Nice job, Canadian Marketing Association!

Thanks to the participant in a previous comments section who linked to the first photo below.

I must say Canada's marketing and communications community has just been showing its ass representing all over the place as models of professionalism, integrity and truthiness, going above and beyond for Tessa and Scott. Love Rose Schwartz's* Robyn Short's #Imstillshaking, and love when marketing gets meta - the actual marketing person is the face promoting the guests she's highlighting in connection with her event, and she even models the reaction required from us. Again with the OMG, Scott and Tessa are such huge stars you guys! meme they've been spamming us with all summer. We get that, right? So we should check ourselves. Just be grateful Scott and Tessa are out there at all, and don't ask questions.Who do we think we are. #bowdown

Here's Tessa at TWIINS, posing with Robyn Short, Marketing and Communications Coordinator at Toronto Rehab Foundation.Toronto Rehab put out a whole bunch of promotional materials for this event, but that's no reason to suspect Robyn Short is acquainted with any photo editing professionals.

Well, maybe "professional" is a stretch.

 This is how Tessa really looked last night.

Bad angle.

Bad angle plus crazy face.

ETA, thanks to a comment below, WTF:



What happened here is Tessa posed for the picture with Robyn Short, holding in the gut she'd acquired from sucking down whipping cream on National Coffee Day.Then she bolted for the liquor, hors d'oeuvres and carbonated beverages. She's got crazy face in the photo above because she feels self conscious about her lack of self-control, which was so extreme it bloated not just her midsection, but her boobs.

BTW - Tessa and Scott care a whole, whole lot that the first picture is clearly manipulated and she's looking pregnant as all get out in the other photos. And by that I mean, they care not at all.
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*See Whoopie Goldberg's character in Soapdish.

P.S. Remember when the blog said Tessa could be projecting three feet in front, wear a belly shirt and paint a target on her abdomen, and everybody would pretend not to notice except for here? Maybe that gave Scott and Tessa ideas.

If it ain't broke . . .

Here's the first part of a post about the short dance of the 2015 United States Ice Dance Champions broken into far too many gifs and screen caps. It will be finished tomorrow, followed by posts about the other new short dances.

Yanking, pulling and dragging is the new skating, and as long as you make strong eye contact with the audience, and avoid any kind of contact with each other, you'll max out the scores. If Madison does win a U.S. gold medal in ice dance, I hope she hangs it on her left arm; it's doing all the work here.

It's a bit dispiriting to go through this, because it's not as if I have Virtue and Moir to fall back on. Ah, here's the real thing! We're going to see variations on this Chock Bates deal all over the place this season, although after breaking down the short dance I already know their predetermined victory over the Shibs is criminal.The Shibs skated better than this in 2009. But as we all see, the secret to successful ice dancing is to strip out most of the skating, and the secret to strong pcs is to skate far apart. But at least they have great lines!

Bobrova and Soliev posture is the new proper
posture.

See that straight up and down thing from Madison, dead on her flat? Lots and lots of that.

First gif:

Pulling is the new skating.

Work it, Maddy's Arm.

Lift prep. A flat and two footed in quasi snow
plow, all hands on deck. We all know how high risk
these short dance lifts can be. A real test of the skating skills.

All the corruption in the world

I'm putting the latest sham post below this one, because it's just a post making fun of some of the sham conceits, such as Tessa and Scott's ability to go places without carrying anything with them, and Jessica and Scott's determination to pose in swimsuits on the bare Santa Monica sand in 2009 despite it barely clearing 60 degrees in Santa Monica on any of the days they were in L.A. for Worlds. Then they get half naked and don't even touch.

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This is the first of what I hope will be three posts by next week (the others are a sham-focused post, and a look at the ice dance short programs that just had their debut).

Before I get started:


Virtue and Moir's paso doble cd from the 2009 World Championships. This performance placed third, but was enough to keep them on the podium after placing sixth in the od and fourth in the free dance. (The free dance placements in this competition were ridiculous, and Virtue and Moir ought to have been first after the cd.). Look at the incredible edge lean, close feet, precision, unison, and remember the condition of Tessa's legs back then, how recently she'd had her original CES surgery, how her legs were still recovering, and bear in mind the toll cds take on the shins, and how little mileage she had on the ice up to this point. This performance was in my mind's eye when I looked at all those healthy skaters doing the paso pattern this week, and this performance answers any questions about what Virtue and Moir can achieve in very little time (particularly from those who believe Virtue and Moir "need to spend every second" on program drills anytime they have an abbreviated training schedule). Remember that Virtue and Moir skated a different cd in all three events they competed that season. Viennese Waltz at Canadians, the Finnstep at the 4CCs, and paso here.

