There are usually about six subjects* I avoid on social media or the news, and figure skating has started to become one of them:
A recurring gif on my twitter timeline. Applies to so much stuff.
Last month I was on a political blog, squinting and skimming so as to avoid certain key words, when one participant mentioned he was taking a break by watching figure skating. I knew this meant the Grand Prix Final, and as mentioned in last month's post, I knew it would turn out the way it did for VM, and didn't watch. It's not that VM had a rougher skate than usual, although, along with the Shibs, more is expected of them just to stay in contention for the podium than is expected of Papadakis Cizeron, who are only subject to the "don't fall down" requirement. Hell, more is expected of juniors.
It's the Papadakis Cizeron scoring I can't tolerate. The widespread promotion of all things gaslighting has taken its toll, and Papadakis Cizeron are the proverbial bridge too far for me this year. It's only skating. Who needs it.
I didn't even enjoy Virtue and Moir's new ending in their Nationals free dance:
Well, not as much. They're splitting the difference. She's kind of playing dead with her character up there, but if you want to overlook it, you can. Then she gets out of it and they emerge from the program as themselves. Oh my God, what an improvement. That quiet, nuanced ending they had before - that sort of thing has no place in ice dance.
And I was not expecting this:
Iliushechnika and Moscovitch. How it Ended.
I guess an entire glass door fell on Dylan? It didn't miss any part of his important pairs equipment. His hands. His back. His knees. MTM V.2 go to the Olympics. Whatever happened to schadendfreude?
What is this era called? The neverending winning streak of things that suck? I don't even have anything against MTM V.2. That's too small a thing to matter.
I've spent a lot of the past couple of months obsessed with politics, appalled at most of the media and disgusted by some politicians I'd previously respected.
I didn't have the strength to check in on the GPF and discover that the ISU allowed ANOTHER team to defeat VM. Bad enough they went back and forth w/Davis White, but a second team is obscene. Another team with dumbed down skating and an aggressively ignorant fan following is showered w/10s while VM fans shrink from community discussion.
I knew it was going to happen, just went completely derelict on the blog because it was going to be that ONE THING that broke the camel's back. I mean, not really, I'm fine, but enough already.
VM were imperfect (you know, that's like saying Hillary Clinton is flawed like you always have to say it about her, because all other candidates were perfect). Papadakis & Cizeron skated a program that even juniors can't get away with, so they truly are exceptional. It's not as if they've shown the way. What they do applies only to them.
Was just reading a discussion on Golden Skate in which a fan claimed that the Moulin Rouge lift is not really a lift. I just thought of Charlie White sliding Meryl's ass along the ice before swinging her by both arms, pivoting, and landing her on his back and thought - what a magnificent lift that was. Not as good a lift as jumping onto your partners unevenly balanced thighs knees first, though, while gripping his shoulders. THAT's a lift.
If there has been a skating team that has had to eat more shit than Virtue & Moir, I don't know who they are. I think the ISU adores being sadistic and having control over a pair of talents that so clearly outclass and outskate any other team that has ever competed in this ... activity.
I've said before that I doubt Virtue and Moir are actually being coached by Marie France Dubreuil and Patrick Lauzon. I don't think they ever have been. Even last year's programs, I bet used a mere veneer of Dubreuil-esque flourishes while Virtue and Moir got their real coaching somewhere else. They're beyond Dubreuil Lauzon, technically and in every other respect. They've worked with and trained with the best in the world, and while there are excellent coaches who never became World or Olympic champions themselves, Dubreuil Lauzon are not among them. DL's signature team is Papadakis Cizeron. We can see how resourceful that choreography is, not to mention technically pristine.* Virtue and Moir are out of Dubreuil Lauzon's league, and if Papadakis Cizeron skated exactly as they skate now but didn't move to Gadbois, they'd have stayed in thirteenth place. Gadbois results aren't due to superior skating. It's just payola.
Here's a whole article out about Brian Orser kind of sub-coaching for Virtue Moir for three hours while D/L were delayed. Virtue and Moir don't need Brian Freaking Orser watching over their warm-up jackets and skate guards at this stage of their career and abilities. Not for a single practice session at Skate Freaking Canada. There are a million stand-ins who could do board duty.
I'd love to know how the money for this charade is structured. Dubreuil Lauzon and Virtue Moir could be a straight quid pro quo - they enhance Gadbois's reputation by giving Gadbois the credit for fixing their nonexistent flaws, and in exchange for that fake news, Virtue and Moir are allowed to win.
