em up to the rostrum and says, "No, you're not." And they go "Okay." ? Then the ones who had their hands down, Debbi calls em up to see what the problem is? Better not be gayness.

I'm curious when we'll get the news that Megean Duhamel and Eric Radford are not doing it. When will we hear that not fucking had nothing to do with Paul Poirier and Vanessa Crone's split? I kind of suspect that they're going with a different spin for Crone/Poirier. Poor Vanessa wasn't able to showcase Paul's masculinity, but now with Piper, it's just busting out all over.*****

Not that Debbi, Bill and Barb aren't all awfully attractive people, but when was the last time they got any with anyone they really wanted to get it from that really wanted them for them? Are they afraid if the public believes these attractive, successful young people ARE together they'll be jealous - as envious as Debbi, Bill and Barb? So it's better to assure everyone it's all perfect and close and darling and wonderful, but nobody's getting laid that you'd give a damn about? They can't handle it so the public can't?

It's always circling back to this icky with them.

What is it?

The three of them evoke the faculty of a particularly unsavory, stereotypical, gothic English boarding school. Leering and lascivious, like by proxy is the only way they can get near it.
___________________________
*No euphemism intended - they're platonic.

**Thank you Dr. Sylvain "Debbi Wilkes" Guimond.

***with each other.

****"unique". Aw. How cute. They think it's unique. These small town kids. :)  Birds and Bees

*****Did you know that Paul Poirier

skates faster than most hockey players and falls harder than most football players -- all without padding?

has been around a Harley Davidson?