*******

I decided to google "Figure skating is corrupt" to see if there's anything other than the usual old articles on 2002 and more recent commentary on Slutnikova v. Yuna Kim out there.

Figure Skating is Hopelessly Corrupt

This links to a February 2014 Kevin Drum article in Mother Jones wondering which sport is more corrupt, figure skating or ski jumping. Me, I had no idea there were issues with ski jumping, but that's comforting. Sometimes it's lonely feeling as if all the other sports have actual oversight on the field of play while we're stuck with a sport that does exactly what it wants and fuck the rest of us.

Unsurprisingly, Mother Jones concludes that figure skating is more corrupt than ski jumping:

Normally, my rule of thumb is that the higher up the world ladder you go (local vs. national vs. international) the more corrupt a sport becomes. Thus, I would have guessed that a sport in which the international federation chooses judges would be more corrupt than one in which national federations choose judges. But no!

Drum's primary reference is this February 12, 2014 Washington Post article by Eric Zitzewitz:

How ski jumping gets Olympic judging right and figure skating gets it wrong

Quoting Zitzewitz:

Ski jumping has its international federation select the judges for competitions like the Olympics, and I find that they select the least biased judges. Figure skating lets its national federations select the judges, and my research showed that they select the most biased judges.

This creates different incentives for judges. Ski jumping judges display less nationalism in lower-level competitions — it appears they keep their nationalism under wraps in less important contests to avoid missing their chance at judging the Olympics. Figure skating judges are actually more biased in the lesser contests; they may actually be more biased than they would like to be due to pressure from their federations.

Quoting Drum:

It turns out that ski jumping judges are biased, but the other judges are mostly biased in the other direction, so everything ends up even. Having an American judge doesn't help American jumpers. Figure skating is just the opposite. Not only are national judges biased, the other judges all go along. If an American judge is on the panel, American skaters get higher marks from the American judge and also get higher marks from all the other judges

The incredible shrinking Tessa

This totally current photo of a very petite Tessa (even the boobs are suddenly petite again)

Edited caption: Warp tool abuse

reminded me of this photo:**

posted in the blog's early days, wherein we see Jessica and Scott photographed enjoying together time at the beach in Santa Monica, CA (2009, during Worlds), without beach blanket, bags, keys, sunblock, water, ipod, snack, etc., as you do. They were teleported, or space shipped. 

Which is to say, there is Tessa, off to the library, waiting for the UFO that's carrying her books, car keys, bag, house keys and i.d. They really are unique.

Split Post Part 2

The comments section in the post below this one is getting hefty again, so the post has been split to open a new comments section. There should be a new post at some point this week.

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P.S. - About twitter sightings and other social media fakery:

Who has Jessica Dube dated since her sham stint ended after Worlds 2012? She's not sharing on her facebook, when her facebook used to chronicle every step she took with Scott Moir. Even after it was restricted, her profile picture did the job. How come when she was "dating Scott Moir" she was spotted thither and yon according to fans, not just with Scott, but in full make out? Since her sham stint terminated, she's been on Battle of the Blades, a program that has more of an audience than any single program Jessica ever skated in her competitive career. She works at Journey to Excel, in the  high profile city of Toronto. She attended fashion week last year. Are we to presume Jessica Dube hasn't been on a date since she was replaced in the sham by Cassandra Hilborn? She's invisible now? Where are the lower ranked skaters who admire her, where are the people whose aunts know her sister and are at the same wedding as Jessica, what happened to various fans who claimed to recognize her in bars or restaurants or airports? Where were the sightings around the BOTB venue and the Journey to Excel facilities?

David Pelletier has a womanizing reputation thanks to getting with Jamie while still married to his first wife. Has he become a monk? He's been on BOTB as well, as a competitor (and won) and on the sidelines. He's on twitter. Did he have plastic surgery to change his appearance? Is there a vow of celibacy? How come he hasn't been "spotted" with anyone since Tessa moved on with Ryan Semple? For that matter, how come all of those people who "spotted" Tessa and Pelletier never had their phones or cameras with them, but the people who "spot" Tessa now so often do? Who is David dating?

