So when's the wedding

That's not a dare. I completely believe we'll hear there was one. I'll double down and bet we "see" there was one. It'll sort of trickle out, "uncovered" by an enterprising fan.

This tweet made me laugh because the first
time I was clued into this Jackie 
thing (right here in the comments
section of this blog) I could hear
the guffaws and smirks in Ilderton
from here. And maybe also picture one of
W Network-Tessa's small, malicious smiles (the
creepy ones she used for the bot-version
of herself in their mockumentary.)
 Team VM's development is still arrested.
Still prefers to punch down. They experiment with
maturity/a facsimile of mutual respect,
then revert to douche after getting bored.

I looked at the Skate Canada/Skate America figure skating results and it's just as if figure skating has been cancelled and the skaters still training, prepping programs and getting themselves out there to compete missed the memo. Are figure skating competitions still a thing?

AND I looked at the Virtue Moir fandom where not a lot is going on either (although there's a good chance I'm not surfing the right social media hot spots). The buzz seems to have hit a wall (or gone "private") after quite a bit of flailing at the end of summer. I'm not sure why it is that - after Jessica, Cassandra and Kaitlyn - Jackie Mascarin seemed to push some fans over the edge. I get the impression some of the most ragey fans were new, but I also believe that on an instinctual level many of the newer fans as usual KNOW they're being fucked with, so they script a scenario to incorporate that feeling, but have somehow blocked themselves from considering the actual ways they've been fucked with and exploited. I really would recommend that anyone who persistently has that feeling towards a situation (not just a fan one, as shamed as fans may be made to feel), to stop taking a personal inventory of yourself in some effort to signal maturity and "objectivity" to yourself (i.e., I'm overinvested, I'm projecting, I'm I'm I'm I'm) and use some freaking common sense. Is projection and overinvestment a recurring issue in your life? No? Then you're being fucked with. When it comes to gaslighting, I would always advise someone struggling with things that "don't add up" to just go ahead and reject whatever basic premise you've been given. Things will clear up fast.

Plenty of celebrities have taken to scripting their lives for the public as if they're in a reality show.

But, in addition, with Virtue and Moir and their team, terrible acting and collateral offense-giving are still intact after all these years, not to mention Scott's habit of working both sides of the street.

Then cue general interest/lifestyle reporters who step in to lecture fans over the fan reaction to a situation the reporter either knows is a lie fed to the fans being targeted, or the "journalist" doesn't know either way, hasn't checked it out, but just kicks into fan-abuse autopilot because that's how our transactional celebrity/media - celebrity/celebrity ecosystem functions. I have no no no no no more patience for that on any level on any topic in any sector.

A distinguishing and extra obnoxious facet of Virtue and Moir's shenanigans has always been how the media and the ten-years-married duo incite the fans to react, and then proceed to patronize them (at best) or attack them (not atypical) for this strong-armed, prompted reaction. It really does borrow from the classic abuse cycle template.

****

Switching gears, this gif of Katia Gordeeva on Battle of the Blades:

Showcasing a more pleasant eternal verity.

Speed, immaculate stroking, impeccable body control. She's been doing this for over 35 years. She calls back to an time when Olympic champions in figure skating were legitimately and consistently extraordinary.

I want to mention that this is someone who for ages gave the impression of wanting to be left alone. A professional, considerate person, clearly a quality human being, as they say, but not much of a self-promoter. I'm not a fan of Dave Lease (the Skating Lesson), but once he described Gordeeva's impatience at a post-show corporate meet and greet as, "She was beginning to not understand English."

She was completely genuine, and did not suffer fools. One day she turned up on social media (twitter). Kristi Yamaguchi basically virtually fainted. "Is that actually you!!!!!???" Ever since, Gordeeva has routinely posted, supporting her daughters, supporting skaters she assists, showing off something someone she loves has cooked, showcasing accomplishments of those she loves and supports, showing us adventures and outings. It's a very generously managed account. What she doesn't tweet about? Her divorce. Her dating life. She figured out that she wanted to use the spotlight on her to turn the spotlight on other people, to engage with the world and open up that way.  To be accessible without violating her own privacy, and without ostentatiously making a show of her boundaries. She decided to be a person, not a very unique snowflake. (And if she's not very very unique, and refuses to handle her public life as if she is, who in skating has the right?) From what I've read about her, she's always tried to teach herself gratitude, and now she's putting that into practice in public (reports are she's always done so in private). She's clearly from a bygone era.

Thank Heaven

Speculation to follow. I think they were holding out for a potential 2022 and got a no go. I'm not sad about it. Ice dance competitions shouldn't produce impotent rage, and that's all the sport has been about for five years and counting.

