A few years ago I read The Big Short, a successful quasi-comic story centering on the precarious (as it turned out) housing bubble of the mid-0s. What stayed with me was learning that terms for financial products are intentionally obscure. The name of an investment term is not going to tell you what it means - it may mean the opposite or have no relation to the name.

There may be a facile, quasi-legitimate explanation for this custom but obviously the natural supposition is to assume banks and investment companies want a barrier between their understanding and the client's ability to understand what's being done with their money.

Here an aggrieved Papadakis & Cizeron fan on youtube weighs in on the results at Europeans:

Word salad matching the floaty. metronomic incoherence of Papadakis & Cizeron's out of sync, lowered center of gravity, all hands on deck, two-footed mish mash of skating skills.

Confident fans of this stripe still exist because while figure skating has rules, codes, definitions, and criteria, not only have these been dumbed down and not only has wiggle room been built in and not only are what rules and criteria still exist often ignored in the scores, but the figure skating markets itself as performance, not sport, and its participants as emotional and theatrical performers, not athletes.

****

Checked in on Virtue and Moir and could only find lots of stuff like this:



and this



Here a glossy Tessa once again delivers the same painfully anodyne point she's been recycling for a decade. The importance of using her "voice" to empower (retire that word! Retire that fucking word!) and inspire girls. Cautioning how the sport puts so much emphasis on aesthetics. Tessa, the greatest ice dancer of all time, has had a post-Olympic career with an explicit and implicit focus on how beautiful she is no matter what's coming out of her mouth. Well, beautiful AND adorable because one wants to be accessible. relatable. I wonder if when she delivers copy like this for the hundred millionth time if she ever wants to bash her own head in. Our takeaway here is she wants girls to know it's important for even female athletes to be fit. Good Christ. Two Olympic golds and that's what she's got for us.

Needless to say she's embodying a classic contradiction between words, the format in which they're conveyed, and an immaculately enhanced appearance (in what is already a conventionally beautiful woman).

Although she's speaking softly and earnestly, the overall message is more this (From Crazy Ex Girlfriend):

Well dang

This whole thing. I did a dive into non mainstream web pages and forums*, hit the expected mudslide, and saw myself out.

When it comes to versimilitude, you can't
beat figure skaters. But I think her story
might be more interesting than his.

I call twins in 2020.

I've looked at a bunch of pictures from the Meryl Davis and Fedor Andreev weddings and Marina Zoueva certainly managed to hide from the camera whether it be Town & Country's or People's.


*Everything is mainstream for all intents and purposes but meant non pay for play publications and pages.

**********

Every good thought to and for this one.

Maia Shibutani

The Davis White of ballet

A few years ago (2015) Tessa Virtue's twitter excitedly noted Misty Copeland's elevation to principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre. I follow ballet only intermittently and half-assed, but recognize superior musicality and (hopefully "AND") technique when I see it, When I checked out Copeland after Virtue's tweet, it was clear Copeland didn't have either. Her core strength wasn't steady, she wasn't overendowed with grace, and she was, in the great tradition of recent World Champions in ice dance as well as in the tradition of the 2014 nominal Olympic champions in ice dance - iffy at transitions (transitions are the tell for every skating discipline).



Copeland eliminating nearly two thirds of the fouettes in Swan Lake - filling in the music with rehearsed "improvisation" - gave away the game. She can't do them - it wasn't just the night. This caused a lot of talk even though, in my impression, few observers were surprised.

Also very Davis-Whitey is this critique of Copeland's Kitri in Don Quixote:

Ballet Focus - Copeland's Kitri in Don Quixote

Unfortunately, her performance Saturday evening was an exercise in getting by, a cautious rendering that included shortcuts in certain steps allowing her to check the Don Quixote box as she works her way down the classics list.
An example is Kitri’s turn in attitude (leg bent behind her) after a supported promenade in the Act III pas de deux. Generally Kitri does at least one turn before going to a knee; Misty did about a quarter turn before quickly going to her knee. Another example is Misty’s fouetté turns, the punctuating mark in Kitri’s solos in Act III. Much has been written about Misty’s struggles with fouettés since her debut in Swan Lake, summarized in Gia Kourlas’s profile of her in The New York Times. On Saturday, she started her fouettés off-center at stage left rather than the customary center stage. The reason is that she, like Hee Seo in Swan Lake, consistently travels to the right as her turns progress. On Saturday, her rightward movements were pronounced as she started her turns. There was hope midway though the segment as she righted herself and did several turns in the same spot. However, she finished up moving dramatically to the right, punctuated by a single pirouette to finish.

It continues to grate that the only reason Virtue and Moir are retiring (or so I believe) is they're not allowed to fairly compete. Maybe it took two years for them to finally reconcile themselves that this was not going to change.