Then there's Meryl Davis and Charlie White. They wore gold medals in Sochi and stood on top of the podium. They were stars of one of ABC's top-rated programs and Meryl Davis was announced as the winner. The program had fun keeping Davis fans guessing about her relationship with Maks (and boy did Maks bolt from that the second the show ended, even if it meant people had to think he was getting with JLo). Thanks to frequent close-ups of her in the audience and frequent shout-outs by Charlie, Tanith Belbin's profile rose as well. They're publicly engaged. Where are all the tweets telling us that Charlie and Tanith are right here in this restaurant? Meryl Davis and Charlie are such stars, the paps stalked them to the group vacation they took with the DWTs pros and papped Charlie/Tanith's engagement canoodling. Is Meryl in the same religious order as David Pelletier? She's never out with a guy. Nobody ever sees her with Fedor.

I think she's not seen with Fedor because fans don't WANT her to be with Fedor, so they don't make it up. And because thus far, her relationship with Fedor is by implication only, not ramped up like Tessa and Scott, so Meryl isn't causing it to be done (unlike how the pap stuff on the post-DWTs vacation was - a set up).

I just find it amazing that Tessa is spotted out and about so consistently with Ryan Semple, when she went years without ever being spotted by people on social media, not even when she "dated" Ryan Semple in the past. She gets a twitter account and - voila! She's spotted with him all the time, and it's documented with photos. Was she just not famous enough before she joined twitter?

Has Scott, the guy who partied so hard he was said to be a creepy, coked up hooligan this past spring, reformed so much he never goes out anymore? How can he go so long without being "spotted" #greatpeople, #goldmedalistsx2, #staycool. Or is he just so in love he and Kaitlyn never leave the hotel?

Tessa gets a twitter; suddenly it's Tessa who is being spotted left and right. Before she got twitter, she must have been invisible at every wedding, restaurant, bar, and next day event at both TIFF and fashion week. She gets twitter, suddenly every random on the street can spot her blocks away. Scott's facebook worked the same way. So did Jessica's.

I'm also curious about when Ryan Semple became more famous than Scott Moir. Someone tweeted that her sister was at a wedding, seated at the same table as Scott and Tessa. Why didn't the sister whip out her phone and commemorate the honor, since it was exciting enough to pass on to her sibling? How come this only happens when it's Scott/Kaitlyn or Tessa/Ryan? 

Before they had nothing in common

Barry Mittan 2003 - Virtue and Moir Real Crowd Pleasers

I read this 2003 article (excerpted in large part here), written by the late, great photojournalist Barry Mittan, long after it was originally published. It remains my favorite. Mittan gets out of the way, and Virtue Moir aren't control freaking their way through the Q&A, jackhammering themselves into their respective rigid public personas.

"South Carolina" might seem like a random dream destination for Scott Moir circa 2003, until one reads that girls can get married in South Carolina at age fourteen.

Skating is a family tradition for the Moirs. “Everyone in my family skated,” he said. “My mother is a figure skating coach, my dad played hockey and coached and my two older brothers skated. I started skating at three, got my first dance partner at age eight and started skating with Tessa at nine.” Virtue had a slightly different reason when she started at the age of six. “I didn’t want to be the only one in my class who couldn’t skate when we went on a school field trip to the arena,” she said.
Virtue began dancing with Moir when she was seven. “I am still trying to do singles, but once I got a dance partner, things just kind of clicked,” she said. She competed in singles last year and finished second at the All Ontario Championships. She almost has her double Axel and is working on triple jumps. Both skaters decided to try dance due to the influence of Moir’s brother, Danny, a senior ice dancer. The two teamed up when Moir’s aunt, Carol Moir, who coached both of the skaters for singles, decided they would make good dance partners.
The dancers train in Kitchener-Waterloo with Paul MacIntosh, Suzanne Killing and Rebecca Babb. They train for three hours on ice Monday through Friday before school and two hours off ice after school Monday to Thursday. That includes conditioning, aerobics, weight training, and balletics, although they each have approach the barre differently. Moir, who also plays hockey, was adamant that he takes ballet “only for skating purposes,” while Virtue, who has had classes since she was three, said, “One of the highlights of my life was the summer I spent at the National Ballet School when I was nine.”
Killing also choreographs the couple’s dances. Moir’s favorite compulsory dances are the Blues and the Golden Waltz, while Virtue likes the Paso and the Samba. He listed the Rocker Foxtrot as his hardest compulsory so far while she thought the Rhumba was the hardest. This season they skated to “Les Poissons” and “Concerto Sopra Motivi dell’Opera” for the original dance and “Malaguena”, “Eres Todo En Mi”, and “Tres Deseos” for their free dance. “I like to skate to anything interesting and fun,” Moir said, while Virtue noted that she liked “something lively, dancy and fun.” Off ice, Moir listens to the top 40 while Virtue listens to almost anything. She also plays the piano.
For fun, Moir likes to hang out with friends and plays sports. “I try to play as many sports as I can,” he said. He plays forward on a house league hockey team. Virtue likes to dance, spend time with friends, and shop. “I study ballet and modern dance,” she said. Moir likes to read action books and watch action movies, while Virtue likes mystery and comedy books and almost any kind of movies. Both are dog lovers. He has a dog named Diamond, while she has two dogs, Keeta, a Shepherd Cross and Maddie, a Rhodesian Ridgeback. She also lives with a family in Kitchener-Waterloo with a dog named Duffy. Both skaters keep the stuffed animals that are thrown on the ice.
For holidays, Moir enjoys going to a lakeside cottage in Muskokas, north of Toronto and enjoy time off at his family’s home. Virtue said, “My family often tries to add in a few days of vacation time around a skating event or competition.” She has enjoyed traveling to Chicago, Lake Placid and Vienna and hopes to go to Paris, Italy and Spain one day, while Moir wants to see Hawaii and South Carolina.
Both of the skaters are attending Bluevale High School, where Moir is in tenth grade and Virtue in ninth. The dancers have not decided on a post-skating career although Moir listed airlift paramedic and Toronto Maple Leafs trainer as possible careers, while Virtue has thought of being a lawyer or a teacher.
Moir said that he most enjoyed skating because of “the experiences, performing and the people you meet.” Virtue said she’s enjoyed “friends I’ve made, performing in front of a crowd and the dresses!”