... Checking back in. I rewatched the video and are they retiring from skating after this show, or retiring from the "competitive sport" of ice dance? Most of the video appeared to refer to a competitive career, particularly when they verbally pass the baton to upcoming teams who will "break all of our records." But there's also the part where they say they're retiring, but not before they're done with the current tour.

I think most people thought they'd already retired from the sport, just as most fans made the same assumption after Sochi. What have they been doing for the nearly two years since Pyeongchang? Certainly not competing in their sport. This is what makes me suspect they wanted to do a fourth Olympics but not if they really weren't going to get the opportunity to officially win. I am not selling short the fact that their entire lives have been spent as elite level athletes, and officially retiring is a massive step, and getting on the ice to make the video is their highest level of geeking out. And I think it also underscores how important competition has always been to both of them, no matter how Tessa has blathered over time about balance, fashion and dance, or Scott acts like he'd rather be off somewhere using his penis to shoot a gun (sorry to mix or maybe fuse metaphors there, but anyone who watched their "reality show" will know the Scott I mean). They're insane competitors, and probably hold the record for successive perfect performances in Olympic figure skating. No other skaters, no matter how great, have put down two perfect Olympic performances in successive Olympics, let alone in three successive Olympics. I do wonder if this official retirement has been thrust upon them.

Years on, it's still unsettling how in these scenarios everybody looks uncomfortable but Tessa. I've tried to bury the W Network's Tessa and Scott Tessa but still recall that what came through of the Tessa and Scott Tessa made one pretty queasy about the actual Tessa who signed off on it.

The video of Scott Moir mentioning his "fiancee" isn't embeddable yet, so I went with this robot report on youtube. He certainly made that announcement most naturally.

I've never stalked Virtue Moir for blog material, although as many know, that would not be difficult. More people know about them than don't know about them.

As place-holdery as the blog is currently, the point was never just or even primarily to highlight the gap between the reality and what they're selling. It's the cynical exploitation of their fan following; their early deployment of social media as if social media weren't democratic but something they could use as a one way street to exploit their fan following. It's the corruption - the faux sincerity and earnestness pushing lies, with a side order of entitlement and pan-flute accompanied sanctimony.

And it's the gaslighting, the complete inversion of what's actually happening. Fans are called over-invested, basically sex-and-romance-starved and delusional, while Virtue and Moir signal rationality with commendable empathy and tolerance. Let's not call it condescending.

There's a status element to it that's revolting.

Very few fans outside this blog publicly question their claims, which makes Virtue and Moir liars in portraying their fan base. Those who call Virtue and Moir liars are correct. Virtue and Moir are married parents.

Didn't they do this already?

Another Hall of Fame Thingie

I thought they already had Hall of Fame installations put up in London/Ilderton after 2010, but I guess you can never have enough.

I'd imagined 2019-20 was the season Virtue and Moir had to pull the trigger (or not) on a fourth Olympics, but I jumped that gun. All we've got anticipation-wise is speculating what next troll-tastic firecracker the two will throw into the otherwise semi-dormant VM fandom: Can they even top, "Scott's dating his partner. His OTHER partner." It was a one note joke but easy to imagine guffaws all around in Moirville.

Almost 25 years ago a number of pairs figure skaters were bitter at Gordeeva & Grinkov's return to Olympic competition. It kicked everybody else down a step, "robbing" several aspirants of their podium finish hopes. Similarly, if Virtue Moir hadn't competed in Pyeongchang, Papadakis & Cizeron would have received their gold medal in 2018, and this current cycle might claim some legitimacy. Instead we endure two more years of Papadakis & Cizeron's synchronized swimming on ice. Two more years of virtue-signaling from Tessa Virtue's social media, two more years of Scott and Tessa yet again re-tweaking their established relationship narratives or inventing new ones to suit their most recent commercial partnership. It's no Shibutanis again, for no reason other than what's the point. It's updated rules and requirements with no actual competitive relevancy. Not Virtue and Moir's fault, but here we are.

Ice dance should be abolished as an Olympic sport after 2022. That could be the direction its headed. This cycle could be the argument that gets it done.

10 years of marriage + kids and I'm still not sure
Scott's 100% comfortable with another human
making physical contact with Tessa.
(from Tessa Virtue's instagram)

It's Tessa Virtue's fault

There's a pinned tweet on twitter asserting that Tessa has broken up Weaver & Poje and Virtue and Moir. Weaver and Poje are stepping away, but obviously it's because

Four World Championships for
the same junior level program, performance
and skating skills.