My impression has been that most legends of sport perform at a time - an era - where everything comes together to facilitate their success and nurture/reward their talent. Virtue and Moir competed at a time where the entire sport, including those who should have had their back - worked to undermine them and blatantly resented their capabilities. Even the run-up to 2010 was setting the table for the aftermath when V&M's talent would become as welcome as a skunk at a wedding.

The better they got, the more dumbed down the criteria, and even that wasn't enough as those who couldn't fulfill even dumbed down criteria got full marks while Virtue and Moir were frequently dinged for imaginary errors.

I think more veteran ice dance teams would be competing if Virtue and Moir were still in the game. It's different competing against a superior talent, scored fairly. They can always face splat on an element, get a terrible cold or fever (see Katia Gordeeva at the 1988 World Championships in pairs), get an injury that means sitting out a competition, but if not, at least you know it's fair dealing. In the current climate, it's predetermined. There's oxygen in the sport when actual ability is rewarded.

So when's the wedding

That's not a dare. I completely believe we'll hear there was one. I'll double down and bet we "see" there was one. It'll sort of trickle out, "uncovered" by an enterprising fan.

This tweet made me laugh because the first
time I was clued into this Jackie 
thing (right here in the comments
section of this blog) I could hear
the guffaws and smirks in Ilderton
from here. And maybe also picture one of
W Network-Tessa's small, malicious smiles (the
creepy ones she used for the bot-version
of herself in their mockumentary.)
 Team VM's development is still arrested.
Still prefers to punch down. They experiment with
maturity/a facsimile of mutual respect,
then revert to douche after getting bored.

I looked at the Skate Canada/Skate America figure skating results and it's just as if figure skating has been cancelled and the skaters still training, prepping programs and getting themselves out there to compete missed the memo. Are figure skating competitions still a thing?

AND I looked at the Virtue Moir fandom where not a lot is going on either (although there's a good chance I'm not surfing the right social media hot spots). The buzz seems to have hit a wall (or gone "private") after quite a bit of flailing at the end of summer. I'm not sure why it is that - after Jessica, Cassandra and Kaitlyn - Jackie Mascarin seemed to push some fans over the edge. I get the impression some of the most ragey fans were new, but I also believe that on an instinctual level many of the newer fans as usual KNOW they're being fucked with, so they script a scenario to incorporate that feeling, but have somehow blocked themselves from considering the actual ways they've been fucked with and exploited. I really would recommend that anyone who persistently has that feeling towards a situation (not just a fan one, as shamed as fans may be made to feel), to stop taking a personal inventory of yourself in some effort to signal maturity and "objectivity" to yourself (i.e., I'm overinvested, I'm projecting, I'm I'm I'm I'm) and use some freaking common sense. Is projection and overinvestment a recurring issue in your life? No? Then you're being fucked with. When it comes to gaslighting, I would always advise someone struggling with things that "don't add up" to just go ahead and reject whatever basic premise you've been given. Things will clear up fast.

Plenty of celebrities have taken to scripting their lives for the public as if they're in a reality show.

But, in addition, with Virtue and Moir and their team, terrible acting and collateral offense-giving are still intact after all these years, not to mention Scott's habit of working both sides of the street.

Then cue general interest/lifestyle reporters who step in to lecture fans over the fan reaction to a situation the reporter either knows is a lie fed to the fans being targeted, or the "journalist" doesn't know either way, hasn't checked it out, but just kicks into fan-abuse autopilot because that's how our transactional celebrity/media - celebrity/celebrity ecosystem functions. I have no no no no no more patience for that on any level on any topic in any sector.

A distinguishing and extra obnoxious facet of Virtue and Moir's shenanigans has always been how the media and the ten-years-married duo incite the fans to react, and then proceed to patronize them (at best) or attack them (not atypical) for this strong-armed, prompted reaction. It really does borrow from the classic abuse cycle template.

****

Switching gears, this gif of Katia Gordeeva on Battle of the Blades:

Showcasing a more pleasant eternal verity.

Speed, immaculate stroking, impeccable body control. She's been doing this for over 35 years. She calls back to an time when Olympic champions in figure skating were legitimately and consistently extraordinary.

I want to mention that this is someone who for ages gave the impression of wanting to be left alone. A professional, considerate person, clearly a quality human being, as they say, but not much of a self-promoter. I'm not a fan of Dave Lease (the Skating Lesson), but once he described Gordeeva's impatience at a post-show corporate meet and greet as, "She was beginning to not understand English."

She was completely genuine, and did not suffer fools. One day she turned up on social media (twitter). Kristi Yamaguchi basically virtually fainted. "Is that actually you!!!!!???" Ever since, Gordeeva has routinely posted, supporting her daughters, supporting skaters she assists, showing off something someone she loves has cooked, showcasing accomplishments of those she loves and supports, showing us adventures and outings. It's a very generously managed account. What she doesn't tweet about? Her divorce. Her dating life. She figured out that she wanted to use the spotlight on her to turn the spotlight on other people, to engage with the world and open up that way.  To be accessible without violating her own privacy, and without ostentatiously making a show of her boundaries. She decided to be a person, not a very unique snowflake. (And if she's not very very unique, and refuses to handle her public life as if she is, who in skating has the right?) From what I've read about her, she's always tried to teach herself gratitude, and now she's putting that into practice in public (reports are she's always done so in private). She's clearly from a bygone era.