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*They forgot to mention Kate Virtue relocated to Kitchener-Waterloo and Tessa lived there with her. Maybe because she didn't.

AAP Optics

AAP is Sport Canada*'s Athletes Assistance Program.

Athletes Assistance Program

The link should provide answers to questions about eligibility, compliance, how the financial support is received, etc. The AAP exists to financially assist Canada's high performance athletes whose NSOs (National Sports Organizations) are AAP-eligible, and who have had a top sixteen or above finish at the previous World Championships or Olympics, or who demonstrate the potential for such placement in the next World Championships or Olympics. It is not a reward for past results. It exists to subsidize an athlete's current training and living expenses while training for upcoming international events and World championships and/or Olympics.

Athletes carded for and receiving AAP support as of August 1, 2014.

Kaitlyn Lawes is also S1, and receives $18,000.

According to how AAP administers financial assistance to its carded athletes as specified in its Policies and Procedures manual (relevant examples below), and unless Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue have renounced their eligibility since August 1, 2014, their shared household currently receives $3,000 a month ($1,500 each*) in living and training allowance money from Sport Canada's Athletes Assistance Program.

There are exceptions to the residency requirements (see document link above) that anyone at Scott and Tessa's level could easily meet.

At Skate Canada, Mike Slipchuk (Skate Canada's High Performance Director) would be responsible for compliance oversight. An NSO's AAP-related responsibilities include (but are not even close to being limited to), the following:

The carded athletes themselves must sign the AAP agreement affirming that they understand and are in compliance with AAP policies.

More policy:

This is athlete assistance for Olympic, para-Olympic, and certain qualified categories of non-Olympic sports. It's not assistance for a couple of ice dancers watching from the stands at HPC as they transition from competitive athletes to mentors/advisers.

It's not a subsidy for show skaters whose days and nights consist of golfing, going to school, shopping, hanging out at the nonexistent family farm, walking red carpets, having girls night outs, enjoying musical theater, or pretending to golf or camp with the fake girlfriend. It's a subsidy for high performance athletes in training.

I suspect there's something Scott and Tessa aren't telling us. What are the odds?

Unless the athlete is injured or pregnant, in which event, a) the athlete in question can take off four months, during which time it appears AAP considers the athlete's training status to be the NSO's purview, not AAP's (so in Scott and Tessa's case, that's Slipchuk), or b) if the athlete has to curtail a full training/competitive schedule for a longer period of time due to illness, injury or pregnancy. In the latter event, they will continue to receive their full AAP assistance as long as they set themselves up to return to full high performance training at the earliest possible date, as per these guidelines:

Scott and Tessa receive the monthly living and training allowance awarded S1/S2 carded athletes.

From what I've been able to read so far (haven't found Skate Canada's own AAP document yet), most winter sport carding cycles end after the sport's competitive season concludes (often spring to spring), for each of the nomination period's two eligible years. It would certainly be odd if Skate Canada's cycles began/ended somewhere in the middle. But, whenever the given sport's cycles run, AAP compliance must be maintained month-to-month.