The Shibutanis have also 'extended their break' from ice dance.

We all know only the wardrobe malfunction prevented Papadakis & Cizeron from being crowned Olympic champions in 2018, however Virtue & Moir may have been baited and lured down the garden path the previous season. The sting had already showed itself.

Still, I can't believe that in exchange for the Davis & White Olympic gold in 2014, with which every skating federation clearly cooperated, ice dance agreed to let Papadakis & Cizeron dominate for 8 years, thus bringing Canada and France into the cartel. That's ridiculous. Maybe they were going to retire after 2018 if they'd won, maybe Olympic gold was part of the scheme and Virtue & Moir were sold a bill of goods to entice them back. Ice dance has no Plan B so here we are. How many teams of any appeal still exist as fodder for P&C's gold medal monopoly at this point?

I don't follow either Virtue or Moir on social media, but I do search their tags and @'s when it's time for a blog post. Their social media makes me uncomfortable, particularly Tessa's. Her deep dive into instagram standard imagery while spouting anodyne inanities and "curated" wisdom just feels out of date, and even more, and as much as it's not my thing to focus on, I wish she'd leave herself alone at this point, take that as you will. I keep waiting for her to switch gears, but it's not happening.

Oh My

Has a more confrontational breed of VM fan evolved on social media since the previous Olympic cycle? "That's not a Spanish tan, Scott."

I mean, Scott - do you take them for fools? These aren't yesteryear's fans, you know. They can tell things.

I do think, though, that there's something just echt-Ilderton about the choice of Jackie Mascarin. It's the malice. He IS dating his partner, ha ha ha!!

The meek fans and the badass may differ in tone, but remain siblings under the skin. Identical convoluted fan fic plots running in their heads that they apply to real life, plots that as ever feature their take on a Scott Moir possessing an stagnant psychological state and a stereotypical adolescent expression of same. Narrative stays the same. Common sense never shows up.

Sale & Pelletier at the end
of their Olympic Short Program in 2002

Remember when Skate Canada joined up with the USFSA, the always composed Scott Hamilton and the execrable Sandra Bezic to bully the OOC out of a "second gold medal" to hand off to these deservedly runner-up Olympic pairs skaters? (Only a year later even the bronze medalists, Shen & Zhao, would up their game and leave anything these two ever did behind in the dust). The actual winners, Sikharulidze and Berezhnaya, experienced a wobble in his double axel during the long, and the U.S. media, egged on by the two Feds, and the two hysterics in the broadcast booth, attempted to incite a riot in the arena. 8 years later at the 2010 World Championship, Scott Moir experienced a wobble in his twizzle pass and Virtue and Moir still won. Scott explained this is why you train, so even a wobble in an element still merits L4. He's wrong, the element was downgraded, but of course whether or not the score differential sufficiently reflected it, Virtue and Moir's superior skating skills, higher level of real difficulty and complexity of choreography did make that Worlds win a deserving one. I don't remember Scott ever saying the thoroughly second rate Davis White deserved the gold instead.*

12 years after Salt Lake City, in Sochi, Skate Canada ruthlessly threw the best ice dancers of all time under a bus so that the fucking Gadbois Center could get credit for training champion ice dancers in the next Olympic cycle. That's Skate Canada down to the ground. Blood on the ice for the sake of Sale & Pelletier, into the woodchipper with Virtue and Moir.

I miss the days when people in figure skating could bitch about the judging and about other figure skaters' overscoring or getting screwed, and I don't know if any of us are going to live to see those days return. That was some deal that was struck. There's got to be a Faustian component because it's a fucking eternity this has lasted. The only ice dancers it's permissible to bitch about are/were Virtue and Moir. Virtue and Moir can't bitch about anybody.

******

They still haven't retired.

I wonder who Scott will be dating in 2049.

Fan 1: She still looks pretty glamorous.
Fan 2: Remember when people wanted them
together?
Fan 1: Some people thought they were.
Fan 2: How come?
Fan 1: Baited, trolled, gaslighted. With
a side of female empowerment.
Fan 2: I sure bought a lot of Noxema.

*Pelletier had an improper hold on Sale in a lift plus they skated at arms' length. Soon enough, someone conveniently produced a smoking gun of judging malfeasance that I'm pretty sure was actually bribed / coerced into existence. Nobody needed to strike a deal to score superior skaters over lesser ones.

P.S.

Tessa's been doing some promotional things with this bright and shining feminist. It's disturbing how some of Tessa's instagram production mimics this aesthetic. When you start thinking this looks good (and this is heavily app'ed) you need to come up for air.