Thank Heaven

Speculation to follow. I think they were holding out for a potential 2022 and got a no go. I'm not sad about it. Ice dance competitions shouldn't produce impotent rage, and that's all the sport has been about for five years and counting.

... Checking back in. I rewatched the video and are they retiring from skating after this show, or retiring from the "competitive sport" of ice dance? Most of the video appeared to refer to a competitive career, particularly when they verbally pass the baton to upcoming teams who will "break all of our records." But there's also the part where they say they're retiring, but not before they're done with the current tour.

I think most people thought they'd already retired from the sport, just as most fans made the same assumption after Sochi. What have they been doing for the nearly two years since Pyeongchang? Certainly not competing in their sport. This is what makes me suspect they wanted to do a fourth Olympics but not if they really weren't going to get the opportunity to officially win. I am not selling short the fact that their entire lives have been spent as elite level athletes, and officially retiring is a massive step, and getting on the ice to make the video is their highest level of geeking out. And I think it also underscores how important competition has always been to both of them, no matter how Tessa has blathered over time about balance, fashion and dance, or Scott acts like he'd rather be off somewhere using his penis to shoot a gun (sorry to mix or maybe fuse metaphors there, but anyone who watched their "reality show" will know the Scott I mean). They're insane competitors, and probably hold the record for successive perfect performances in Olympic figure skating. No other skaters, no matter how great, have put down two perfect Olympic performances in successive Olympics, let alone in three successive Olympics. I do wonder if this official retirement has been thrust upon them.

Years on, it's still unsettling how in these scenarios everybody looks uncomfortable but Tessa. I've tried to bury the W Network's Tessa and Scott Tessa but still recall that what came through of the Tessa and Scott Tessa made one pretty queasy about the actual Tessa who signed off on it.

The video of Scott Moir mentioning his "fiancee" isn't embeddable yet, so I went with this robot report on youtube. He certainly made that announcement most naturally.

I've never stalked Virtue Moir for blog material, although as many know, that would not be difficult. More people know about them than don't know about them.

As place-holdery as the blog is currently, the point was never just or even primarily to highlight the gap between the reality and what they're selling. It's the cynical exploitation of their fan following; their early deployment of social media as if social media weren't democratic but something they could use as a one way street to exploit their fan following. It's the corruption - the faux sincerity and earnestness pushing lies, with a side order of entitlement and pan-flute accompanied sanctimony.

And it's the gaslighting, the complete inversion of what's actually happening. Fans are called over-invested, basically sex-and-romance-starved and delusional, while Virtue and Moir signal rationality with commendable empathy and tolerance. Let's not call it condescending.

There's a status element to it that's revolting.

Very few fans outside this blog publicly question their claims, which makes Virtue and Moir liars in portraying their fan base. Those who call Virtue and Moir liars are correct. Virtue and Moir are married parents.

Didn't they do this already?

Another Hall of Fame Thingie

I thought they already had Hall of Fame installations put up in London/Ilderton after 2010, but I guess you can never have enough.

I'd imagined 2019-20 was the season Virtue and Moir had to pull the trigger (or not) on a fourth Olympics, but I jumped that gun. All we've got anticipation-wise is speculating what next troll-tastic firecracker the two will throw into the otherwise semi-dormant VM fandom: Can they even top, "Scott's dating his partner. His OTHER partner." It was a one note joke but easy to imagine guffaws all around in Moirville.

Almost 25 years ago a number of pairs figure skaters were bitter at Gordeeva & Grinkov's return to Olympic competition. It kicked everybody else down a step, "robbing" several aspirants of their podium finish hopes. Similarly, if Virtue Moir hadn't competed in Pyeongchang, Papadakis & Cizeron would have received their gold medal in 2018, and this current cycle might claim some legitimacy. Instead we endure two more years of Papadakis & Cizeron's synchronized swimming on ice. Two more years of virtue-signaling from Tessa Virtue's social media, two more years of Scott and Tessa yet again re-tweaking their established relationship narratives or inventing new ones to suit their most recent commercial partnership. It's no Shibutanis again, for no reason other than what's the point. It's updated rules and requirements with no actual competitive relevancy. Not Virtue and Moir's fault, but here we are.

Ice dance should be abolished as an Olympic sport after 2022. That could be the direction its headed. This cycle could be the argument that gets it done.

10 years of marriage + kids and I'm still not sure
Scott's 100% comfortable with another human
making physical contact with Tessa.
(from Tessa Virtue's instagram)