Virtue and Moir are absolutely stunning in the Skate Canada practice videos.
They're thrilling to watch, but it also makes me a little sick to my stomach. A bit later I'll do Virtue Moir's free dance rotational versus Gabriella sitting on Guillaume like a he's teacup in an Ages 3-7 amusement park ride, while we all know that the judges are going to treat both elements as if they're equal in quality and oh so close in execution. I know this, and yet it's hard to keep down.
Blech. Bunched fists of drama from Kaitlyn, lots of face skating. Hated that program.
Beverly Smith has dumbed down her writing incredibly. Je suis malade à ce sujet aussi.
*Sarcasm.
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Putting these up as a placeholder. Delayed due to a series of travel meltdowns that started Friday night. Everything is finally squared away, and I'll fill this post in later.
I'm already aware that their rumba pattern doesn't cover the ice with the power and speed of Virtue and Moir - but whose does, and their rumba pattern still does show power and speed. They're skating closer together with even cleaner unison than before. I'm just choking on the necessity of pointing out once again that P/C suck and yet on fan forums and in the judges' scoring will be proclaimed technically superior as well as the better performers.
I hate hate hate hate the rest stop in the step sequence, no matter how brilliantly Virtue and Moir manage it (with nobody noticing). Look how Tessa arrests her momentum on a dime and nails that attitude pose every time. They figure out how to brilliant it up so they don't lower themselves to the level of pathetic, but how much dumber is ice dance going to get?
Look ma, no hands (very nearly). A 2-footed stationery lift I can get behind.
I'm glad this apples to apples lift exists. Try to see the difference, ice dance. Or better to say, try to acknowledge the difference, ice dance, as the sport already knows and understands the difference, but has decided not to credit it.
I mean, every BIT as difficult as what we've seen from the other tops teams. Perhaps even more because of the "magic"./s*
Lord have mercy I think Gilles & Poirier's short is better than Papadakis & Cizeron's. And theirs isn't great.
I know fans on skating forums hate having their screen names dragged onto this blog, but I'm using MarieM as a representative example. This kind of shit typifies a forum post. "I look at their technique and it's pristine." They just say that, no hesitation. But no, it's not top notch. You've been on a fan board for 20 years or something, and you still have no idea what top notch ice dance technique looks like. You are fine with the standards you've made up in your head, which are about how you understand music, and about the movement style you prefer. You've standards using no objective criteria for excellent skating, and yet you think your assessment of skating is as valid as anyone who actually knows what they're talking about.
Anybody who deconstructed Papadakis & Cizeron's skating per the standards and criteria that define superior skating skills would find flaws at every turn.
Some other poster rhapsodized about how their arms intertwined. Well, because emphasizing the arms distracts from the distance between their bodies and their skates, not to mention the continual misalignment of their skates and their lack of unison, not just in body line but in timing.
How is it that everybody who knows nothing about skating but loves to talk about music cuts, acting, costuming, arms and facial expressions sticks around and grows old on skating forums, but people who do know about skating disappear? I guess because the know nothing "side" is winning - not the argument, but the results. Hard to argue with those, as the saying goes, even if the results have nothing to do with what was skated. Nothing brought that home more than the scores PC got in their early outings, no matter what happens down the line. If Virtue Moir were not back in competition, PC's scores would still be simultaneously outrageous and pathetic.*
*Was reading about an official who wants to change the rules, scoring, and the nature of the programs competed even more. He's thinking about TV ratings. Figure skating is reality TV, it's not a sport. The rules facilitate reality TV, not competition, not sport. I don't think dumbing down figure skating will make it more popular. I think the opposite will accomplish that. But you can't tell that to officials whose baseline worldview is they're smart and most people who aren't them are dumb.
tWhat would this have scored if it were, say, Gilles Poirier (who, btw, have better unison, which is not a compliment in either direction). What about those teensy choctaws?
That's something I will try to gif later - all the choctaws we've seen so far.
Oops.
A reminder that according to the rulebook, this thing:
Uncanny. Their skating is pretty generic, so actually almost any calm-ish lyrical-ish piece would fit any program they did, but, more than that, they have only one rhythm and one way of phrasing: dadadada hold. Da da da da hold. Da da da da applause.
